Dexter's Laboratory

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Dexter's Laboratory is an American animated television series created by Genndy Tartakovsky for Cartoon Network. It centers on a boy genius who uses inventions to solve problems in his life.


Dimwit Dexter[edit]

  • Factory Worker #1: Sir, he can't make much long!
  • Factory Worker #2: Just a little longer.
  • Factory Worker #3: His sim asses are firing in arming incredibly rage.
  • Factory Worker #4: Puncher rising!
  • Factory Worker #5: She can't take it!
  • Factory Worker #6: She's gonna blow!
  • [Angrily, Dexter's face turns red, and Dexter begins to let out a loud yell with rage]
  • Factory Worker #7: RUN! [The factory workers flee and run away]
  • [Cut to the outside of Dexter's Lab, Dexter explodes his clothes off and causes fires in his lab]
  • [The same explosion, the brain factory explodes]
  • [After the explosion, Dexter was seen naked and filled with rage]
  • Factory Worker #8: Shut it down.
  • [The factory workers shut down the emotion factory]
  • [After the emotion factory shuts down, Dexter is seen naked and emotionless]
  • Factory Worker #9: He said all the systems have shut down.
  • Neighbor Boy: Hey, everyone! Dexter's running around in his underpants! [echoing] Underpants! Underpants! Underpants!
  • [As Dexter fills himself to maximum capacity with a water nose,he sprays water everywhere]

Season 1[edit]

Dee Deemensional [1.1a][edit]

[first lines]
[Alarm clock beeping]
Dee Dee: Uhh… Dexter?
[Dexter and Dee Dee are flung across the laboratory]
[A monster appears and growls]
[Dexter tries shooting the monster with lasers and tries dropping a bomb on the monster]
[Dexter gets flung in front of Dee dee and breathes heavily]
Dexter: I am afraid we have run out of time dear sister! [Dexter starts writing on a paper] Only one hope left! We must send a message to the past, stop this from happening! [The pencil Dexter is writing with snaps] Drat… [Dexter goes to his pencil sharpener to sharpen the pencil while being pulled back from the monster] It is up to you, Dee Dee! [The monster shakes salt on Dexter and eats him] Use my time machine! Go back into… the past… and give me this message…! [Dexter pushes his arm out of the monster]
Dee Dee: Ewww! Gross!
Dexter: Take it! Give it to me in the past or I may not have a future! [Dee Dee turns the knob to the past] Dee Dee, you have to be inside the machine!
Dee Dee: Like this? [Dee Dee then disappears from the machine]
Dexter: I'm doomed…
[Alarm clock beeping]
[Suddenly, Dee dee appears in his laboratory]
Dee Dee: Oh Dexter! Dexter! Dexter! Come quick! You have to help! It's terrible! You sent me and you're all gross and-
Dexter: [Annoyed] This better be important, woman. You are interrupting my very delicate calculations.
Dee Dee: I have a message for you from the future.
Dexter: [Taps his index finger on the table] From the future, huh?
Dee Dee: Yes. You sent me back in time to-
Dexter: Stop! If there was a message so important that it would require time travel, I would certainly not entrust it to my idiot sister. I would send myself. In other words...[Shouting] I would not send you back in time even if..! If..if...[Shouting] I was being eaten alive!
Dee Dee: [Sobbing] Oh Dexter! Why are you being so terrible?!
Dexter: Please...I have no time for your tears. Why don't you go back outside and talk to trees or whatever it is you do?
Dee Dee: Fine! I will! And I'm not ever giving you the message! [Runs out of the lab, crying]
Dexter: [Shrugs it off and continues work] Fine with me. [Dee Dee begins crying and goes outside still crying]
Dee Dee #2: What's wrong Dee Dee?
Dee Dee: Dexter was just awful to me!
Dee Dee #2: What did he do now?
Dee Dee: Well, I came all the way from the future with this important message and he started yelling and- [she sobs]
Dee Dee #2: There, there, it's alright, you just forget all about mean ol' Dexter and his stupid message
Dexter: Einstein's ghost. [Dexter rushes outside] STOOOOOOOP! Future Dee Dee I need that message that you have brought from the future.
Dee Dee: Okay!
Dee Dee #2: Hey… Remember how nasty Dexter was to you?
Dee Dee: Hey that's right!
Dexter: Please future Dee Dee! The information you hold could alter man's destiny I will do anything to possess it!
Dee Dee: Anything?
Dee Dee #2: Anything?
Both Dee Dee's: Anything!?
Dee Dee: Even… [Dee Dee kneels down and whispers in Dexter's ear]
Dee Dee #2: Ooh I wanted to do that forever!
Dexter: Please Dee Dee's anything but that…
Both Dee Dee's: It's that or no message from the future.
[Alarm clock beeping]
[Both Dee Dee's are on stage wearing white ballerina tutus and dancing, Dexter then appears with a pink tutu and a princess crown on his head dancing along. The Dee Dee's kick Dexter and then throw flowers around Dexter. Dexter looks around and is then slapped and kicked again and the Dee Dee's wave a magic wand above his head.]
Dexter: May I have my message now?
Dee Dee: Hmm… What message?
[Dexter growls at her]
Dexter: The message from the future!
Dee Dee #2: Oh you can't have the message yet!
Dee Dee: We still have another ballet to perform!
Dexter: Another ballet!?
Dee Dee #2: Yep!
Dee Dee: The Nutcracker.
[Dexter rips his costume off]
Dexter: THAT'S IT! I do not care what the future brings but you Dee Dee's will not be in it! Girls, will you join me over here?
[The Dee Dee's tip toe over]
Both Dee Dee's: Oooh what's this Dexter?
Dexter: It is my yet untested interdimensional doorway! [Dexter pulls a lever] You are going to test it… [The machine activates and blue bolts come out of the machine] Step right in ladies!
Both Dee Dee's: It looks scary Dexter!
Dexter: Nonsense! Lots of fun in the other dimension! Nothing to be afraid of.
Both Dee Dee's: Uhh… Dexter?
[Alarm clock beeping]
[Dexter and both Dee Dee's are flung across the laboratory]
[A monster appears and growls]
[Dexter tries shooting the monster with lasers]
Dee Dee: This seems very familiar…
[Dexter tries dropping a bomb on the monster and gets flung in front of both Dee dee's]
Dexter: Only one hope left!
Dee Dee: I remember this part!
Dexter: It is up to you Dee Dee's! [The monster shakes salt on Dexter and eats him] Use my time machine! Go back into… the past… and give me this message…!
Dee Dee: Message! You mean this message?
[Dexter reads the note]
Dexter: Dexter do not open the interdimensional doorway there's a monster inside best wishes, Dexter. But this is the message I just wrote! That means that I… That she… That this… WAAAAAAAAIT!
[The Dee Dee's both disappeared in the machine]
Dexter: I'm doomed.
[Alarm clock beeping]
Dee Dee: Oh! Dexter! Dexter! Dexter! Come quick! You have to help! It's terrible! You sent me and me and your all gross and-
Dexter: This better be important woman, you are interrupting my very delicate calculations.

Dial M for Monkey: Magmanamus [1.1b][edit]

Maternal Combat [1.1c][edit]

Dexter: Mother? Mother? [Mom opens her eyes] It is past breakfast time. [Mom closes her eyes back.] Mom? What is this strange condition, eyes all red and pussy, tongue is coated, process quickened, what could be wrong?
Dee Dee: Mum is sick.
Dexter: You fool, mothers do not get sick they take care of the sickly.
Mother: I'm sorry Dexter I am sick, you'll have to feed yourself and keep the house clean today.
Dexter: [While getting dragged away by Dee Dee] Cooking? Cleaning? These are not things a little boy not have to do.
Dee Dee: OK Dexter you clean and I'll cook. [Hands Dexter a duster]
Dexter: Yes I'll clean a simple task, don't be skittish Dexter you can clean, [Dexter dusts a lampstand and some dirt appears] Could this strange phenomenon be the substance mom calls dirt- [The dirt goes into Dexter's mouth causing him to cough and use an inhaler] Vile thing! [Kicks the duster away] That sister of mine tried to kill me.
[Dexter goes into the kitchen and sees Dee Dee mixing a bowl]
Dexter: What exactly are you making Dee Dee?
Dee Dee: A pie
Dexter: By any chance that wouldn't be a POISON PIE! would it?
Dee Dee: No. [Pours flour into the mixing bowl]
Dexter: What is that white stuff that you are adding in?
Dee Dee: Flour.
Dexter: Aha! Flowers are for smelling they are not for eating. Poison!
Dee Dee: Not poison, flour. Now go sit down and let me finish. Hm, let's see [Dee Dee reads a mudpie recipe and grabs a handful of mud from a flower box and puts it into the mixing bowl]
[Later Dexter and Dee Dee see the pie baking in the oven]
Dexter: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy I can hardly wait! [Dee Dee serves the pie in front of Dexter and Dexter takes a bite of it] Light flaky crust, rich taste, but I can't quite place the flavour, is it chocolate?
Dee Dee: No.
Dexter: Poison berry?
Dee Dee: No.
Dexter: I give up, what is it?
Dee Dee: Mud.
Dexter: Oh mud, I would have never guessed. Mud!? [Dexter sticks out his tongue showing worms wriggling from the mudpile and spits it out]
Dee Dee: That's no way to behave while you were eating.
Dexter: I am done eating and you are done cooking, [Dexter stomps away] we are done, dusting, washing, drying, these things are for a mother to do. [Dexter goes into his laboratory] The mother I shall have! [Dexter constructs and puts together a mother robot and attempts to bring it alive by revvering a car engine] Live, live, live! [The monitor shows the robot's heartbeat beating indicating it is now alive] It is ALIVE! [Dexter brings his mother robot into the kitchen] Dee Dee? Good no sign of the girl, come into the kitchen Mumdroid, basic motor functions excellent, incredibly lifelike, now Mumdroid make me a peanut butter and baloney sandwich.
Mumdroid: Not until you clean your room.
Dexter: Perhaps a little too lifelike.
[Dexter watches TV while eating his sandwich while Mumdroid does all the different jobs around the house past Dexter at a fast pace, Dexter then coughs on some dust and Mumdroid brings Dexter an inhaler, then Dee Dee grabs the remote from the chair with Dexter unnoticing, then Mumdroid suddenly stops and drops clothes on Dexter and dresses him at a fast pace while Dee Dee operates the remote]
Dee Dee': Zoom!
Dexter: Dee Dee! Hand over the control sister.
Dee Dee: Uh Uh!
[Dexter and Dee Dee fight over the remote and while doing so Mumdroid starts to destroy the house and then grabs and throws a fish bowl in front of a cat and then a TV lands on top of the cat and the TV remote lands in the fish bowl, the fish then uses the TV remote and watches the cat being chased by a dog on the TV, Dee Dee then kicks back Dexter onto a piano]
Dexter: You have struck a final go Dee Dee! [Dexter walks on the piano creating notes on the piano as he does]
Dee Dee: Hi Dexter [Mumdroid brushes Dee Dee's hair and flashes are seen behind them, then a laser shoots the hair brush out of Mumdroid's hand]
Dexter: Oh Dee Dee, Meet Mumdroid 1000! Surrender the control Dee Dee.
Dee Dee: Back off Dexter!
[The two Mumdroids start to combat each other, Mumdroid 1000 punches Mumdroid's head and then Mumdroid punches Mumdroid 1000's head]
[Dee Dee sticks her tongue out at Dexter angering him]
[The two Mumdroids combat each other destroying the house even more and eventually Mumdroid 1000 throws the couch out of the window with Dee Dee and Dexter sitting on it]
Dee Dee: Dexter look!
Dexter: Oh no it is father.
[Dexter's father is seen driving his car towards the house]
Dexter: Quick Dee Dee I will take care of this room, you rebuild the kitchen, Dee Dee? [Sees Dee Dee still playing with the Mumdroid robots] Dee Dee!
[Dad happily returns home to find two smoking robots and the shifty looking kids]
Dad: Hm, need to get that couch a polster. [Enters house] Hello honey! Hello Dexter! Hello Dee Dee! Hello honey! [heads upstairs] Hello honey! [Dee Dee punches Dexter's head like a Mumdroid head and laughs] [Episode ends]

