A Muppet Family Christmas
A Muppet Family Christmas is a 1987 Christmas television special starring the Muppets. It features four of the major Muppet franchises as a crossover: The Muppet Show, Sesame Street, Fraggle Rock and Muppet Babies.
- [watching the Muppets sing from the kitchen door] Well, they certainly seem to be having a good time out there, Sprocket. Yeah, I like it when they have a good time. But I tell you what: somebody will have to do something about these dishes, Sprocket. Come on. I'll wash, you'll dry, okay?
- [answering the phone] Hello? Give me presents! ... [hears it's Miss Piggy] Oh! Pig. [puts the phone down]
- I don't care if the Turkey said the dog is a Turkey, the dog is NOT the turkey. The turkey's the turkey, you turkey.
Repeated line by everyone
- Careful the icy patch!
- Doc: Excuse me, Ms. Bear. Remember me? I rented this place to have a nice quiet Christmas.
- Animal: Peace on Earth. Give me presents!
[Sprocket barks at Animal]
- Doc: Be careful, Sprocket. These could be from some foreign planet.
- Emily Bear: Actually, they're from television. I recognize Fozzie's weirdo friends.
- Dr. Teeth: Yeah, and we're proud of it, too!
- Sam the Eagle: Why am I here?
- Doc: [to Sprocket]: Tell me Spocket: are these anything like those Fraggles that you keep on telling me?
[Christmas Turkey is flirting with Camilla]
- Turkey: I take it chicken little, you're my kind of poultry
- Gonzo: Camilla! What is going on here?
- Turkey: You got some fine drumsticks there my fine feathered mama.
- Gonzo: But Camilla's MY girlfriend!
- Turkey: You've gotta be kidding. You're not even a bird!
- Gonzo: Well, nobody's perfect.
[The Sesame Street gang is singing Deck the Halls]
- Ernie: See the blazing yule before us.
- All: Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
- Bert: Strike the harp and join the chorus.
- All: Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
- Oscar the Grouch: I will NOT sing this song!
- All: Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!
- Ernie: Oh, hi there. Hey, we're Ernie and Bert.
- Doc: Well, hi there yourself, I'm Doc.
- Bert: Did you know that Doc starts with the letter "D"?
- Doc: Why, yes.
- Ernie: Yes! Yes starts with the letter "Y".
- Doc: True.
- Ernie: And true starts with the letter "T".
- Doc: Hey, what is this?
- Bert: Where we come from, this is small talk.
- Emily Bear: Alright, the huge canary sleeps in the attic with the cookie-eater. The blue monster said he'll sleep in the bathtub. And Ernie and Bert will bunk out with the lizard here.
- Kermit the Frog: Frog. Kermit the Frog.
- Fozzie Bear: What about Oscar?
- Oscar the Grouch: No, I'll be nicely miserable in my trash can here.
- Rizzo the Rat: Hey, maybe I could bunk out with you?
- Oscar the Grouch: I never had a rat in my trash can before.
- Janice: Hey, everybody, look what I've got: Christmas cookies!
- Cookie Monster: COOKIE! [gobbles up the whole basket] Oh, thank you!
- Janice: Who was that strange blue creature?
- Animal: Dat my kinda fella!
- Ernie: Hey, everybody, it's time for our Sesame Street pageant. It's called 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Come on out Bert.
- Bert: I won't
- Ernie: Come on, Bert.
- Bert: Ernie, please don't make me
- Ernie: Bert, listen, everyone's waiting.
[Bert comes out dressed as MaMa]
- Bert: Ernie, why must you always humiliate me?
- Ernie: Come one, Bert. Somebody has to play MaMa, and you lost the toss.
[The 'Twas the Night Before Christmas play continues]
- Ernie: "...I sprang from my bed to see what's the matter" ... Open the curtain!
[The curtain opens to reveal various Sesame Street monsters playing the reindeer]
- Bert: Monsters as reindeer? This is crazy! And where's Santa Claus?
- Ernie: Don't worry Bert. We're getting to him. [returning back to read the story] "With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick."
[The Two-Headed Monster appears, with each head wearing a white beard]
- Sam the Eagle: Is nothing sacred?
- Bert: Now what a minute. Who let the Two-Headed Monster be Santa Claus?
- Ernie: But Bert, he said he never been in a play before ... I mean they said it ... both of them said it.
- Doc: Boy, that storm is getting worse.
- Kermit the Frog: I hope Miss Piggy is ok.
- Doc: There is one worried frog.
- Count von Count: That's one! One worried frog!
- Robin: He's not the only one.
- Count von Count: That two! Two worried frogs!
- Doc: [to Spocket after the Count leaves] Search me, more small talk I think.
- Kermit the Frog: We just came down here to wish you all a Merry Christmas.
- Wembley Fraggle: What's Christmas?
- Robin: Don't you have Christmas?
- Red Fraggle: No.
- Robin: Well, that's when you gather together with the people you love, and you wish each other peace on earth.
- Red Fraggle: We have a time like that.
- Mokey Fraggle: Yes, we do. As a matter of fact we're celebrating it right now. We give each other little presents. I'm giving Boober this nice shiny pebble.
- Red Fraggle: And I gave Mokey that pebble last year.
- Wembley Fraggle: And I gave it to Red that year before that.
- Boober Fraggle: And I gave it to you, Wembley, the year before that.
- Gobo Fraggle: That pebble has been a gift 37 times.
- Robin: And speaking of presents, Grover, I'd like you to have this Fraggle pebble.
- Grover: This Fraggle pebble here is for me? Oh, I just love Christmas!