American Splendor (film)
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- Directed by Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini. Screenplay by Shari Springer Berman and Robert Pulcini.
Ordinary life is pretty complex stuff.
- I've had enough bad experiences and growth to last me plenty...Right now, I'd be glad to trade some growth for happiness.
- Man, she's got good looking handwriting.
- Look Toby, the guys in that movie are not 28 year-old file clerks who live with their grandmothers in an ethnic ghetto...They didn't get their computers like you did, by trading in a bunch of box tops and $49.50 at the supermarket...Sure, go to the movies and daydream, but Revenge of the Nerds ain't reality. It's just Hollywood bullshit.
- Yeah, I know I'm not as interesting as The Little Mermaid and all that magical crap.
- Why does everything in my life have to be such a complicated disaster?!
- Harvey, we better skip this whole courtship thing and just get married.
- I guess I have a lot of borderline health disorders that limit me politically when it comes to eating.
- I'll have you know that I come from a very dysfunctional family. I can spot personality disorders a mile away.
- [referring to David Letterman] Megalomaniac.
- I find most of American cities to be depressing in the same way.
- I recommend the piña coladas. They are excellent and very authentic tasting.
- [to Harvey] You know, you should try believing in something bigger than yourself. It might cheer you up.
- [regarding "Revenge of the Nerds"] Yes, I consider myself a nerd. And this movie has uplifted me.
- Hamburgers are a safer addiction than drugs. Say no to drugs. Say yes to White Castle.
- Young Harvey: I ain't no super hero, lady. I'm just a kid from the neighborhood, all right?
- Crumb: You turned yourself into a comic hero?
- Real Harvey: It seemed that real, salt of the earth people like Toby and me were being co-opted by these huge corporations. We were getting held up and ridiculed as losers in the system. What can I say, it was the '80s, man.
- Danielle: [to Harvey] Joyce is right. You are obsessive-compulsive.
- Mr. Boats: Avoid the reeking herd! Shun the polluted flock! Live like that stoic bird, the eagle of the rock!" You know what that means, son?
- Harvey: Yeah. It's from an Elinor Hoyt Wylie poem. It means stay away from the crowds of common ordinary people and do your own thing.
- Mr. Boats: Nope, it means don't compromise yourself for women. Ain't gonna do you no good. Get away from them as soon as you can!
- Harvey: Well, I ain't got no woman now. So I'm living like the stoic bird, man.
- Mr. Boats: The only way to live, son.
- Mattress Guy 1: So how smart is she?
- Mattress Guy 2: I don't know. I guess she's about average.
- Mattress Guy 1: Average? Hey, man. Average is dumb!
- Joyce: Hi, Harvey. We finally meet in person.
- Harvey: Hiya. Look, before we get started with any of this, you might as well know right off the bat. I had a vasectomy.
- Joyce: Harvey, go get me water and a few aspirin.
- Harvey: What, you got a headache?
- Joyce: No, but I want to avoid one.
- Paul Giamatti — Harvey Pekar
- Hope Davis — Joyce Brabner
- Harvey Pekar — Real Harvey
- Shari Springer Berman — Interviewer
- James Urbaniak — Robert Crumb
- Judah Friedlander — Toby Radloff
- Earl Billings — Mr. Boats
- Joyce Brabner — Real Joyce
- Toby Radloff — Real Toby
- Madylin Sweeten — Danielle
- James McCaffrey — Fred
- Danielle Batone — Real Danielle
- Maggie Moore — Alice Quinn
- Molly Shannon — Stage Joyce
- Donal Logue — Stage Harvey