The Brave Little Toaster (film)

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The Brave Little Toaster is a 1987 American animated film directed by Jerry Rees, written by Thomas M. Disch, produced by Hyperion Pictures, along with The Kushner-Locke Company, and released by Walt Disney Pictures (who were the original producers).


Radio: [first lines] Good morning, good morning, good morning. That was A-Billion-And-One Strings playing one of your all-time favorite tunes. At the top of the news this morning, there's monkey business in Utah. All seriously, now. It seems that a band of renegade chimpanzees have kidnapped Pulitzer prize-winning poet Lester Charles and are demanding---
Lampy: Hey, what's the big idea?! I'm attempting to get some sleep!
Radio: Look buddy, I'm doing a broadcast. Did you mind? [lights on] WHOA! Not in the face there, pal!

Lampy: Hey, come over here. I'm gonna---
Radio: Why, do you dare to cross foils with the greatest Saxon swordsman in the land? Haven't you the slightest idea who you're dealing with?
Lampy: Precisely. A total... idiot!
Radio: If your saber wags as loosely as your Norman tongue, you'll be run through in an instant. Defend yourself, Sir Lampy of Locksley!
[Radio continually whacks Lampy with his antenna, Blanky falls on them]
Radio: A blow for Richard! A blow for Marian! A blow for Mario, the garbage man! And for Carl, and all the boys at the delicatessen! And here's one for the guys on 5th Street! Hey! No!
Kirby: [accidentally sucks up Blanky] Oh, whoa! Oh, no, what?!
Lampy: [stops the battle] Hey, what's goin' on? What's goin' on? Who turned out the lights?
Toaster: [smiling] Good morning, everyone.
Blanky: [smiling] Good morning, Toaster.
Radio: [appearing from under Blanky] Hey, Slots.
Lampy: [appearing from under Blanky] Salutations.