Dexter Dodgeball [1.2a][edit]

[In the title card, Dexter is seen running from a dodgeball. On the final piece, the dodgeball hits Dexter, stopping him in place. It then fades into a night at Dexter's household, the sky turns blue with the sun in the sky. The word "MONDAY", written in transparent green text, is written across the screen accompanied with computer beeps. Zoom into Dexter's room, then zoom to the closet, then zoom to an analog alarm clock that reads "6:59." At 7:00, the laboratory lights turn on and the camera pulls out to see Dee Dee painting the machine; she looks at the camera and runs out.]
[Cut to a computer with "WAKE-UP SEQUENCE ACTIVATED" written on the monitor; in Dexter's room, he is pulled into his lab by a giant silver tube. Inside the lab, Dexter is standing on his conveyor belt, a compressor takes off his clothes, he washes his hair in the shower, and is clothed by another compressor; at the end of the belt, Dexter eyes his paper that reads "GYM EXCUSE." At Huber Elementary; Dexter walks down to the desk at the end of the hallway; several boys are seen getting dressed for physical education; a boy whips his friend with a towel]
Bully: Well, well, well. Look at Dorkster with his stupid excuse.
Dexter: [Hands his excuse note to the "Coach" and happily walks away] If you need me, I'll be in the Science Lab.
Substitute Coach: What is this crap?
Dexter: [Turns around in shock] Who are you?
Substitute Coach: I'm your Substitute Coach.
Dexter: But, But, But...
Substitute Coach: QUIET!
Dexter:...But My Excuse!
Substitute Coach: [Rips the excuse letter in half] What Excuse?! Now! Suit up!
[He grabs the whistle from around his neck and blows it in Dexter's face; Dexter is later seen standing around a group of boys; cut to the coach's face, zoom into his mouth]
Coach: Dooooooooooooodge... ballllllllllll!
[A game of dodgeball commences. Several boys are seen getting hit by the dodgeballs; one of the boys grabs onto Dexter]
Boy: Dexter, help me! Please help me!
[The boy is hit by a ball, and he starts sliding off Dexter]
Boy: I... I'm hit! Good bye, Dexter...
[The camera cuts to a view of all the boys who are out from the game; Dexter looks at the sky in disdain]
Bully: Hey, Dorkster! Where's your excuse now? Huh? Let's get him, boys!
[The bullies all throw dodgeballs at Dexter. He is hit by one and is knocked over to the ground. His glasses come off of his face; Dexter reaches to pick them up, but they are smashed by a dodgeball]
[Cut to the next day; The word "TUESDAY" is written on the bottom of the screen;Dexter is seen sitting on the bench nervously. The bully and his two friends walk by.]
Bully: See you out on the playground, Dorkster.
[Cut to the bullies standing outside]
Bully: Hey, guys! Watch this!
[The bully gives the dodgeball a hard throw to the ground; it bounces up into the sky; cut to the boys, everyone but Dexter leaves, who then starts running around the shadow screaming helplessly; the ball then bounces on his head]
[Cut to a close-up of the coach's face; the word "WEDNESDAY" appears]
Coach: *in a slower tone* Dooooooooooooodge... ballllllllllll!
[Cut to Dexter running from a dodgeball with the word "BOIT" written on it; the camera then cuts to the dodgeball, which rolls toward the screen, and then rolls off Dexter with the word imprinted onto his head; he slides down]
[Cut to the next day; Dexter is seen running across the campus with three dodgeballs intercepting him; The word "THURSDAY" is written on the bottom; the dodgeballs chase Dexter out of the locker room; they follow him around another corner; cut to a girl standing in front of her locker; Dexter races past her and heads into the library, the dodgeballs follow after, leaving a gust of wind behind; in the library, Dexter is reading "The Book of Physics"; the dodgeballs appear behind him and fly to the other side; he looks up, puts the book down, and runs; at a window, Dexter realizes he's trapped, and he jumps out]
[Cut to the next day; the word "FRIDAY" appears; Dexter is looking at the boys; the ball hits his groin and he immediately starts filling his eyes with teardrops; he lays on the ground with the boys laughing to his humiliation; a thunderstorm appears over him; the lightning flashes twice, and then it cuts to Dexter sleeping in his bed, with the same position as earlier; after several flashes, it cuts to Dexter sleeping in a fiery place with three devil-like figures laughing at him; their laughing is cut short as a beam of light pierces through their skin; Dexter looks up to see an angelic light with a figure of a robotic exoskeleton coming out from the clouds; he wakes up from the dream]
Dexter: That's it.
[Cut to another day at Huber Elementary; the word "MONDAY" is written; cut to the playground]
Bully: Hey, where's Dorkster?
Bully 2: We must've scared him off good.
Bully 3: Yeah, huh-huh.
Dexter: You lookin' for me?
[The bullies look at Dexter, dodgeballs ready]
Bullies: Let's get him!
[The bullies throw the dodgeballs at Dexter; the first two fly past him, and the third one barely touches his hair]
Dexter: Now, it's my turn.
[He jumps into the air and presses two small buttons on his belt buckle; two robotic arms and legs come out of the backpack and Dexter grabs onto both the arms]
Dexter: Who wants some?
[The bullies all start screaming and run; Dexter fires a dodgeball at the first bully; the first bully is running away screaming, a dodgeball hits him in the back three times, and he flips over to the ground; Dexter chases the second bully and dribbles him like a basketball; he then makes a slam dunk with the bully; the third bully runs over to a jungle gym]
'[Dexter fires streams of dodgeballs from the palms of the exoskeleton; the dodgeballs all bounce off the jungle gym]
Bully 3: Yah-ha!
[He blows a raspberry at Dexter; Dexter converts his exoskeleton's left arm into a gun and fires a dodgeball at the jungle gym; the dodgeball explodes and blows the bully away; Dexter then starts screaming and fires dodgeballs everywhere; he steps on the ground and pulls his exoskeleton's arms down in exhaustion; a dodgeball flies and hits his head]
Dee Dee: You're out! [In shock, both Dexter and the exoskeleton fall over]

Dial M for Monkey: Rasslor [1.2b][edit]

Rasslor: Welcome heroes of Earth! You have been chosen to receive the most glorious of gifts! The opportunity to face me, the great Rasslor, in a contest of strength and skill! For Aeons, I have scoured the cosmos searching for the one adversary who could provide me with suitable sport! Although, I have yet to find such a noble soul. Each creature, each race, more pitiful than the last. So I spare them the disgrace of their weakness by destroying their worlds! And now my quest has brought me to this timid little planet you call Earth. So, terrestrial heroes, can one of you quench my thirst for the divine conflict, the supreme struggle?! Or will your planet be doomed to the same fate that has befallen so many?
[The heroes stare at him, confused]
Heroes: ...What?
Rasslor: Fight me or I destroy the Earth! Now let the games begin!

Rasslor: Incredible. I could crush your body, I could smash your bones, but I could never break your spirit. You are a marvel little monkey. Any world that could spawn one as noble as you is truly blessed. I SPARE YOUR EARTH!

Dexter's Assistant [1.2c][edit]

Dexter: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Dexter: [sweetly] Assistant?
Dee Dee: Yes?
Dexter: Would you please assist me by...SHUTTING UP!?

Dexter's Rival [1.3a][edit]

Mandark: Yes, Dexter, I can read your thoughts, and I am smarter than you.

Mandark: Welcome to my laboratory! [Echoing] Laboratory! Laboratory!

Dial M for Monkey: Simion [1.3b][edit]

[In space, Agent Honeydew and her crew are in distress when their spaceships were blown up]]
'Agent Honeydew: Oh, Monkey. Monkey, Earth's in trouble. We need your help. [The scene changes to Monkey meditating in his tank] Hear my thoughts. Help us, Monkey. [Monkey wakes up from his meditation and changes into his superhero outfit. Monkey flies away from Earth and saves the astronauts and Honeydew.] Thank the stars! [[Monkey takes them to the space station] We knew you'd come through, Monkey. You always do.
[The scene changes to inside the space station]
Commander: Greetings everyone as you were. Monkey, I can't thank you enough for your speedy rescue of Agent Honeydew and crew. However, we have a much lager problem on our hands. Honeydew?
Agent Honeydew: As we entered Sector 12 on routine patrol, an armada of unknown warships struck out a wharf directly on top of us. We never had a chance.
Commander: We know nothing of this deadly fiend except for its trajectory: Planet Earth. We're desperate. Monkey, can you help us?
[Monkey chatters in agreement and flies off into space to stop the unknown warlord. As he flies closer, the armada appears out of no where and starts to shoot lasers at Monkey. However, Monkey deflects the laser beams, but little did Monkey know, the mysterious warlord is watching the battle from his ship]
Simion: He's strong. He's falling into my trap as I have planned. [Monkey flies to the warlord's ship, rips open a hole and climbs inside. He runs across the hallway until a door opens. Monkey steps in and looks around. Monkey sees a mysterious shadowy character] Please come in. Take you shoes off. Stay a while. [Monkey takes a seat at the table] That was quite a show you put on out there, Monkey. But as we speak, my space station is set to destroy your planet, Earth in five minutes. [Monkey becomes enraged and tries to fight] I wouldn't do that if I were you. [Monkey stops] Brute force will get you nowhere. I am a man of class. Behold my succulent feast. King crab, swordfish, scalloped potatoes. But of course, if this is too rich for you, I'll have my cooks make you a [The shadowy warlord reveals to be a talking chimpanzee] banana split! [Monkey freaks out and hides behind the chair. Simion laughs evilly. Monkey chatters to him in a surprise statement] No! I am not like you! I am SIMION!!! [Monkey chatters to him in question] What is my problem with man you ask? No, I ask you what was man's problem with me. [Simion walks up to the window and looks out into space] I deserve revenge for what they did to me. [Simion clenches his fists] The pain. The horror. [The scene changes to flashbacks of Simion's past] I was to be the first monkey in space. The mission was disastrous. A crack in the ship's hull created an explosion that hurled me into a radioactive energy balance. I was exposed to gamma rays and changed for life. I became strong and amazingly intelligent. I began to build a new world. I expanded my knowledge and skill by meditation. Soon, I can create a matter merely by thought. [The scene changes back to the present] And half a century, I built this entire space station from scratch. Now, the time has come for my revenge on the hairless apes for making a guinea pig out of me! Like you, Monkey. While you put your neck on the line, the humans sit comfortably getting fat! That is why I brought you here. Your presence is strong. Together, we can combine our forces and bring a new order to the galaxy. Seek your heart. You know it will be true. No human never showed you real kindness and love. It's all been a lie! But with my knowledge and your... [As Simion continues talking, Monkey daydreams of the good times he had with Agent Honeydew. Monkey then remembered the banana Honeydew gave him on one of his dates. Monkey pulls out the banana] What? [Monkey chatters for a bit and gives the banana to Simion. Simion is speechless] I... I... [Simion sheds tears of happiness for the first time then lets out a scream of stress for he had never seen such an act of kindness] (sighs) I never thought all the answers would be given to me in such a simple package. How could I not see that I have become of that which I hate? Only a monkey could show me that. Oh, my friend! I want to walk like you, talk like you! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Where do I start? [Monkey chatters his answer] Yes, of course! I must destroy that which I have created out of anger. SO BE IT!!! [Monkey takes Simion out of his ship as it exploded in space. Then Monkey carries Simion down to Earth and takes him to the jungles of South America] Ahh. This is paradise. [Birds fly by] I am born... [Simion rips off his clothes] AGAIN!! [Simion chatters like a chimp and laughs] It feels good! [Monkey chatters in happiness and hugs Simion. Monkey continues to chatter and points to a vine, telling him to go and have fun] [Simion grabs on a vine and swings away] Thank you, my little friend! [Monkey chatters and waves good bye to Simion]

Double Trouble [1.4a][edit]

Dee Dee: Rolecall, Mee Mee!
Mee Mee: Present!
Dee Dee: Lee Lee!
Lee Lee: Present!
Dee Dee: Dee Dee! I'm Present too!
Dee Dee: Hi!
Lee Lee: Hi!
Mee Mee: Hi!
Dexter: Dee Dee! Mee Mee! Lee Lee! Bothersome little girls
Dexter: I really got to work on my multiplication.
The Rabbit: Hey buddy! Where are all the girls go?

