Billions (TV series)

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Billions (2016-) is an American TV show, airing on Showtime, about tenacious U.S. Attorney Chuck Rhoades, who is locked in an epic battle with ruthlessly brilliant hedge fund king Bobby ‘Axe’ Axelrod and there is no line both men won’t cross to win.

Season 1[edit]

Pilot [1.01][edit]

Chuck Rhoades: A good matador doesn't kill a fresh bull. You wait until he's been stuck a few times.

Chuck Rhoades: My father always taught me that 'mercy' was a word pussies use when they can't take the pain.

Mick Danzig: I'm down 4%, year to date. Everyone else is up double digits. I'm down. I'm fucked.
Wendy Rhoades: You don't need meds. You're just listening to the wrong voice. You're tuned in to the one yelling at you over the loudspeaker that you're fucking stupid and your performance blows, and you're ignoring the quiet one, inside, telling you where the alpha is. Now, that's the voice that got you here. And it's still there if you're willing to listen. What's that voice telling you?

Chuck Rhoades: Spyros, you wouldn't know the right thing to do if it kneeled down and sucked your tiny goddamn cock! You pull any shit like that again and I will unleash holy fucking hell on you!

Chuck Rhoades: Walk away.
Bobby Axelrod: I should. But then again, what's the point of having fuck you money, if you never say, 'Fuck you'?

Naming Rights [1.02][edit]

Mike Wagner: You see an opportunity like that again you grab it like it's a horse cock and you're Catherine the Great.

Mike Wagner: We have to be more pure than the Virgin Mary before her first period.

Bobby Axelrod: If we're as smart as we think we are. If not, the heat will melt us like an Almond Joy in the sun.

Bobby Axelrod: Get the fuck up or people will think I'm not paying you enough.

YumTime [1.03][edit]

Chuck Rhoades: Excuse me, sir.
Man: What?
Chuck Rhoades: You didn't clean up after your dog.
Man: Yeah, I forgot the bag today.
Chuck Rhoades: Oh, I don't think so because, you know, it's not just the statutory law, it's the law of civility, man. And I've seen you before. You come out of that building, your dog craps, and you just leave it where it falls.
Man: Why don't you mind your business?
Chuck Rhoades: This is my business.
Man: Oh, you're that guy.
Chuck Rhoades: I am that guy.
Man: All right, well, do you have an extra bag?
Chuck Rhoades: No, no. See, I used mine.
Man: Well, I'll get it next time.
Chuck Rhoades: No, I think you need to get it this time.
Man: Why don't you let it slide?
Chuck Rhoades: "Let it slide." That sounds simple, easy. Sure, let it slide. That's just some dog shit. But those are three devious little words. You know, if if I let your dog shit slide, then I have to be okay with this whole plaza filling up with it, which it would before we know it. Oh, then it would be on our pant legs and our shoes, and we would track it into our homes, and then our homes would smell like shit, too. It'd be easy to let it slide. You know, why don't we, uh, why don't we let petty larceny slide, too? Some kid steals five bucks from a newsstand? Who cares? Well, maybe next time he decides to steal your TV or break into your brownstone and steal your fucking wife. But what difference does it make? Because by then, we're all living in shit anyway.
Man: Come on, man. I don't have a bag.
Chuck Rhoades: You have hands.
Man: What?
Chuck Rhoades: Use your hands.
Man: Or? Come on, man.
Chuck Rhoades: Come on, buddy. [man picks it up with his hands] There we go. Thattaboy. That's the spirit.

Short Squeeze [1.04][edit]

Bobby Axelrod: Like your wife says, hold the fucking position until I tell you I'm done.

The Good Life [1.05][edit]

The Deal [1.06][edit]

'Dollar' Bill Stearn: I'm Keyser Söze Motherfucker!

Chuck Rhoades: I'm making parlay with Eastern, and I need big wampum.
Lonnie Watley: So this is where I just grab my ankles and take it?
Chuck Rhoades: I'll send over a vat of ass lube.
Lonnie Watley: Chuck, what is the difference between 'ass lube' and regular lube?
Chuck Rhoades: Viscosity.

The Punch [1.07][edit]

Boasts and Rails [1.08][edit]

Where the F*ck is Donnie? [1.09][edit]

Quality of Life [1.10][edit]

Magical Thinking [1.11][edit]

The Conversation [1.12][edit]

Bobby Axelrod: When I pull a deal off the table, I leave Nagasaki behind.
Chuck Rhoades: The only enemy more dangerous than a man with unlimited resources is one with nothing to lose. And that is what you are looking at right here.

Season 2[edit]

Dead Cat Bounce [2.02][edit]

China is a pig on LSD: You never know which way it's gonna run.


External links[edit]

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