[Blanky bawls after realizing the Master hasn't returned]
Kirby: [annoyed upon hearing Blanky crying] Rrrhhh! Cry, cry, weep, wail and sob! It's disgusting! Every time! I can't believe it! Every single-- Give me that stupid picture! [tries to suck in Rob’s picture frame]
Blanky: No, no!
Toaster: I'll just put it away!
Kirby: In the garbage! [Radio and Lampy help him]
Blanky: No, you can't!
Kirby: Wimp!
Toaster: [annoyed] Let go!
Kirby: He's not coming back anyway.
Lampy: He might. The fact is, there's Just not enough facts.
Radio: Fight breaks out in peaceful mountain cottage shocking world and bringing Geneva Talks to a grinding halt!
Blanky: Stop it!
Kirby: Let me have it.
Blanky: You can't!
[the picture of Rob, their Master, flies through the air and crashes; Blanky gasps in shock]
Kirby: [shocked] Oh, no.
[the appliances go toward the broken photo stand of Rob; suddenly cold air breezes through the cottage, and Air Conditioner laughs ironically]
Toaster: What are you laughing at?
Air Conditioner: [stops laughing and smirks] Absolutely nothin', nothin' at all.
Lampy: I think he was laughin' at us.
Air Conditioner: You know somethin', you're a real bright little lamp.
Lampy: Oh, thanks. [offended] Hey!
Air Conditioner: You guys really have an attachment for that kid, don't ya?
Blanky: Yes. He was our master.
Air Conditioner: Well, that's real nice. And any day now, he might come rompin' back, huh? Just come whistlin' right back in through that door, and everything'll be the same; Real peachy-keen-like.
Blanky: Uh-huh.
Lampy: It's a possibility.
Toaster: Well, at least, we try to be optimistic.
Air Conditioner: "Optimistic"?! Somebody untie the knot in this guy's cord!
Kirby: [angrily] Why don't you just shut off?!
Air Conditioner: Hey, I'm real scared there, Kirby. What are you gonna do, suck me to death?
Kirby: Hmph!
Air Conditioner: What is it with you guys, anyway? You act like you just came off the assembly line. Now, get this through your chrome; [blows a gust of cold wind at the appliances] We've been dumped! Abandoned!
Blanky: But he loved us.
Radio: That's right.
Air Conditioner: So what? He's a kid; He has a family. They move away, he moves away. It's a package deal.
Toaster: But, maybe they're all--
Air Conditioner: [interrupts Toaster] He's not comin back, pure and simple.
Kirby: [to Air Conditioner] Oh, yeah? Did you talk to him recently or somethin'? They could drive up any second.
Blanky: [to Kirby] You really think so?
Kirby: [to Blanky] I'm not talkin' to you!
Air Conditioner: The whole bunch of ya gotta have a combined wattage of five, maybe less. It's been years. It's scrap-metal time.
Toaster: Well, you can do what you like. We're not gonna give up hope.
Air Conditioner: [sarcastically] That's real touchin', Toaster. You're gonna get me bawlin' like a baby any time now.
Toaster: I think you're jealous.
Air Conditioner: Sure, I'm jealous of a bunch of dimwits.
Lampy: [angrily] "Dim"?!
Toaster: Yeah. Because the Master never played with you.
Kirby: 'Cause you're stuck in the wall!
Air Conditioner: [blows cold air; angrily] So... it's back to that stupid static again. You think I don't know what's goin' on in here? I know what goes on in this cottage. It's a conspiracy, and every one of you low-watts is in on it. Just 'cause you can move around, you think you're better than I am. I'M NOT AN INVALID; I WAS DESIGNED TO STICK IN A WALL!! I LIKE BEIN' STUCK IN THIS STUPID WALL!! I can't help it if the kid was TOO SHORT TO REACH MY DIALS!!
Toaster: We didn't mean it! Really!
Air Conditioner: [roaring] IT'S MY FUNCTION!!! [He begins glowing in red-shift and then bright burst orange and sparks fly out of his mouth and on the appliances providing cover for themselves from the sparks]
Toaster: Don't! Wait! Wait!
[The appliances run away as Air Conditioner overheats]
Kirby: [alarmed] HE'S GONNA BLOW!
[Blanky, Radio and Lampy pull out their plugs from two outlets and take cover]
Kirby: [behind chair] THE FUSE!
Toaster: KIRBY!
[Air Conditioner continues to rage until he finally explodes. Toaster and Lampy carefully peek from behind the stairs and the appliances see the Air Conditioner's blown up remains. As his things fall off]
Blanky: Poor Air Conditioner.
Toaster: I didn't know he'd take it so hard.
Kirby: Well, he was a jerk anyway.
Lampy: Hey, hey. What's that? What is it?
[revving is heard]
Blanky: [happily] A car!
Kirby: [angrily] I don't want to hear another word about cars!
Toaster: [agreeing with Kirby] You said it.
Radio: Sound pretty close.
Kirby: Just don't even start!
Lampy: Sounds real close.
[pauses for a few seconds, and when they thought the Master is gonna pick them up, and then go hide. But then, they hear a hammer, and look out the window to see a “For Sale” sign; Blanky looks shocked. Radio hums Taps, Blanky bawls and falls to the floor and Lampy moans sadly]
Toaster: [angrily] STOP IT! [scene cuts to Toaster jumping onto the soapbox] We’re going out to find him!
Radio, Lampy, Kirby, and Blanky: WHAT?!
Kirby: What are you talking about? What do you mean?
Toaster: Exactly what it I said. We’re gonna go out and find the master.
Blanky: [scared] To the city?
Toaster: Yeah, no matter what.
Lampy: Well, how exactly would you propose we’re gonna do that, exactly?
Toaster: I-- I don’t know!
Kirby: Oh, come off it. Be serious!
Toaster: I am serious!
Kirby: You’re insane. [backs away]
Radio: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved.
[pauses they look at each other]
Toaster: [confused] What?
Radio: Or maybe it was basset hound.
Kirby: You’re all insane!
Radio: It was a news flash I picked up yesterday about a dog. [country accent] In an amazing show of loyalty and courage, a terrier name Grover traveled hundred of miles... to be reunited with his owner. The poor little critter was accidentally left behind on a fishing trip three weeks ago. He had to find his way across the rugged mountain and scorching desserts in order to get home. Little Grover turned out to be one spunky pup.
Toaster: If the dog can do it, we can do it!
Blanky: But a dog has legs.
Toaster Ah, don’t be a wet blanket.
Lampy: Actually, legs would help, you know.
Kirby: Brains wouldn’t hurt, either.
Lampy: Lay off.
Radio: Yeah, pipe down, carpet breath!
Toaster: Well, I’m going with or without you.
Kirby: I say we stay. We’ll have a new master anyway as soon as someone buys the cottage.
Blanky: But I don’t want a new master. I want our master.
Toaster: Well, what about the rest of you?
Radio: You boys are gonna need a leader. Why, alone, you wouldn’t last for five minutes out there. I used to be a mountaineer, see? And together, we can stand against the forces of nature.
Lampy: Were you really a mountaineer?
Radio: Sure. Ask anybody. Ask Teddy Roosevelt. Why, we shot moose together on the Klondike.
Lampy: Wow. Well, you know, I was just thinking, you guys will need somebody bright along, too.
Toaster: Good idea.
Radio: Listen to this. World War II, the Normandy Invasion. And who's there but Lampy to light the way?
[the appliances look at Kirby]
Toaster: Y'know, I thought it’d be good to have somebody come along, who’s really... strong.
Lampy: And loud.
Blanky: And grumpy!
Radio: And oblivious to reality.
[Toaster hits appliances in annoyance]
Toaster: Well?
[pause; a few seconds later, Kirby begrudgingly joins in]
Kirby: [under his breath] I just know I’m gonna regret this.
[the rest of the appliances cheer.]
Lampy: [opens fuse box, and pulls out last fuse] Wow. This was our last fuse.
Toaster: See? [puts last fuse in transmitter] It's a good thing we're getting out of here.
Radio: [turns on kitchen light] I've always loved travel, anyway. The open road, the smell of the wind in my face, the files clogging up my grille.
Kirby: Yeah? Well, how are we going to travel?
Lampy: Hey, I got an idea. We can all get on top of the bed, you know, and then Kirby can push us. [Kirby pushes the bed with Toaster, Blanky, Radio, and Lampy on board, and tries to push gently down the stairs, but pushes too hard, and sends Toaster, Blanky, Radio, and Lampy falling down with the bed] No, no, no. Hey! What’s about Master’s Pogo stick? [the appliances jump on the Pogo stick, try to go forward, and succeed for a bit, but end up going backward in the wrong direction on it, and crash] No, that’s no good. Hey, how about we're in the refrigerator on a skateboard, and Kirby can pull? [Kirby, with a rope attached to him, pulls the skateboard with the refrigerator on top, and tries to pull gently, but ends up pulling too hard that the rope snaps from the skateboard, which sends Kirby flying forward, and causes the refrigerator to fall off, tilt over, and land on the floor with a loud thunk, as Blanky, now blue, and with his teeth chattering, shivers in the freezer, due to the ice freezing him] No, no, no. Hey!
Radio: [annoyed] Shut up! Shut up!
Toaster, Kirby, Blanky: [annoyed] Shut up!
Radio: Let somebody else try for a change. Arise, Hassan, arise, O magic carpet.