Dial M for Monkey: Barbequor [1.4b][edit]

Jurassic Pooch [1.5a][edit]

Dexter: [to the audience] Anybody want to buy a dinosaur? [episode ends]

Dial M for Monkey: Orgon Grindor [1.5b][edit]

Dee Dee's Room [1.6a][edit]

[The episode opens with a closeup of Dexter's face as it is breaking out.]
Dexter: (narrating) The horror. Of the landmarks in the home of my parents. My memory will forever rest in the room that belongs to my sister: Dee Dee.
Dexter: Why am I breathing so hard?

Dial M for Monkey: Huntor [1.6b][edit]

The Big Sister [1.6c][edit]

[Dexter is working in his lab on an invention]
Dexter: AT LAST MY GREATEST INVENTION IS NOW COMPLETED!!! This is my greatest invention yet. It is so powerfully amazing that nothing can be more outstanding than this here creation. It is ... Cookies. [Dexter lays a plate of cookies down on the table] Ah yes ... it is perfect. [Dee Dee sneaks up and grabs one of the cookies and is about to eat it] Huh? Wait Dee Dee! NOOOOOOOOO!!! [Dexter yanks the cookie out of her hand]
Dee Dee: Hey what gives Dexter?
Dexter: DEE DEE! These cookies are not for you Yet, But Soon, they are for my laboratory rats!
Dee Dee: Well why can't I have one?
Dexter: Because they are filled with highly dangerous untested chemicals that are not safe for human consumption. I am giving them to my rats to see what they do to them. Now could you please GET OUT OF MY LABORATORY!!!
Dee Dee: Hmmm ... Okay.
[Dee Dee leaves Dexter's Laboratory]
[The next scene is where Dexter is now testing out the cookies on his rats]
[Dexter tests a cookie out on a rat and it makes it shrink]
[Dexter tests a cookie out on another rat and it makes it grow a second head]
[Dexter goes up to Dee Dee wearing a rat costume and tests a cookie on her]
Dexter: DEE DEE! ... DEE DEE NO!
Dee Dee: I ate the cookies! I ate the cookies! What’s over there?
Dexter: At last. With my sister gone, my intellectual pursuits shall be uninhabited.
Dee Dee: Look at the cute little dolly.
Man: Everybody run. There's a giant monster on the loose.
Dee Dee: More cute little dollies. What are all the dollies going to do? [A light bulb turns itself on directly above her head] I know, we’ll play cops and robbers. [A police car arrives as Dee Dee picks it up] Look out, bad guy. Here comes the cops. Oh, bad guy. I guess they got you.

Star Spangled Sidekicks [1.7a][edit]

Dee Dee: [laughs at Dexter's speech for wanting to be Major Glory's sidekick]
Dexter: And what is so humorous about that? [Dee Dee continues laughing] Dee Dee stop this laughing this instant!
Dee Dee: Okay, okay Dexter, don't get your underwear into a wrinkle. Look...You're my brother and all so I'll be honest with ya...[amused] You've gotta be kidding me! [seriously] You don't got what takes. Just look at ya...[measures Dexter] You're two foot nothing. [camera zooms on Dexter's glasses] You can barely see [puts her arm around Dexter's shoulder] and besides everything...You're a dork! [smiles]
Dexter: [yells in frustration]
Dexter: And I suppose you have what it takes to be a superhero's sidekick?
Dee Dee: [shrugs] Of course. I have style, pizzazz, and I can punch and kick some. You know. [Dexter opens his mouth to talk] Yes?
Dexter: [drops it] Forget it. [walks upstairs] There's nothing to be said. I will be Major Glory's sidekick and you will not.
Dee Dee: [shouts upstairs] That's what you think Dexter!
Dexter: No, Dee Dee! That's what I know.

The Justice Friends: TV Super Pals [1.7b][edit]

Game Over [1.7c][edit]

Dexter: 'Master Computer?' Wow dad, thanks, a video game... An OLD video game...
Dad: Well, I know how much you like gadgets and stuff, Dexter, but what you've got there is more than just a video game: It's a bargain! Got it for a nickel from a gypsy!

Babysitter Blues [1.8a][edit]

Dee Dee: Hello!
Dexter: Dee Dee, get off the phone!
Dee Dee: Okay, but I'm still trying to find whatever it was I was looking for.
Dexter: Great, okay, bye.
Dee Dee: Bye!
Dexter: Bye.
Dee Dee: Bye!
Dexter: BYE!
Dexter: [sounds like Lisa's boyfriend on her end of the phone] Oh, I guess we just got cut off. But I wanted to call you back and tell you that you have got cooties and I am love football. Bye.

The Justice Friends: Valhallen's Room [1.8b][edit]

Dollhouse Drama [1.9a][edit]

The Justice Friends: Krunk's Date [1.9b][edit]

The Big Cheese [1.9c][edit]

Dexter: Omelette du fromage.

Bully: Hey, Dexter! You talkin' to our girls?
Dexter: [desperate] Omelette du fromage! Omelette du fromage.
Bully: Hey, whoa, slow down, buddy. I didn't know it was like that, man.

Way of the Dee Dee [1.10a][edit]

Dexter: [enraged at Dee Dee] WHY DO YOU DO THIS?! YOU ARE SO STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! Oh, and let's not forget...YOU'RE SO STUPID!
Dee Dee: Ow! [Rubs her face] Oh yeah!? Well just because I know how to have fun doesn't mean I'm stupid! I may not know all that scientifical makna logical stuff, but I know how to climb a tree, and I know how to pet a kitty just right. And I know how to tie my own shoes Mr zipper boot!... Actually, I feel sorry for you, Dexter. You're like a pickle - sour, and all bottled up in your laboratory. Toiling away alone in the dark, searching for answers to questions nobody asked. Locked away from the world, never to experience the true mysteries of life. Well, you can keep your cold, sterile little lab, because for me, the world is my laboratory! Goodbye, Dexter. I shan't impose on you ever again.
[She leaves the lab; after a moment of silent contemplation, Dexter rushes out after her]
Dexter: DEE DEE! [sadly] Everything you said was true! I don't want to be a pickle! But I need your help. Show me the way to be free, show me the way of the Dee Dee!

Dee Dee: Discard those ravlings which tie you to the lab. [Dexter looks down at his clothes] There must be a stripping of the old, before you start anew. [The next shot shows Dexter in just his underwear and gloves, in a nervous "Ta-Da!" pose] AND the gloves. [He reluctantly pulls them off] Now step into the light.
Dexter: But, I don't have any sunscreen.
Dee Dee: Do not fear, little one. The first step is always the hardest.

Dee Dee: [slaps Dexter] Stop it, Dexter! Look at yourself! You're a MONSTER! No longer a quiet creator but a mad destroyer! [sobs] I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have pushed you! I know now it wasn't my place to try to change you! Oh Dexter, please forgive me. [Dexter reaches his hand out to Dee Dee. She then leaves the lab] OH, WHAT HAVE I DONE?! [still sobbing]

The Justice Friends: Say Uncle Sam [1.10b][edit]

Major Glory: Now we are going to over this again and again and again until we get it right! Comprende?
[Valhallen and Krunk glare at Major Glory angrily]
Major Glory: [Nervously] Perhaps I've pushed you too hard

Major Glory: Uncle Sam! What happened to you?!
Uncle Sam: Doctor's orders, nephew. Told me I was too high strung. Told me to loosen up. And I feel great.

Tribe Called Girl [1.10c][edit]

Spacecase [1.11a][edit]

The Justice Friends: Ratman [1.11b][edit]

Dexter's Debt [1.11c][edit]

The Justice Friends: Bee Where? [1.12b][edit]

Mandarker [1.12c][edit]

Inflata Dee Dee [1.13a][edit]

The Justice Friends: Can't Nap [1.13b][edit]

Monstory [1.13c][edit]

