Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions (2017) by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Dear Ijeawele is an epistolary manifesto composed of 15 suggestions. It’s intended audience is parents who want to raise their daughters as feminists. The book functions both as a parenting guide for raising girls to be empowered, independent women, and as a sort of field guide for feminism that anyone can use to live a more feminist life.the work is the product of a correspondence between Adichie and her friend Ijeawele. Ijeawele just gave birth to a baby girl, Chizalum, and asked Adichie for advice on how to raise her to be a feminist. Adichie’s response forms the basis of this manifesto, which was first published by Knopf Publishers in 2017.

Quotes

• I matter. I matter equally. Full stop”
  • Page 8
• can you reverse X and get the same results?”
  • Page 8
• life just does its thing”
  • Page 9
• Be a full person”
  • Page 9
• loving what you do is a great gift to give your child”
  • Page 10
• reject the language of ‘help’”
  • Page 13
• Teach her that the idea of ‘gender roles’ is absolute nonsense”
  • Page 14
• because you’re a girl’ should never be a reason for anything”
  • Page 15
• Beware the danger of what I call Feminism Lite”
  • Page 21
• hollow, appeasing, and bankrupt”
  • Page 21
• he’s driving but you’re in the front seat” ** page 21
• Teach Chizalum to read”
  • Page 25
• Teach her to question Language”
  • Page 26
• Never speak of marriage as an achievement”
  • Page 30
• women sacrifice more at a cost to themselves” to make relationships work
  • Page 31
• Teach her to reject likeability”
  • Page 36
• We condition girls “to be likeable, to be nice, to be false”
  • Page 37
• Give Chizalum a sense of identity”
  • Page 39
• it values community and consensus and hard work, and the language and proverbs are beautiful and full of great wisdom”
  • Page 39
• “a woman can’t do certain things just because she’s a woman and that is wrong”
  • Page 39
• Be deliberate about how you engage with her appearance”
  • Page 41
• non-slim, non-white women are [also] beautiful”
  • Page 45
• to protect her from looking at her own reflection with dissatisfaction”
  • Page 46
• Teach her to question our culture’s selective use of biology as ‘reasons’ for social norms”
  • Page 48
• Talk to her about sex, and start early”
  • Page 50
• vague semi-threats about how ‘talking to boys’ would end up with us being pregnant and disgraced”
  • Page 50
• her body belongs to her and her alone, [and] that she should never feel the need to say yes to something she does not want”
  • Page 51
• Romance will happen, so be on board”
  • Page 54
• In teaching her about oppression, be careful not to turn the oppressed into saints”
  • Page 58
• saintliness is not a prerequisite for dignity”
  • Page 58
• Teach her about difference”
  • Page 59
• The first is your premise, the solid unbending belief that you start off with. What is your premise? Your feminist premise should be: I matter. I matter equally. Not ‘if only.’ Not ‘as long as.’ I matter equally. Full stop.”
  • Page Page 8
• Motherhood is a glorious gift, but do not define yourself solely by motherhood. Be a full person. Your child will benefit from that.”
  • Page Page 9

External links

• Super summary
• Super summary quotes