Battlefield Earth (also referred to as Battlefield Earth: A Saga of the Year 3000) is a 2000 American dystopian science fiction action film about an Earth that has been under the rule of the alien Psychlos for 1,000 years and tells the story of the rebellion that develops when the Psychlos attempt to use the surviving humans as gold miners. The film is considered one of the worst movies of all time.
- Directed by Roger Christian. Written by Corey Mandell and J. D. Shapiro, based on the first half of L. Ron Hubbard's 1982 novel of the same name.
- While you were still learning how to spell your name, I was being trained to conquer galaxies!
- Attention. This is Terl, your chief of security. Exterminate all man-animals at will, and happy hunting!
- You are out of your skull bone if you think that I am going to write on the report "shot by man-animal" as the cause of the death unless I see it!
- Crap-lousy ceiling! I thought I told to get some man-animals in here and fix it.
- You... Hungry, little fella? Want some rat? It's good!
- Stupid humans.
- Who could it be? It's like I'm being given a test! How about... [slams a severed head on the table] your friendly neighborhood barkeep?
- I am going to make you as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango.
- Terl: It is a pleasure to see you, your excellency, and I would be honored to expedite your clearance through security.
- Zete: Please, call me Zete. Does all of Earth look like this?
- Terl: Oh, I'm afraid so, sir.
- Zete: Pathetic. All the green and the blue sky. They told me this planet was ugly, but this has got to be one of the ugliest crap holes in the entire universe.
- Terl: I couldn't agree with you more.
- Zete: I hate these puny undersized planets. The gravity is so... different.
- Terl: Well, one does get used to it.
- Zete: And the human animals, grossly undersized.
- Ker: They don't make very good eating, your excellency.
- Zete: [looking at an overhead photo of a car] What is this species?
- Terl: Well, according to the Clinko historians, the species is called "dog."
- Zete: Dog?
- Terl: Yes.
- Zete: Obviously the superior race, having the man-animal chauffeur it around.
- Zete: Home office is well aware of your academic achievements and obvious talents. That's why we decided not to keep you here for another 5 cycles
- Terl: It's a joke, oh thank you sir. I don't know if I could have kept my sanity being here another 5 cycles.
- Zete: We've decided to keep you here another 50 cycles... with endless options for renewal. [laughs maniacally]
- Terl: Ker, I'd like you to meet Chirk.
- [Ker grunts appreciatively]
- Terl: She's, um... she's, um...
- Chirk: His soon-to-be newly acquired secretary.
- Terl: Yes.
- Ker: [eagerly] Really?
- Terl: [quietly, to Ker] She's stupid enough not to be a menace, good-looking enough to be decorative; she gets drunk with economical speed...and has other advantages.
- [Chirk extends her very long tongue]
- Ker: Ooh. I can see that.
- Chrissy: What if he's not dead?
- Parson Staffer: Hope is an admirable quality, but foolish isn't.
- Battlefield Earth has the feel of a movie made by a precocious 8-year-old with access to too many leftover costumes from Clan of the Cave Bear and Star Trek: The Next Generation."
- Arne Johnson, Citysearch
- The plot depends on the most ludicrous decisions and senseless actions ever made by a thinking race."
- Sean Axmaker, Seattle Post-Intelligencer
- ...a picture that will be hailed without controversy as the worst of its kind ever made."
- David Edelstein, Slate
- ...like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time... something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies.
- ...breathtakingly awful in concept and execution... trite, befogged and dorky... glowering, humorless, clumsily rendered."
- Rita Kempley, Washington Post
- ...an authentic howler of the Big Dumb and Loud school..."
- Ron Weiskind, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette
- ...the greatest White Zombie-GWAR music video ever... If filmmaking has ever been less thrilling and more disengaging, I'd like to see it.
- Wesley Morris, San Francisco Examiner
- ...even by Hollywood's titanic standards, 'Battlefield Earth' stands out as an example of blind hubris and folly... how could such a movie happen?
- Sharon Waxman, Washington Post
- Prepare For Battle
- Take Back The Planet
- Prepare to go Psychlo
- On May 12, We Fight Back.
- John Travolta - Terl
- Barry Pepper - Jonnie Goodboy Tyler
- Forest Whitaker as Ker
- Kim Coates - Carlo
- Sabine Karesenti - Chrissy
- Richard Tyson - Robert the Fox
- Kelly Preston - Chirk
- Michael MacRae - District Manager Zete
- Shaun Austin-Olsen - Planetship Numph
- Tim Post - the Assistant Planetship
- Michael Byrne - Parson staffer
- Christian Tessier as Mickey
- Sylvain Landry as Sammy
- Earl Paskto as the Bartender
- Noël Burton - the Clinko Learning instructor