The Brave Little Toaster (film)

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The Brave Little Toaster is a 1987 American animated film directed by Jerry Rees, written by Thomas M. Disch, produced by Hyperion Pictures, along with The Kushner-Locke Company, and released by Walt Disney Productions (who were the original producers).


Walter Winchell, Jr: [first lines] Good morning, good morning, good morning. That was A-Billion-And-One Strings playing one of your all-time favorite tunes. At the top of the news this morning, there's monkey business in Utah. All seriously, now. It seems that a band of renegade chimpanzees have kidnapped Pulitzer prize-winning poet Lester Charles and are demanding---
Kirby: What do you mean "what are we gonna do today"? The same thing we've done for the last 2,000 days: CHORES!
Radio: [repeated line] Listen to this.
Radio: Hang on to your hats, you devil dogs, because the master bebop blaster of all time is about to give you a soul injection!
Walter Winchell, Jr: Sorry, for that little interruption, folks. We return to our regularly scheduled program at this time.
Walter Winchell, Jr.: [Radio tries to pull his friends back out of the mud hole, but still gets dragged pulled down the slope] Well, that... uh... concludes our broadcast today--- uh... week... Actually, it concludes all future broadcasting of any sort. [Radio gets dragged down into the mud hole] We'll sign off now with a... suitable... tune! [Radio plays "Mammy" sung by Al Johnson to send for help while still getting dragged down into the mud hole]

Radio: North, by Northwest. Watch out for low-flying aircraft.
[Lampy lands on Blanky]
Blanky: OUCH!!!
Toaster: What's wrong?
Blanky: He stepped on me!
Lampy: Did not.
Blanky: Did too!
Lampy: Did not!
Blanky and Kirby: Did TOO!!
Lampy: Did NOT!!
Toaster: Hey, hey, hey. Come on. How do guys expect us to get there if you're fighting all the time?
Blanky: You mean we're not there yet?
Toaster: [calmly and smiling] No, no, not yet. [rubs Blanky's head] We got a long way to go.
Kirby: Oh, boy. You're tellin' me.
[18 seconds later]
Toaster: ♪ Life is like a journey on a road that's within. Head says you should stay, but your heart says to begin. So you go. ♪
All: ♪ But you don't want to go. ♪
Toaster: ♪ Any life worth living isn't life just filled with ease. You just stay forgiving through the forest and the trees. ♪
Toaster and Lampy: ♪ And you'll go...just where you want to go. ♪
Appliances: ♪ Time flies by in the city of light. Time stands still in the country. There's no time for a fuss and a fight. As we travel the land. ♪
Lampy and Radio: ♪ And I'd be satisfied, just to be, not denied. ♪
Toaster, Lampy and Radio: ♪ To reside with some pride. ♪
Appliances: ♪ While I ride to the City, The City of Light. ♪
Lampy: ♪ Light shines like a diamond in the City at night. ♪
Radio: ♪ When that diamond shines, you know that everything's all right. ♪
Kirby: ♪ But you know, we got a way to go. ♪
Blanky: ♪ Let us meet the master, we don't wanna make him wait. ♪
Lampy and Blanky: ♪ You just keep a-knockin', He will open up the gate ♪
Appliances: ♪ To that city of light! ♪
[Kirby goes behind a tree, doing his business. Blanky looks, and Toaster hits Blanky's head to give Kirby privacy.]
Lampy: ♪ Master is a man with a plan I can understand. ♪
Toaster: ♪ Master is a man of great reflection. ♪
Radio: ♪ Master is a man who lays his hand across the land. ♪
Blanky: ♪ Master is a man of our affection. ♪
All: ♪ Time flies by in the city of light. Time stands still in the country. There's no time for a fuss and a fight, as we travel the land. ♪
Lampy and Radio: ♪ And I'd be satisfied, just to be not denied ♪
All: ♪ To reside with some pride, while I ride to the City, the City of Light. ♪

Lampy: Hey, come over here. I'm gonna---
Radio: Why, do you dare to cross foils with the greatest Saxon swordsman in the land? Haven't you the slightest idea who you're dealing with?
Lampy: Precisely. A total... idiot!
Radio: If your saber wags as loosely as your Norman tongue, you'll be run through in an instant. Defend yourself, Sir Lampy of Locksley!
[Radio continually whacks Lampy with his antenna, Blanky falls on them]
Radio: A blow for Richard! A blow for Marian! A blow for Mario, the garbage man! And for Carl, and all the boys at the delicatessen! And here's one for the guys on 5th Street! Hey! No!
Kirby: [accidentally sucks up Blanky] Oh, whoa! Oh, no, what!
Lampy: [stops the battle.] Hey, what's goin' on? What's goin' on? Who turned out the lights?
Toaster: [smiling] Good morning, everyone.
Blanky: [smiling] Good morning, Toaster.
Radio: [appearing from under Blanky] Hey, Slots.
Lampy: [appearing from under Blanky] Salutations.