[A four-layered magnifying glass is seen eyeing Earth; the citizens are seen running and screaming in fear; pull out to Dexter looking at the glass with the sounds going into his ear; Dee Dee enters his room]
Dexter: *voice-over* My recent study of Horton's Theory of Who has lead me to believe that I have found some sort of sub-molecular lifeforms. Utter silence is necessary to focusing on the quantum sound wavelengths. [A nail hits the ground, causing a massive reverb to hit Dexter's eardrum; he shivers and stops when the noise does; Dee Dee appears from the left]
Dee Dee: HI!! [The reverb causes Dexter's ear machine to go out of control; he pulls it out of his ear]
Dexter: Dee Dee, I am doing delicate research. I need absolute quiet! [Short pause]
Dee Dee: So anyway, I went to the park to meet my friend Lila, who started to tell me a story about a story of a boy and a girl who met in the park, and the boy said to the girl-
Dexter: Uh, wait a minute, this isn't one of your stupid knock-knock jokes, is it?
'Dee Dee: No. [Dexter walks off]
Dee Dee: So anyway, the boy told the girl that he came to the park from his house to see her and to tell her-
Dexter: Hey! Can you not be quiet for a nanosecond?! I cannot even hear myself think!
Dee Dee: So the boy continued to tell the girl, who came to the park from her house-
Dexter: Just shut up! [The pace gets slightly faster]
Dee Dee: And the girl took a big, flying pony to the park-
Dexter: I've gotta shut her up! [He opens his lab coat to reveal two pink potions and a green potion; Dexter grabs the green potion; he and Dee Dee stop moving]
Dexter: Dee Dee, would you like a drink?
Dee Dee: Thank you, I was getting thirsty... [She drinks the potion whole and rubs her mouth]
Dee Dee: ...from all that talking. [Her mouth starts wavering and it is inhaled]
Dexter: Silence! [Dee Dee's mouth widens]
Dee Dee: *talking loudly* And the girl rode in on the pony! [Dexter looks at the potion bottle with a tag that reads "DON'T DRINK THIS! It will turn you into a MONSTER!"]
Dexter: Oh, Sweet Father of Chemistry, what have I done? [Dee Dee suddenly grows with her entire skin being the same color as her hair]
Dexter: Oh, shoot. Heh-heh... Nice Dee Dee, nice Dee Dee! [He runs away screaming; Dee Dee, who is now a tall bird-like creature, looks at Dexter angrily]
Dexter: Help, help, save me! I'm a genius! Save the brain! Save the brain!
Dee Dee: Dexter! I haven't finished my story yet! [She starts crying; Dexter is behind a wall gasping for air; Dee Dee's cry echoes around the lab, causing damages to the beakers, the hourglass; and many other machines]
Dexter: My lab! [Dee Dee's crying continues to cause extensive damage; Dexter shakes his fists in anger]
Dexter: *loudly* SHUT... UP!!! [Dee Dee stops crying]
'Dexter: This is unacceptable! You want to torture me? Fine! But when you mess with the lab, there will be a piper to pay! It is time to fight fire with fire! I'm coming after you. [Dexter opens his lab coat and pulls out his second monster potion and starts drinking it; he burps and starts transforming into a slug-like monster; pull back to see that Dexter isn't as strong as he is; Dee Dee puts one of her talons in front of her brother]
Dexter: Oops. [He starts whistling and slithers away as fast as he can; Dee Dee chases after him]
Dee Dee: You will listen to my story! [Dexter slithers into a nearby corridor; Dee Dee's stomping trails off into the distance]
Dexter: Whew.
Dee Dee: Oh, Dexter? Dexter! Now where did he go?
[Fade to a slimy substance covering a wall; Dexter's cocoon is seen bulging out from between the walls; fade to Dexter resting comfortably]
Dexter: Ah... peace at last. [Outside, Dee Dee watches as Dexter evolves; several calendar pages fly down from the top of the screen; inside the cocoon, Dexter's legs grow in size; a clock with its arms spinning; Dee Dee looks at her watch; Dexter's teeth grow into sharp fangs; a timer is heard ticking and it rings; Dexter yawns, and then grows into a monster; Dee Dee watches to her delight]
Dee Dee: So anyway, the boy told her that he liked ponies too. No, wait a second. It was the boy who rode in on the pony. [Dexter covers his ears]
Dexter: Shut up, shut up, shut up! [He runs toward a wall and breaks through it]
Dee Dee: Well, nonetheless, it was a pink pony and... [She grows larger, with her skin turning into a creamy white color]
Dee Dee: Oh, Dexter? Dexter? [In the city, Dexter tiptoes through the area hiding from Dee Dee; a woman pops her head out of a window and starts screaming]
Woman: Monster! [She faints; Dexter shudders and lets out a loud burp and he grows in size]
Dee Dee: There you are, Dexter! [Dexter climbs a nearby building and Dee Dee follows shortly after]
Dee Dee: So let's continue. The boy and the girl were in the park, and the pink pony brought some snacks. [A police helicopter flies toward the building]
Police officer: I'm sorry, miss, but we have a one monster per building rule. I'm gonna have to give you a ticket. [He pulls out a notepad and pencil; Dexter climbs down] Now, I'll need a license and registration. [Dee Dee grows taller; the police officers watch in shock] Heh-heh, we'll just send you a bill. [As the helicopter flies away; the camera pulls out to see Dee Dee towering over the entire city with the appearance of a spider-like monster] Dexter! I see you!
Dexter: [drinks a vat of chemical waste nearby and confronts Dee Dee as a Godzilla-like monster] This ends now!
Dee Dee: But I'm not finished!
[A fight between them breaks out; both jump backwards making battle cries and striking poses before leaping at each other; Dee Dee flies toward Dexter with one of her fists coated in flames]
Dee Dee: Nitro-Punch!
[Dexter curls up his body and starts spinning like a sawblade]
Dexter: Mud Saw! [Dexter's scales shred Dee Dee's skin; Dee Dee bites Dexter and scratches him] Tail Whip!
[He hits Dee Dee with his tail; Dee Dee uses four of her legs and latches onto Dexter's neck]
Dee Dee: Squid Attack!
Dexter: Monkey Mouth!
[He breathes fire and knocks Dee Dee back; Dee Dee angrily leaps out of the flames, then stands on one of her legs and, similarly to a ceiling fan, uses the other seven to attack Dexter]
Dee Dee: Octo-Bash!
[The citizens all run away screaming; Dexter falls onto a series of buildings behind him as Dee Dee grins in victory; Dexter hits the ground hard and Dee Dee pins him]
Dee Dee: NOW you'll listen! So the boy told the girl in the park on the pony... "Knock-knock!"
Dexter: NOOOOOO!

Season 2[edit]

Beard to Be Feared [2.1a][edit]

Dee Dee: That is one rugged brother...
Mee-Mee and Lee-Lee: Shut your mouth!
Dee Dee: I'm only talkin' 'bout Dexter.
Mee-Mee and Lee-Lee: We can dig it.

Quackor the Fowl [2.1b][edit]

Ant Pants [2.1c][edit]

Dexter: Ants are...
Dee Dee: Icky!
Dexter: To be respected.
Dee Dee: Icky!
Dexter: To be respected.
Dee Dee: Icky!
Dexter: To be respected.

Mom and Jerry [2.2a][edit]

Chubby Cheese [2.2b][edit]

Evil Commander: We will meet again, little man.
Pedro The Mouse: Yes!

That Crazy Robot [2.2c][edit]

[Dexter is inside his laboratory; a metal door closes behind him]
[Inside, Dexter jumps and lands on his feet; he cups his ear as several corks fly off the test tubes and as several beeps are heard; green liquid moves down one tube and up the other, electric runs through three diodes, the pistons move, and water shoots out of three pipes; Dexter sighs contently]
Dexter: I love the smell of science in the morning. [He tries to run off to the left, but is stopped as Dee Dee kicks the door open, flattening him]
Dee Dee: Good morning, Dexter! Dexter? [Pan to Dexter underneath the door; Dee Dee walks by] Dexter? Oh, Dexter? [She stops in surprise and sees a deactivated robot with a wrench stuck inside its torso; she leans over to it] Hi! [No response; Dexter brushes the dust off his clothes; alarm bells ring as Dexter jumps in fright]
Dexter: Dee Dee, get away from there! [Dee Dee opens her eyes]
Dee Dee: Oh, hi, Dexter!
[The cord she is hanging on to snaps; she loses her grip and falls, pulling the wrench out of the robot's torso in the process]
[Several beeps are heard as the robot stands up and rotates its head; it opens its eyes and stomps toward Dee Dee; at the next step, it raises its foot, but instead falls on its knees in delight]
Robot: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for saving me! I am at your every command. [Short pause]
Dee Dee: Ah! (formally) Robot, I command you to curtsy!
[The robot curtsies by sticking one of its legs behind the other and opening its hands, then stands up straight; Dee Dee then claps with the robot joining in; she and the robot then scream, then both are interrupted as Dexter screams over them while covering his ears]
Dexter: Stop that yelling! Screaming is not permitted in the lab, [Dee Dee and the robot look at each other, then exit to the left] neither is clapping, curtsies, or any silly behavior. Do you understand? [He looks around; no response] And stay out! [His head turns red while red steam flows out from the top; fade to black; cut to a large pink question mark on a black background; Dee Dee leans in from the right]
Dee Dee: Hey, Robot, what time is it?
[The robot leans in from the left]
Robot: I don't know. What time is it?
[Cut to Dee Dee in her room]
Dee Dee: It's time to help Dee Dee get ready for school!

[She jumps into the air, with her slippers coming off her feet; the robot is seen holding Dee Dee's everyday dress, which she slips through leaving her blouse behind; she and the robot then hop across the room, with Dee Dee putting her socks on and the robot brushing her hair; they hop back to the left, with Dee Dee brushing her teeth and the robot putting her shoe on; they again hop to the right, with Dee Dee tying her shoe and the robot flossing her teeth; the robot then puts Dee Dee's pigtails on her head as if it was screwing in two lightbulbs]

[The robot cleans its stomach; Dee Dee looks at her reflection; cut to Mom at the stairs]
Mom: [To Dee Dee] Dee Dee, Time for school!
Dee Dee: [To the robot] School schmool. I want to stay home and play with you!
Robot: I'll come to school with you.
Dee Dee: Silly robot! School is for kids.
Robot: Please? I'll polish your pencils, carry your books, eat your sandwich, yum. [bites sandwich; the word "CHOMP" flies up as it eats]
Dee Dee: Okay, *sternly* but you'll have to be on your best behavior.
[The robot quickly smiles]
Robot: Okay!
[It grabs Dee Dee and races out of the house, with her riding piggyback; they pass by a school bus, with the robot waving at the kids and them waving back; the robot runs through a bush, a wooden fence, and a stone wall, leaving Dee Dee with a black eye and a leaf in her mouth; cut to a diving board; the robot jumps off it and crashes into the roof of Huber Elementary with Dee Dee in tow]
[The robot lands in the hallways; Dee Dee slides off its back; several students crowd around her]
Boy: Gosh, Dee Dee, are you okay?
Dee Dee: Well, my head sort of hurts...
Girl: Look, it's a robot!
[The students encircle the robot while cheering; it is seen holding up two students in its arms and a boy in the palm of its left hand; the school bell rings; cut to a classroom]
Teacher: Morning, class, today is surprise quiz day.
[She holds up three papers with the word "QUIZ" written at the top; the students groan and then proceed to do their quizzes; pan over to Dee Dee and the robot; Dee Dee taps her pencil on her desk; the robot looks around]
Robot: Paraguay, soybeans, the Russians, 36.
Dee Dee: [shushes] *while whispering* Stop making me cheat.
Robot: Abe Lincoln, Sri Lanka, the Andalusian mountains.
Dee Dee: [loudly] Stop!
Teacher: Dee Dee! No talking during the quiz.
Boy: Ha ha! [he points his finger at Dee Dee] Cheater, cheater.
Dee Dee: Quit it.
[The robot looks at the boy angrily; its mouth is red]
Robot: Be nice!
[It fires its lasers at the boy, who howls in pain while holding onto his rear]
Teacher: Dee Dee, tell your guest to behave!
Dee Dee: But I didn't ask him to!
Teacher: No "buts".
Dee Dee: You dummy! Now I'm in trouble!
Robot: But I--
Dee Dee: No "buts"!
[Cut to a still image of the robot wearing a dunce cap on its head while it frowns; wipe to the house, then cut to Dee Dee's room; she, Lee Lee, Mee Mee, and the robot are seen playing with Darbie dolls; Mee Mee puts a dress on Darbie]
Robot: That dress doesn't go on Darbie. [it takes the dress off] It goes on Corky.
[Cut to a background with Dee Dee, Mee Mee, and Lee Lee's heads on it]
Mee Mee: Get back, metal man. [while pulling Darbie out of the robot's grasp] Darbies are for girls.
[The girls laugh as the robot frowns; Lee Lee holds up a Corky doll]
Lee Lee: Darbie makes Corky go to the dance naked!
[The girls laugh some more; Dee Dee pulls out a Ben doll wearing a disco outfit]
Dee Dee: And Disco Ben can be there too!
[[Mee Mee takes Disco Ben out of Dee Dee's hand]
Mee Mee: No! Disco Ben wouldn't be there. The dance party is private, and he isn't even on the guest list!
Lee Lee: Yeah!
[Mee Mee throws the Disco Ben doll at the wall; Dee Dee's eyes well up with tears and she starts crying; the robot, who is seen standing with its fists on its torso, fires its lasers at Mee Mee and Lee Lee, who both get out of the way and hide behind Dee Dee's bed as the lasers fly; Mee Mee and Lee Lee then run for it]
[The robot fires two lasers at Mee Mee and two lasers at Lee Lee; the girls jump as the lasers strike down on them; they jump out of the window; Dee Dee gets mad and turns to face the robot]
Dee Dee: Those were my friends!
Robot: I thought we were friends.
Dee Dee: [while pointing at the robot] Friends don't do what you did!
[Cut to the room door; Mom opens it]
Mom: Are you kids playing nice?
[She opens her eyes and looks at Dee Dee's room, which is a mess as a result of the robot's destructive behavior; some of her things are on fire]
Mom: What a filthy child I've raised! Now you clean your room and do your homework!
[Tears slide down from Dee Dee's eyes; the robot gears up to fire its lasers; Dee Dee catches on]
Dee Dee: Mom, your roast is on fire!
Mom: The roast?!
[She closes the door just as the robot fires its laser, making a big hole in the wall; Mom runs to the right]
Dee Dee: I can't believe you tried to zap my mom! [She kicks the robot in its shin, then jumps on one foot, holds her other foot, and yelps in pain] Oh, you...! [She hops to Dexter's laboratory; the robot sadly looks at her; fade to Dexter's laboratory; he is seen pouring green liquid from a test tube into a flask; Dee Dee runs toward him and starts shaking; the test tube falls on Dexter's work desk, creating a small puddle] Dexter, Dexter, that stupid robot zapped my friends and tried to zap Mom!
[Dexter's glasses spin in the air; he catches them by the edges and puts them back on; he smiles maliciously]
Dexter: [mockingly] What's this? A cry for help?
Dee Dee: [close to crying] Stop it, Dexter!
Dexter: Could it be that my dear sister finally gets what she deserves? [He laughs evilly]
Dee Dee: [crying] Stop it! Stop... S... Stop being so mean!
[Cut to the lab doors; shadows of Dexter laughing and Dee Dee crying are seen on the floor; the robot peers into the lab and sees the action unfolding; it reacts in shock; cut to Dexter then pan to Dee Dee, both in slow motion; Dexter points and laughs at Dee Dee while she cries]
[The robot, not standing for this, glares at Dexter and stomps its foot, cracking the ground; it then stomps toward him, to which he walks backwards to a wall while cowering in fear; Dexter looks around and realizes he's trapped]
Dexter: Dee Dee, make it stop. Please, please!
[The robot, while towering over Dexter with rage, prepares its lasers; Dee Dee picks up a wrench and throws it at the robot's torso, shutting it down as the robot hunches over; Dexter exerts a sigh of relief while rubbing his head]
Dexter: Dee Dee, how did you stop that [while rolling his eyes] crazy robot?
Dee Dee: Beats me.
[Pan over to the torso; the wrench is stuck inside the robot's torso; two wires are exposed]
Dexter: Thank you. Thank you, I'm at your every command.
[Fade to black, then cut to Dee Dee's room; they hop to the right; Dexter is seen brushing Dee Dee's hair while she looks at him uncomfortably while putting her socks on; they hop to the left; Dexter flosses Dee Dee's teeth while Dee Dee ties her shoes as she looks at her brother; they both fall down; Dee Dee propels Dexter off her with her feet]
Dee Dee: Thanks, but no thanks, Dexter. I can dress myself.
[Angered, Dexter's eyes turn red and he fires lasers at Dee Dee; iris cut to black]

