Courage the Cowardly Dog

Courage the Cowardly Dog (1999–2002) is an American animated show about a pink and easily frightened but still brave dog named Courage, who lives in a farmhouse with Muriel Bagge, a friendly, sweet-natured yet naive Scottish woman; and Eustace Bagge, a grumpy, greedy farmer who regularly mistreats Courage and often refers to him as a stupid dog. Courage must constantly keep his owners and their home safe from various villains, monsters and supernatural phenomena.

Season 1

A Night at the Katz Motel [1.1a]

[The episode opens at the Katz Motel]

Eustace: [parks his truck with Muriel and Courage in tow] This looks like a crummy place to end a crummy vacation. [Thunder and lightning makes Courage scream and clings to Eustace. The family enters the lobby. The latter taps a service bell on the front desk thrice]

Katz: Welcome to the Katz Motel. I'm Katz. Would you please sign in? No dogs allowed.

Courage: But... but... [whines as Eustace brings him outside]

Muriel: Oh my...

Eustace: [Ties Courage's leash to a pole] KABOOM!!! [laughs, Muriel wacks him in the head with her purse] What did I do? Stupid dog.

Muriel: Oh, Courage, don't worry, it's only for a short time. [kisses Courage before walking away] Goodnight, Courage.

Courage: Maybe a goodnight for you. You'll be in a warm bed.

[The scene cuts to a bathroom where Muriel mumbles a song while undressing]

Eustace: [scratches his back] Can't wait to sleep in my own bed. Muriel. You hear me? (removes a part of the blanket to sit on the bed) Eh, what do you know? (lays on the bed and covers himself while mumbling quietly) ....bed... Ah. (starts snoring)

(Cuts to a black screen with the sound of a door being unlocked is heard. The light turns on to reveal 6 big spiders on a web inside an empty room)

Katz: My loves, dinner has arrived. Oh, and by the way, your web is such a mess. Clean it up, will you?

(Cuts to Eustace sleeping and snoring, then to a painting of a man above the bed. The eyes slide, as the yellow eyes of Katz look down upon Eustace)

(The scene cuts to Muriel getting ready to bathe, then the flow straightener of the tap slides to show the spying eye of Katz)

(The scene cuts again to Courage watching the shadow of Katz approaching the side of the Motel while still being hidden. Katz then puts a box down and carefully opens it. A spider crawls out and begins to advance towards Courage who howls)

(Courage screams. He uses a blowtorch, a chainsaw, an explosive chemical and finally uses his teeth to break the leash)

Courage: Yay! (runs away, as the spider stops near the leash)

(The scene cuts to Muriel bathing, as a spider emerges from the tap and falls into the bathtub)

Muriel: Finally, I can relax. (The spider gets closer to Muriel, then she notices it and screams)

(Cuts to Courage outside her motel room)

Courage: It's Muriel! She's in trouble! (tries to open the door) Muriel! Muriel!

(As Muriel screams, Courage brings in a cannon while wearing a helmet. He aims it at the window, before getting inside of it)

Courage: I hope this works! (fires himself through the window and into the room, as he tosses the helmet on the ground while Muriel is still screaming)

Muriel: AHHHHH! Courage, go get help, hurry!

(Cuts to Eustace sleeping, Courage enters the room and jumps on the bed)

Courage: WAKE UP! WAKE UP!

(Uses a set of tubas and explodes a bag full of air, he returns to Muriel)

Courage: OHHHH!

Muriel: Courage! Did you get any help?

(The bed with Eustace in it flips, leading Eustace down into a hole)

(Courage returns to the bed where Eustace was, noticing that it's empty, and starts running into the motel hallway while screaming, then he gets into the office room)

Courage: Help! Help! Help! Where is everybody? (steps behind the counter and slowly opens a private door as he enters)

(Eustace is seen stuck to a giant web in the middle of the room, despite still sleeping while wrapped up in webs. Above him, is a spider crawls down)

Courage: (howls) What do I do? What do I do? (rips a plank from the floor and uses it to kill the spider, before taking Eustace. Before he can leave, Katz stands in front of the door)

Katz: Leaving so soon?

(Courage howls again, before throwing Eustace at Katz)

Katz: I wish you hadn't done that.

(Courage runs downstairs shouting and stops in front of a door)

Courage: Now, what do I do? Now, what do I do? (enters the room, which is pitch black) Oh no, it's dark in here! (turns on the light, revealing the massive spider collection and screams)

(Right outside, Katz is about to open the door before Courage pushes down the door on top of him as he runs)

Katz: I wish you hadn't done that.

(Courage runs through a hallway while Katz follows him slowly, stopping in a room)

Courage: Oh no! (turns his head and watches Katz step out of the shadows)

Katz: There is no place to run and no place to hide.

(Cuts to Muriel fighting a spider)

(Cuts back to Katz bouncing a ball)

Katz: A little sport before dying, dear boy?

Courage: Do I have a choice?

(Katz and Courage start playing wallball)

(Cuts to Muriel throwing the spider in the toilet, and she flushes it)

(It cuts back to Katz and Courage playing, then to Muriel drying off with a towel, back to Courage and Katz, to Muriel putting shoes on, then to Courage hitting a wall and Katz sipping tea peacefully]

Muriel: [getting dressed; sarcastic] What a fine way to end a vacation.

Katz: [reads a book while Courage struggles to win] Hmm, how lovely.

Muriel: [searches for Eustace in the bedroom] Now where's that man gone to?

[The scene cuts to Courage sweating and being exhausted while Katz is still playing, launches the ball, bounces off the wall, and strikes Courage in the head, making him fall]

Katz: [walks over to Courage, looking down as he cracks his own head twice] Now you're going to learn why nobody ever checks out of the Katz Motel. [wraps his hand around Courage's throat and starts to laugh evilly as he pulls out a spider. Courage howls with fear and Katz is knocked out with a racket by Muriel as he drops the spider, which scurries away]

Muriel: Come on, Courage. We're leaving. The service here stinks. [The scene cuts to Muriel driving the family home, as Eustace is still sleeping while wrapped up in webs] That's a fancy blanket grandpa has on. Maybe we should get you one. [Courage screams]

THE END

Cajun Granny Stew [1.1b]

[An orange Cajun fox lives in a cave in the outskirts of Nowhere, cooking up a pot of granny stew]

Cajun Fox: Ooh-wee! This is gonna be good. Cup of lizard lips. Pair of elephant ankles. Tablespoon of turtle eyes. Ooh, ooh. I can't wait to win first prize for my granny stew. And one cute little old granny. [closes the cookbook] WHAT?! I ain't got one of them. Well, [puts on a pair of sunglasses] I'll just have to get me one.

