Around the World in 80 Days (2004 film)

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Around the World in 80 Days is a 2004 film about a bet that has a British inventor, a Chinese thief, and a French artist on a worldwide adventure to circumnavigate the world in 80 days.

Directed by Frank Coraci. Written by David N. Titcher, David Benullo, and David Goldstein, based on the novel by Jules Verne.
Let your imagination soar.

Phileas Fogg[edit]

  • Twenty-six minutes ago, a ship left Dover for Paris. From there, the thief takes the Orient Express, where he transfers to a steamer from Istanbul to India. In little over a month, that man could be in China.
  • This is what happens when you leave home. You meet... people!
  • Well, rules are meant to be broken... or... stabbed with spikey shoes.
  • [about Passepartout hitting buildings and statues of Paris while hanging on the rope of the balloon] Very impressive. I'd have let go by now.
  • [after drinking too much Chinese liquor] I am going to be abominably ill.
  • I travelled the world for inspiration, and found it in a man who lives what he dreams.
  • I am a British Citizen, I have nothing to fear! [Gunshot goes off in background] Except bullets.
  • Here comes Mr. Grumpy... and the Leather-ettes.

Lord Kelvin[edit]

  • And with this draft to develop new applications for copper wire, Dr Ramsey invented this. [displays a Slinky made of copper, then starts speaking with a dark voice] Needless to say, the Royal Academy of Science declared this crackpot "mentally incompetent" and he was duly dispatched to a lunatic asylum.
  • [referring to General Fang] A female General?! What sort of pathetic man takes orders from a woman? [The camera pans out to show a picture of Queen Victoria]
  • What's the point in hiring a corrupt inspector if he can't even abuse the law properly?!
  • Oh, boo-hoo! So what if I did try to kill Phileas Fogg? What are you gutless peons going to do about it?! I hold all the power! I run everything! So which of you half-wits is going to stop me? You?! You?! You?! [Little girl: "The Queen!"] The Queen?! [laughing] Oh, the Queen! That inbred, antiquated old cow! [as Queen Victoria arrives behind him, looking unamused] The only way she could stop me is if she sat on me! With her big, fat royal bottom! [laughs more, then stops nervously] She's behind me, isn't she?


Colonel Kitchener: It is...with great...distress...that Scotland Yard announces...that the Bank of England...has been robbed.
[cut to Lord Kelvin's office]
Kitchener: Sir, sir, I said "impregnable".
Kitchener: Please, not the quills!
[Kelvin starts attacking Kitchener with quills]
Lord Kelvin: LORD SALISBURY! Please contact General Fang and inform her: "No Buddha, no deal."
General Fang: [appearing in the door] To forego your obligations would be dishonourable, Lord Kelvin.
Lord Salisbury: A woman? In the Royal Academy?
General Fang: The Jade Buddha was successfully delivered by us to the Bank of England. What happens while it's in British hands-
Lord Kelvin: Is absolutely your concern. Colonel Kitchener, Chief of Scotland Yard, please inform Genera Fang what other items were stolen from the bank.
Kitchener: Nothing else.
Lord Kelvin: [walks up to Fang] Exactly. Seems your little land dispute has spilled over onto our noble shore. Until the Jade Buddha's back in my possession, you and your cause will receive no British military assistance whatsoever. Kitchener?
General Fang: [as she walks away] My agents will retrieve the Jade Buddha once again, Lord Kelvin. This time, do not let it slip through your fingers.

