Batman and Harley Quinn
Batman and Harley Quinn is a 2017 American animated superhero film produced by Warner Bros. Animation and distributed by Warner Bros. Home Entertainment. It is the twenty-ninth film in the DC Universe Animated Original Movies series, and is directed by Sam Liu and written by Jim Krieg and Bruce Timm, who has also worked on Batman: The Animated Series. It premiered on July 21, 2017 at San Diego Comic-Con and was released into participating theaters for one night only on August 14, 2017.
Dialogue
[edit]- Batman: This is Jason Woodrue, aka Floronic Man.
- Nightwing: Terrific. Poison Ivy is teaming up with Jason Woodrue. We're in for a ride.
- Harley Quinn: [to Nightwing who she has strapped to her bed] Hey, Nightwing. Is it true you used to be Robin? Huh, ain't that a kick in the pants, little boy wonder all grown up?
- [thinks for a moment then smiles slyly]
- Nightwing: Okay, now, don't be getting any funny ideas?
- Harley Quinn: Too late! [turns off the lights] It's funny I always kinda thought you and Batman didn't like girls.
- Nightwing: Wait, what?
- Harley Quinn: You know, that book with the headlights and eyeball gouging, I had to write a paper about it back in college, got a B minus [climbs into bed with him while in her bra and panties]
- Nightwing: Look, Harley. I have a...
- Harley Quinn: [interrupting him] Pretty lonely these last few months, if you know what I mean? You don't meet a lot of likely prospects at Super Babes, I'm kinda choosy.
- Nightwing: I'm not saying I don't want to, 'cuz that could be nice, all sorts of wrong but nice, right now I just really need to find Poison... [Harley Quinn cups her hand over his mouth]
- Harley Quinn: Shhh, face it sugar. I got something you want and you sure a shootin' have something I want, so be a good boy, and maybe Mama will give you a cookie.
- Nightwing: The things I do for Gotham. [smiles]
- Harley Quinn: I'm taking that as a yes. [kisses him]
- Batman: Pull a stupid stunt like that again, and I'm dumping you off at the nearest police station.
- Harley Quinn: Oh, big whoop. [imitates Batman] "You're living under my roof. You play by my rules," is that it?! [to Batman] Newsflash, gruesome. You ain't my Dad!
- Batman: This isn't a game, Quinn. I need you to stay focused on the job at hand.
- Harley Quinn: Focus, schmocus! You know, I'm starting to rethink this whole deal. Here I am, helping you guys out, pro bono, I might add, and you gotta go and get all mega control-freaky on me. [imitates Batman] "Do this. Don't do that! Sit up straight. Brush after every meal. Don't bite your toenails. Keep your knees together when you're wearing a dress."
- Batman: Quinn, there are LIVES at stake!
- Harley Quinn: Oh, my God! Yeah, yeah, the whole world's gonna plotz. I get it, I get it. You think I'm just some dizzy airhead that don't know jack. Do you know what I am?
- Floronic Man: [the scene jumps from Harley Quinn kissing Nightwing to Poison Ivy kissing Dr. Goldblum] That's disgusting, it's an abomination!
- Poison Ivy: You think I like swapping spit with this geezer every six hours? If you got a better way to keep him under our control, I'm all ears
- Floronic Man: There's always torture.
- Poison Ivy: I don't torture.
- Floronic Man: There's 7 billion meat bags who infest this world would probably consider our plans for them torture, or at least cruel and inhumane.
- Poison Ivy: Our plans are for the improvement of every organism on Earth, the very definition of humane.
- Floronic Man: [scoffs] "Humane". What an ironic word coined by a species completely devoid of compassion for any other lifeforms, or each other, for that matter
- Nightwing: [after Batman finds him in bed with Harley Quinn] I was, uh, I was just about to call you.
- [Batman glances at the floor seeing a pile of Harley's clothes and underwear then sees that Nightwing had been strapped to the bed then gives him a dirty look]
- Harley Quinn: [to Nightwing] Meet you at the car. [walks away happily humming to herself]
- Batman: Did you get what you needed?
- Nightwing: [smiles while rubbing his head nervously] Well, yeah... Ivy's whereabouts of course that's what you meant, no not yet. [Batman leaves giving him a disappointed look] Like you never made out with a super villain.
- Poison Ivy: [about people] They all talk about climate change, but have they actually changed anything?
- Floronic Man: Indeed they have. They've doubled their outcome of greenhouse gasses, increased the rate of deforestation, ravaged the planet. You said it yourself, Pamela, and I quote: "Humans simply will not give a crap unless we FORCE them to". Well, once our virus is activated, every single person on this planet will have a vested interest... in going green.
[Batman, Nightwing and Harley Quinn get inside Floronic Man's laboratory.]
- Nightwing: I said it last time. Your turn.
- Batman: It's over, Ivy.
- Poison Ivy: Harley?
- Harley Quinn: Hiya, Ives!
- Poison Ivy: You're with him?! Oh, Harls!
- Harley Quinn: Come on, Pammy, what are you doing? You're really gonna change us all into plants? You know I don't look good in green!
- Poison Ivy: I'm sorry, Harley, but there is no other way. Humankind have had their chance.
- Batman: [to Ivy] And you've had yours!
- Harley Quinn: [shouting] Ives! You can't leave me here, Pammy. You know my skin. I burn easy.
- Poison Ivy: [to Harley] I thought we were friends!
- Harley Quinn: Ives, friends don't let friends kill seven billion people. Uh-oh!
- Harley Quinn: My God, Pammy. You haven't even tested it yet, have you? Have you? Batman said that if you get just one teensy-weensy thing wrong, you could wind up killing everything on the planet. Everything, Pammy. Plants, people, animals... everything.
- Poison Ivy: It doesn't matter. Earth will die, anyway, if I don't act. [picks up a vial] I'm sorry, Harley, but I have to roll these dice.
- Harley Quinn: You're gonna make me do it, aren't you? Well, when this is all over, just remember... I gave you a chance.
- Poison Ivy: [turns to Harley Quinn] What are you - no!
- Harley Quinn: [pulls off her fool's cap and wipes off her face paint] That's right, sweetie. The nuclear option!
- Poison Ivy: You promised me you'd never - [Harley looks up at her with sad puppy dog eyes] Harley, I'm warning you! [Tears begin to well in Harley's eyes] Don't you dare! [Tears stream down Harley's face. Soon, Ivy begins to cry, tossing aside the vial and hugging Harley] I hate you so much!
- Harley Quinn: [hugs Ivy] Works every time. Phew!
- Harley Quinn: [smiling] Get him, Ives!
- Harley Quinn: Ives! [to Floronic Man] Okay, fugly! You just bought yourself a first-class beating.
Cast
[edit]- Kevin Conroy as Batman / Bruce Wayne
- Melissa Rauch as Harley Quinn / Dr. Harleen Quinzel
- Loren Lester as Nightwing / Dick Grayson
- Paget Brewster as Poison Ivy / Pamela Isley
- Kevin Michael Richardson as Floronic Man / Jason Woodrue
- John DiMaggio as Swamp Thing / Alec Holland, Sarge Steel
- Eric Bauza as Wesley
- Robin Atkin Downes as Charles "Rhino" Daily
- Trevor Devall as Bobby Liebowitz
- Rob Paulsen as Dr. Harold Goldblum, Min & Max
- Mindy Sterling as Project Supervisor
- Bruce Timm as Booster Gold / Michael J. Carter