---

Cajun Fox: [after driving off the cliff] That dog is becoming a real pain in my… [sinks underwater; gurgling]

---

Courage: This is all your fault!

Cajun Fox: My fault?!

Courage: Yeah, you're trying to make a stew out of her!

Cajun Fox: And a right GOOD one she gonna be!

Shadow of Courage [1.2a]

Eustace: BOOGA!! BOOGA!! BOOGA!!

---

Courage: I don't know how to make it in show biz, but up there [looks to the sky] are the real stars.

Dr. Le Quack, Amnesia Specialist [1.2b]

Muriel: Eustace, will you stop that noise?! You'll wake the neighbors!

Eustace: We ain't got no neighbors!

---

Le Quack: [to Muriel, playing her sitar] You must be le patient. Ah, let the therapy begin. [takes off his mustache disguise] Now… you remember nothing? Good. Good. To help you remember, where is le silverware? Ah. [walks up to the cabinet and searches through the drawers, but finds nothing; clicks tongue] This is not working. Ouh là là. Then we'll get you to remember.

---

[Le Quack, wearing a police uniform, is walking away from the destroyed police paddy wagon]

Le Quack: [stops the iris out from closing] Wait, you have not seen the last of Le Quack. [laughs evilly, then the iris out closes on his beak] Ouch!

Hothead [1.3b]

Eustace: You look good enough to me.

---

Courage: Something smells fishy, or my name's Shlinken Hoffer. And it's not.

---

Courage: "WARNING: When using, do not get angry, do not get mad, do not get upset, or else"?

Floyd: Oh my.

---

Di Lung: Watch where you're going, you fool.

Demon in the Mattress [1.4a]

Eustace: [reading an exorcism incantation] Hullabaloo, and howdy doo. Musty prawns, and Timbucktu. Yeltsy-by, and hibbety-hoo. Kick 'em in the dishpan. Hoo hoo hoo. Kick 'em in the dishpan, hoo hoo hoo?

Freaky Fred [1.4b]

Eustace: That freak's not setting one freaky foot in this house.

---

Fred: Hello new friend my name is Fred, the words you hear are in my head. I say, I said my name is Fred and I've been very..."NAUGHTY".

Night of the Weremole [1.5a]

Dr. Vindaloo: Hmm, there's nothing to worry about. It's nothing at all. Nothing at all. The swelling is going to go down. To go down. Just keep soaking it. There's nothing to worry about. Just keep soaking it.

Muriel: [Courage stammers] Now, now, I don't want to be any trouble.

Eustace: Then you shouldn't have gotten bit. Come on, you stupid dog.

Muriel: Thank you, doctor.

Dr. Vindaloo: Just keep soaking it.

[Back at the house… Courage and Eustace are watching TV in the living room, while Muriel is in the kitchen, soaking her hand in the sink for the swelling to go down; She then looks up at a full moon in the sky through the window, and starts shaking and moaning]

Eustace: Muriel, you're missing your favorite show! Muriel! [grumbles; to Courage] Go find her.

Courage: Ahhhhh!

---

Muriel: [turns around] Shh, I'm watching my favorite show.

Dr. Vindaloo: [takes out a tongue depressor stick] Now, I want you to open your mouth and say, "Ahh." [Muriel opens her mouth really wide with sharped teeth, bites him, and rapidly shakes him]

Mother's Day [1.5b]

Eustace: No, Ma. You always looked good to me.

The Duck Brothers [1.6a]

Courage: [pressing the buttons on the mind-control remote, making Muriel struggle to get up, bumping into the walls, and walking on the ceiling] How does this thing work? Come on, come on!

---

Italian Cook: Hey! Bring that duck back! What am I gonna serve?

Courage: Strudel.

Italian Cook: Oh, good idea.

Shirley the Medium [1.6b]

TV Commercial: Shirley the Medium can put you in touch with the hereafter, so you all can live — and die — happily ever after.

Muriel: What a wonderful idea! We could hire Shirley! You and your brother can lay your troubles to rest once and for all.

Eustace: Our differences are settled — he's dead and I ain't.

---

Shirley: [looking into her crystal ball] I see... I see... I see... a yo-yo.

Courage: Yes.

Shirley: I see a yo-yo. It is under the sofa.

---

Shirley: The stupid one. He opened the box, yes?

King Ramses' Curse [1.7a]

[Courage finds an Egyptian stone slab buried in the ground and brings it into the house]

Muriel: Oh, my. This looks very old. Eustace.

Eustace: Huh?

Muriel: Come look what Courage found. What do you suppose it could be?

Eustace: Well, judging by the markings and the obvious age of the relic, I'd have to say it would be...garbage!

Muriel: Eustace!

Eustace: Garbage! From King Garbage of the Garbage Dynasty. Stupid dog. Always bringing garbage into the house.

Newsman: But the big story today… million-dollar slab stolen from the Tomb of King Ramses.

Eustace: Huh? I'm rich!

Muriel: But the man said it was stolen, Eustace. We must return it to its rightful place.

Eustace: He said a million-dollar slab, and that means I get a million dollars. And you know what a million dollars means. That's right! New lawn chairs!

---

King Ramses: Return the slab.

Eustace: What?

King Ramses: Return the slab or suffer my curse.

Eustace: What's your offer?

King Ramses: This night, you will be visited by three plagues, each worse than the last. Return the slab.

Eustace: Huh. Nice try, professor. Who's he kidding? I can see the zipper on that cheap dime store costume.

Courage: Huh?

Muriel: Courage, did you leave the tap running?

---

King Ramses: Return the slab.

Muriel: Eustace, what are you waiting for? 'Til we're six feet under?

Eustace: [to King Ramses] All right, but a million's as low as I'll go.

