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Ctrl+Alt+Del (CAD) is a gaming-related webcomic written by Tim Buckley, known online as Absath.
- Ethan: A talking, flying bottle of booze? Great, I've fucking snapped.
- Ethan: And yet, if I were to sneak in at night and plant an axe into your skull, I would go to jail. How is that justice?!
- Lucas: No! Fuck you! I am NOT downloading 160GB of porn for you!
- Ethan: See, you're cute. You can't be a cute girl and play video games. This would tear the fabric of the universe.
- Grisham J. Hardbottle, P.I.: Like a tree, cut down in its prime, I was stumped.
- Ethan: A part of me has died today. It's all Britney Spears' fault.
- Lucas: "...And then every single one of my brain cells cried out in joyful unison, that they would be spared further torment at the hands of this fucknut-saturated environment."
- Casey Collins: Girls aren't objects. They're people too. Treat them as such. Because remember - It's pretty fucking hard to play video games with broken thumbs!
- Lucas: You have an incredible ability to make me feel remarkably less self-conscious about my own geekiness.
- Ethan: Who dares knock on my door when I'm doing stuff, so that I have to get up, and stop doing stuff?
- Chef Brian: Yes Clancy! My existential shell is filled with the dreams of wild chipmunks! Thank you for asking!
- Lilah: I'm going to die at the hands of an X-Box.. how embarrassing.
- Emma: Maybe if rock-climbing required a directional pad, you'd be more willing. Oh, maybe we can find a video game that lets us pretend to be out doing something exciting.
- Zeke: Relax, I'm not going to squash your skull with a single hand or anything like that.
- Ethan: Phone, pillow says he'll suffocate me if you don't shut the hell up. I'm being held hostage by the bed linens. My life is in your hands, phone.
- Ethan: Books are only for deaf and blind people that can't enjoy movies.
- Lucas: A gaming religion, eh? That sounds like another excuse to wear a silly hat and get himself or our personal belongings broken.
- Ethan: Demos are like conjugal visits. They give you a taste and then snatch it away, leaving you wanting more.
- Home Depot Employee: Yep, I've got just what you're looking for. This is our Colombian Drug Lord series of balcony railings and window frames. They all come equipped with stylish tie-hooks for easy access should you, your family, or a raiding law enforcement agency want to rappel down to a lower level instead of using the stairs. No villa hideout should be without them!
- Zeke: This is all backwards. Humans are supposed to be my bitches.
- Ethan: This is five liters, man. That's like a hundred of our American gallons.
- Ethan: That's the 'idiot tax'. It's our fee for having to put up with your stupid questions.
- Mickey: I've never sarcasmed someone into a coma before, but I'm up for the challenge.