Bad Taste

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Bad Taste is a 1987 film about a small New Zealand village that is invaded by aliens in order to harvest human beings for their intergalactic fast food franchise, but who are repelled by a four-man paramilitary force.

Directed by Peter Jackson. Written by Ken Hammon, Tony Hiles, and Peter Jackson.
One thing the aliens hadn't counted on was Derek, and Dereks don't run! taglines


  • Stick all the bits of brain in a plastic bag, Barry.
  • Suck my spinning steel, shithead!
  • I'm a Derek and Dereks don't run!
  • Stay where you are then, and I'll give you an eye witness description of this, intergalactic wanker!
  • The headshot's the only true stopper.
  • What are you dirty hooers doing on my planet?
  • Well this sure has buggered your plans for conquering the world, eh? Hehe... my friend, the astro-bastard, time for talkies. By the time my colleagues get here I want to have you babbling in some extra-terrestrial language!
  • Eat lead sucker!
  • I'm coming to get you bastards. [laughs in a mad way]
  • I'm born again!


  • [after drop-kicking an alien's head out of a window] The old magic is still there.
  • The bastards have landed!
  • [after shooting the alien that was about to execute Giles in the head] I bet that cleared the sinuses.

Lord Crumb's Voice[edit]

  • That's the end of those weekend cowboys!
  • I'm sure you'll be pleased to be leaving this shitty planet!
  • Tomorrow we're having you for lunch!
  • I think the gruel is ready!
  • The sad news is that we will be heading back to nalak not with six of our co-workers in a state of permanent death. They died today, murdered by some real arseholes.
  • <after trying to fire on barry with an empty gun> Oh, sod it!


  • Barry: I think Derek's turned his toes up, guys.
  • Coldfinger: I think this is a job for real men!
  • Lord Crumb: [Sniffing on bowl of alien vomit produced by Robert] Mmmhh, exquisite bouquet, Robert!
  • Lord Crumb: [drinking bowl of alien vomit] Aren't I lucky, I got a chunky bit!


[barry getting chased by an alien wielding an axe]:
Derek: [on the radio] I think you better kill him Barry.
Barry: Jeez, he could be from the Ministry of Works or somthing.
Derek: Nah, he's moving too fast.

Barry: Why can't aliens be friendly?
Derek: There's no glowing fingers on these bastards. We've got a bunch of Extra-Terrestrial psychopaths on our hands. Like a... like a visit from a planet full of Charlie Mansons. They've wiped out a small town for starters, it's my guess they'll go onto something bigger next time. Christchurch, Wellington...
Barry: Auckland?
Derek: Yeah, well that wouldn't be so bad.

Frank: This isn't gonna be another false alarm like the Manor Street invasion over there, is it?
Derek: Well, how do you explain the disappearance of an entire township, Frank? Oh! The Kiwi Jonestown, of course, that's it! Drinking beer laced with cyanide from little polystyrene cups.

Frank: Well, I guess we'll have to issue a gun to Ozzy.
Barry: Yeah, but don't forget about his personality disorder.

Barry: What are we gonna do if we're spotted, Frank?
Frank: Well... I guess we shoot the bastards.

Frank: Just remember, we're only authorized to use violence when protecting the planet.
Barry: And the moon.
Frank: Yeah, and the moon.

[after frank had to drink the "gruel"]
Frank: oh christ, you'll never believe what i had to do!
Ozzy: umm... did you have to drink some chuck?


  • One thing the aliens hadn't counted on was Derek, and Dereks don't run!
  • Watch out Aliens... ... here comes Derek!
  • The Bastards Have Landed!
  • Crumb's Crunchy Delights.
  • Human meat for intergalactic hamburgers


  • Terry Potter - Ozzy/3rd Class Alien
  • Pete O'Herne - Barry/3rd Class Alien
  • Craig Smith - Giles/3rd Class Alien
  • Mike Minett - Frank/3rd Class Alien
  • Peter Jackson - Derek/Robert
  • Doug Wren - Lord Crumb
  • Dean Lawrie - Lord Crumb SPFX Double/3rd Class Alien
  • Peter Vere-Jones - Lord Crumb's Voice

External links[edit]

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