---

Eustace: No, I can't believe I did that. It's mine! Huh? [to King Ramses] That's three plagues! You're out of ammo, mister! [snickers] And don't think you can come around here pushing no tote bags on us neither. What's your offer?

King Ramses: Return the slab.

[Eustace screams when the swarm of locusts return and devours him; Next morning…]

Professor Frith: [on TV] At last, the allegedly cursed slab has been returned to King Ramses' crypt, where it will remain buried in antiquity for all time.

Muriel: Oh, I wonder where Eustace is.

[Cut to the interior of King Ramses' crypt; The slab has been returned to its original state but the image of King Ramses has been replaced with Eustace]

Eustace: [echoing; offscreen] Aaaaaah! What's your offer?

The Clutching Foot [1.7b]

Muriel: Eustace, is there something wrong?

Eustace: My foot! My foot!

Muriel: Oh! Looks like you've got a fungus. Don't worry, Eustace. I know some family remedies. [The next morning, she and Courage try to heal Eustace's foot with various objects like cactus thorns, lobsters, and a vat of acid] Oh, dear. There's just one thing left to do.

Eustace: Ain't going to no doctor.

Muriel: You really should, Eustace.

Eustace: I ain't going.

Muriel: It's as big as a cow. You have to go.

Eustace: Make me.

Muriel: Ah, suit yourself. But I think it's starting to fester.

Eustace: All I need is a nap.

---

Muriel: Where is my Eustace? What have you done with my Eustace?!

Big Toe: Shut up, fat woman. You won't be needing your husband anymore, see?

---

[Courage places a sample of a foot fungus on the CD-ROM storage drawer of the Computer's hard drive for analysis]

Computer: YUCH! PTOOIE! Nasty! There's only one cure for that. Dog spit. Work up a good drool, baby.

The Hunchback of Nowhere [1.8a]

[As the Hunchback, Courage's new friend, is invited for pancakes for breakfast with Courage, Eustace enters the kitchen and screams at the Hunchback. He and Courage gasp]

Muriel: Oh!

Eustace: Didn't I tell ya we got no place for the likes of you? Now get, and stay out!

Muriel: Now, Eustace, he is Courage's friend.

Eustace: That makes it worse!

Muriel: Oh, Eustace, don't make such a fuss. Now sit down and eat your breakfast. I'll even get those little blueberries you like so much.

The Gods Must Be Goosey [1.8b]

[A lonely Goose God lives up in the heavenly clouds above the Bagge farmhouse, desperately searching for a queen to propose]

Goose God: [saddened] Empty. My heart is empty, and my clouds are full. [summons a lightning bolt and throws it at the windmill below, destroying it] A goose, a gander, a godly goosey gander, without love, is nothing but a fowl. [sadly sits in his throne chair] Without love, all of this is but puff and fluff and stuff. [honks in grief]

[Courage and Muriel come out of the house and place two flower pots on the porch]

Muriel: The coming rain should do these flowers good.

Eustace: [presses the horn on the truck's steering wheel while doing some repairs; annoyed] Darn horn.

Muriel: [calling out] Eustace? It'll be raining any minute now. You should come inside.

[Up in the heavens, the Goose God gazes down at Muriel and magically blooms the flower pot with flowers by sending down a ray of light, falling romantically in love with her]

Goose God: [devoted] Oh, pure and formless beauty. Oh, light, oh, sky, oh, baby's breath. You have grown solid. You have grown real. You have grown fat. You have grown real fat, and your name is…

Eustace: Muriel? Muriel!

Goose God: Muriel. If letters be in order, let them be in such order as to spell...Muriel.

Eustace: Muriel! Where's my pliers?

Goose God: I am filled, full, and dizzy. I am… a stuffed goose. [sighs] If I gaze at her longer, I shall be consumed. Has ever a Goose God gazed upon such unfeathered beauty, immortal flesh? Does a Goose God pursue a mortal woman? Does one who calls the clouds home love one who must floss? Does a Goose God love a Muriel? Eh, I'll give it a shot.

---

Goose God: [hiding in a barrel, holding flowers and a box of candy] Flowers. Candy. They pale in the wake of her beauty. [throws them out of the barrel]

---

[Courage babbles to Muriel as he points to the Goose God standing outside the door]

Muriel: Now, Courage, it's not polite to point.

Goose God: Mortal woman, I am here to pronounce eternal love for you.

Muriel: And you pronounced it perfectly.

Goose God: You do not understand. I present to you an expression of my love. This gift. [magically summons an endless field of flowers and Courage growls]

Muriel: Ah, that's sweet, but I'm spoken for.

Courage: Mm-hmm.

Muriel: But thank you. I've never had an endless field of flowers before. It's very flattering.

[Goose God sighs sadly and erases the endless flower field]

Eustace: Who was that?

Muriel: It was an admirer who offered me a field of flowers and his eternal love.

Eustace: Oh. You seen my screwdriver?

Courage: That goose better not try to take Muriel away. [growls] It's true.

---

Courage: One way or another, that goose has got to go.

---

Goose God: [heading over to Eustace's truck after hearing the sound of its horn] Oh, I have found you! I have found my true love! I have found my Queen!

Courage: [stammering] No. I am not his Queen.

Goose God: [lays on top of the truck's roof] Oh, speak to me again, my Queen. Make your sounds of love and longing.

---

Eustace: [regains consciousness and seesGoose God taking his truck up into the heavens, proposing it as his queen] Heh? My truck!

[A few days later…]

Muriel: [holding wedding invitations] Look, Courage. We've been invited to a wedding. The goose and Eustace's truck are going to get married.

Eustace: [sobbing over the loss of his truck] I'm nothing without my truck! Come back to me, truck! Come back!

Queen of the Black Puddle [1.9a]

[Courage kicks the bathroom door open and he and Muriel find Eustace sticking his head in the bathtub drain while taking a bath]

Muriel: Oh, my. I'm beginning to worry about you, Eustace. Tomorrow, we're off to see the doctor. That's all there is to it.

[Later that night… while the Bagges and Courage are asleep, the Black Puddle Queen rises from the puddle, enters the house, and walks upstairs to their bedroom, and rattles the doorknob, only to find that it's locked, and slips under the door]

Courage: [wakes up, screams, and hides under the covers] This can't be happening!