Radio: North, by Northwest. Watch out for low-flying aircraft.
[Lampy lands on Blanky]
Blanky: OUCH!!!
Toaster: What's wrong?
Blanky: He stepped on me!
Lampy: Did not.
Blanky: Did too!
Lampy: Did not!
Blanky and Kirby: Did TOO!!
Lampy: Did NOT!!
Toaster: Hey, hey, hey. Come on. How do guys expect us to get there if you're fighting all the time?
Blanky: You mean we're not there yet?
Toaster: [calmly and smiling] No, no, not yet. [rubs Blanky's head] We got a long way to go.
Kirby: Oh, boy. You're tellin' me.
[18 seconds later]
Toaster: ♪ Life is like a journey on a road that's within. Head says you should stay, but your heart says to begin. So you go. ♪
All: ♪ But you don't want to go. ♪
Toaster: ♪ Any life worth living isn't life just filled with ease. You just stay forgiving through the forest and the trees. ♪
Toaster and Lampy: ♪ And you'll go...just where you want to go. ♪
Appliances: ♪ Time flies by in the city of light. Time stands still in the country. There's no time for a fuss and a fight. As we travel the land. ♪
Lampy and Radio: ♪ And I'd be satisfied, just to be, not denied. ♪
Toaster, Lampy and Radio: ♪ To reside with some pride. ♪
Appliances: ♪ While I ride to the City, The City Of Light. ♪
Lampy: ♪ Light shines like a diamond in the City at night. ♪
Radio: ♪ When that diamond shines, you know that everything's all right. ♪
Kirby: ♪ But you know, we got a way to go. ♪
Blanky: ♪ Let us meet the master, we don't wanna make him wait. ♪
Lampy and Blanky: ♪ You just keep a-knockin', He will open up the gate ♪
Appliances: ♪ To that city of light! ♪
[Kirby goes behind a tree, doing his business. Blanky looks, and Toaster hits Blanky's head to give Kirby privacy.]
Lampy: ♪ Master is a man with a plan I can understand. ♪
Toaster: ♪ Master is a man of great reflection. ♪
Radio: ♪ Master is a man who lays his hand across the land. ♪
Blanky: ♪ Master is a man of our affection. ♪
All: ♪ Time flies by in the city of light. Time stands still in the country. There's no time for a fuss and a fight, as we travel the land. ♪
Lampy and Radio: ♪ And I'd be satisfied, just to be not denied ♪
All: ♪ To reside with some pride, while I ride to the City, the City Of Light. ♪

