Alice in Wonderland (1976 film)
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- For other uses of "Alice in Wonderland", see Alice in Wonderland (disambiguation).
- Directed by Bud Townsend. Written by Bucky Searles. Based on the novel of Lewis Carroll.
- Well if it feels good, there's a good chance it must be bad.
- Oh my goodness... Are you all right?... I thought I'd broken it.
- We don't have any towels. We had one once, but it was stolen by a hotel.
King of Hearts
- [to Alice] May my rod and staff comfort thee.
- Alice: Oh! It looks like somebody had an accident.
- The White Rabbit: THAT'S a funny thing to call it.
- Humpty Dumpty: Who's she? I've never seen HER before.
- Mad Hatter: She's new in these parts.
- The White Rabbit: She's embarrassed - I think she's still a virgin.
- Mad Hatter: Well if that's the case, she should be embarrassed. I've never heard of such a thing.
- Alice: Well I'm trying to learn, honestly, but I can't have everything shoved down my throat all at once.
- Mad Hatter: Well I don't see why not.
- Tweedledum: Oh, Dee! You're so great! I love you like a brother!
- Tweedledee: Dum, aren't you forgetting? I AM your brother.
- Mad Hatter: And after the King's ball comes off, we're eating dinner in the Queen's box.
- Alice: Dinner in the Queen's box?
- Mad Hatter: Well not dinner exactly, it's more like a boxed lunch.
- Alice: Don't you think you should put that thing away?
- Mad Hatter: Certainly not, I just let it out! Don't you like it?
- Alice: Well... Yes, it's very nice.
- Mad Hatter: You may touch it.
- Alice: Oh, I couldn't!
- Mad Hatter: I don't see why not.
- Alice: Well, because it's yours.
- Mad Hatter: [rolling his eyes] I'll share it with you.
- Maggy: What is this?
- Alice: It's my breast.
- Maggy: What is this for?
- Alice: One day, whan I have a baby, it'll have milk in it.
- Maggy: Oh, it's pretty.
- Queen of Hearts: I want her head!
- Alice: Please Ma'am, I'm just learning about life, I'm too young to die, don't cut off my head.
- Queen of Hearts: You misunderstand me, doll. I don't wanna cut off your head. I want you to give me some head.
- Queen of Hearts: [Alice is asking for a fair trial] A Trial? Where is it written, that we have to give you a trial?
- Mad Hatter: It says so right here in this book.
- [showing the King of Hearts and the Queen of Hearts the book "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"]
- An X-Rated Musical Comedy.
- The world's favorite bedtime story.
- Kristine DeBell – Alice
- Bucky Searles – Humpty Dupty
- Ron Nelson – William
- Alan Novak – Mad Hatter
- J. P. Paradine – Judge/Scrugg
- Larry Gelman – The White Rabbit