Black Puddle Queen: [walks over to Eustace's side of the bed] Eustace… [picks him up and carries him outside the house and disappears into the puddle]

---

Courage: [walks up to the puddle; sighs] The things I do for love. [then notices the puddle is beginning to shrink] Hey, is this puddle getting smaller? It is getting smaller! I better hurry before it closes up!

---

Muriel: [hugging Eustace] You're back! Oh, Eustace, you're back. Where have you been? [hits him on the head with a rolling pin]

Eustace: Ow! What did I do?

The Snowman Cometh [1.10a]

Snowman: The first frozen snowman. That's not too shabby.

---

Eustace: That's what I tell him all the time. You stupid dog, you stupid dog. He don't do nothin' right.

Heads of Beef [1.11a]

[Muriel is lying on the sofa, coming down with a fever]

Eustace: [feeling his stomach rumbling] Where's my dinner? You were gonna make hamburgers.

Courage: [checking her temperature] Is there a doctor in the house?

Muriel: Ah, Courage, you're a dear.

Eustace: Well, I… If you ain't feeding me, I'm going out to get me something to eat.

Muriel: It would be lovely if you could bring me a scone from the Sweet Stuff bakery.

Eustace: [growls] Okay.

Muriel: Courage, could you go along? He always forgets to get the right thing.

Courage: Oh, I know I'm not going to like this. [Eustace ends up passing the bakery along the way] But, but, but…

Eustace: Shut it. Got to get me a hamburger first.

---

Jean Bon: What would you like?

Eustace: Burger-- Big and juicy.

Jean Bon: One burger-- Big and juicy. [gestures to Courage] What about him?

Eustace: A small one, smallest you got.

---

Eustace: Where's my burger?

Jean Bon: Coming right up.

Courage: Something smells fishy, or my name is Stinky Lulu, and thank goodness, it's not.

Jean Bon's Wife: What a cute little dog. I could just eat him up.

---

Jean Bon's Wife: I still wanna sink my teeth into that cute little dog.

Klub Katz [1.11b]

Eustace: No sir. Not getting out of this chair.

---

Muriel: The fresh air, the blue seas, the sky forever.

Eustace: Blah blah blah! Where's my chair?

---

Eustace: Stupid helicopter dog!

---

Katz: Hey! That's my washing machine!

Eustace: Hey! That's my chair!

The Revenge of the Chicken from Outer Space [1.12a]

Eustace: Get away from me! [goes back to sleep] Stupid dog. [Courage then bashes him repeatedly with Muriel's slipper; off-screen] OWWW! YOU ROTTEN DOG!

---

[Courage and Muriel are sitting on the porch]

Muriel: Oh! There's Eustace with my slipper.

[Eustace, headless and carrying Muriel's slipper, walks towards Courage and Muriel]

Courage: [screams, then stops the iris out from closing] This still shouldn't happen to a dog. [The iris out closes on his nose] Ow!

Little Muriel [1.13a]

Newsman: This is the Nowhere Emergency Broadcast System. We interrupt this program with an emergency tornado watch. This is an emergency. Watch for a tornado.

Muriel: Oh, my! A tornado! We better get to the cellar! [finds herself stuck to her chair; grunting] Oh, my! I'm stuck! Courage, I thought you used the quick-drying paint on the chair.

Courage: [reading the can] "Quick-drying Glue?!" Oh, no!

---

Little Muriel: [after Courage makes Macaroni and Cheese] This stinks. I hate it this way.

Courage: What's wrong with it?

Little Muriel: Less cheese. More macaroni. Less macaroni. More cheese! More cheese and macaroni. TOO MUCH MACARONI! Ooh, perfect! I hate macaroni and cheese.

---

Courage: [really fed up] Okay, that's it. Go to your room!

Little Muriel: I don't wanna go to my room! [cries]

Courage: Don't cry. It'll be okay. Okay?

Little Muriel: Guess what I found. BOOGA! BOOGA! BOOGA!

The Great Fusilli [1.13b]

Fusilli: How now, brown cow.

Courage: Aaaaah! The things I do for love.

Season 2

The Magic Tree of Nowhere [2.1a]

Dr. Vindaloo: Tsk, tsk, tsk. This is the worst case of boli-boli I have ever seen.

Eustace: What?

Courage: No!

---

Eustace: CHOP! CHOP! CHOP! CHOP!

---

Instant Eel: Oh, Danny Boy. The pipes, the pipes are calling.

---

Dr. Vindaloo: Aha! Nothing to worry about. But, there's nothing I can do. [leaves the house]

[Courage yanks on his ears, hops around, and howls in frustration]

Eustace: This is all your fault, dog. You and that rotten tree. Now I gotta order take-out for breakfast. [picks Courage up and boots him out the front door] Stupid dog!

The Curse of Shirley [2.2a]

Muriel: Oh, Eustace, aren't you excited about your birthday party?

Eustace: Ain't gonna be no party.

---

Old Lady: Excuse me, sir, but would you please help me across the street?

Eustace: You got legs, don't you? Help yourself!

---

Eustace: [mumbling while sleeping] There ain't no curse.

Muriel: [wakes up, seeing the rain cloud curse soaking up the bed; disgusted] Eustace!

Eustace: Huh?

Muriel: The bed's getting soggy. If you can't do away with this curse, you're gonna have to sleep on the roof.

[Eustace is now sitting on the roof outside the house]

Eustace: Bah. Ain't no such thing as curses. [wipes the rain from his glasses] No way, no how. [takes off his glasses and wipes them with a cloth, but is startled by lightning strikes from the cloud, causing his glasses to fly out of his hand and land on the edge of the roof] Hey! My glasses! No! I can't see! Where?! Where?! [sees a TV antenna] Huh? Muriel, is that you? [hallucinates the antenna as a wiry monster, then rubs his eyes] You're not Muriel! [starts wrestling with the antenna as Courage comes up with a blanket] Get off my roof! I don't know who you are! [sees Courage] Huh? Huh? [hallucinates him as a giant, sharp-toothed fish, then growls in rage] No solicitors! [charges towards Courage, who screams in fear, and grabs him by the throat] Now you get! We don't want any! [throws Courage off the roof]

---

[Courage, Muriel, Ma Bagge, and Dr. Vindaloo are all in the dining room to celebrate Eustace's birthday party, but he's still on the roof]

Muriel: Rain or no rain, that man should really come to his own birthday party. [calling him through the stove] Eustace, get down here this instant! [Eustace is removing some mushrooms that are growing on his body; through chimney pipe] Eustace, did you hear me? What are you doing up there?!

