A Fine Mess
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- Dennis: We're going to die, Spence! We're going to die!
- Spence: No, we're not...
- Dennis: I still have orders!!
- Ellen: Do I smell like onions?
- Dennis: No. Do I?
- Dennis: Why is she called The Hummer?
- Spence: She can't whistle while she works. So, she hums.
- Claudia: [knocks on door and Spence opens it] Good evening.
- Spence: Boy, it sure looks that way. Can I take your coat?
- Claudia: Sure.
- [sheds fur coat and walks into the bedroom wearing only panties]
- Ted Danson - Spence Holden
- Howie Mandel - Dennis Powell
- Richard Mulligan - Wayne 'Turnip' Parragella
- Stuart Margolin - Maurice 'Binky' Drundza
- María Conchita Alonso - Claudia Pazzo
- Jennifer Edwards - Ellen Frankenthaler
- Paul Sorvino - Tony Pazzo
- Rick Ducommun - Wardell
- Keye Luke - Ishimine
- Ed Herlihy - TV Reporter
- Walter Charles - Auctioneer
- Tawny Moyer - Leading Lady
- Emma Walton - First Extra
- Carrie Leigh - Second Extra
- Sharan Lea - Young Girl
- Dennis Franz - Phil
- Larry Storch - Leopold Klop