Burn After Reading
- Directed by and written by Joel and Ethan Coen.
- I have a drinking problem? Fuck you, Peck! You're a Mormon! Next to you, we all have a drinking problem!
- [Panicking, after having reflexively shot Chad in the head] Oh, my fuck! I shot a fucking spook! Who the fuck are you, you fucker!!
- Palmer: We're moving you out of Sigint entirely.
- Osbourne: What? There's no discussion?
- Palmer: Well we're having the discussion now.
- Osbourne: What did Kathleen say?
- Katie: What?
- Osbourne: When you left the message.
- Katie: That she would give you the message!
- Harry: Is this goat cheese?
- Osbourne: Chevre, yes, that is a goat cheese.
- Harry: Because I have lactose reflux. I can—
- Osbourne: You're lactose intolerant? Or you have acid reflux? They're two different things.
- Harry: I know what they are.
- Osbourne: Then you misspoke.
- Harry: [sarcastic] Well thank you for correcting me.
- Katie: [walking up] Try the chevre, Harry, it's very good.
- Harry: Oh, yeah, I can eat goat cheese.
- Chad: Throw it out?!
- Linda: You can't do that! You should put a note up in the ladies' locker room.
- Chad: Put a note up? "Highly classified shit found, Signals Intelligence shit, CIA shit? Hello? Did you lose your secret CIA shit?" I don't think so.
- Katie: What is going on?
- Osbourne: Some clown—a couple of clowns got a hold of my memoirs.
- Katie: Your what?
- Osbourne: Stole it or... I have no idea how they—
- Katie: Your what?
- Osbourne: My memoirs... the book I'm writing.
- Katie: Why in God's name would they think that's worth anything?!
- Harry: [Leading Linda downstairs] Yeah, I tell ya. I saw an ad for this in a gentlemen's magazine. Twelve hundred bucks, TWELVE HUNDRED BUCKS. I'm lookin' at this thing and I think, "You gotta be kiddin' me." I'm a hobbyist. Thing's basically nothing but speed rails. I figure I'd go down to Home Depot and whip this up myself for... a hundred bucks. [Pulls the tarp off the machine]
- Linda:...What is it?
- Harry: What is it?? [Points to the chair] You sit down there, make yourself comfortable, put your feet in the stirrups, and...
- [Harry pushes the chair back, and when it comes forward, a dildo pushes up through a hole in the seat of the chair. The chair continues to rock back and forth, with the dildo going up and down]
- Linda: Oh my God!...[Hushed voice] THAT'S FANTASTIC.
- Harry: Something, isn't it? Hundred bucks, all in; not counting the labor and...the cost of the dildo -those things aren't cheap- See, I like to...I'm not set up to mold hard rubber.
- Linda: Where's the money?
- Chad: He hit me.
- Linda: Where's the money?!
- Chad: [Pause] He didn't give it to me.
- CIA Supervisor: Jesus Fucking Christ. What did we learn, Palmer?
- Palmer: I don't know sir.
- CIA Supervisor: I don't fucking know either. I guess we learned not to do it again. I'm fucked if I know what we did.
- Palmer: Yes sir, it's hard to say.
- Intelligence is relative.
- A high stakes love life and Jewel CIA shelter.
- Intelligence is only their job.
- George Clooney - Harry Pfarrer
- Frances McDormand - Linda Litzke
- John Malkovich - Osbourne Cox
- Tilda Swinton - Katie Cox
- Brad Pitt - Chad Feldheimer
- Richard Jenkins - Ted Treffon
- David Rasche - Palmer Smith
- J. K. Simmons - CIA Superior
- Jeffrey DeMunn - Cosmetic surgeon
- Elizabeth Marvel - Sandy Pfarrer
- Devin Rumer - Surveillance
- Olek Krupa - Krapotkin
- Dermot Mulroney - Star of Coming Up Daisy