Eustace: Huh? [hallucinates the chimney pipe as a snake]

Muriel: Your guests are waiting!

Eustace: No solicitors. Especially at this hour! You want a piece of me? You want a piece of me?! [rips off a piece of roof plank, then charges towards the chimney pipe and dives in it; then comes out of the stove, scaring everyone while covered in soot]

[Courage hides behind Muriel and Ma and Dr. Vindaloo run out of the house]

Muriel: Oh, my. [annoyed] Now see what you went and done, Eustace?! You scared off your guests!

Eustace: Huh?

Muriel: And you're leaving a ring on the floor! [holds out a coaster] Here, stand on this coaster.

Eustace: [retorting] You can't fool me! [hallucinates her as a monster] Who? You're not Muriel! [grabs her and pins her down on the floor] One, two, three, I win!

---

Shirley: The stupid one. He's stupid, right?

---

Muriel: You know, Eustace. You should thank Courage for getting rid of that curse.

Eustace: [takes the thermometer out of his mouth and notices Courage wearing his hat] What you doing with my hat, dog? Bah! [snatches the hat from Courage and puts it on his own head, causing the rain cloud curse to reappear] Bah! There ain't no such thing as a curse. [gets struck by lightning] Bah!

Family Business [2.3a]

Basil: Zip your mouth shut, dag. Or I'll be fishing you again, I will.

Courage Meets the Mummy [2.4a]

Muriel: [pouring a cup of tea for Professor Frith and offers it to him] This should make you feel better, Mr. Frith. Now, tell us what happened to you, you poor man.

Professor Frith: What's happened to me isn't important. What's important is what might happen to you and what happened thousands of years ago. The clothing in this sack tells the story. [takes the Mayan princess' outfit out of his sack] This belonged to a Mayan princess a long time ago. The princess loved cookies. Each day, the royal baker would whip up a jar full of cookies for the princess. The cookie jar was (then) brought to the princess by her most trusted royal Poohbah. And before he would give the cookies, the greedy Poohbah would steal cookies from the jar and sell them for his own profit. One day, the baker caught the Poohbah and went to tell the princess, but the Poohbah got to her first. The Poohbah presented the princess with cookie jars that were only half-full, and said the baker was stealing the missing cookies. The princess was outraged, and ordered the baker to have his mouth sewn shut, his eyebrows plucked, and his body mummified. Most unpleasant. [chuckles] That baker is now a centuries-old mummy. And he's risen. And he's seeking revenge. And he's on his way to this very spot at this very moment.

Muriel: Why here? Why us?

Professor Frith: [takes out a scroll from his sack and opens it] Here is an ancient drawing of the princess and the Poohbah.

[Eustace and Muriel gasp in surprise, seeing that they look just them]

Muriel: They look just like we do!

---

Eustace: [offering Muriel a jar of cookies] Here, my princess, is your daily supply of royal cookies.

Muriel: Thank you, most trusted royal Poohbah. [opens the lid; sniffs] Oh, they smell heavenly. My compliments to the royal baker.

Eustace: Yeah, yeah, compliments, sure.

Muriel: [looks inside the jar and sees there are no cookies] Hmm.

Eustace: Something wrong, your princess-ness?

Muriel: There seems to be some cookies missing from the royal cookie jar. Royal Poohbah, do you know who could be responsible for such a terrible crime?

Eustace: Ain't me. Got me sugarcane.

---

Muriel: It was you all along, no-longer-trusted Poohbah. I order you to have your lips sewn shut, your eyebrows plucked, and the rest of you mummified! [Eustace screams in defeat; to the mummified baker] Sorry, royal baker. I goofed. You're exonerated of the crimes of which you are accused.

Invisible Muriel [2.4b]

Muriel: [enters the kitchen] Eustace, I'll get to making dinner, as soon as I'm done cooking that batch of my special secret recipe, Blue Ribbon dog food. [Eustace spits in disgust, pulls out his tongue, and scrubs it with a brush] This batch is for the county dog food contest.

---

[Muriel eats her pancakes, completely invisible, visibly showing the chewing]

Eustace: Muriel, close your mouth when you chew.

Human Habitrail [2.5a]

Old Lady Inside Vacuum Cleaner: Let me lay down the ground rules: This is my half of the lint, that's your half of the lint. Remember that and we won't have no trouble.

Mission to the Sun [2.5b]

Eustace: Lousy, stinkin' tube food! [tastes the tube food] Hey, this ain't half-bad!

---

Eustace: Stupid space!

Courage the Fly [2.6a]

Di Lung: [after turning Courage into a fly] I don't think so. Supposed to be buffalo. Don't know how, but I go back and work on problem. Should be buffalo...Fly...I don't think so.

---

Courage: I don't know why I'm doing this. But I like it.

---

Eustace: [presses the fly-paper into Muriel's face] Muriel, your face keeps getting in the way! [accidentally rips off her face as it's stuck to the fly-paper] You ruined my good fly-paper!

Muriel: [threateningly] Eustace, put my face back where it belongs, or it's cold cuts for dinner! [Eustace places her face back on her head, but in upside-down; annoyingly unamused] Oh, you are cheeky. [Eustace rotates her face back to its right side up position; she then bashes him on the head with a rolling pin, making sure he never does that again]

Eustace: OW!!! [dizzily] What did I do?

---

Eustace: Stupid dog-fly!

---

Di Lung: [after turning the general and lieutenant into buffalos] I make you different!

Katz Kandy [2.6b]

Eustace: Stupid water.

---

Katz: Second place. Second place. I'm quite tired of second place. Second place is no place as far as I'm concerned. This year, I will win the Nowhere Sweet Stuff Contest. First prize will be mine.

---

Katz: So good of you to come. I hope you found my jam tasty. [chuckles evilly]

Muriel: What do you want with us?

Katz: You see, dear lady and dog, it's been my misfortune to place second year after year in the Nowhere Sweet Stuff Contest. Sad, isn't it?