Kirby: The battery's gone dead!
Radio: We're trapped here like rats! Small, little rats with no hair and one leg.
Toaster: [frantic] BLANKY?!? BLANKY?!?
Kirby: BLANKET?!? BLANKET?!? Where ARE you, you little WIMP?!?

Blanky: Wake up, wake up. Kirby!
Toaster: You're all right!
Toaster, Lampy, Radio and Blanky: [happily] YAY!!!
Kirby: [gutteral growl] Lay off! JUST lay off!
Toaster: What's the matter?
Lampy: We were worried about you.
Radio: You gave us a real scare, pal.
Kirby: Well, there's nothing wrong with ME, pal. So just BACK off!
Blanky: Don't be angry.
Kirby: Just keep your antennas and knobs and wires and rivets off my chrome! Who needs you guys, anyway? Gotta drag you around all the time, bunch of dead weight? I'd be better off WITHOUT you!
Blanky: [hurtfully] But, Kirby---
Kirby: Especially YOU, you little RAG!

Radio: Damn thee, thou cursed whale! From the depths of Hell, I stab at thee! [pokes Kirby]
Kirby: Climb on, you idiot!
Radio: Oh, it's you!
Kirby: Where's Toaster?
Lampy: He sank!

[the appliances stop at a clearing in a bramble patch]
Lampy: Hey, everybody! Look! A clearing!
Kirby: Great. Let's spread out the blanket and have a picnic.
Blanky: But I'm full of stickers.
Kirby: Well, my bags are full of thistles and sticks and who knows what else! Whose idea was it to come this way anyway?
Radio: Why it was the Lamp's, I tell you!
Lampy: Oh, yeah? Who's supposed to be the big-shot navigator around here, Mr. Loudmouth? Mr. Big...? Loudmouth?
Kirby: Yeah.
Toaster: Where are we, anyway?
Radio: Now, look here, fellas, just give me a second, and, uh... [notices a small pebble] Oh, listen to this!
Walter Winchell, Jr.: It's the top of the 9th, the bases are all loaded, and Pee-Wee Reese is at the plate. Here's the pitch... [Radio kicks the pebble in the air] and he connects! [hits the pebble with his antenna, which bounces off Toaster, Kirby, and Lampy] OH!!! And it's a triple play! [Kirby and Lampy angrily swarm around Radio]
Toaster: Knock it off, you guys! We should all settle down and try to get some sleep.
[Lampy drops rock. Next scene shifts to Lampy laying his head on a rock. He hears a sound and sees Radio drawing a dirt circle in the dirt]
Radio: [about the circle in the dirt] This is my sleeping space, see? And nobody crosses this line!
Lampy: Yeah, well you'd better not wake us up at 6:00 as usual!
Kirby: What are you complaining about? You didn't do any work today.
Radio: Yeah!
[Blanky crawls to Lampy who looks at him angrily]
Lampy: Go find your own place to sleep, ya little fuzz ball.
[Lampy falls asleep; Blanky tries going into Radio's sleeping space, but Radio stops him.]
Radio: Watch it! Hey! Hey! Hey! What, are you blind? It's a line. Aht-aht!
Kirby: [annoyed] Good night! [falls asleep]
[Blanky tries cuddling up to Toaster, but Toaster wakes up.]
Toaster: [tired, shoos Blanky away] Come on. I'm not the Master. Go snuggle somewhere else. I'm trying to get some sleep. Now go on.
[Blanky looks dejected and sleeps by himself.]

[the appliances stop at a clearing in a dark forest]
Blanky: Do we have to stop here?
Toaster: Only for a while.
Radio: Just long enough to lose our minds! We'll be cannibals in a few days, I've seen it happen!
Kirby: And you'd be the first to go, dial face.
Lampy: Hey, fellas! We can stay in here! Look! [turns on his light to reveal a scary face on a tree; the appliances gasp in horror, and hide in the bushes] W-What's the matter?
Radio: Eaten alive, the poor sap.
[Lampy turns around to the scary face]
Lampy: [scared] WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!! [runs and joins the others in the bushes]
Radio: Oh, I thought you were a goner.
Lampy: Ah, you wish.
Toaster: You know, guys, we are gonna need some kind of shelter.
Kirby: Yeah, shelter from the likes of them.
Radio: [imitating boxer] Come on over here and say that, chrome-dome! [Lampy blows raspberries at Kirby]
Kirby: [shocked and angry] WHAT?!?
Radio: Oh, sorry about that. I meant to say "vacuous vacuum".
[Kirby angrily grumbles]
Walter Winchell, Jr.: Alright, ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to rumble. In the blue corner, undefeated champion, Rocko "the Radio" Ratuno. DING! Oh, and there's the bell! They're on each other like black on a bowling ball!
[Radio and Kirby are about to fight but Toaster comes between them]
Lampy: Hey! Look!
[everyone sees that Blanky has made himself into a tent]
[next scene switches to the ending of "The Star-Spangled Banner."]
Walter Winchell, Jr.: And that concludes our broadcast day. This is Walter Winchell signing off. Good night, America and all the ships at sea. [static]
Toaster: [pats Blanky, smiling] Thanks.
Blanky: Oh, that's all right. [yawns and falls asleep]

