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A Dirty Shame

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A Dirty Shame is a 2004 film about an uptight, middle-aged, repressed woman who turns into a sex addict after getting hit on the head. She then falls into an underground subculture of sex addicts in suburban Baltimore.

Written and directed by John Waters.
Threatening the very limits of common decency.

Sylvia

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  • Can't you see I'm cooking scrapple!
  • My pussy's on fire!
  • PINK STEEL!
  • I'm just Sylvia Stickles, I'm a horny woman with a head injury.
  • Help me to keep my sexual sobriety!
  • I'm Sylvia, and my clitoris is in crisis
  • I'm Sylvia Stickles and I've got the itch!

Ray Ray

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  • A concussion is a terrible thing to waste.
  • I've got a hard-on of gold, and my tongue is on fire.
  • One day we're going to discover a brand new sex act, one that's never been performed before. And we hope you'll be with us on that day of carnal rapture!

Vaughn

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  • A man has needs, Sylvia! Marital needs!

Big Ethel

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  • We got blatant homosexuals shopping right in our store. They eat life you know. Sperm!
  • Did you see those new neighbors moving in? Grown men with hairy legs prancing around half-naked? "We're bears." What the hell is that supposed to mean?!

Marge

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  • Filthy little hedges, growing all dirty! Makes me sick!
  • I read in the paper the other day that the average married couple has sex over 100 times a year! That's a lie, people would be raw if that was true!
  • I'm going to call the postmaster general — if he's not whacking off! — and report your potty mouth!

Others

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Decency Rally Attendant: Look, I'm not a prude, I'm married to an Italian.
Old Woman: I seen you, Sylvia Stickles. Showin your pubic patch to the bus driver! You should move downtown where you belong, ya whore!
Cow Patty: [upon seeing Big Ethel] Wow, a tranny bear!
Doctor: Sylvia, you have what is known as a runaway vagina.
Paige: Admit to God you are a whore. Make a list of all the people you've fucked, and apologize to their parents.
Dora: All this yelling's giving me a Swedish headache. You know what I mean? Horny! Nothing wrong with beating the beaver once in a while.
Caprice: Let my mother's pussy be!
Sex Addicts Group: HALT! Horny! Anal! Lustful! TITTIES!

Dialogue

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Sylvia: You were convicted of indecent exposure for the third time!
Caprice: I was promoting the art of dance!
Sylvia: With nude loitering? Nude and disorderly conduct? Nude drunken driving?!
Caprice: I was not DRUNK! I was on PILLS!
Sylvia: Something is the matter with you, Caprice!
Caprice: You are SUCH a neuter, mother! And neuters will never understand!
Sylvia: Something is the matter with your vagina!

Betty: Don't you find it funny that every man in this neighborhood has a penis? [giggles]
Vaughn: Well, not really, Betty.

Driver: Hurry up! I've got a hot date!
Sylvia: What, at 7 am?! What's the matter with you?
Female Driver: You'd have a date too if you wore some makeup!

Vaughn: Good morning Big Ethel.
Big Ethel: What's good about a morning with dildos in it?
Shopper: Amen to that! My husband's on Viagra!
Big Ethel: Oh you poor thing!
Shopper: Every minute he wants it!
Marge: He has no right to be that hard!
Shopper: I'm Viagra-vated and I'm not going to take it anymore!

Big Ethel: We're having a decency rally.
Resident: You'd better start in your own back yard then. I heard your daughter Sylvia picked up a bottle with her cooter in the old folks' home!
Big Ethel: That's not true! My daughter's a good girl, she hates sex!

Officer Alvin: I'm an adult baby, Sylvia. You want to be my Mommy?
Ray Ray: Adult babies are into age regression. They intensely eroticize being infants, and, sometimes they like to be burped.
Officer Alvin: I'm a big boy! And I'm beyond the law.

Papa Bear: We're husky, we're hairy, we're homosexual, and out of the second closet!
Mama Bear: And we can cuddle all night!

Big Ethel: Do you know how embarrassing this is for me? One nymphomaniac in the family is bad enough, but two?!
Vaughn: It's a disease, Big Ethel.
Big Ethel: Bein' a whore is a disease?!

Dora: Ever take a roofie?
Sylvia: NO!
Dora: Me neither. I'm afraid I'd stay home and date-rape myself all night long!

Cast

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