Muriel: If it's the secret ingredient in my caramel-coated apples you're wanting, you're out of luck.

Nowhere TV [2.7a]

Le Quack: [finds Courage in the bag after getting a single dollar bill] You pesky little dog. I thought I got rid of you. [strangles him by the throat, choking him] What have you done with le money?! [Courage pokes him in the eyes and runs off] Ouch! Ouh là là! [growls, then chases after him into a room full of televisions] I have you now, you dirty little dog.

Mega Muriel the Magnificent [2.7b]

[Courage watches the Computer, possessing Muriel's body, about to launch out of a big cannon on the TV in horror]

Newsman: She's fearless. She's amazing. She's Mega Muriel the Magnificent!

Bad Hair Day [2.8a]

Dr. Vindaloo: I was confused by my submarine.

---

Ma Bagge: Now, Courage, come to Ma like a good doggy.

---

[Muriel is sipping tea as Courage uses tweezers to pull out hair from her legs. Eustace arrives home, covered from head to toe in hair, laughing]

Muriel: Eustace! What happened to you?

Eustace: [pulls out stacks of money, happily] Money! [starts laughing]

Forbidden Hat of Gold [2.8b]

Muriel: [reading the poem sign] "Whomever steps inside this place, must vanity and greed erase. For if you're vain, well, that's no good. Signed, all of us who wear a hood. P.S.: We warned you."

Eustace: Gobbledygook.

Muriel: Sounds like people who love themselves and their money more than anything else aren't welcome here.

Eustace: Big deal.

---

Eustace: [coming across the golden hat] It's beautiful! I'd sure look good wearing that hat. [imagines himself wearing the hat and in a pile of gold and cash; laughs as he reaches his hand for the hat, but Muriel smacks it away] OW!

Muriel: Can't you read? [points to a sign, reading…] "Do not touch."

Eustace: Nope. [chuckles and takes the golden hat, ignoring the sign]

[The cave suddenly starts to rumble and crumble]

Muriel: Now see what you went and done, Eustace?

---

Eustace: [After being turned to ashes by the effects of the golden hat] Stupid hat!

The Transplant [2.9b]

Muriel: Oh, you are cheeky. [annoyingly smacks Professor Frith in the face]

---

[Courage has transformed into a kangaroo monster and faces off against Eustace in Paris, France to save Muriel]

Courage: Put Muriel down!

Eustace: Make me!

McPhearson Phantom [2.11b]

[While Muriel folds the last shirt, Courage is relaxing inside a wash basket]

Muriel: Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards. Ah, the power of doing housework. [puts the last shirt on top of the three shirts she had already folded. Eustace, wearing a towel, walks into the room. He grabs his shirt that was underneath the three shirts Muriel had folded and pulls it out, causing the three shirts to fall to the floor; annoyed] Eustace.

Eustace: Uh, sorry. You had the pile upside down.

[As Muriel picks up the three shirts, Eustace takes off his towel and starts to put on his shirt. Muriel starts to fold a shirt]

Muriel: Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards. Arms in, shoulders back, bend over backwards.

[Eustace starts to button his shirt, but his arms are telekinetically pulled straight down and bended backwards and his back is telekinetically bended backwards. Courage gasps in horror]

Eustace: Muriel, you folded me clothes too tight. What are you trying to do to me?

Muriel: I didn't do anything different, just the usual wash and fluff and fold. Must be the new detergent I'm using.

[Eustace grumbles angrily. He uses his feet to push himself up and walks out while muttering to himself. Courage and Muriel watch on]

---

[While Eustace reads his newspaper, Muriel polishes his shoes]

Muriel: Beautiful. A good shine can make an old woman look young again.

Eustace: [lowers his newspaper] Ain't nothing gonna make you young again. [puts down his newspaper] So just give me my shoes.

Muriel: [gets up and gives Eustace his shoes] Here you are, [Eustace takes his shoes from her] crabby.

Eustace: [puts on his shoes] Eh, who needs them polished anyway? Just gonna get scuffed. Stupid as showering.[Courage is gnawing on an anchor when Eustace's shoes explode] Muriel! What are you trying to do to me? [grabs his leg] Next time you wanna blow up my shoes, take 'em out back!

Muriel: But I shined them just like always. Maybe they've changed the shoe polish formula.

---

[Eustace is standing outside when Muriel comes out with his hat]

Muriel: There it is for you, Eustace. I steamed it and blocked it, like always. [gives Eustace his hat]

[Courage comes outside sniffing]

Eustace: Thanks. [takes his hat from Muriel and puts it on his head, but the two chickens that were inside the hat start pecking on Eustace's head. Eustace runs around screaming in pain]

[Courage and Muriel watch on]

Muriel: Must be something new they're putting in the steam.

---

[Muriel is sitting with Courage on the rocking chair]

Muriel: Some therapist she is. If only we had someone here who could really help.

[Courage gets an idea. He runs upstairs]

---

[Courage is in the attic, typing on the Computer's keyboard]

Computer: You want to be a licensed therapist? A twit like you? [Courage types on the keyboard repeatedly] Okay. Don't get testy. I happen to be certified to certify. Just answer these questions and you'll have your license.

Courage: Mm-hm.

Computer: One: How do you spell "our time is up; pay me lots of money"? [Courage types on the keyboard repeatedly] There's no "Q" in "Cincinnati", twerp. Next question: If Johnny has three apples and Davey has two apples, why don't they just shut up and eat?

[Courage is unsure on how to answer the question]

---

Computer: Congratulations. You are now a fully licensed therapist. [the printer prints out a therapist license, which Courage takes out and looks at. He runs out] Word of advice: just keep nodding and don't say anything. And so, Western civilization crumbles.

The House of Discontent [2.12a]

Spirit of the Harvest Moon: GET OUT.

Muriel: Well that's not very polite!

Spirit of the Harvest Moon: You didn't let me finish.

Muriel: I'm sorry.

Spirit of the Harvest Moon: It's time to hit the road.

Muriel: Well, that's not much better!

---

Eustace: I'm a farmer! Farmer, farmer, farmer! Ain't stubborn! Ain't, ain't, ain't!

