American Pie Presents: Beta House

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American Pie Presents: Beta House is a 2007 American teen comedy released directly to DVD.


Wesley: [wakes up on plane] Excuse me, where's this plane going to?
Stewardess: Detroit.
Wesley: [sighs with relief] Thank God! [panics] ... Excuse me! Where's it coming from?
Stewardess: Bangkok.
Wesley: Thai...
[Wesley's sleeve is tugged by Sun Lei]
Wesley: Whose kid is that?
Stewardess: Yours - you adopted him yesterday. Congratulations!
Wesley: [waves gingerly] Hey buddy.

Ashley: How're you feeling?
Erik Stifler: Hey. Good, thanks.
Ashley: Here, let me see.
Erik Stifler: Oh, no. No, no. Ashley, it's... You really don't need to do anything.
Ashley: Oh my God, Erik. You have to put something on that.
Erik Stifler: No, it's just a little red.
Ashley: Here, let me.
[Ashley takes some healing gel and starts rubbing it on Erick's burn]
Erik Stifler: It's really not necessary...
[Erik gasps]
Ashley: Does it hurt?
Erik Stifler': No, it's just really cold.
[Ashley rubs slower]
Ashley: Does that feel better?
Erik Stifler: Yeah. Mmm-hmm.
Ashley: Wow!
[Megan is shocked by Erik's erection through the towel]
Erik Stifler: Oh man!
Ashley: I didn't even touch it. Mmm. No, it's no big deal. I guess I should just take it as a compliment, right?
Erik Stifler: I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry.
Ashley: It's cool.
Erik Stifler: How that cream feels good. Ash, you might wanna...
Ashley: [whispering] Just relax.
Erik Stifler: [panting] It's still hot.
[John falls backward and his towel falls off, his semen squirts on the wall, a picture frame and Mr. Biggles the teddy bear]
Ashley: Oh my God! Mr. Biggles!