Animal Crackers (1930 film)
- Directed by Victor Heerman. Adapted from the play written by George S. Kaufman, Morrie Ryskind, Bert Kalmar, and Harry Ruby.
- [to Mrs. Rittenhouse] Why, you're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, and that's not saying much for you.
- [singing] Hello, I must be going.
I cannot stay, I came to say,
I must be going.
I'm glad I came, but just the same
I must be going.
- [to audience] Pardon me while I have a strange interlude. Why, you couple of baboons! What makes you think I'd marry either one of you! Strange how the wind blows tonight. It has a tintity voice, reminds me of poor old Moslin. How happy I could be with either of these two if both of them just went away!
- One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know. Then we tried to remove the tusks. The tusks. That's not so easy to say, tusks. You try that some time...As I say, we tried to remove the tusks, but they were embedded in so firmly that we couldn't budge them. Of course, in Alabama, the Tusk-a-loosa. But, uh, that's entirely ir-elephant to what I was talking about. We took some pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. But we're going back again in a couple of weeks.
- Bolded portion ranked #53 in the American Film Institute's list of the top 100 movie quotations in American cinema.
- I don't like Junior crossing the tracks on his way to the reform school. I don't like Junior at all, as a matter of fact.
- Signor Ravelli's first selection will be "Somewhere My Love Lies Sleeping", with a male chorus.
- Take the Professor's hat and coat and send for the fumigators.
- You ought to brush up your Greek, Jamison. Well, get a Greek and brush up on him.
- You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters.
- Signor Emanuel Ravelli: [about playing bridge] How do you want to play...honest?
- Guests: Hooray for Captain Spaulding, the African explorer!
- Spaulding: Did someone call me schnorrer?
- Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray!
- Guests: He put all his reliance
In courage and defiance
And risked his life for science.
- Spaulding: Hey, hey!
- Mrs. Rittenhouse: He is the only white man who covered every acre...
- Spaulding: I think I'll try and make her...
- Guests: Hooray, hooray, hooray!
[the paintings have all been recovered]
- Hennessy: (to the Professor) You'd better come with me, young fellow!
- Spaulding: Don't take him away, Officer! He returned the paintings. (the Professor shakes Spaulding's hand) Pardon me, my name is Spaulding, and I've always wanted to meet you.
- Hennessy: ...All right. I'll let him go this time. (the Professor shakes his hand) But I want to give you some advice: you're running around with the wrong kind of people! Do you want to be a crook? (the Professor grins and nods, startling Hennesy; Ravelli and Spaulding both roll their eyes) Now, why don't you go home?
- Ravelli: He's got no home.
- Hennessy: Go home for a few nights, and stay home. (the Professor nods, removing his left hand from his belt and letting it hang, Hennessy claps him on the right shoulder gently) Don't you know your poor old mother sits there-
[he is interrupted by clanging noises as stolen silverware falls from the Professor's left sleeve; the Professor looks up, as if feigning that it fell from the ceiling, then quickly adopts a blank expression as it continues to fall from his sleeve, incriminating him. Hennessy continues to shake the Professor's right shoulder as he speaks, though he is interrupted repeatedly by clanging silverware as the guests watch in amazement]
- Hennessy: Sits there, night af- (more silverware) Night after night. (more silverware) Waiting to hear your steps on the stairs.
- Ravelli: He's got no stairs.
- Hennessy: And I can see a little light, burn- (more silverware) Burning in the window.
- Spaulding: No you can't, the gas company turned it off.
- Hennessy: Now, what I'm telling you is for your own good- (more silverware) And if you listen to me- (more silverware) You can't go wrong- (he is cut off completely by a crash as a particularly large bunch of silverware hits the floor)
- Spaulding: (observing the silverware) This may go on for years.
- Hennessy: Now, there's just one th- (He is once again cut off by the silverware; Mrs. Rittenhouse, Mrs. Whitehead and Hives roll their eyes in exasperation)
- Spaulding: I can't understand what's delaying that coffeepot. (the Professor shifts his arm, and a coffeepot falls out of his sleeve) Where's the cream?
- Hennessy: (gives the Professor a stern look) Well, you've certainly surprised me!
- Spaulding: Me too; I thought he had more than that!
- Groucho Marx - Captain Jeffrey T. Spaulding
- Harpo Marx - The Professor
- Chico Marx - Signor Emanuel Ravelli
- Zeppo Marx - Horatio Jamison
- Lillian Roth - Arabella Rittenhouse
- Margaret Dumont - Mrs. Rittenhouse
- Louis Sorin - Roscoe W. Chandler
- Hal Thompson - John Parker
- Margaret Irving - Mrs. Whitehead
- Kathryn Reece - Grace Carpenter
- Robert Greig - Hives, the Butler
- Edward Metcalf - Inspector Hennessy