Alien Loves Predator

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Alien Loves Predator, or ALP, (2004-) is a webcomic written by Bernie Hou. It spoofs the Alien Vs. Predator franchise. Reversing the adversarial relationship depicted in Alien vs. Predator, ALP presents an Alien (named Abe) and a Predator (named Preston) as friends and roommates in current-day New York City.


Abe: "Staten Island"? Now they're just making up places.


Preston: OK, Abe just went to hit on some girls on a blanket next to us. Look for them fleeing in disgust.


Abe: You know what I'd do if I could cloak?
Preston: Sneak into girl's locker rooms.
Abe: Fuck yeah!
Preston: You do that now!


Preston: What celebrity do I most resemble?
Abe: Jennifer Love Hewitt.


Preston: What is my favorite word?
[Abe hits him]
Preston: Ow! What the fuck, you fuck! Fucking smacking me in the fucking head! Fuck that fucking hurt! Come here you fuck, I'm gonna fucking... oh, thanks.


Abe: Why don't they have weed dating? I'd be all over that shit.
Preston: I've got something you should try. It's called "Carbon dating"


Woman: Why aren't you wearing pants?
Abe: Phew! I was afraid you'd ask me something awkward.


Man: Welcome to the open house! Help yourself to some crack!


Preston: Who's your daddy?
Man: Ah, we meet again. Only this time, the pupil has become the master.
Preston: The correct answer was "The Yankees! The Yankees are my daddy!"


Abe: Chicks dig dangerous guys!
Preston: You don't need any help convincing women you're unsafe.


Abe: Will this hurt more or less than having a gerbil shoved up your ass?


William Hung Tattoo: Let me eat his liver!


Abe: Do they have George Bush the third's inauguration?
Preston: Dammit, don't even joke about that!

Preston: They have the tenth anniversary Paris Hilton sex tape "Paris falls for a space para-lesbian aboard the starship Tender-Thighs."
Abe: Hey, she used my script!


Abe: Worship my penis!


Preston: Your mom's on the phone!
Abe: No, your moms on the phone!


Preston: Ok, is it daytime or nighttime right now?
Short Taxi Driver: Uh, you mean right now?
Preston: Goodbye.
Short Taxi Driver: No, wait! Wouldn't you rather know what colour my floor mats are? Or what a dachsund smells like?


Preston: For the last time, you're not a ninja. I know you're there.
Preston:... You're just lying on the floor, Abe.
Abe: Shit!


Woman: I hope tonight's Sex And The City is the one where Carrie obesseses over shoes! And men!
Man: I have white headphones. Please rob me.
Man in orange shirt: I am wearing a bright orange shirt. I am not from here.
Abe: I. Am. I-ron man. Da-nanananananana...


Preston: Uh, I think you should download a different ringtone, Abe.
Abe: Why? What's wrong with-
Jesus: "Were!!" It's "What if god were one of us!!


Abe: Smile!
Preston: Wait, did I cloak? I think I cloaked on that one.

Abe: Yeah, see, I just made my phone look like a ham sandwich!
Preston: That's incredibly useful.
Abe: Hey, a ham sandwich! I need to take a picture o' this!


Preston: I can do 70 pushups with my penis!


Preston: Thank y-- Hey! What the-- This is "Predator seeking Predator"!

What the hell is going on in this cover shot??


Voice mail: I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that. Say 'clean' or 'soiled' underwear.
Voice mail: The rest of this menu will be presented in interpretative dance.


Abe: Now I suppose you want some dating pointers.
Preston: This'll be good.
Abe: Girls like it when you use a fly swatter to give 'em a little swat on the cheek.
Abe:Oh! You didn't think I meant butt cheek did you? That...that'd be be inappropriate.


Preston: Man, even Jesus is groaning at your mom jokes now.
Abe: To Jesus Okay, your mom-
Jesus:--Is a well documented virgin. And?
Jesus: Zing.



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