Animalympics

Animalympics is a 1980 animated television film produced by Lisberger Studios and released by Warner Bros. Originally commissioned by the NBC network as two separate specials, it spoofs the Summer and Winter Olympic Games and features the voices of Billy Crystal, Gilda Radner, Harry Shearer and Michael Fremer.

Dialogue

Rugs Turkell: I'm Rugs Turkell and I'll be bringing you me...

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[The boxing event is about to start. Turkell has Joey Gongolong, a kangaroo with similarities to Muhammad Ali, for an interview]

Rugs Turkell: With me, one of the greatest fighters of this or any other time, Joey Gongolong. [to Gongolong, who's sparring with the camera] Champ, shortly you'll be facing the toughest challenge of your long and, I might add, controversial fighting career: the Eurasian, Janos Brushteckel. Champ, take a look at the monitor and feel free, as I'm sure you do, to comment.

[Brushteckel, a bull, appears on screen, already looking dazed]

Joey Gongolong: That face is almost as ugly as yours, Rugs. He's too ugly to be champ!

Rugs Turkell: [as a shot of Brushteckel in training appears] True enough. But I've seen that vicious left hook of his, and Champ, you'd better stop fooling around, and take this challenger seriously.

Joey Gongolong: Why you talkin' 'bout takin' me seriously? I did everythin' I could t'get ready for this fight.

[A flashback to Gongolong's training ensues as he describes it in voiceover]

Joey Gongolong: The up 'n down on the hardwood floors... didn't eat no meat, it lays in your stomach, makes ya fat and lazy and heavy. [grimaces at the single pea he's been served instead] Everytime in my career, you're on my back! I've trained hard for this Bussmeckel, Bussbeckel, Bussteckel - I can't even pronounce his name, that's why I'm gonna whip him so bad, he's gonna *look* like his last name sounds. [the flashback ripples back to the interview] I'm the greatest animal champion of all time!

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René Fromage: [voiceover] I am in training, *always*. In my life, there is no time for women.

[Cut to a picture of Fromage; gradually pull back to show he is being chased by an amorous cow. Voiceover continues]

René Fromage: It is all, "run-run-run." Because of this, I am "chaste".

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Keen Hacksaw: 4.5. Is that her score or the reading on the Ritcher scale?

Voice cast

• Gilda Radner as Barbra Warblers / Brenda Springer / Cora Lee Perrier / Tatyana Tushenko / Dorrie Turnell / The Contessa
• Billy Crystal as Rugs Turkell / Joey Gongolong / Art Antica / Bruce Kwakimoto
• Harry Shearer as Keen Hacksaw / Mayor of Animalympic Island / Burnt Woody / Mark Spritz
• Michael Fremer as Henry Hummel / René Fromage / Kit Mambo / Bolt Jenkins / Kurt Wuffner / Dean Wilson / Mele / Count Maurice Boar-Deaux / Jackie Fuelit / Bear McLane / Guy Lafluke / Bjorn Freeborg / Mamo Ululu