---

Eustace: At least I got arms and legs, you don't even got a neck. Ha ha ha!

Spirit of the Harvest Moon: Get out of my face.

Eustace: Make me.

Spirit of the Harvest Moon: Wait until midnight comes around.

The Sand Whale Strikes [2.12b]

Sand Whale: You're trying to cheat me like you cheated me before, lckett Bagge. You won that accordion off me in a crooked card game a long time ago and I want it back.

Eustace: Naw. I ain't lckett, I ain't got no accordion, and I don't wanna be talking to no whale.

The Tower of Dr. Zalost [2.13]

Dr. Zalost: What's the good of having all the money in the world if it doesn't bring any happiness? And if I'm not happy, no one deserves to be happy.

Season 3

Muriel Meets Her Match [3.1a]

Muriel: I guess the only thing I can see without my glasses is Eustace's big shiny head.

Courage vs. Mecha-Courage [3.1b]

Di Lung: [laughs] I told you I built better dog. Why You No give up?! Dog! You no good, give me up dog! No Good!

Campsite of Terror [3.2a]

Di Lung: Get rich quick! It works REAL great, I did it, and so can you! All you have to do to learn the secret of my success is send me money! Thats right, it's as simple as that, get out your checkbook, credit card and wallet and send them to ME! When I came to this country, three weeks ago, I only had a nickel. Now I own three apartment buildings and a fleet of limousines!

Stormy Weather [3.3a]

Muriel: [comes out of the house, seeing Courage playing with the Storm Goddess; surprised] Oh, isn't that lovely? Courage, you've made a friend. [Courage shakes his head in denial that the Storm Goddess is not his friend] Please, come in and have a cup of tea.

Storm Goddess: I'd love to. [enters the house as Courage moans worriedly] You know, Muriel, the life of a goddess isn't always so heavenly.

Muriel: No, I suppose being a storm goddess isn't easy.

Storm Goddess: Oh, it's just... I've lost my precious dog, Duncan.

Muriel: Oh, my. I know just how you feel. If I ever lost Courage, I don't know what I'd do.

Storm Goddess: Actually, your dog reminds me of Duncan. [takes out a locket and opens it with a photo of Duncan] Isn't the resemblance uncanny?

Muriel: Oh, yes. They look exactly alike.

Storm Goddess: I miss him so much. [sighs sadly]

The Ride of the Valkyries [3.4b]

Eustace: Idiot TV! Talk normal!

Curtain of Cruelty [3.6b]

Mayor: [as Eustace passes him while chasing Courage] What's that crazy man chasing that sweet little dog for? Do we want a mayor like that?!

Townspeople: NO!

Mayor: Arrest and reeducate him!

Feast of the Bullfrogs [3.7a]

Eustace: Lousy stinkin' frogs! I'm getting me mallet!

So in Louvre Are We Two [3.8a]

Guard: You must not enter le museum now, Madame. It is only five minutes until closing.

Eustace: Good. I'm tired.

Muriel: But I've got to see the Mona Lisa. My mother always said Mona and I were like twins. Don't you agree?

Guard: [groans] You look nothing like the Mona Lisa, and I give you five minutes to go see for yourself. Stupid America.

---

Muriel: [seeing the Mona Lisa on the wall] Look! There she is. The most famous painting in the world. All because of her mysterious smile. I want to get a picture of me and the Mona Lisa.

---

Eustace: Hey, stupid dog. [grabs Courage by the ears and drags him over to the sculpture of Auguste Rodin's The Thinker] Take a picture of me with this idiot. "The Thinker," huh? I know what he's thinking. "How come there's no TV set?"

---

Muriel: I want to see Mona one more time.

Night of the Scarecrow [3.8b]

[Courage, Muriel, and Eustace get stuck in a cornfield ditch after leaving a county fair and ended up getting attacked by a flock of crows]

Eustace: Must be stuck in a ditch! [pounds the wheel, grumbling in frustration]

Muriel: Now, Eustace, getting all unhinged isn't going to help. Like my Aunt Gertrude always said... [screams in terror when she sees something coming towards them]

[A black creature appears in the cornfield, groaning, and banging its fists rapidly on the truck's hood]

Eustace: Hey, you! [presses the horn, scaring the creature, revealing to be a scarecrow that was carried by a pack of crows after they fly away, and it lands on top of the hood, causing him and Muriel to scream in fear]

Mondo Magic [3.9a]

Dr. Vindaloo: I am no longer a head of lettuce!

Watch the Birdies [3.9b]

Eustace: Where's my breakfast, woman? I'm starving to death!

---

Eustace: I like to feed the birdies to the cats!

Dome of Doom [3.11a]

Eustace: Food? Food? I need food! Where's my lunch?

Muriel: Right here.

---

Courage: Ingredients: Hornets, Pythons, Piranhas!? OH, NO!

---

Eustace: Want more... food. AAAH! Oh, wicket! Where's my dinner?

Snowman's Revenge [3.11b]

The Snowman: Ah. Tutti frutti.

King of Flan [3.13a]

Eustace: What happened to you, woman? You look like a house!

Muriel: [offended] Look who's calling the kettle black.

Season 4

Le Quack Balloon [4.3a]

[Courage is helping Muriel bake Scottish dream cookies while is Eustace is looking everywhere for his glasses]

Eustace: [entering the kitchen; blindsided] Muriel! You seen my glasses?! [whacks the tub of butter out of Courage's hand and it falls on him, covering him in butter]

Muriel: No, I haven't. Did you misplace 'em?

Eustace: [grumbling] Yes, I misplaced them! [bumping into objects] Oww!

Muriel: Courage you better help Eustace find his glasses. Be his guide dog. We wouldn't want him to lose his way.

Eustace: [retorting] Get away from me!

---

Le Quack: Le Quack is back!

---

[Courage and Eustace catch up to Le Quack's hot air balloon as they reach New York]

Eustace: Where are we now?

The Uncommon Cold [4.4a]

[Muriel is coming down with a terrible cold and is sneezing uncontrollably]

Eustace: [getting eggs on his face as Muriel sneezes] What are you trying to do?! Get me sick?! Oh! [eats the eggs with no concern]

Muriel: I'm sorry, Eustace. This is the worst cold I've ever… [starts to sneeze again]

Farmer Hunter, Farmer Hunted [4.4b]

Eustace: I ain't useless! I'm Eustace!