D & DD [2.3a][edit]

Dee Dee: You can be this guy!
Dexter: What?!
Valerian: Well, it seems Hodo the furry-footed burrower has joined in our quest!
Dexter: I don't wanna be no furry-footed burrower.

Dexter/Hodo: I unsheath my deadly...mandolin?!

Dee Dee/Bachelorette: Okay, say we're stranded alone on an island. Do you have any skills that would come in handy, bachelor number 4?
Dexter/Hodo: I'd dig holes.

Hamhocks and Armlocks [2.3b][edit]

Dexter: [Shouting at the truck passing by] Hey! Who do you think you are?! King of the Road?!

Dexter: What are Hamhocks?
Dee Dee: They're gross!

Dad: Earl! You can humilate me. You can destroy my property. But don't you ever close a door on a lady, especially my Wife! You and me wrestle. Be there...or be square!

Dad: Earl! You ready, Earl? Let's do this!

Hunger Strikes [2.4a][edit]

The Koos is Loose [2.4b][edit]

Koosalagoopagoop: You know, if you turn your lips inside out, you can look like Jimmy Carter.

Morning Stretch [2.4c][edit]

Dee Dee Locks and the Ness Monster [2.5a][edit]

Backfire [2.5b][edit]

Book 'Em [2.5c][edit]

Dexter: More learning material...? [gasps and looks at the library stamp] No stamp?! This book has been illegally checked out!

Mrs L: Oh, Dexter, how could you? Your actions have brought shame upon this library! For this you shall be punished! YOU'RE BANNED FROM THE LIBRARY FOREVER! [stamps Dexter's head that is written banned as he falls he saw Mrs L's face, three biting books, Dee Dee's creepy face with creepy teeth Dexter's Dad's face and the fire that resembles hell]
Dee Dee: Good-bye, Dexter.
Dexter's Dad: You are welcome.
Dexter: AAAAAAAAAAHH! [falls into the hole from the book written inferno Dante's with the pitchfork sign on it as he landed on a book chair]
Devil: [slaps Dexter while he is laughing at Dexter] Welcome to library heck. [then he starts the evil laugh]

Dexter: The book must be returned. Just do it!

Dee Dee: Hey! Librari-ann! We quit! You win!
Dexter: Traitor!
Mrs L: What? Why, Dee Dee, thank you for apprehending your loudmouth brother. I see good things in your future. [to Dexter, unhappily] And as for you, Mr. Dexter...
Dexter: [grumbles to himself and shakes]

Dexter: [reading a story for Dee Dee and several other kids] And so, after Prince asked Mr. Grumpster to leave nicely, everyone in Snuggleville gave each other a warm, fuzzy hug. The end. ...Blech.

Sister's Got a Brand New Bag [2.6a][edit]

Shoo, Shoe Gnomes [2.6b][edit]

  • [After learning that Dee Dee was gonna pass out cookies to the gnomes]
  • Dexter: Stupid me.

Lab of the Lost [2.6c][edit]

Dexter: Look, there's R2-D2!

Labels [2.7a][edit]

  • [Later that night, Dexter guzzles down apple juice and cannot stop drinking it despite his bloated belly]
  • [Dexter, who has somehow gotten the "Dee Dee" label off, and Dee Dee are being made to clean off every single label as punishment for the mess they made]
  • Dexter: I sure hope you're happy, Dee Dee, considering this is all your fault.
  • Dee Dee: No way! YOU started it, Dorkster! YOU put labels on all my dolls!
  • Dexter: Well, you were the one that labeled all the food!
  • Dexter's Mom: Honey, why is the carpet all wet here?

Game Show [2.7b][edit]

Fantastic Boyage [2.7c][edit]

Filet of Soul [2.8a][edit]

Dad: What can we say about our beloved Fishy?
Dee Dee: Not much, we only had him for one day.

Dexter: Good night Einstein. Good night Major Glory! Good night, ghost of dead Fishy.

Dexter: Dee Dee! Did you see the disgusting spook-fish that almost killed me?
Dee Dee: No. I just like to run around and scream real loud!

Dee Dee: *ghostly voice* Dexter! Dexter! Where are you?! Help me! Help me!
Dexter: Dee Dee, are you playing tricks? (shakes fearfully) Hiding in the closet trying to scare me?
Dee Dee: *ghostly voice* Dexter! The toilet! The toilet!
[Dexter races to the bathroom to find Dee Dee's feet sticking out of the toilet; she is then flushed down the toilet]
Dexter: Dee Dee! [Dee Dee is flushed down into the toilet bowl] No! Dee Dee, come back! Dee Dee, I'm ordering you to come out of this toilet!
Dee Dee: [her apparition appears in the shower] Dexter, help me! I am trapped in the Sewer Beyond!
Dexter: No, you're not! I just saw you go down the toilet!
Dee Dee: Listen to me! There's lots of bad fishies and stuff here and they won't let me go! They won't rest until Fishy is on the other side! You've got to flush Fishy, Dexter!
Dexter: [tries to reach Fishy's corpse] Can't reach! It's no use! My arms, they are too short!
Dee Dee: Come on, genius boy! Figure it out!
Dexter: [grabs a toilet plunger and pulls Dee Dee out. The apparition of Dee Dee disappears from the shower and Dee Dee is freed] Dee Dee, flush the fish, NOW!
[Dee Dee tosses Fishy's corpse into the toilet bowl and flushes it down]

Dee Dee: Whew! I'm sure glad that's over. Huh?
[A tentacle extends out of the toilet bowl, grabs Dee Dee and pulls her back into the toilet]
Dee Dee: Help me! Dexter, it's pulling me back, and they're angry, Dexter, REAL ANGRY!
Dexter: [grabs the handle trying to pull Dee Dee free] Why?! We flushed the stupid fish!
Dee Dee: Its soul, Dexter! It's still in the trap! [the Apparition Containment Unit shakes up with a WARNING signal active in Dexter's room] DO SOMETHING! [Dexter reaches for the fishing rod and grabs it just as the toilet begins flushing her down] HEEEEEEEELP!
[Dexter casts his fishing rod. The line extends from the bathroom to Dexter's room, at which point the hook presses the containment unit's "open" button. This frees Fishy's soul and he follows the fishing line's path into the bathroom. Just as Dexter pulls Dee Dee out of the toilet, Fishy happily goes down into it and travels into the Sewer Beyond, departing into the afterlife. Dad then walks in to see the two of them sitting of the floor.]
Dad: How many times have I told you? Early morning is daddy's special bathroom privacy time. [Upon the flash of lightning, he gains golden glowing eyes with slit pupils and sharp teeth and laughs maniacally]

Golden Diskette [2.8b][edit]

Dexter and Prof. Hawk's fans: You crazy girl! Look what you've done!
Professor Hawk: Not to worry boys. [to Dee Dee] Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. Thank you.
Dexter and Prof. Hawk's fans: Hey! Hey! Hey! What's happening here, Professor?
Professor Hawk: Oh, now, boys, hold on. It's very simple. You see, for the past several years I focused on brain power leading my body to wither. But this young princess reminded me how important my body was, with her innocence and naivety.
Dexter and Prof. Hawk's fans: Princess?! But what about the mysterious grand prize?
Professor Hawk: Mmm-hmm. You're right. I've got it! Let's have dance contest. Whoever wins, wins the factory!

Snowdown [2.9a][edit]

Dexter: I know she is my sister, a girl and the neighbourhood champ, but could you please tell Dee Dee to stop PUMMELLING ME WITH SNOWBALLS?!
Dad: Did you say...snowballs?
Dexter: Uh....Yeah....
Dad: They...called me Champ. Back when I had...the gift. [flashes back to his childhood] I was a natural from day one. As I grew, so did my skills. In high school, I was untouchable!
High school kid: Hey, grow up man!
Dad: [VO] They were all just jealous! Jealous of my powers! For I was a king, a force of nature, I was the ultimate snowball warrior! Then I went to college. I was never the same again! [remembers being struck by one snowball]
Dad: That....was the coldest winter...ever... But that's where you come in! You can help me reclaim my title!
Dexter: Why not just let Dee Dee do it?
Dad: No! Her powers are evil. Only as father and son can we truly carry on the legacy. Let the training begin!

Dad: Dexter, five words: Scoop, roll, throw, hit, duck!

Figure Not Included [2.9b][edit]

Mock 5 [2.9c][edit]

Dad: The first thing any racer needs is a car! All the best racers drive cars it's how they go but cars don't grow on trees! Except this one 'cos it's made of wood. Behold, the Mock 5!

Mandark: It's Racer D! The most beautiful racer in the world! Racer D.... [crashes his kart]

Dad: I can't look, did he crash? No! No, he did just the opposite, he won! Winning is the part I enjoy most about racing especially when the winner is my son! Congratulations Dexter, you've made me very proud.
Dexter: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: If only your.... [sniffling] older sister Dee Dee were here to see this...
Dee Dee: I'm right here, Dad!
Dad: Oh, Dee Dee..! Dee Dee, where have you been all these years?!
Dee Dee: Right behind you.
Dad: Oh, you know I never look back there, ha-ha!
Dexter: Huh?! No, Monkey! That's not candy! That's boiling lava!

