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- Doc Daneeka: You're wasting your time
- Yossarian: Can't you ground someone who's crazy?
- Doc Daneeka: Oh, sure. I have to. There's a rule saying I have to ground anyone who's crazy.
- Yossarian: Then why don't you ground me? I'm crazy. Ask Clevinger.
- Doc Daneeka: Clevinger? Where is Clevinger? You find Clevinger and I'll ask him.
- Yossarian: Then ask any of the others. They'll tell you how crazy I am.
- Doc Daneeka: They're crazy
- Yossarian: Then why don't you ground them?
- Doc Daneeka: Why don't they ask me to ground them?
- Yossarian: Because they're crazy, that's why.
- Doc Daneeka: Of course they're crazy, I just told you they're crazy, didn't I? And you can't let crazy people decide if they crazy or not.
- Yossarian: Is Orr crazy?
- Doc Daneeka: He sure is.
- Yossarian: Can you ground him?
- Doc Daneeka: I sure can. But first he has to ask me to. That's part of the rule.
- Yossarian: Then why doesn't he ask you to?
- Doc Daneeka: Because he's crazy, He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he's had. Sure, I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to.
- Yossarian: That's all he has to do to be grounded?
- Doc Daneeka: That's all. Let him ask me.
- Yossarian: And then you can ground him?
- Doc Daneeka: No. Then I can't ground him.
- Yossarian: You mean there's a catch?
- Doc Daneeka: Sure there's a catch, Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy.
- Yossarian: That's some catch, that Catch-22.
- Doc Daneeka: It's the best there is