[The appliances stop at a clearing in a bramble patch.]
Lampy: Hey, everybody! Look! A clearing!
Kirby: Great. Let's spread out the blanket and have a picnic.
Blanky: But I'm full of stickers.
Kirby: Well, my bags are full of thistles and sticks and who knows what else! Whose idea was it to come this way anyway?
Radio: Why it was the Lamp's, I tell you!
Lampy: Oh, yeah? Who's supposed to be the big-shot navigator around here, Mr. Loudmouth? Mr. Big... Loudmouth?
Kirby: Yeah.
Toaster: Where are we, anyway?
Radio: Now, look here, fellas, just give me a second, and, uh... [notices a small pebble] Oh, listen to this! It's the top of the 9th, the bases are all loaded, and Pee-Wee Reese is at the plate. Here's the pitch... [kicks the pebble in the air] ...and he connects! [hits the pebble with his antenna, which bounces off Toaster, Kirby, and Lampy] OH!!! And it's a triple play! [Kirby and Lampy angrily swarm around Radio]
Toaster: Knock it off, you guys! We should all settle down and try to get some sleep.
[Lampy drops the rock. Next scene shifts to Lampy laying his head on a rock like a pillow. He hears a sound and sees Radio drawing a dirt circle in the dirt.]
Radio: [about the circle in the dirt] This is my sleeping space, see? And nobody crosses this line!
Lampy: Yeah, well you'd better not wake us up at 6:00 as usual!
Kirby: What are you complaining about? You didn't do any work today.
Radio: Yeah!
[Blanky crawls to Lampy, who looks at him angrily.]
Lampy: Go find your own place to sleep, ya little fuzz ball. [goes to sleep; Blanky tries going into Radio's sleeping space, but Radio stops him.]
Radio: Watch it! Hey! Hey! Hey! What, are you blind? It's a line. Aht-aht!
Kirby: [annoyed] Good night! [falls asleep]
[Blanky tries cuddling up to Toaster, who then wakes up.]
Toaster: [tired, shoos Blanky away] Come on. I'm not the Master. Go snuggle somewhere else. I'm trying to get some sleep. Now go on.
[Blanky looks dejected and sleeps by himself.]