Ewww That's Growth [2.10a][edit]

Dee Dee: Hey Dexter, looks like we're next. Dexter?!
Dexter: Oh boy! Oh boy! We're next!

Dexter: I'm on top of the WORLD!

Dexter: This is the greatest day of my entire life! [his head gets hit by the top edge of the roller coaster's tunnel]

Nuclear Confusion [2.10b][edit]

Dee Dee: [narrating] Dexter, I have hidden your funny glowy thing! Now you have to find it! Just follow the clues! Won't this be fun?
Dexter: Dee Dee! She does not realize the danger she has caused! If I do not retrieve the nuclear core in 1 hour, it will meltdown, causing a chain reaction which will destroy the Earth! And I won't be able to read my book! [runs] No time to waste!

Dexter: [reads] Clue #1. Apple, cherry, blueberry. Are squared. Which pie holds the next clue? [tries to touch the pie]
Dexter's Mom: Dexter?
Dexter: Yipe! [turns to mom]
Dexter's Mom: Ah... If you wanted some pie, all you have to do is ask. Which flavour do you want?
Dexter: One of each.

Dexter: Once again, my enormous intellect has triumphed. Now I can test my new lamp and read my book and... [finds out the book is gone and the paper is in the same place] No! The book is gone? How can--? Huh? [reads the paper]
Dee Dee: [narrating] Dear Dexter, if you want to get your book back, just follow the clues!
Dexter: Nooo! Deeee Deeeeee!

Germ Warfare [2.10c][edit]

A Hard Day's Day [2.11a][edit]

Dee Dee: Mom! Dexter's mooning me!

Road Rash [2.11b][edit]

Dee Dee: Can't catch me!

Ocean Commotion [2.11c][edit]

The Bus Boy [2.12a][edit]

The Justice Friends: Things That Go Bonk in the Night [2.12b][edit]

Major Glory: You want a piece of me, junior?!
Puppet Pal Mitch: Oh-hoo! You're bonking up the wrong tree, buddy!

Ol' McDexter [2.12c][edit]

Dexter: [holds up a potato powered light] Hey Jebediah!
Jebediah: [screams in pain] My eyes!
Dexter: Look, I made a potato powered light just for you!
Jebediah: Evil! I'll be having none of this! You must be punished!

Sassy Come Home [2.13a][edit]

Photo Finish [2.13b][edit]

Star Check Unconventional [2.14a][edit]

Dexter is Dirty [2.14b][edit]

Mom: Dex, it's time for your bath!
Dexter: But I'll miss my show!
Mom: Don't argue with me, young man, just do it!

Ice Cream Scream [2.14c][edit]

Ice Cream Man: You are wanting to know why? You mean you do not remember?
Dexter: Remember what?
Ice Cream Man: April 19, one year ago: It is first day on job. Everything is going great, until you come. You want the most expensive ice cream. I make suggestion of cheaper ice cream, but no, you want expensive one. And after I'm giving you ice cream, you pay with PENNIES. Do you know how long it took me to count those pennies?
Dexter: Emm... at an average human rate, I'd estimate about 5 hours and 33 minutes?
Ice Cream Man: Precisely. And when the counting was done, it is time to put pennies in safe. Then I'm noticing my shoelaces untied. Now, I couldn't very well stop to tie my shoes since somebody had given me a heavy jar of pennies to hold, and the ice cream man rules say to keep any amount of money OVER a dollar in the safe. So, I trip, and I break my tooth. The pain, it is so bad. My girlfriend left me, I lose apartment, I lose car, I'm forced to live on the freeway with wild animals, I CAN'T EVEN EAT ICE CREAM BECAUSE OF THE PAIN! ALL BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPID PENNIES! [screams angrily, then breathes hardly]
Dexter: [chuckles] You know, I still have all of my baby teeth. Ern... I'm sorry. I'm really, really, really, REALLY sorry.
Ice Cream Man: Forget about it, kid.
Dexter: Well, in that case, can I order my ice cream now?
Ice Cream Man: Sure.
Dexter: I'll just have a Choco-Pop, please. [the Ice Cream Man gives him a Choco-Pop ice cream] At last, ice cream to eat!
Ice Cream Man: Dollar fifty, please.
Dexter: [gives a hundred dollar bill to Ice Cream Man] You got change for a hundred?
[Ice Cream Man screams angrily again]

Decode of Honor [2.15a][edit]

World's Greatest Mom [2.15b][edit]

Ultrajerk 2000 [2.15c][edit]

Ultrabot 2000: Greetings, Dexter. Welcome to my laboratory.
Dexter: Emm, excuse me. But, did you say your laboratory?
Ultrabot 2000: Yes, Dexter. My laboratory. While you slumbered, I began an analysis of your primitive laboratory finding it to be highly inefficient. I discovered that by salvaging useful components and destroying obsolete ones, I was able to create this tower capable of performing functions thousands of times greater than its predecessor, rendering a former laboratory and its creator obsolete. And all obsolete materials must be destroyed.
Dexter: [chuckles] Well, then. It sounds like you had a busy night. I'll just unplug it for a little while and you can get some rest. [Ultrabot 4000 Observation Unit attacks him]

Dexter: I have created a monster. I got to destroy him.
Ultrabot 2000: I heard that. [Ultrabot 4000 Observation Unit attacks him again]
Dexter: His laboratory, eh? We'll just see about that one.

Dexter: [hides in a safe place] Drat. What I need is a diversion, something to draw their fire. Dee Dee! Oh, but Dee Dee is only around when I don't want her. [smiles in silence and pretends to be talking to Dee Dee] Oh, I certainly do have a lot of work to do, and I do not wish to be disturbed! I have no time to play now, so many thingies to do.
Dee Dee: [arrives] Hi, Dexter!
[Ultrabot 4000 Observation Units aim at Dee Dee]
Ultrabot 2000: Attention, new organism. You are intruding in my laboratory. Prepare to be destroyed.
Dee Dee: Hey, Dexter, what are you doing way up there?
Ultrabot 2000: I am not Dexter. Dexter is obsolete. I am Ultrabot 2000.
Dee Dee: Gee, Dexter. You look like Dexter.
Ultrabot 2000: Not Dexter. Ultrabot 2000. Dexter is obsolete.
Dee Dee: You sound like Dexter too, Dexter.
Ultrabot 2000: Dexter is obsolete and must be destroyed. I am Omnibot, the most efficient life form in the universe.
Dee Dee: Boy, you sure act like Dexter. And if you look like Dexter, sound like Dexter and act like Dexter, then you MUST be Dexter!
Ultrabot 2000: [Ultrabot 4000 Observation Units aim at it] I am not Dexter. Dexter must be destroyed.
Dee Dee: Whatever you say, Dexter. OK, see you later, Dexter. [leaves]
Ultrabot 2000: [last words] No, wait. Don't listen to her. [Ultrabot 4000 Observation Units attack it and the control tower explodes] [Dexter approaches Omnibot's slightly active eye and kicks it, shutting it down]

Techno Turtle [2.16a][edit]

Surprise! [2.16b][edit]

Got Your Goat [2.16c][edit]

Dee Dee Be Deep [2.17a][edit]

911 [2.17b][edit]

EBS announcer: We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
[The TV shows the last scene of the Action Hank episode]
Action Hank: Phew! Well, I must say that was the most action I have ever seen. I doubt I will ever have a more adventurous adventure ever.
[Dexter starts crying uncontrollably]

Down in the Dumps [2.17c][edit]

Unfortunate Cookie [2.18a][edit]

The Muffin King [2.18b][edit]

Dad: Like? Like?! Kids, I loved her muffins more than life itself. Those muffins are the reason I married your mother.

Dad: [Dressed as Mom] Muffin Time!

Dad:[Hidden in the dark] Dexter. Son, could you come in here for a moment? I need to talk to you.
Dexter: And just what is it you want?
Dad:[steps out of the shadows, with a presence like Darth Vader] Dexter. I... am your father!
Dexter[shocked]That is not possible![but returns back to reality]Oh wait, no, you're right.
Dad: So join me! Come to the Muffin Side. Do not resist. It is your destiny.
Dexter: Never!

Picture Day [2.19a][edit]

Now That's a Stretch [2.19b][edit]

Dexter Detention [2.19c][edit]

Dexter: We are free!
Prison Warden: Looks like you broke into the state prison.

Don't Be a Baby [2.20a][edit]

Dexter: Computer, what the heck is going on?!
Computer: Goo goo ga ga goo goo pee-pee!
Dexter: Hmm, yes, pee-pee...

Dee Dee: Dad stop being a stinker!
[She picks Dad up and then sniffs the air smelling something stinky]
Dee Dee: Ew, speaking of stinky...time to change your diaper!
[She sets Dad down on the floor and proceeds to change his diaper, afterwards holding up the dirty diaper which has a large brown spot on the seat]
Dee Dee: That's a little powder.
[She sprinkles a whole lot of baby powder which fills the air causing Dad to cough]
Dee Dee: All done!

Dial M for Monkey: Peltra [2.20b][edit]

G.I.R.L. Squad [2.20c][edit]

Sports a Poppin' [2.21a][edit]

Koosalagoopagoop [2.21b][edit]

Project Dee Dee [2.21c][edit]

Topped Off [2.22a][edit]

Dexter's Dad: Hmm... What the? [cuts to mugs leaking coffee, coffee pot, and milk] The kitchen's a mess. Something wrong here. [eyes go open] [searches through cabinets] Coffee, coffee, where's the coffee? Hello, coffee? WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL THE COFFEE?!?!?!
Dee Dee: Uh...
Dexter and Dee Dee: We drank it all. [Dad looks shocked, then eerily calm]
Dexter's Dad: You... drank the coffee? [laughs] You two drank the coffee?
Dexter and Dee Dee: [nervous giggling]
Dexter's Dad: [laughing] [goes upset] Where did I go wrong? I thought I was a good father. I thought I brought you kids up right. You see, kids, coffee is what we adults need to get started in the morning. It's the key to our ignition. You kids don't need it. No. You've got youth. We adults need the coffee. But now, all we have is... [holds up empty coffee pot] THIS! [tries to get a drop from the coffee pot but nothing comes out] Empty! A mere shell of its former self! I've seen some pretty horrible things in my life. But this... this is just... [lowers his voice to a hiss] SICK! [sobbing]

[Dexter and Dee standing in front of Dexter's parents in their morning clothes drinking coffee]
Dexter's Dad: Everything is going to be OKAY! We had coffee after all! [with a bit frightened look] But what if we didn't?

Dee Dee's Tail [2.22b][edit]

Lee Lee: Are you crying?
'Dee Dee: (nods) I wanna be a real Ponypuff Princess, instead of just pretending.[Starts to cry]
Lee Lee and Mee Mee: Oh.
Mee Mee: Girl, are you feeling all right?
Dee Dee: [yelling with distraught] NO, I AM NOT FEELING ALL RIGHT!!
Mee Mee: [gets caught by a slap in the face] Hey! Watch it, girl, this is MY house! And we don't play that at my house. Mmm-mmm.
Dee Dee: Well, I am through playing. I wanna be a Ponypuff Princess for real.
Lee Lee: (gasps) Don't go there, Dee Dee.
Dee Dee: Go where?! The only place I'm going is home! [Cries all the way home]
Mee Mee: You know, all that girl ever does is scream.
[Dee Dee cries as she runs back home on all fours. Scene cuts to Dexter walking in laboratory. Scene cuts to Dee Dee and back to Dexter again.]
Dexter: Dee Dee?
Dee Dee: Dexter, you gonna make me into a pony! Use your magic science or something!
Dexter: (angry) Silence, woman! Why should I make you into a...?! Wait a minute.