---

Father Deer: Every hunting season it's the same thing. We can't take it anymore. I'm gonna put an end to our living in fear. I'm going hunting! [holds his gun] A deer's gotta do what a deer's gotta do.

---

Muriel: You know, Courage, that deer reminds me a wee bit of Eustace.

Eustace: I'm a deer! Useless the deer!

Muriel Blows Up [4.6a]

Muriel: And now, I have the strangest feeling I'm not going to explode at all. [burps up a bloated Courage, and he lands on the ground with a thud; shrinks to her normal size] Oh, my.

Eustace: Hey! Who's got my carrot?! [Courage belches, laughs, and grows giant-sized; annoyed] You dumb dog.

Courage: Oh, no! [runs off]

Eustace: Come back here with my carrot! [chases after him]

The Mask [4.7]

Kitty: Dogs are evil.

---

Mad Dog: I take you from a two-bit joint and make you a class act, and you want to make me second rate? If I even SMELL Kitty, I'll bury the two of you!

---

Muriel: Oh, Eustace. I'm sorry for all the terrible things I said.

Eustace: That's okay Muriel, nobody's perfect.

[They embrace]

Muriel: I wonder where Courage has run off to.

Eustace: Who cares?

Squatting Tiger, Hidden Dog [4.8a]

Di Lung: This not acupuncture, this de-boning, I'm taking out your bones.

Muted Muriel [4.8b]

Muriel: I've had it with you not caring what I think or say!

Eustace: They should make a remote that shuts off people!

Muriel: Don't worry, I'm shutting myself off! I'm not speaking anymore, listen to the TV all you want. You won't be hearing from me again! [Courage tries to protest] Sorry, Courage. My voice isn't welcome in this house, so I'm keeping my thoughts to myself.

Eustace: What? I wasn't listening.

---

Eustace: Hey, stupid dog, Muriel talking yet?

Courage: Mm-mm.

Eustace: Well go get her to talk, dog! I wanna know if she's gonna make me breakfast!

Aqua-Farmer [4.9a]

Muriel: Eustace, what took you so long?

Eustace: We had to work out a deal for the rematch. If I lose, you're gonna have to pack up your things and move in with the dolphin, and be his sidekick.

Muriel: [shocked] Oh, dear. [has a thought bubble about living with Jojo as a mermaid]

Courage: [horrified] No!

Last of the Starmakers [4.10a]

[Courage and Muriel watch the mother Starmaker transform into a beautiful lush garden with flowers and bushes as her body disintegrates into the ground after her babies hatched and float into space]

Muriel: How lovely. She's becoming a garden. From making stars above, to making flowers on the Earth. Now that's the mystery of life it is.

Ball of Revenge [4.11b]

Eustace: Courage, Courage, Courage! That stupid dog gets all the good stuff around here! I hate that dumb dog!

Muriel: Oh, don't you fret, Courage. He doesn't hate you. [pats Courage on the head as he whimpers sadly, thinking Eustace hurt his feelings]

Eustace: [walks into the kitchen and picks up the phone] Time for that dog to git... for good! Operator, I'm gonna need a few numbers. [chuckles evilly]

[Later that evening… Katz, Le Quack, Cajun Fox, the Weremole, the Black Puddle Queen and the Clutching Foot are all assembled and gathered in the basement, sitting at a table]

Eustace: [sitting in the head chair] Well, I'm a man of few words. So, let's just get down to the nitty gritty. What are we here for?

Villains: Revenge!

Eustace: [snickers sinisterly] And who are we going to destroy?

Villains: That stupid dog!

---

Muriel: Eustace, what's all the ruckus?

Eustace: What ruckus?

Villains: Destroy the stupid dog!

Eustace: Eh...

Cajun Fox: Lie, man, lie.

Eustace: That's my friends. It's a men's club. And no dogs allowed.

---

[Courage runs down to the basement, sees Muriel above the boiling cauldron, and screams, and the Clutching Foot pins him down with his toes]

Big Toe: Remember us?

Pinky Toe: Yeah, remember us?

[The other villains come forward and glare down at Courage]

Courage: [horrified] Oh, no!

Big Toe: You licked us good, see?

Cajun Fox: Cooked us good, too. Remember that?

Muriel: Oh. What are you gonna do to my Courage?

Big Toe: Now we're gonna put the squeeze on you, see?

---

Muriel: Courage, what big lungs you have.

Cabaret Courage [4.12a]

Di Lung: Watch where you going, you fool!

Remembrance of Courage Past [4.13a]

[Flashback to the first time Courage met Muriel]

Muriel: Oh my. Poor thing, out here all alone... what courage you have. Would you like to come home with me?

[Courage cries in joy]

Muriel: I'll call you Courage, we'll have a grand time.

Cruel Veterinarian: "May I talk with the two of you for a moment? In private?"

Cruel Veterinarian: "I know just what to do with the dog, but I like to have a moment with him, alone."

Cruel Veterinarian: "Ready for the trip? It's your turn now!"

Opening

Newsman: We interrupt this program to bring you...Courage the Cowardly Dog Show, starring Courage, the Cowardly Dog! Abandoned as a pup, he was found by Muriel, who lives in the middle of Nowhere with her husband, Eustace Bagge.

Eustace: GAH!

Newsman: But creepy stuff happens in Nowhere. It's up to Courage to save his new home!

[TV turns off]

Eustace: Stupid dog! You made me look bad! [angrily puts on mask] OOGA BOOGA BOOGA!

Courage: AHHHHHHHHH!!!

Cast

• Marty Grabstein - Courage
• Thea White - Muriel Bagge
• Lionel Wilson - Eustace Bagge (Seasons 1-3)
• Arthur Anderson - Eustace Bagge (Seasons 3-4)
• Simon Prebble - Computer
• Paul Schoeffler - Dr. Vindaloo, Katz, Le Quack, Nowhere Newsman, Snowman, Cajun Fox, Freaky Fred
• Billie Lou Watt - Ma Bagge
• Peter Fernandez - The Magic Tree, Horst Bagge
• Allen Swift

External links

• Courage the Cowardly Dog quotes at the Internet Movie Database