Blast from the Past

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Blast from the Past is a 1999 film where a college professor and his pregnant wife take refuge in their fallout shelter during the Cuban Missile Crisis. During their time in the shelter, a son named Adam is born. 35 years later, Adam goes to surface under the impression he is dealing with a post-nuclear apolcalypse.

Calvin Webber[edit]

  • A duck goes into a pharmacy wanting some lip balm. The druggist asks if that will be cash or credit, and the duck replies "Put it on my bill!"


Child Adam is being homeschooled
Calvin: These are stock certificates. They denote ownership in a company.
Adam: Those look pretty. May I see them?
Calvin: Sure. They are yours. Your mother and I bought these for you before you were born to give you some money to help you out in your adult years. Unfortunately, they are all worthless now.

1965. Mom's Malt Shop has been built on the land where the destroyed Webber residence was and the fallout shelter lies underneath. It is a cheery malt shop full of clean-cut teenagers and "Surf City" by Jan & Dean is playing.
Archbishop Melcher{to owner}: Thank you for giving me this job.
Archbishop Melcher{to two girls at bar}: $1.15 an hour!

1975. Mom's Malt Shop has been converted into a bar. Cheery atmosphere now seem darker
Mom: I miss those flower children, how about you?
Archbishop Melcher, drinking a beer, makes no remark. "Can't Get Enough of Your Love" by Barry White begins to play
Mom: What is this newfangled junk?
Archbishop Melcher: Oh no, I do not think I will like this.
Female customer gives look of love to Archbishop Melcher, and both start dancing to song, cheering up both

1991. Mom's Malt Shop has been converted into a rave, and its neighborhood is surrounded by rundown buildings. Soundgarden is playing. A tattooed and stoned Archbishop Melcher tends bar
Mom: That does it! For years this neighborhood has done nothing except go downhill! I WANT OUT!
Archbishop Melcher: If you sell, may I...uh?
Mom: What?
Archbishop Melcher: If you sell...uh?
Mom: You want to buy this place from me?
Archbishop Melcher: Yes, that is it.
Mom: I will give it to you! No money down.
Mom departs building
Archbishop Melcher: YES! At long last, I am master of all I survey!

Archbishop Melcher: All of these things, Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Heroin Anonymous..
Drunk: There is a Heroin Anonymous?
Archbishop Melcher: Will you please...shut up?
Drunk: Sorry.
Archbishop Melcher: All of these things ask you to believe in something greater than yourself. Well, I have turned my eyes skyward a time or two, and I have seen nothing, except an airplane or two, which I cannot afford to get on!
Ground rumbles
Drunk: Earthquake!
Archbishop Melcher: Let it be.
Drunk runs for cover. Floor breaks and Calvin, wearing a radiation suit rises
Calvin: Welcome!
Archbishop Melcher cowers in corner, thinking a miracle has happened. Calvin shines flashlight towards him
Calvin: Leave my elevator alone.

Calvin explores the world outside fallout shelter, anticipating either a world of radioactive waste or a Soviet conquest. Even that attitude has not prepared him for 1997 Los Angeles, as there are drive-by shootings
Transvestite hooker: Got a light, honey?
Calvin: Were you a victim of the blast?
Transvestite hooker: Honey, I have been a victim of the blast, the clap, you name it. As the song goes, a country boy can survive.
Calvin: Did you say you were a country boy?
Transvestite hooker: Cute little old man, if you want a boy I can be a boy. If you want a girl I can be a girl.
Calvin is horrified to what he thinks is a mutant
Calvin: No thank you, good day.
Calvin enters adult bookstore
Calvin{off screen}: AAAUGH!

Calvin: Son, stay out of the adult bookstore.
Adam: How come?
Calvin: Poison gas is in there.

Eve: I made some champagne cocktails, like you requested. Funny, I only thought hookers drank these things.
Adam: I know Mom sure likes them.

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