Colonel Kitchener: [marches into the room] Confound it! The b****y Bank of England is a madhouse!
Scientist #1: [whispers in Passepartout's ear] Rumour has it that it was a foreigner, an Asian chap.
Scientist #2: Yes, I heard it was a Chinese fellow and he acted alone.
[Passepartout whispers again.]
Lord Rhodes: Uh, no, actually, they say he was Norwegian.
[Passepartout whispers again.]
Scientist #3: In fact, it was a gang of elderly Norwegians.
Scientist #4: Yes, I heard from a very reliable source that it was a gang of red-headed elderly Norwegians with very tiny feet.
Phileas Fogg: Well, if you ask me, it's about time someone robbed that bank.
[Everyone gasps in anger.]
Phileas Fogg: Like this very institution, the Bank of England is outdated!
Lord Kelvin: As usual, Fogg, your contempt for tradition is appalling.
Phileas Fogg: You rest on your traditions if you prefer, but as with this bank robber, progress waits for no-one.
Lord Kelvin: Oh. So now you're an expert on the bank thief as well? Give us the benefit of your "ineffable wisdom", Fogg.
Phileas Fogg: [gets out his pocket watch] Twenty-six minutes ago, a ship left Dover for Paris. From there, the thief takes the Orient Express, where he transfers to a steamer from Istanbul to India. In little over a month, that man could be in China.
[Passepartout thinks for a moment]
Lord Salisbury: If we're to believe Fogg's "calculations", he will have circled the globe and returned to England in a fortnight!
[Everyone laughs, even Colonel Kitchener.]
Phileas Fogg: Actually, by my calculations, it would be closer to...exactly 80 days.
[Passepartout whispers in a scientist's ear, who passes it on, until it reaches Lord Kelvin.]
Lord Kelvin: Outstanding idea.
[Passepartout smiles.]
Lord Kelvin: Well then, Fogg, let's see you circumnavigate the world in 80 days.
Phileas Fogg: I...That would be a fruitless use of my time. I'm on the verge of...numerous, countless...scientific breakthroughs. [Turns to go]
Lord Kelvin: You coward! Admit it, it cannot be done.
Phileas Fogg: [stops and wheels round] It CAN! I can do it.
Lord Kelvin: A wager. £10,000!
Phileas Fogg: Unlike you and your colleagues, money does not inspire me.
Lord Kelvin: I believe every man has his price. Even you, oh noble Phileas Fogg. There must be something I could offer that would be worthy of your time.
Phileas Fogg: There is. Your position as head of the Royal Academy.
[Chattering begins]
Phileas Fogg: With the Queen's ear, I could lead Britain and the rest of the world into a new age of progress and discovery.
[Everyone begins laughing]
Lord Kelvin: Fair enough.
Lord Salisbury: What?
Lord Kelvin: I, Lord Kelvin, hereby vow to surrender my position as Minister of Science, to Phileas Fogg...if he can circumnavigate the globe... in no more than 80 days. But if he cannot, he must never set foot in the academy again, he must tear down that abhorrent eyesore he calls a laboratory, and he must swear... never to invent again.
[Phileas is taken aback by this vow, not knowing what to say]
Lord Kelvin: Just as I always suspected, Fogg. You promise so much, yet you deliver... oh, nothing!
[More laughter]
Phileas Fogg: [quietly] I'll take your wager.
[The room goes quiet]
Lord Kelvin: What did you say?
Phileas Fogg: I'll take your wager!
[Chattering again]
Lord Kelvin: Then it's done. A man who has never set foot out of England, circling the globe. This is going to be rather amusing!
Phileas Fogg: [roller-skates up to Kelvin] History won't remember your amusements, Lord Kelvin. But it'll be hard-pressed to forget the moment I'm standing on the very top step of the Royal Academy of Science...
[Big Ben strikes noon]
Phileas Fogg: the strike of noon...
[Passepartout smiles]
Phileas Fogg: ...after I, Phileas Fogg, have traveled around the world in 80 days!

Phileas Fogg: I risked everything, my entire life's work.
Passepartout: For something you believe in. Nothing could make more sense than that, sir.

[After Inspector Fix's failed first attempt to stop Fogg]
Lord Kelvin: Dang that nincompoop, Fix. What's the point in hiring a corrupt police officer if he can't even abuse the law properly?! Kitchener!
Colonel Kitchener: Yes, sir?
Lord Kelvin: Tell Inspector Fix to pack his bags, he's going on a little trip.

[Looking at paintings in an art school]
Phileas: That painting is highly inaccurate.
Monique: It's not supposed to be accurate. The artist views reality through imagination rather than simply recording it. It is called impressionism.
Phileas: Well, um, I'm not "impressed". Trees are not violet, grass is not charcoal, and a man cannot...
[He is silent for a moment, gazing at Monique's painting of a nude man beside a bird in the sky]
Monique: You feel something. You dream of flying. Or of naked men.
Phileas: Sometimes.
Monique: [smiling] Ah.
Phileas: [stammering] The flying! N-N-Not the men.