No Power Trip [2.22c][edit]

Dad: Hon, when's the last time we washed the car?

Sister Mom [2.23a][edit]

The Laughing [2.23b][edit]

Clown: Joke time! Joke time! Joke time! Alright, kids. Why is 6 afraid of 7? [beat] 'Cause 7 8 9!
[the kids, minus Dexter, burst into laughter]
Dexter: I don't get it.

Dexter's Lab: A Story [2.24a][edit]

[The dog is roaming around under the table sniffing around the family]
Dad: So, Dexter, where's your new buddy? Oh! Well, hello down there!
Dog: Hey! It's the man from before!
Mom: Oh!
Dog: This one's a lady!
Mom: He certainly is friendly.
Dee Dee: Oh! Yeah, a little too friendly.

Coupon for Craziness [2.24b][edit]

Better Off Wet [2.24c][edit]

Dee Dee: Hmm... Now where was I going? [a bit of the roof lands on her head] POOL! [takes off like a jack rabbit, wearing her swimsuit, and sandals, arrives at the pool outside, flips off her slippers and puts on her swimming cap] Hurry up, Dexter! [rides the slide and lands into the pool before she squirts out water]
Dexter: I am not ready yet. [takes his hat, dressing gown, and takes off his sandals, showing his purple swimming trunks]
Dexter's Mom: [in her bikini and pumps, walks over to the pool] Dexter, ready to get wet?!
Dexter: Almost! [rubs sunscreen onto his arms]
Dexter's Dad: [appears behind Dexter's Mom] Hi, Dexter! [the camera pans in on a shocked Dexter]
Dexter: NO! [takes off]
Dexter's Dad: Dexter? [looks around]
Dexter: [blinks on the roof, thinking he is safe] Phew...
Dexter's Mom: [having thrown off her pumps, stands on the diving board, walks across to the edge, and bends down, but jumps into the air, and dives into the pool, just to disappear for mere seconds, and just in time to come back up] Come on in, Dexter, the water's great!
Dexter: Okay, Mom.
Mee Mee and Lee Lee: Hey, Dee Dee! We're here!
Dee Dee: Hi, girls, come on in!

Dexter's Dad: Boy, they sure are talented.
Dexter: You said it. [realizes Dad was right next to him]
Dexter's Dad: Boo!
Dexter: [screams in terror, Dad tries to push push him into the water, but fails when Dexter only bounces off of Dee Dee, Mee Mee, and Lee Lee's heads. He pants only for a short while] Phew!
Dexter's Dad: Darn, I just can't get that kid! [He notices Dexter's Mom walking up to the pool] Oh, well! [while Mom dips one foot into the water to check if the water's nice, Dad runs up behind her and pushes her off the edge as she screams in terror and lands in the pool]

Dexter's Dad: Good job, son, you finally made it in the pool.
Dexter: Thanks, Dad, I don't know I was so shy of the water. [Dexter's Parents and sister laugh because Dexter is naked because he has lost his trunks!]

Critical Gas [2.25a][edit]

Let's Save the World You Jerk! [2.25b][edit]

[Earth is destroyed by meteors]
Dexter: That was all your fault, you gnome!
Mandark: No way! You're taking the heat for this one, Dexter!

Average Joe [2.25c][edit]

Rushmore Rumble [2.26a][edit]

Dexter: [screaming]
Dee Dee: HI DEXTER! Penny for your thoughts?
Dexter: I'm thinking Lincoln!

Timmy's Mom: Timmy, why don't you go and play outside?
Timmy: Is it safe?
Timmy's Mom: Well if course it is.
Timmy: Okay. [runs outside the house] La La La La La La La La La La La. [plays with toy cars, sees the giant statues of Washington and Lincoln walking by, then screams, runs back to the house and slams the door]

A Boy and His Bug [2.26b][edit]

You Vegetabelieve It! [2.26c][edit]

Aye Aye Eyes [2.27a][edit]

Dee Dee and the Man [2.27b][edit]

Old Flame [2.28a][edit]

Don't Be a Hero [2.28b][edit]

My Favorite Martian [2.28c][edit]

Paper Route Bout [2.29a][edit]

The Old Switcharooms [2.29b][edit]

Mom: You Kids are in big trouble.

[Dee Dee and Dad enter Dee Dee's room and see that Dexter has destroyed it and is naked]
Dad: Grrrrr!
Dee Dee: [gasps] Dexter, you're naked! [knocks the trophy out Dad's hands, destroying it]
Dexter: Now look what you did Dee Dee. You clumsy fool!
Dad: Grrrrr!
[Cut to Dexter who is now in the doghouse, having switched "rooms" with the family dog]
Dexter: Uh? Well, at least I don't have to worry about the dog destroying my lab.
[Cut to the dog barking and howling and destroying Dexter's lab]

Trick or Treehouse [2.29c][edit]

Dee Dee: Well, well. Look who's smaller than a breadbox.
Dexter: [inside the breadbox] Dee Dee! Let me out of here!
Dee Dee: Ha! I didn't know you could stick your beak into my business, and to get even, I get to go play around in your lab.
Dexter: Please! Dee Dee! No! No! Let me out!
Dee Dee: See you 'round, shortbread!
Dexter: Dee Dee! No! No! Please! Let me out! No! No! Please! No! No! No! No!
Dee Dee: [giggles in Dexter's laboratory]
Dexter: Please! No! No!

Quiet Riot [2.30a][edit]

Accent You Hate [2.30b][edit]

Gary: You know, kid. You’ve got a funny accents. And if you haven’t read I hate kids with funny accents.

Gary: Get away from me! SHUT UP! I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!
[The statue punches Gary. The kids gasp. Gary's face grows red and big]
Gary: My face! It hurts!
Pirate Kid: Arr! Now look who has the funny accent!

Catch of the Day [2.30c][edit]

Dad Is Disturbed [2.31a][edit]

Framed [2.31b][edit]

That's Using Your Head [2.31c][edit]

DiM [2.32a][edit]

Dee Dee: You know they're all gonna burn out eventually.
Dexter: I know...

Just an Old-Fashioned Lab Song... [2.32b][edit]

Repairanoid [2.32c][edit]

Mom: When an electrical problem arises, I call a specialist! [Dad appears with a helmet and tool belt] No, honey. Not you.

sdrawkcaB [Backwards] [2.33a][edit]

Dexter: [wears a Reverse Belt and walks backwards] !skrow tI !skrow tI .elbidercni si siht ,woW .snoitca nwo ym esrever yllautca oT [to Robot] .drawrof ,hguone si taht ,toboR ,yakO .drawroF [starts to get angry] -rof ,ydaerla thgirlA [gasps in reverse] .em ylliS [laughs in reverse] .mehA [to normal] Forward.
Robot: Forward. [sets the lever from Reverse to Forward to Red to Green]
Dexter: [walks normally] Wow, my Reverse Belt is a success!

Dexter: Reverse! [[falling up with activating switch] Forward! [falling down]

Dexter: [gasps] Dee Dee?! [switch activates] !?eeD eeD [gasps in reverse]

Dexter: You! What do you think you're doing? Do you have any idea what trouble you have been causing? First, I lose my lunch, and then Mom is gonna kill me, and Dad is probably in the hospital, and another thing-

The Continuum of Cartoon Fools [2.33b][edit]

Dexter: Ah... Now I can get some work done in peace.
[The screen pans over to reveal Dee Dee working on an invention]:
Dee Dee: Hey Dexter, can you please pass the atomizer?
Dexter: Oh certainly. [He than screams in shock that Dee Dee has gotten in his lab again, and Dee Dee unwillingly screams with him. They both stop and breath very hard.]
Dexter: [Dexter began to get angry.] All right, how the heck did you get in here?! [He pushes her to a tube] Did you get in through the 2-Dimensional Facial Filter? [He presses a button and then Dee Dee started to inflate with her body over filling the tube she was in. She then turns completely flat and then is rushed down a very narrow passage way.] Yes! [Dexter then pulls out a lazer gun called the discom bobulatur and zaps the 2-Dimensional Facial Filter destroying it. Dee Dee now completely flat suddenly walks up to Dexter.]
Dee Dee: No.
Dexter: Did you get in through the secret Molecular Disconfiguration Access Port? [He tosses the flat Dee Dee inside, presses a button, and Dee Dee was absorbed into molecules and is shot out of the lab. Dexter then grabs out a lazer gun called the meltron and zaps the Molecular Disconfiguration Access Port melting it. Dee Dee in normal shape again appears next to Dexter.]
Dee Dee: No.
Dexter: A ha! You came in through the secret Sky Port. [They come into a room with a pigeon in it. The pigeon coos at them.]
Dee Dee: You're kidding?
Dexter: Cassius, emergency exit! [Cassius then grabs on to Dee Dee's pigtails and flies her out of the lab.]
Cassius: It's a living.
Dexter: [Boards up the sky port.] Phew

[Dexter swallows the key to the secret bookcase entrance]
Dexter: THERE! NOW NO ONE'S GETTING IN! [maniacal laugh]
Dee Dee: Hmmm... Yep. No one's getting into Dexter's Lab now. [leaves]
[Dexter's smile of insanity turns into a look of horror]
Dexter: ......Uhhh, oh my dear... In my overwhelming zeal to banish my sister from the lab, I have indeed locked myself out! Too blinded was I not to foresee the most piteous of fates. I have thus performed the ultimate tragic irony! [now standing in front of the 'The End' title card] Surely, I am the fool of fools on a par with no other. I am no better than that stupid coyote or that crazy duck! Look at me, look at me! I am locked in a continuum of cartoon fools! I am doomed to a life of comic mishap adventures and social indignations! And now, here I stand before you, beaten, defeated and alone...

Sun, Surf, and Science [2.33c][edit]

Big Bots [2.34a][edit]

Gooey Aliens That Control Your Mind [2.34b][edit]

Misplaced in Space [2.34c][edit]

Alien: Gork.
Dexter: [translating on his watch] 'Food?' Yeah, 'food'. You ate mine, yours, and everybody else's!
Alien: Gork.
Dexter: You can't still be hungry
Alien: Gork...
Dexter: Wh...Why are you looking at me like that?
Alien: GORK!

Dee Dee's Rival [2.35a][edit]

Dee Dee: Dexter! Dexter! [Dexter smashed his control with a hammer] Oh Dexter. I'm so glad you're here! I need your help! There's a new girl in dance class and she thinks she's better than me. And I want to be a star of the show and thought...
Lala Vala: ...use your science junk to help me beat that skinny creep.
Dee Dee: I have to win, Dexter. Or else...
Lala Vala: ...I'll be forced to break your nerdy...
Dee Dee: ...face any of the kids in class again! Please! Oh please! Oh...
Mandark: ...Oh Please don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me! I'll do it.
Dexter: But you better keep up your end of the bargain and I'll handle the rest.
Dee Dee: Oh thank you, Dexter. [kisses Dexter's nose and laughs]
Lala Vala [flings Mandark's nose and laughs]

Pslightly Psycho [2.35b][edit]

Dexter, Dee Dee and Dad: Happy Mother's Day!
Mom: New Gloves!

Game for a Game [2.35c][edit]

Blackfoot and Slim [2.36a][edit]

Narrator: The Concrete Jungle. Deep within its seemingly endless towers, glass, steel and mortar, life exists.

Narrator: For someday, we shall return to check up on this wonderful creature. This wonderful world of Blackfoot.