Toaster: BLANKY?!? Blanky, where ARE you?!? [slowly] BLAAAAANKYYYYY?!?
Lampy: [weakly] Come on, Blanky! Speak UP for Pete's sake! [coughs and zaps]
Toaster: No, no, just relax. You've done enough. We'll look for him.
Lampy: I am feeling a little burned out.
Radio: Listen to this.
Walter Winchell, Jr.: The lamp was awarded a Purple Heart today for being wounded in the line of duty. Lamps across the nation were switched off for a moment of silence in respect for his act of bravery.

Mish-mash: Hey, look at me! I mean, really! Barf, barf, barf! I'm a can opener, lamp, and a shaver! Oh-ho-ho-ho, God, I'm a mish-mash!

[the appliance's make it to Rob's apartment]
Lampy: A113. This is it!
Toaster: Go ahead.
[Lampy knocks the door and the appliances freeze; nothing happens]
Blanky: He's not home.
Toaster: We'll have to wait.
Radio: So, let's wait inside! Relax!
Lampy: But it's locked.
Radio: Luckily, my war-training included inter-appliance codes. I'll simply run into this inter-appliance knock, and we'll be welcomed by the native machinery. Stand aside, my meager companion! [He begins to knock the door; then, he rapidly taps the heads of Toaster, Lampy and Blanky. The door opens and Plugsy comes out] Hiya, pal.
Plugsy: [gasps; then dashes back inside and the door slams] It's them. [He and the other modern appliances whisper inaudibly. Them, the door opens again and he comes back out calmly] How do yous do? Tarry not upon our doorstop. Please, feel free to enter. All of yous.

Lampy: Boy, he sure has grown!
Radio: Look at him! What a heart-breaker!
Toaster: He graduated, too!
Kirby: Of course. He knows how to work hard.
Blanky: He's all big now. I hope he still needs us.
T.V.: Still needs you?!? That's the silliest thing I've ever heard!
Radio: Why, if it isn't Ol' Rabbit Ears!
T.V.: Why, if it isn't Ol' Loudmouth!
Blanky: Hi, T.V.!
Lampy: How are you doing?
T.V.: Oh, I've got a few more seasons left.
Toaster: The cottage just wasn't the same after they took you away.
Kirby: Yeah, it wasn't as noisy.
T.V.: Well, I see you haven't changed.
Radio: Kind of gives you a sense of security. Doesn't it?
Blanky: Where's the Master?
T.V.: Didn't anybody tell you? Boy, is he gonna be surprised when he gets back. He just left a little while ago to drive up to the co--- [Plugsy sneaks up behind him and changes his channel to Spanish news network. Radio and Lampy find Plugsy]
Lampy: Hey!
Radio: What's the idea?
Plugsy: Oh, many pardons. Was you watching that channel?

Toaster: [whispering] K-Kirby, what should we do?!
Kirby: I-I-I don't know.
Lampy: Hey. I got an idea.
[Elmo St. Peters Continues to try doing the operation, Toaster closes the curtains, Elmo looks up, Blanky and Kirby make spooky sounds. As Soon as Elmo sees his reflection on Toaster, Kirby laughs like a ghost, Elmo screams, runs around and runs into the pole, which knocks him out.]
Lampy: See? It worked! I told you it would work! I told ya, I told ya, I told ya, I knew, I knew, I knew! It worked!
[Megaphone imitates a siren as Refrigerator pounds the door down; then, Quadruped goes in Monster Truck. He almost starts him up, but he puts his seatbelt on first; then, he ignites Monster Truck and drives away quickly, while the broken appliances run away back to their owners and Toaster and his gang rescue Radio and went off into the city with him and a baby carriage. Elmo St. Peters wakes up and notices the shack being torn apart]
Elmo St. Peters: Whoa... Uh... [confused] Wha?
Customer: Did I catch you at a bad time? Just wondering if you got my radio tubes.


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