Battletoads

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Battletoads is a beat 'em up video game featuring three anthropomorphic toads named after skin conditions (Rash, Zitz and Pimple).

Battletoads (NES)[edit]

Level 1[edit]

Professor T. Bird

  • "I've located the Garagantua, 'toads! She's hidden beneath the planet's surface!"
  • "Get ready, toads! Down to the surface on the turbo-cables!"
  • "Keep it movin' along the surface, 'toad! And watch out for the Psyko-Pigs!"

Level 2[edit]

Dark Queen

  • "So, hookbill, your frogs did well! But let us see how they do against my birds of prey – pray the birds don't get them! Ha-ha-ha-ha...!"
  • "Arrrrgh! You've made porkmeat out of my Psyko-Pigs!"
  • "They'll never make it against my Saturn Toadtraps, you feathered freak!"

Professor T. Bird

  • "Let's get mad, bad and crazy, 'toads! Use the turbo-cables to tackle that chasm!"
  • "Watch out, 'toads! There's bound to be a whole toad-load of trouble down in that crater!"

Level 3[edit]

Dark Queen

  • "Don't get too cocky, snotskins – there's plenty more where that came from!"

Professor T. Bird

  • "Sensors indicate Speed Bikes dead ahead! Go get 'em, 'toads!"
  • "It's the need-to-speed from now on, 'toads!"

Level 4[edit]

Dark Queen

  • "So the Rat Rockets didn't get you, huh! Well, the Ice Spikes certainly will!"
  • "You annoying frogs! I'll have you chopped up into a gourmet lunch and the pieces deep-frozen for eternity!"

Professor T. Bird

  • "Let's break the ice, 'toads! It's party time!"

Level 5[edit]

Dark Queen

  • "You know what they say, don't you – out of the frying pan and into the surf!"

Professor T. Bird

  • "Surf's up, 'toads! Let's kick those Spaceboards into action!"

Level 6[edit]

Dark Queen

  • "Is it true that the toad's greatest enemy is the snake? Well, we'll soon see! Ha-ha-ha-ha...!"
  • "Give it up, toadies! You'll never make it past the giant snakes!"
  • "Take it from me, swampbreath, you won't be going any further!"

Professor T. Bird

  • "Time to grab a piece of tail, 'toads – and hang on tight!"

Level 7[edit]

Dark Queen

  • "So, you think you're hot, huh, 'toads!? Well, it looks like it's going to get hotter down there – much hotter!"

Professor T. Bird

  • "Looks like the Dark Queen's got a warm reception planned for the Battletoads!"

Level 11[edit]

Dark Queen

  • "Curse your green hides! You've done it again!"
  • "Up and down and around they go, but where they fry, only I can know!"

Professor T. Bird

  • "Hold on tight and get ready for a fight! The Battletoads are outasight!"

Level 12[edit]

Dark Queen

  • "Welcome to the Revolution, Battlejerks! This is where you lose your heads!"
  • "Top of the world, Toadies! Come and get me if you dare!"

Professor T. Bird

  • "Things are lookin' up from here on, 'toads! And I do mean up!"
  • "Well, it's one small step for a 'Toad, one giant leap for toadkind! Go for it, guys!"
  • "Let's make like the green machine, guys, and motor on up to the top of the tower!"
  • "Holy Hip-hop, 'Toads! The Dark Queen's at the top of the tower just waiting to be creamed!"

Game Over[edit]

Professor T. Bird (continuing after game over)

  • "Whaddya' mean 'bad scene'? I'll give ya' bad scene if you don't get back here with Pimple and Angelica!"
  • "Got too tough for you, huh? A few pigs and monsters and you guys crash and burn!"
  • "I haven't seen such a dismal failure since the last time you failed!"
  • "Whaddya' mean things got too hot for you? Get back here, and I'll warm up your milk for you, cry-babies!"

Dark Queen

  • "Ha! Just as I predicted. A complete and utter victory for the home side, and a hopeless failure for the beak and his quaggy croakers! This domain belongs to me! Ha-ha-ha-ha...!"
  • "Was that really the best you can do! Mmmm! I wonder what roast vulture and frogs' legs taste like!? Mmm!...Chomp!...Crunch! Chew! They...Mmmm...taste...Mm-hmm-good..."
  • "Ha-ha-ha-ha...! Care to try your luck again? - 'Cuz it's only luck that got you this far, swampbreath!"

End of game[edit]

Dark Queen

  • "I guess you slippery suckers think you're pretty hot stuff, huh? Well, you don't cheat the Dark Lady that easily! Till next time, Cattle Loads!"
  • "What?! I lost! This can't be! I'm the Dark Queen! Wrong is better than right, dark is stronger than light! Grrrr! I hate you, Battletoads! I'm outta here!"
  • "No! This can't be true! My entire defense system, beaten by a couple of mucus-lobbing slime-jackets! Better disappear, real quick, before something really nasty happens! Adios, Fountain Freaks!"

Professor T. Bird

  • "Wow! You guys oughta bottle that skill and charisma – you'll make a fortune!"
  • "Whoo! Alright guys! There's nothin' like the sweet smell of success to clear out those clogged sinuses!"
  • "Okay, let's break out the sodas and junk-food – It's party time!"

External links[edit]

Wikipedia
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