Cheese Chasers

Cheese Chasers is a 1951 Merrie Melodies cartoon directed by Chuck Jones, and starring Hubie and Bertie, as well as an appearance by Claude Cat. Mel Blanc plays Claude, Hubie and the dog; while Stan Freberg plays Bertie.

Dialogue

Hubie: Hey, Boit.

Bertie: Yeah-yeah, Hubie. What is it, huh? What is it?

Hubie: Let's quit.

Bertie: Yeah-yeah, sure-sure. I don't feel so good.

Hubie: Bert, an average mouse eats 12 pounds of cheese in a lifetime. I figure tonight we've lived 2000 years.

Bertie: Hubie, I'll never be able to touch this stuff again.

Hubie: Me neither. So there's nothing left to live for.

Bertie: You mean...?

[Hubie nods]

Hubie: Come on, Bert. Let's get it over with.

Bertie: Yeah, yeah. Over.

---

[Claude is inside a glass bottle, building a model ship from the outside]

Claude Cat: [to the audience] They say that a hobby sometimes helps

---

[Claude heads to the dog house. He punches the bulldog in the face. The bulldog runs out barking in anger. Then he looks back and sees Claude waiting for him, blindfolded and smoking a cigarette]

Dog: [ removing the cigarette and lifting the blindfold] Hey, cat, what gives? Why don'tcha run? Don'tcha know I'm gonna massacre ya?

Claude Cat: Yes, I know. And I want you to massacre me. Go ahead. Chew me up.

Dog: Now, wait a minute. Don't give me none of that guff.

Claude Cat: Please, Mr. Dog. Please, chew me to bits.

[The bulldog thinks "SOMETHING DECIDEDLY FISHY HERE", with a wooden sign with "SOMETHING DECIDEDLY FISHY HERE" in red pointing to a fishbowl with three goldfish]

Hubie: There's the cat, Bert. Let's get him.

Bertie: Yeah-yeah, sure-sure. [in unison with Hubie] Come on, Mr. Cat. Eat us! Eat us!

Claude Cat: No! Go away!

Dog: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Now, uh, you're a cat, right?

Claude Cat: Right.

Dog: And, uh, cats eat mice, right?

Claude Cat: No!

Dog: You - he-he - you're mice, right?

Hubie: Right.

Dog: And mice, they eat cheese, right?

Hubie and Bertie: Cheese? Ahh! Don't mention that word!

[The scene fades to black and the scene changes where the cheese has a sign that says "Exhibit A". Hubie and Bertie hold a sign that says "Exhibit B" and Claude Cat holds a sign that says "Exhibit C". Dog is at an adding machine]

Dog: Let's see now. Mice don't like cheese... [types on machine, pulls lever] ...and mice want cat to eat them. [types on machine, pulls lever again] Now then, cat don't wanna eat mice... [types on machine, pulls lever again] ...but cat wants dog to massacre him. [types on machine, pulls lever again, and looks at results] IT JUST DON'T ADD UP!!! [Dog then hears a dog catcher driving by and runs to it, and runs away from Claude, Hubie and Bertie] Hey, wait for me! Wait for baby!

Claude Cat: [while running up to Dog] Hey, wait for me! You gotta massacre me!

Hubie and Bertie: Wait, you cowardly cat!

[Hubie and Bertie run up to Claude Cat and the Dog as the closing credits start]

Voice cast

• Mel Blanc as Hubie, Claude Cat and Dog.
• Stan Freberg as Bertie. (uncredited)