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- [singing] I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. Oh so pretty and whitty and... gay.
- Five hour drive to find out mommy had a jelly bean removed from her nose... Glad I missed work. Can we eat now?
- Look everybody, Pana Banana's got a heinie! He's got a heinie!
- I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling-out-my-penis-in-front-of-you-ophobe.
- I want to have children with you! Children! With your eyes and my... last name! That's all I want.
- Why couldn't you have told her something else? I was at the bank! I was at the store! I ate bad guacamole and couldn't stop shitting! Any of those things would have been fine!
- I'm feeling very angry right now, because I have only one bed and no couch.
- Flirting is cheating's ugly cousin Buddy, I am not a cheater.
Dr Buddy Rydell
- "There are two kinds of angry people: explosive and implosive. Explosive is the kind of Individual that you see screaming at the cashier for not taking their coupon. Implosive, is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and finally shoots everyone in the store. You are the cashier."
- Dave Buznik: Oh my goodness, Bobby Knight. You're in this class also?
- Bobby Knight: Yeah its my first day.
- Dave Buznik: Working on the anger problem?
- Bobby Knight: Anger? Isn't this sexaholics anonymous?
- Dave Buznik: Oo, noo.. I think that's down the hall...
- Bobby Knight: [Throws down his book in anger] Well, to hell with this! I'm goin' home!
- Dr Buddy Rydell: [watching a movie, laughing] OH, HEY! I'M WETTIN MY JOCKIES HERE! [continues laughing] You gotta get a load of this, keed. I mean, you like comedies? Huh?
- Dave Buznik: Yeah, I just haven't been getting much sleep lately and I'd like to get some.
- Dr Buddy Rydell: Oh, hey, hey. [pause, watches movie] Take a look at this actress here. What is your position on, uh, breast implants?
- [disturbs people on plane]
- Dave Busnik: You know, I could just watch the movie with ya. [to flight attendant] Excuse me, could I get a headset?
- Flight Attendant: Certainly.
- [Linda revealed Buddy's involvement with his friends who happened to be a flight attendant, a male passenger and Judge Daniels as part of his unconventional and inventive therapy to help Dave deal with his anger better. There was still a question that he had left unanswered, involving the Air Marshall who previously tasered him and if he was involved with Buddy.]
- Dave Buznik: What about the Air Marshall who tasered me? Was he involved too?
- Linda: No, he was just having a bad day.
- [Flashback shows the air Marshall frustrated for being seated between two fat people sleeping in between him]
- Air Marshall: Son of a bitch!
- Feel the love
- Let the healing begin
- Adam Sandler as David "Dave" Buznik
- Jonathan Osser as Young Dave Buznik
- Jack Nicholson as Dr. Buddy Rydell
- Marisa Tomei as Linda
- Luis Guzmán as Lou
- Jonathan Loughran as Nate
- Kurt Fuller as Frank Head
- Krista Allen as Stacy