Better Than Chocolate

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Better Than Chocolate is a 1999 Canadian romance/comedy about a lesbian couple who quickly develop an intense romance and move in together. However when one's mother and brother come to stay she is forced to decide between living in secret or revealing who she really is.

Directed by Anne Wheeler. Written by Peggy Thompson.


  • I read a study and after the age of forty a woman's chances of having sex are diminished by eighty percent. So, after fifty, God help you. And since I probably won't be having sex again, chocolate is the only pleasure left for me.


  • You're not bisexual, Carla — you're omnisexual! You're like that tornado in the Wizard of Oz, sweeping up everything in your path.


  • Customs held up another order of books at the border. They're claiming the books are pornographic… hello? Which they aren't. Well, maybe Butches in Chains is, but so what?
  • Ouch, it's the plight of the bisexual. Gay girls won't play with you.


  • Of course it's obscene! That's the point!


  • Sometimes you have this bubbling up feeling, this certain sort of rage.


Tony: That's funny… Get out!
Kim: I am out.

[Maggie and Tony are washing the sidewalk in front of 10% Books.]
Religious Zealot: Jesus loves you!
Maggie: Thank you! Can you still read "Die, dyke, die!" or do you think I've finally gotten it all off?
[Religious Zealot rushes off.]

Mr. Marcus: The books have been classified as obscene and will not be allowed through the border. Now, if I can just get you to sign here.
Frances: Little Red Riding Hood is obscene?
Mr. Marcus: Well, we, we thought it was something else.

Frances: Seriously, Mr. Marcus, the Supreme Court has declared that anal sex is to gay male sex what Mozart is to classical music.
Mr. Marcus: Miss Turner, we are not here to discuss classical music. I myself am a huge Mozart fan, but…
Frances: Look, the fucking Supreme Court has declared this natural. It is not obscene.
Mr. Marcus: In case you haven't noticed this is not the Supreme Court. We're here in Customs and I have a job to do.
Frances: We're just following orders, are we? Asshole.
Mr. Marcus: From your perspective, that must be a compliment of Mozartian proportions.

[Frances is about to attack the homophobic customs official. Security guard Bernice steps in.]
Bernice: Do we have a problem in here?
Frances: Bernice? Oh my god, I haven't seen you since the Women's Music Festival!
[Bernice hustles Frances and Maggie out the door.]

Paul: Are you sure you like boys?
Carla: Soft centers, hard centers. I like all the chocolates in the box.

Judy: I'm Jeremy.
Lila: You're a man?
Judy: No, no, no, no, no, not really. Not ever. I was born into a man's body but I've always been a woman and well, after the final surgery...
Lila: I think I need a little drink.

Lila: [asking about Maggie] What is going on with her these days?
Judy: You'd have to ask her that, Lila.
Lila: So, there is something going on?
Judy: Oh, well, she's nineteen. There's always something going on when you're nineteen.

Maggie: What are you doing?
Kim: Better homes and dildos!

Tony: [to Maggie] Can you believe she's never been in my coffee shop? Tell her how great it is.
Kim: Come on, I just got here. I haven't been anywhere.
Tony: Come on! Tell her how great it is, fuck!
Maggie: It's great. Fuck.

Carla: Boys like toys too, you know.
Paul: This is for boys?
Carla: Um-hmmmmmm.
Paul: What is it?
Carla: A butt plug.
[Paul abruptly drops it]
Carla: It's okay honey, I bleach it.


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