A Touch of Frost

A Touch of Frost (TV series) was a television series starring David Jason as Detective Inspector Jack Frost, Bruce Alexander as Superintendent Norman Mullett, John Lyons as Detective Sergeant George Toolan and Arthur White as police archivist Ernie Trigg, based on the books and characters of R.D. Wingfield.

Series 1 (1992)

Episode 1 Care and Protection

• Frost: (Desk Sgt walking in with files) Don't give me anymore of that stuff, just burn it.

Desk Sgt: What you make of that phone call?

Frost: What phone call?

Desk Sgt: There's a note on your desk here somewhere.

Frost: Well what did it say this note?

Desk Sgt: Here we go. Caller wanted to talk to you about the missing girl, wouldn't leave his name. Just said, tell him her mother withdrew a large sum. Then he rang off.

Frost: Why didn't you tell me this before?

Desk Sgt: It's been sitting around here for god knows how long. If you cleaned up that desk once in a while you might be able to find something. It's a bit of paper it's not the Queen.

Frost: He's quite right of course?

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Episode 2 Not With Kindness

• Frost: Cover your animals eyes and lock up your children, Mr Mullett is making another one of his television appearances.

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• Frost: You seem to have a nice little insurance policy, in a bloody big file!

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• Mrs Compton: You think I give a damn about the money?

Frost: Quite frankly my dear, I don't think you give a damn about anything else!

Episode 3 Conclusions

(After Frost makes a fake phone call about a burglar to gain entry to a flat he wants to search where he and his PC are sitting outside and get the call of the burglary)

• Landlord: (In a lift) He won't like it you know.

Frost: He could be in there with his head bashed in.

Landlord: He could be out.

Frost: There is that certainly.

Landlord: It's not my job to go and upset him. His mothers a member of parliament you know.

Frost: Get away.

Landlord: Comes here quite often, real lady she is, always give me a friendly like. Who would climb these balconies from the outside?

Frost: Um these cat burglars they can get up anywhere when they put their mind to it.

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Series 2 (1994)

Episode 4 A Minority of One

• Superintendent Mullett: And CID are happy with that, are they? The thought that burglars can plunder the town at will?

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• Superintendent Mullett: A superintendent has quite enough to do without worrying about crime.

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• Frost: Clark, tragic news I'm afraid. Your goldfish is about to OD on cocaine.

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• Superintendent Mullett: Well I hope the incident was sensitively handled.

Frost: Don't worry, we'll give it a decent burial.

Superintendent Mullett: What?

Frost: The goldfish, after the postmortem of course.

Superintendent Mullett: Goldfish are not my prime concern at the moment as you well know.

Frost: Nor mine, sir. At least this one died happy.

Superintendent Mullett: Jack, I think you better step into my office.

Frost: Yes sir.

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Desk Sgt: You see Jack, a lot of people whinge about positive discrimination. But if you don't have positive discrimination you're left with negative discrimination and that leads to inertia, perpetuating the status quo.

Frost: I used to quite like them.

Desk Sgt: You've got to get proportional representation.

Frost: What are you talking about now, politics?

Desk Sgt: In all ranks. When you got a black superintendent that's when you don't need to push the Tanners of this world through the system anymore cause it will happen naturally.

Frost: How did Mullett get there then? He's not black, and he's certainly not natural.

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• Superintendent Mullett: I'm moving DC Turner elsewhere.

Frost: Well why sir? I haven't had a chance to teach him any of my bad habits yet?

Superintendent Mullett: The placement was misguided. To be frank, I now realize officers such as DC Turner need to be nurtured and protected not exposed to the prejudiced, insensitive and downright offensive attitude, which is what you seemed to have ingrained.

Frost: Well, as long as it was nothing personal, sir.

Episode 5 Widows and Orphans

• Frost: Here, by the way, what do you think of me new jacket?

D.C.I. Allen: Very nice.

Frost: hmm, (pointing at the inside label) made in Czechoslovakia.

D.C.I. Allen: (Sarcastically) Not surprised.

Frost: Four pound fifty.

D.C.I. Allen: (Sarcastically) They drive a hard bargain these Czechs.

Frost: No no no, got it of the vicar.

D.C.I. Allen: Oh! it's nice to see Mr Mullett's is having some affect on you.

Frost: Mullett! nothing, got a date!

Episode 6 Nothing to Hide

(Arriving to the Desk Sgt with a homeless man who is half dressed who also really smells)

• Frost: (Sheepishly) I need to talk to him about Ben Cornish.

Desk Sgt: Well why can't you do it down wind in the car park?

Frost: Because I'm tired and he's tired and he's been putting a lot away and I'm not getting any sense out of him. So I want him banged up nice and tight so I can speak to him first thing in the morning.

Desk Sgt: You do know the last time we had him in a cell we had to hose it down afterwards.

Frost: Yes I know William, but what you've got to remember that he's just a human being like you are.

Desk Sgt: Bullocks.

Frost: I knew you'd understand.

Episode 7 Stranger in the House

(Police tearing a board of a bordered up building)

• Building owner: Who's going to pay for all this?

Frost: (Sarcastically) Well if you'd like to send me the bill sir I'll make sure it goes through the proper channels.

Series 3 (1995)

Episode 8 Appropriate Adults

(Frost is talking to Mrs Tenant the hospital administrator)

• Frost: And you don't know him very well?

Mrs Tenant: What I do know is, the less the mentally handicapped expect from life, the easier their lives are. The less they have to do with sex, the better.

Frost: (Sarcastically) No different from you and me, really, Mrs. Turner?

Frost: Thank you for your help.

Episode 9 Quarry

(After giving a talk on policing that related to a personal dream, to a large police audience)

• Superintendent Mullett: Laying one's self bare in public is not conducive to good policing.

Frost: Aye, sir.

Superintendent Mullett: Eccentrics are only tolerated so long as they come up with the goods. Bear that in mind.

Frost: Yes I will sir. Eccentric? Huh.

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• Frost: Look at that! It's either blood or a messy eater, eh?

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• Superintendent Mullett: No?

Frost: What self-respecting contract killer is going to throw away a sweatshirt? And why abduct Cody in the first place? Why not somebody blast him on his doorstep? No, I'm sorry, it still looks personal to me.

Superintendent Mullett: Hunt-sick terrorism gone mad.

Frost: Yeah well, I'll sleep on it sir.

Superintendent Mullett: Yeah you do that, perhaps the answer will come to you in a dream!

External links

• A Touch of Frost quotes at the Internet Movie Database