[to Jane] I think we have the kind of friendship where if I were the devil, you'd be the only one I would tell.
Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If "needy" were a turn-on?
[to Jane] And if things had gone differently for me tonight then I probably wouldn't be saying any of this. I grant you everything. But give me this: he personifies everything that you've been fighting against. And I'm in love with you. How do you like that? I buried the lead.
Aaron Altman: I know you care about him. I've never seen you like this about anyone, so please don't take it wrong when I tell you that I believe that Tom, while a very nice guy, is the Devil.
Jane Craig: This isn't friendship.
Aaron Altman: What do you think the Devil is going to look like if he's around? Nobody is going to be taken in if he has a long, red, pointy tail. No. I'm semi-serious here. He will look attractive and he will be nice and helpful and he will get a job where he influences a great God-fearing nation and he will never do an evil thing... he will just bit by little bit lower standards where they are important. Just coax along flash over substance... Just a tiny bit. And he will talk about all of us really being salesmen. And he'll get all the great women.
Tom Grunick: What do you do when your real life exceeds your dreams?
Aaron Altman: Keep it to yourself.
Blair Litton: Oh, you think anyone who's proud of the work we do is an ass-kisser.
Aaron Altman: No, I think anyone who puckers up their lips and presses it against their boss' buttocks and then smooches is an ass-kisser.
Blair Litton: My gosh... and for a while there I was attracted to you.
Aaron Altman: Well, wait a minute, that changes everything!
Aaron Altman: And in the middle of all this, I started to think about the one thing that makes me feel really good and makes immediate sense... and it's you.
Jane Craig: Oh, Bubba.
Aaron Altman: I'm going to stop right now. Except that I would give anything if you were two people, so that I could call up the one who's my friend and tell her about the one that I like so much!
Paul Moore: It must be nice to always believe you know better, to always think you're the smartest person in the room.
Jane Craig: No. It's awful.
Paul Moore: [after firing one of his workers] Now, if there's anything I can do for you...
Employee: Well, I certainly hope you'll die soon.
Tom Grunick: You're an amazing woman - what a feeling having you inside my head!
Jane Craig: [smiling] Yeah - it was - an unusual place to be.
Tom Grunick: It's like - indescribable - you knew just when to feed me the next line, you knew the m... second before I needed it. There was like, a rhythm we got into - it was like - great sex!
[he pulls her toward him while she laughs]
Jane Craig: So you like me, huh?
Tom Grunick: I like you as much as I can like anyone who thinks I'm an asshole.
Aaron Altman: The pointers were great, I'll study the tape.
Tom Grunick: Just remember that you're not just reading the news, you're narrating it. Everybody has to sell a little. You're selling them this idea of you, you know, you're sort of saying, trust me I'm, um, credible. So when you feel yourself just reading, stop! Start selling a little.