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A Matter of Loaf and Death

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Wallace & Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death is a 2008 British stop-motion animated short film created by Nick Park, and the fourth of his shorts to star his characters Wallace and Gromit. It is the first Wallace and Gromit short since A Close Shave in 1995.

Wallace & Gromit: A Matter of Loaf and Death is a murder mystery, with Wallace and Gromit starting a new bakery business. With an unknown assailant murdering bakers, Gromit tries to solve the case before Wallace ends up a victim himself. It was the last Wallace and Gromit film before the retirement of Wallace's voice actor Peter Sallis in 2010.

Directed by Nick Park. Written by Nick Park and Bob Baker.

Dialogue

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Wallace: Mmmm, lovely cheese. [Gromit hits the windmill, with the water balloon falling on Wallace] I could just wash it down with nice... [the water balloon falls on Wallace, startling him as he wakes up] I was just coming, lad. [Gromit takes the bread out, pulling the lever] On my way, Gromit! [slides down, putting pants on] With you in a jiffy! [slides down] Tally-ho! [Gromit continues riding down, then Wallace continues sliding down] Oh, no! [Gromit moves the slide down] Thanks, lad! [the hand touches Wallace, then Gromit puts bread in, closing the door, saying, "Dough to Door DELIVERY", rising a hat] Fill 'er up, lad! [Gromit presses the tea button, driving out of the garage, drinking tea] Ah. Lovely cuppa, Gromit! But, a slightly diesel-y aftertaste, perhaps? How's that breakfast coming on? [Gromit puts toast on the plate] Well done, lad! [looks at a toast] Very well done. [eats toast] Thanks, chuck! [pats Gromit on the head, then looks at the newspaper as Gromit blows his hat back up again] Oh... Oh, dear! Another baker, battered with his own rolling pin. Would you credit it? Still, looking on the bright side, I suppose it means more business for us, huh, Gromit?
Wallace: Oh! Hello.
Piella Bakewell: We were just passing by, going for a walk, and Fluffles insisted on dropping in, hoping you would join us. Please say yes, she'll be so disappointed, wouldn't you, Fluffy? Wouldn't you, Fluffy?
Wallace: Oh! Well, if you insist, but I'm in me work things.
Piella Bakewell: I like a man in a uniform. Come on! Walkies!
Wallace: [offscreen] Manage without me, won't you, lad? [closes the door]
[Gromit rushes to the kitchen and gets in Wallace's way, stopping him from attempting to try the soup]
Wallace: What the...Hey! What are you playing at, lad? [picks up Gromit] This is getting ridiculous!
Piella Bakewell: [takes Gromit] Oh, Wallace, he just wants a bit of attention, that's all. [to Gromit] Now, my little poochy woochy, let Auntie Piella sort you out. [looks seductively at Wallace once more...then bites herself on the arm, as Gromit watches in shock] OW! Ow! He bit me!
[Wallace suddenly notices this, and Gromit turns to her in shock]
Wallace: [alarmed] Huh?!
Piella Bakewell: I was just trying to help, and he bit me, Wallace!
Wallace: Gromit! How dare you bite my betrothed! That's very impolite.
Piella Bakewell: Oh, don't be too hard on him, Wallace, please. Just a little punishment, that's all. [holds up some chains]
[The scene cuts to Wallace shutting the drawer, locking it, and Gromit is shown muzzled and chained as he is shown cleaning the dishes]
Wallace: [shuts the drawer and locks it, with Gromit is shown muzzled and chained as he cleans the dishes] I'm surprised at you, Gromit. I really am!
Piella Bakewell: [offscreen] Oh, Wallace, my sugar dumpling, have you got a moment?
Wallace: Oh, on my way, my cupcake! [to Gromit] You'll not leave this kitchen till you've done every last one. [to himself, as Gromit continues washing] I don't know, taking a bite out of my lovely fiance--it really is the limit!
Wallace: [after a flour bag hits Piella and knocks her down the stairs] Oh! Are you all right, my flower? [laughs] Flour! [flower] Get it? "Flower"?
Piella Bakewell: [furiously] GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!! I HATE flour...I HATE bread...and I HATE BAKERS, YOU UTTER AND COMPLETE FRUITCAKE!!!!! [she furiously pulls the ring off her finger and flings it at Wallace. It flies into his hand, but he does not catch it]
Wallace: OH! [chuckles nervously] That's a bit steep, isn't it, my sweet?
Piella Bakewell: [picks up Fluffles] Fluffles? I want a word with you: Back home. [walks off, then shuts the door offscreen]
[The scene cuts to the exterior of the house, and then the scene cuts back to Wallace looks at the ring before Gromit putting a cup on the table, dripping the petals]
Wallace: Oh, thanks, old pal. I just don't get it. [Gromit stirs the cup] One minute they love bakers, and the next minute they hate them. And I'm not a fruitcake, am I, lad? [Gromit stops stirring the tea and pats Wallace] I suppose you can't be everybody's cup of tea, can you?
