Animal Crackers (1930 film)

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Animal Crackers is a 1930 film in which mayhem and zaniness ensue when a valuable painting goes missing during a party in honor of famed African explorer Captain Spaulding.

Directed by Victor Heerman. Adapted from the play written by George S. Kaufman, Morrie Ryskind, Bert Kalmar, and Harry Ruby.
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Dialogue[edit]

Guests: Hooray for Captain Spaulding, the African explorer!
Spaulding: Did someone call me schnorrer?
Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray!

Guests: He put all his reliance
In courage and defiance
And risked his life for science.
Spaulding: Hey, hey!
Mrs. Rittenhouse: He is the only white man who covered every acre...
Spaulding: I think I'll try and make her...
Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray!

Mrs. Rittenhouse: You are one of the musicians, but you were not due until tomorrow.
Ravelli: Couldn't come tomorrow, that's too quick.
Spaulding: Say, you're lucky he didn't come yesterday.
Ravelli: We were busy yesterday. But we charge just the same.
Spaulding: This is better than exploring. What do you fellas get an hour?
Ravelli: Oh, for playing, we get ten dollars an hour.
Spaulding: I see. What do you get for not playing?
Ravelli: Twelve dollars an hour.
Spaulding: Well, clip me off a piece of that.
Ravelli: Now for rehearsing, we make special rate: that's'a fifteen dollars an hour.
Spaulding: That's for rehearsing?
Ravelli: That's for rehearsing.
Spaulding: And what do you get for not rehearsing?
Ravelli: You couldn't afford it. You see, if we don't rehearse, we don't play. And if we don't play [snaps fingers], that runs into money.
Spaulding: How much would you want to run into an open manhole?
Ravelli: Just the cover charge. [Laughs with Mrs. Rittenhouse.]
Spaulding: Well, drop in some time.
Ravelli: Sewer.
Spaulding: Well, we cleaned that up pretty well.
Ravelli: Well, let's see how we stand.
Spaulding: Flat-footed.
Ravelli: Yesterday, we didn't come. [to Mrs. Rittenhouse] You remember, yesterday, we didn't come.
Spaulding: Oh, I remember.
Ravelli: Yeah, that's three hundred dollars.
Spaulding: Yesterday, you didn't come, that's three hundred dollars.
Ravelli: Yes, that's three hundred dollars.
Spaulding: Well, that's reasonable, I can see that all right.
Ravelli: Now today, we did come. That's, uh...
Spaulding: That's a hundred you owe us.
Ravelli: Hey, I bet I'm gonna lose on the deal. Tomorrow, we leave. That's worth about...
Spaulding: A million dollars.
Ravelli: Yeah, that's all right for me, but I gotta partner.
Spaulding: A partner?!
Hives: (announcing) The Professor!

[the paintings have all been recovered]
Hennessy: [to the Professor] You'd better come with me, young fellow!
Spaulding: Don't take him away, Officer! He returned the paintings. [the Professor shakes Spaulding's hand] Pardon me, my name is Spaulding, and I've always wanted to meet you.
Hennessy: ...All right. I'll let him go this time. [the Professor shakes his hand] But I want to give you some advice: you're running around with the wrong kind of people! Do you want to be a crook? [the Professor grins and nods, startling Hennesy; Ravelli and Spaulding both roll their eyes] Now, why don't you go home?
Ravelli: He's got no home.
Hennessy: Go home for a few nights, and stay home. [the Professor nods, removing his left hand from his belt and letting it hang, Hennessy claps him on the right shoulder gently] Don't you know your poor old mother sits there-
[he is interrupted by clanging noises as stolen silverware falls from the Professor's sleeve]
Hennessy: Sits there, night af- [more silverware] Night after night. [more silverware] Waiting to hear your steps on the stairs.
Ravelli: He's got no stairs.
Hennessy: And I can see a little light, burn- [more silverware] Burning in the window.
Spaulding: No you can't, the gas company turned it off.
Hennessy: Now, what I'm telling you is for your own good- [more silverware] And if you listen to me- [more silverware] You can't go wrong- [he is cut off completely by a crash as a particularly large bunch of silverware hits the floor]
Spaulding: This may go on for years.
Hennessy: Now, there's just one th- [He is once again cut off by the silverware]
Spaulding: I can't understand what's delaying that coffeepot. [the Professor shifts his arm, and a coffeepot falls out of his sleeve] Where's the cream?
Hennessy: Well, you've certainly surprised me!
Spaulding: Me too; I thought he had more than that!

External links[edit]

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