Phileas: [about the goat that ate his paper] Please keep that inconsiderate beast away from me! And refrain from ridiculous anecdotes.
Indian Child on the train: Why do you not like his story, Mr. Frog?
Phileas: It's Fogg. Phileas Fogg. How could a man learn to defend himself by watching animals behave like... animals?
Monique: It is famous legend.
Phileas: A ridiculous legend.
Monique: Most legends are born from truth.
Phileas: Yes. But all truths are born from facts. Solid, tangible facts that can be calculated and written down on paper.
Monique: And then eaten by a goat. [as all the children laugh]
Indian Child on the train: Mr. Feelsillious, when I tell the story of the man who circled the entire world in 80 days, would that not be a legend?
Phileas: [chagrined] Only if the man's name was Feelsillious Frog...
[The children laugh again]

Passepartout: Time to go. They seem to think we robbed the Bank of England.
Phileas: That's preposterous! This is merely a desperate attempt by Lord Kelvin to impede my journey! I am a British citizen, I have nothing to fear! [hears shots being fired] Except bullets.

[Monique, Phileas and Passepartout are disguised as women in India]
Phileas Fogg: I feel faint.
Monique La Roche: Phileas, women are not that weak.
Phileas Fogg: No, but I am.

Phileas: They'll check all trains heading east. Even if we could make it to the coast, we can't sail into Singapore or even Hong Kong, as they're both British colonies.
Monique: Does England own everything in Asia?
Passepartout: Not China. Not yet.

Lord Kelvin: What's this blocking my jade reserves? That will have to be demolished.
Lord Salisbury: But that is the Great Wall of China, sir!
Lord Kelvin: ...It's not that great.

Monique La Roche: [just after Philieas has discovered the truth and is leaving] Don't let him go. He'll be lost by midnight. Go.
Phileas Fogg: [outside, surrounded by thugs with swords to his neck as Passepartout finds him] More of your relatives, I suppose?

[A man is screaming in Chinese in the jail cell with Fogg, Passepartout and Monique who are also locked up]
Phillias Fogg: What's he saying?
Passepartout: He's saying "please let me go, I'm bored".
Phillias Fogg: Why is he in prison?
[Passepartout asks the man the question in Chinese, The man replies in Chinese]
Passepartout: Urinating in public.
Phillias Fogg: Charming. At least he had the decency to be forthcoming about it. Is there anything you've told me that's even remotely true?
Passepartout: I really can sing. [sings Frere Jacques]

Phileas Fogg: Alms? Alms for the poor?
San Francisco Hobo: Arms? You've already got arms. It's money you need.
Phileas Fogg: Wonderful; I can't even scrounge properly.

Passepartout: [in the warehouse, seeing the Statue of Liberty under construction] That's a big man.
Monique La Roche: It is a lady. A French lady.
Phileas Fogg: [turning to see General Fang and her henchmen] She looks like an evil Chinese warlord to me.
General Fang: Your journey has caused quite a stir, Mr. Fogg. But I'm afraid it ends here.
Passepartout: Leave them alone, Fang. This has nothing to do with them.
General Fang: On the contrary, Lau Xing. Lord Kelvin and I have made new arrangements to conquer Lanzhou. Unfortunately for Mr. Fogg, they entail his... permanent detour.

Lord Salisbury: It's Inspector Fix! My goodness! He made it round the world before Fogg!
Inspector Fix: [with a battle-weary voice] I came back from India the short way, you ninny.
Lord Kelvin: I take it you don't have Phileas Fogg in that valise?
[Inspector Fix shakes his head]
Lord Kelvin: A little Jade Buddha, perhaps?
[throws Inspector Fix out of the window with his luggage.]

Monique La Roche: I'm sorry, Phileas.
Phileas Fogg: Don't be, my cheri. I saw the world. I learnt of new cultures. I flew across an ocean. I wore women's clothing. [The crowd murmurs in amusement] Made a friend. [Passepartout smiles] Fell in love. [Monique smiles] Who cares if I lost a wager?
Queen Victoria: I do! I've got 20 quid riding on you!
Phileas Fogg: Your Majesty, it has gone 12 noon.
Queen Victoria: [smiling] Correct. Which gives you 24 hours remaining.
Monique La Roche: Could we have miscounted?
Passepartout: No. I moved Mr. Fogg's watch ahead one hour as we passed each time zone.
Phileas Fogg: The international date line. We set our watches forward at 24 time zones, so... here, it's still day 79.
Monique La Roche: So we've...
Phileas Fogg: [amazed and delighted] WE'VE WON!


External links[edit]