American Pie Presents: Beta House

American Pie Presents: Beta House is a 2007 American teen comedy released directly to DVD.

Dialogue

Wesley: [wakes up on plane] Excuse me, where's this plane going to?

Stewardess: Detroit.

Wesley: [sighs with relief] Thank God! [panics] ... Excuse me! Where's it coming from?

Stewardess: Bangkok.

Wesley: Thai...

[Wesley's sleeve is tugged by Sun Lei]

Wesley: Whose kid is that?

Stewardess: Yours - you adopted him yesterday. Congratulations!

Wesley: [waves gingerly] Hey buddy.

---

Ashley: How're you feeling?

Erik Stifler: Hey. Good, thanks.

Ashley: Here, let me see.

Erik Stifler: Oh, no. No, no. Ashley, it's... You really don't need to do anything.

Ashley: Oh my God, Erik. You have to put something on that.

Erik Stifler: No, it's just a little red.

Ashley: Here, let me.

[Ashley takes some healing gel and starts rubbing it on Erick's burn]

Erik Stifler: It's really not necessary...

[Erik gasps]

Ashley: Does it hurt?

Erik Stifler': No, it's just really cold.

[Ashley rubs slower]

Ashley: Does that feel better?

Erik Stifler: Yeah. Mmm-hmm.

Ashley: Wow!

[Megan is shocked by Erik's erection through the towel]

Erik Stifler: Oh man!

Ashley: I didn't even touch it. Mmm. No, it's no big deal. I guess I should just take it as a compliment, right?

Erik Stifler: I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry.

Ashley: It's cool.

Erik Stifler: How that cream feels good. Ash, you might wanna...

Ashley: [whispering] Just relax.

Erik Stifler: [panting] It's still hot.

[John falls backward and his towel falls off, his semen squirts on the wall, a picture frame and Mr. Biggles the teddy bear]

Ashley: Oh my God! Mr. Biggles!