[The appliances stop at a clearing in a dark forest.]
Blanky: Do we have to stop here?
Toaster: Only for a while.
Radio: Just long enough to lose our minds! We'll be cannibals in a few days, I've seen it happen!
Kirby: And you'd be the first to go, dial face.
Lampy: Hey, fellas! We can stay in here! Look! [turns on his light to reveal a scary face on a tree; the appliances gasp in horror, and hide in the bushes] W-What's the matter?
Radio: Eaten alive, the poor sap.
[Lampy turns around and sees the scary face.]
Lampy: [scared] WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!!! [runs and joins the others in the bushes]
Radio: Oh, I thought you were a goner.
Lampy: Ah, you wish.
Toaster: You know, guys, we are gonna need some kind of shelter.
Kirby: Yeah, shelter from the likes of them.
Radio: [imitating boxer] Come on over here and say that, chrome-dome! [Lampy blows raspberries at Kirby]
Kirby: [shocked and angry] WHAT?!?
Radio: Oh, sorry about that. I meant to say "vacuous vacuum". [Kirby angrily grumbles] Alright, ladies and gentlemen, let's get ready to rumble. In the blue corner, undefeated champion, Rocko "the Radio" Ratuno. Ding! Oh, and there's the bell! They're on each other like black on a bowling ball!
[Radio and Kirby are about to fight but Toaster comes between them]
Lampy: Hey! Look!
[everyone sees that Blanky has made himself into a tent; next scene switches to the ending of "The Star-Spangled Banner."]
Radio: And that concludes our broadcast day. This is Walter Winchell signing off. Good night, America and all the ships at sea. [static]
Toaster: [pats Blanky, smiling] Thanks.
Blanky: Oh, that's all right. [yawns and falls asleep]
Lampy: So, uh, what’s this thing you and the Blanket?
Toaster: What thing?
Lampy: You know. All of a sudden, you’re being so darned nice to him all of a sudden.
Toaster: Oh, that. I was just thinking, and I got this feeling I should be nicer to him for a change, you know? And now I feel better.
Lampy: Wow, that’s weird.
Toaster: What’s weird about it?
Lampy: I don’t know. I mean, you are never this nice to me before, and all of a sudden now you’re nice to him all the time, and I don’t know. I’m, uh, I’m just trying to understand, trying to figure out, what it all means.
Toaster: Well, it’s kind of hard to describe. It’s like being next to a new loaf of bread. [pauses] Hmm. It’s, um, let’s see... it’s like a warm, toasty feeling inside. Well, like a glow that just--
Lampy: [happily] A glow?
Toaster: Yeah!
Lampy: I think I know what you’re talking about! It’s like the feeling I get when I think about the Master.
Toaster: Yeah, that’s it.
Lampy: I remembered my first time light bulb burned out. And I thought... That's it! It's over, I'm burned out! 86 to the showers! But then the Master put in a brand new bulb. And I just glowed.
Toaster: Well, that's all there is do it.
Lampy: That's very interesting. Good night, slot head.

Kirby: [in panic] THE BATTERY'S GONE DEAD!!!
Radio: We're trapped here like rats! Small, little rats with no hair and one leg.
Toaster: [frantic] BLANKY?!? BLANKY?!?
Kirby: BLANKET?! BLANKET?! Where are you, you little wimp?!
Toaster: Lampy!
[Lampy faints and all appliances come to see Lampy unconscious after storm]

[The very next morning, bird chirping]
Toaster: BLANKY?!? Blanky, where ARE you?! [slowly] BLAAAAANKYYYYY?!?
Lampy: [weakly] Come on, Blanky! Speak UP for Pete's sake! [coughs and zaps]
Toaster: No, no, just relax. You've done enough. We'll look for him.
Lampy: I am feeling a little burned out.
Radio: Listen to this. The lamp was awarded a Purple Heart today for being wounded in the line of duty. Lamps across the nation were switched off for a moment of silence in respect for his act of bravery.
Blanky: Help!
Toaster: Hey, listen.

Kirby: [see the waterfall; shocked] Oh, what’s-- What-- Oh, no! Oh, no! [tries to swallow his cord]
Toaster: KIRBY, NO!
Radio: SWITCH HIM OFF!!!!!!!!
[Toaster jumps on Kirby]
Lampy: Just shorted right out.
Radio: Cracked up and snapped. He sold the farm. Poor chap.
Lampy: How does he look?
Radio: A little better then you actually. Keep it up Slots! Even carpet sweeping motion. He should come around sooner later.
Toaster: Hey, I think it's working. Kirby! Kirby, can you hear me?
Blanky: Wake up, wake up. Kirby!
Toaster: You're all right!
Toaster, Lampy, Radio and Blanky: [happily] YAY!!!
Kirby: [gutteral growl] Lay off! Just lay off!
Toaster: What's the matter?
Lampy: We were worried about you.
Radio: You gave us a real scare, pal.
Kirby: Well, there's nothing wrong with me, pal. So just back off!
Blanky: Don't be angry.
Kirby: Just keep your antennas and knobs and wires and rivets off my chrome! Who needs you guys, anyway? Gotta drag you around all the time, bunch of dead weight? I'd be better off without ya!
[Toaster, Lampy, Radio, and Blanky are stunned in confusion]
Blanky: [hurtfully] But, Kirby--
Kirby: Especially you, you little rag. [pauses a few seconds when they hear the waterfall] So, how we get cross this thing, anyway?
[scene cuts to Toaster, Lampy, Radio and Blanky tied up cords with Kirby]
Radio: You know, I think, Houdini did this once. Why, if I remember right, he was in out of the hospital in no time.
Lampy: Well, that’s encouraging.
Toaster: Okay, Kirby.
Lampy: Hey, we’re not dead.