[They both clink their teas, then they hear a doorbell, looking at Piella, holding a large present]
Piella Bakewell: I'm so sorry, Wallace. So, so, sorry. I don't know what came over me...apart from the flour, of course! [laughs]
Wallace: Oh. Ha-ha! Yes.
Piella Bakewell: Let's forget about it. Here's a cake to celebrate. [she suddenly stops in the metal detector as it starts beeping] Oops! Must be my keys.
Piella Bakewell: [notices Gromit and grabs him] Got you, you little meddling mutt! So nice of you to come. Pity you'll miss your master's tea party. It'll go off with a bang!
Wallace: Ooh, I say! Get the kettle on, Gromit.
Piella Bakewell: [throws Gromit into a storage closet with Fluffles] I'll deal with you two later. [closes the door as she laughs maniacally]
Wallace: Come on, lad! What's keeping you?
[The clock almost strikes 4:00]
Piella Bakewell: At last, my 13th. My baker's dozen! [The Bake-O-Lite balloon appears outside the window] Huh? [the scene reveals that Gromit and Fluffles are flying the balloon, waving to her] What?! [turns around and sees she somehow locked them in the Bake-O-Lite storeroom] Curse that balloon! And curse that prevailing south-westerly, they'll be there in no time!
[The clock chimes as it strucks 4:00]
Wallace: Gromit, it's a bomb! The cake's a bomb! Wait a minute. You don't think Piella could be...?
Piella Bakewell: [puts her feet on the bomb] The Cereal [serial] Killer? [she is shown holding a rolling pin in one hand and Fluffles in the other] Well done, Wallace! Sharp as a brick. Now do exactly as I say, or Fluffles gets snuffled. [Fluffles bites her hand] OW!!! [Gromit snatches the bomb from underneath Piella's foot, then Piella throws Fluffles to the floor, releasing her, and looks at the bite mark on her hand, irritated] You've crossed me once too often, you treacherous little...! [then slaps Fluffles, who yelps]
Piella Bakewell: [notices the bomb has fallen out of the window and grunts in annoyance] That has put a spanner in the works. [picks up a wrench]
Wallace: [backing away] But, Piella, you're the Bake-O-Lite Girl!
Piella Bakewell: [swings the wrench as Wallace dodges, then pulls the lid off the ventilation shaft] WAS the Bake-O-Lite Girl! [as she throws the lid off the wrench] I ate too much, you see?
Wallace: Oh, really?
Piella Bakewell: [pulls another lid off the ventilation shaft] I couldn't ride the balloon anymore...
Wallace: Oh, dear!
Piella: ...so they DROPPED me!
Wallace: What a blow! [he accidentally hits his head on a pipe] Ooh!
Piella Bakewell: [pulls off another lid, then as lifts up the wrench] ME! A curse on bakers and their loathsome confections!!!
Wallace: GROMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Piella attempts to strike her final attack, but abruptly stops as she freezes. Wallace then opens his eyes slowly as he's still alive. Piella slowly turns around, then gasps as lets go of the wrench, dropping it, and a machine's arm flies towards her and smacks her aside, causing her to bounce across into a stack of lard cans]
Wallace: [stops the fight between Piella and Fluffles] Hey! Anyone seen the bomb? What? [turns around, revealing the bomb is in the back of his pants] What?
[Gromit suddenly notices this in shock, as well as Fluffles, who also gasps in shock]
Piella Bakewell: Bomb [bon] Voyage, Wallace! [leaps from the edge and lands into the balloon] Your buns are as good as toasted! [turns up the hot air from the balloon, causing the fire to ignite]
Wallace: [notices the bomb in the back of his pants, then starts panicking] GROMIT! I've got a bomb in me pants!!! Help me, Gromit! Do something!!
Wallace: Oh, what a relief! Oh, evening, sisters!
[The two nuns notice this, and they gasp in shock, dropping their kittens]
Piella Bakewell: [vowing in regret] I will be back to get you, Wallace! I WILL HAVE MY BAKER'S DOZEN!!
Wallace: But Piella, the balloon won't hold you!
Piella Bakewell: [last words before her death, redeeming herself] They can't just drop me. I'm as light as a feather. I'M THE BAKE-O-LITE GIRL...!!! [the hot air balloon floats down into the crocodile pit at the zoo]
Wallace: [off-screen] NOOOOOO!!! [the balloon splashes into the crocodile pit and the crocodiles eat Piella alive along with the balloon. Wallace covers his eyes, looking away, along with Fluffles, who does so as she clings to Gromit. after that, Wallace slowly looks again, as a belch is heard, with the "remains" of the balloon floating up into the air] Farewell, my angel cake. You'll always be my Bake-O-Lite Girl. [Piella's younger, yet thinner and redeemed spirit then appears, waving at Wallace and then fades away into the heavens. Short pause, then Wallace is suddenly relieved] Ha! I think I need a cup of tea after all that. Care to join me, you two? [as he starts to walk back to the living room]

Cast

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