Radio: Damn thee, thou cursed whale! From the depths of Hell, I stab at thee! [pokes Kirby]
Kirby: Climb on, you idiot!
Radio: Oh, it's you!
Kirby: Where's Toaster?
Lampy: He sank!

Mish-Mash: Hey, look at me! I mean, really! Barf, barf, barf! I'm a can opener, lamp, and a shaver! Oh-ho-ho-ho, God, I'm a mish-mash!

Toaster: [whispering] K-K-Kirby, what should we do?!
Kirby: I-I-I don't know.
Lampy: Hey. I got an idea.
[Elmo St. Peters continues to try doing the operation, Toaster closes the curtains. Elmo looks up, Blanky and Kirby make spooky sounds. As soon as Elmo sees his reflection on Toaster, Kirby laughs like a ghost, as Elmo screams, runs around and runs into the pole, which knocks him out.]
Lampy: See? It worked! I told you it would work! I told ya, I told ya, I told ya, I knew, I knew, I knew! It worked!
[Megaphone imitates a siren as Refrigerator pounds the door down; then, Quadruped goes in Monster Truck. He almost starts him up, but he puts his seatbelt on first; then, he ignites Monster Truck and drives away quickly, while the broken appliances run away back to their owners and Toaster and his gang rescue Radio and went off into the city with him and a baby carriage. Elmo St. Peters wakes up and notices the shack being torn apart]
Elmo St. Peters: Whoa... Uh... [confused] Wha?
Zeke: Did I catch you at a bad time? Just wondering if you got my radio tubes.

[The appliances arrive at Rob's apartment.]
Lampy: A113. This is it!
Toaster: Go ahead.
[Lampy knocks the door and the appliances freeze; nothing happens]
Blanky: He's not home.
Toaster: We'll have to wait.
Radio: So, let's wait inside! Relax!
Lampy: But it's locked.
Radio: Luckily, my war-training included inter-appliance codes. I'll simply run into this inter-appliance knock, and we'll be welcomed by the native machinery. Stand aside, my meager companion! [He begins to knock the door; then, he rapidly taps the heads of Toaster, Lampy and Blanky. The door opens and Plugsy comes out] Hiya, pal.
Plugsy: [gasps; then dashes back inside and the door slams] It's them. [He and the other modern appliances whisper inaudibly. Them, the door opens again and he comes back out calmly] How do yous do? Tarry not upon our doorstop. Please, feel free to enter. All of yous.

Lampy: Boy, he sure has grown!
Radio: Look at him! What a heart-breaker!
Toaster: He graduated, too!
Kirby: Of course. He knows how to work hard.
Blanky: He's all big now. I hope he still needs us.
Black and White T.V.: Still needs you?! That's the silliest thing I've ever heard!
Radio: Why, if it isn't Ol' Rabbit Ears!
Black and White T.V.: Why, if it isn't Ol' Loudmouth!
Blanky: Hi, T.V.!
Lampy: How are you doing?
Black and White T.V.: Oh, I've got a few more seasons left.
Toaster: The cottage just wasn't the same after they took you away.
Kirby: Yeah, it wasn't as noisy.
Black and White T.V.: Well, I see you haven't changed.
Radio: Kind of gives you a sense of security. Doesn't it?
Blanky: Where's the Master?
Black and White T.V.: Didn't anybody tell you? Boy, is he gonna be surprised when he gets back. He just left a little while ago to drive up to the co-- [Plugsy sneaks up behind Black and White T.V. and changes his channel to Spanish news network. Radio and Lampy find Plugsy]
Lampy: Hey!
Radio: What's the idea?
Plugsy: Oh, many pardons. Was you watching that channel?


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