Trapped With a Vengeance [2.36b][edit]

Yani: [narrating] My job is simple. After the designated hours of education, the children exit to return home, while I clean, sweep and prepare their environment for the next day of education in sterile surroundings. For I am Yani the janitor. It is an uncomplicated job that leaves me much time after to spend with my beloved wife, but one children continues to complicate situation and torture. [Dexter laughs evilly in a deep voice] Night after night, he stays much time past designated hours. And when he decides to go, he leaves a residue of filth that prolongs me for my beloved for several more hours. And when I return home, my love is taking her slumber, and waking her would be catastrophical. So I wait and I plan, until the day that he will need to exit quickly for something important, for then I will have him... TRAPPED WITH A VENGEANCE!

Yani: Hello, Dexter.
Dexter: What are you, crazy or something?!
Yani: [points to dexter] No, Dexter! I want you to feel the pain that I feel when you make me stay late every night!
Dexter: What?
Yani: [opens the double doors] Here you go, Dexter. There's the exit. Go home.

Yani: So, Mr. Smarty Pants, what do you have to say now?
Dexter: Clean up this mess!

Yani's wife: Yaniiiii!
Yani: Liebchen. [Sweetheart in German language]
Yani's wife: Do not liebchen. I wait every night for you to come home, thinking that you're working hard, but here I find you goofing around with friends!
Yani: But--
Yani's wife: No. Not another word. You coming home...
Yani: But--
Yani's wife: NOOOOOWWW! [to Dexter] You, boy, open door!
Dexter: [chuckles] Yes, ma'am. [grabs Yani's keys and opens the double doors]
Yani's wife: Come, Yani.
Yani: But--
Yani's wife: COOOOOOME!!!
[The defeated Yani and his wife exit school]
Dexter: Boy, the holidays sure do make people do the craziest things. [whistling Jingle Bells]

The Parrot Trap [2.36c][edit]

Dexter's Parrot: [in Dee Dee's voice] Dexter's a cookie!
Dexter: [angrily] I am not a cookie!
Dexter's Parrot: Dexter's a cookie!
Dexter: Am not!
Dexter's Parrot: Are too, cookie! [Dexter violently shakes the stick the parrot is on, and it switches into Dexter's voice] I'm gonna bop you one, girl! [Dexter slams the parrot onto his desk, and it segues back into Dee Dee's voice] COOKIE! [Dexter repeatedly slams the parrot onto the table, until it is later seen beaten nearly into submission, and is flying away]
Dexter: Good riddance! That has to be my worst invention yet!

Dexter's Dad: Who's trying to sneak up on me?
Parrot: Dexter, boy genius. Dexter the cookie!
Dexter's Dad: Shhhh I'm trying to watch my show!
Parrot: I'm gonna bop you!
Dexter's Dad: That is no way to talk to you-
Parrot: You are a stupid girl! Get out get out get out! Yup yup yup! Don't touch anything!
[Dexter's Dad crawls away in fear]
Dexter's Dad: I-I-I-I-I'm sorry
Dexter's Parrot: [in Dee Dee's voice] You're a cookie! [in Dexter's voice] Get out get out get out!

Dexter's Mom: Alright, let's see. I'll need two eggs...
[Dexter's Mom cracks open two eggs and places them into the cooking bowl beside her]
Dexter's Mom: One stick of butter...
[Takes a stick of butter placed near her and places it into the cooking bowl]
Dexter's Mom: A half a cup of sugar...
[Dexter's Mom walks over to the left side of the kitchen counter where several containers lay as well as Dexter's Parrot. Mom takes some sugar and places it into the cooking bowl]
[Dexter's Mom walks over to a spice rack inside the kitchen where various spices are seen as well as Dexter's Parrot from out of nowhere]
Dexter's Mom: A pinch of cinnamon.
Parrot: A cup of cinnamon.
Dexter's Mom: A cup of cinnamon.
Parrot: A quart of pepper.
Dexter's Mom: A quart of pepper.
Parrot: A box of olives.
Dexter's Mom: A box of peppers.
Parrot: Yup, yup, yup!
[Dexter's Mom opens the refrigerator door inside the kitchen where the Parrot is seen inside once again]
Dexter's Mom: A block of cheese.
Parrot: A block of cheese.
Dexter's Mom: A gallon of milk.
Parrot: A gallon of milk.
[Dexter's Mom takes the Parrot out of the refridgerator]
Parrot: Are you sneaking up on me?!?
[Mom back at the kitchen counter using the Parrot as a coffee boiler and pouring it into the bowl]
Dexter's Mom: A cup of coffee.
Parrot: A cup of coffee.
[Mom settles the Parrot back down on the counter]
Dexter's Mom: Beans!
Parrot: Beans!
[Cookies fly out of the bowl suddenly]
Parrot: Cooooooooookies!
Dexter's Mom: Cooooooooookies!
Parrot: Worms and plastic minnows.
Dexter's Mom: Now wait just a minute here! ...... Where am I gonna get worms and plastic minnows?
Parrot: The Florida Everglades!
[Mom is seen immediately backing the car out of the house's driveway and driving away]

[Dexter has smashed the parrot to keep it from revealing his lab]
Dexter's Dad: Dexter!
Dexter's Mom: How many times have I told you not to throw the bird?
Dexter: But Mom, it's not a *real* bird. I built it in my secret laboratory.
[Dexter, realizing he just blabbed what the parrot didn't, claps his mouth shut]
Dee Dee: Smooth move, Dexter. Now you'll have to erase Mom and Dad's memories...again!
Parrot: Smooth move, Dexter. Smooth move, Dexter. Smooth move, Dexter.

Dexter and Computress Get Mandark! [2.37a][edit]

Dexter: You are stupid! You are stupid! And don't forget, you are stupid!

The Justice Friends: Pain in the Mouth [2.37b][edit]

Dexter vs Santa's Claws [2.37c][edit]

Dad: Dexter, what do you have to say for yourself?
Dexter: Well, I'm sorry I ruined Christmas. Again. But, isn't Christmas really about the family, and the love and the sharing and... Oh, Christmas tree! Oh, Christmas tree!
Dee Dee: You blockhead! That's not what Christmas is about!
Dexter:It's not? Then what is it about?
Santa Claus: The presents. Ho ho ho!

Dyno-Might [2.38a][edit]

Dynomutt: Oooooh, what does this button do?

Dad: Nice uniform. You on some kind of sports team?
Blue Falcon: I'm the Blue Falcon.
Dad: Oh, yeah, the Falcons! You guys didn't do so well last season.
Blue Falcon: I'm the Blue Falcon!
Dad: Aww, don't be blue!

Blue Falcon: I don't understand! This isn't like my old Dynomutt at all!
Dexter: Well... He's not, I built you an all-new one.
Blue Falcon: What? Why?
Dexter: Well, the old one was just a goofy idiot sidekick.
Blue Falcon: He wasn't JUST a goofy idiot sidekick! He was a....go-go dog person!

Blue Falcon: Remember, Dexter: It's a goofy idiot sidekick that makes a superhero SUPER.

LABretto [2.38b][edit]

Dad: [talking] Oh, you're back. [Singing] My goodness, my gracious, when will this day be done? Will I have a girl or will I have a son? [Talking] Did you say a son? You're right. I will have a son.

Dexter: [singing sadly as the spotlight shines on him] This is not fantasy. This is reality. [talking] I'm stuck for my life! I'm stuck and I'll be stuck forever! sister... [Yelling] DEE DEE!

Last But Not Beast [2.39][edit]

Mandark: All hail Mandark, the genius! All hail Mandark, the genius! Sing a song of Mandark, the greatest genius this world has ever known!
Dad: Secret laboratory? Now, Dexter, we need to straight a few things up with this secret laboratory business!


Dexter's Laboratory: Ego Trip[edit]

Old Man Dexter: [thundering voice from inside a tower] WHOO DARES TO DISTURB THE GREAT DEXTER WHILE HE DROPS SCIENCE UPON THE WORLD?
Dexter: We are the Dexters of the past. We have come from the past to try to reach your all-knowing presence!

Dexter: Dexter!
Adult Dexter: Dexter!
Old Man Dexter: Dexter! Wow!
Adult Dexter: Oh yeah man!
Dexter: You're as cool as I always wanted to be!
Muscular Dexter: Uh... Dexters?
Dexter: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we traveled forward in the time 'cause I heard I... I mean... We saved the future, but he couldn't remember. So then we went back in time to find you and we did! And it was awesome!
Muscular Dexter: Time travel, hmm... You boys will need to be filled in on a few things.
Adult Dexter: Yeah, like what happened to the world?
Dexter: And who is this science hoarding overlord?
Muscular Dexter: Mandark.
Dexter, Adult Dexter and Old Man Dexter: Mandark?!
Muscular Dexter: Many moons ago, Mandark and I were employed by the corporation as research scientists to develop new technologies for the betterment of the future. So naturally, as my genius produced a fountain of amazing ideas. A not so inspired Mandark grew more and more jealous. He began stealing my creations and presenting them as his own. As you may well remember.
Adult Dexter: [angry] Grrr!
Muscular Dexter: He soon gained favor with the executive hierarchy and was quickly promoted up through the ranks. And with one diabolical coup, Mandark overthrew and became the very President of the corporation himself. Then darkness fell. Somehow my most prized invention: the Neurotomic Protocore, fell into Mandark's clutches.
Adult Dexter: Oh my gosh, we left the core out in my cubicle. [Dexter hits him with his elbow]
Muscular Dexter: Mandark tried to employ the powers of the core but the incompetent fool set the positive flow to negative. And now corrupt energies of the core began to twist Mandark already crooked mind, making him even more greedy insane than ever before. I could take it no more. To escape the perversion of my own science, I went underground literally. I dug a tunnel out from Mandark's tower. For years I dug and dug, inching my way to freedom. But while I dug the negative Neurotomic energy swept the world, numbing the minds of the people, allowing Mandark to work his evil tentacles into every facet of technology and society. It was as though he just reached down and wrecked the Earth clean. Hoarding all science, all knowledge for himself. When I emerged I found this world broken and stupid. I did what I could to help, but with the overlord's robots enforcing terror across the land and very few resources at my disposal, it's been a fight just to survive.
Dexter: Aw, buck up, hero, we found the lab and we can all help.
Muscular Dexter: The laboratory!?! I had thought it lost forever. But with the power of the lab plus the genius of me times four equals, the cataclysmic collapse of the overlord's empire of oppression!
Dexter, Adult Dexter and Old Man Dexter: Yeah!
Muscular Dexter: To the laboratory!

Muscular Dexter: I'd like to take this time to pat myselfs on the back. Gentlemen, here's to another greatest work completed, for tomorrow we storm the castle!
Dexter, Adult Dexter and Old Man Dexter: Yeah!
[The four Dexters clink the root beer bottles]

[The Mandarks rally to stop the Dexters from getting the Neurotomic Proto-Core]
Young Mandark: No! I've always wanted the Core!
Adult Mandark: No! I stole the Core!
Overlord Mandark: No! The Core is mine!
Mandark's Brain: No! Just because I'm bitter and jealous!

Old Man Dexter: I remember! I REMEMBER! Dee Dee was the one who saved the future!
Dexter: What? No way!
Adult Dexter: That didn't just happen!
Muscular Dexter: I wanted to be the one who saved the future!
Old Man Dexter: Argh! That girl!
[The Dexters start building robots]
Dexter: I'll teach her to mess up my future savings.
Adult Dexter: Yeah, we'll show her!
Muscular Dexter: Ooh, that little ding dong!
Old Man Dexter: We'll get her once and for all!
[The Dexters finish building robots]
Dexter: Robots! Destroy the one who saved the future! [The robots walk towards the time machine] Well. Huh. That should take care of Dee Dee. It looks like the future is back on track.
Muscular Dexter: I've got a lot of cleaning up to do but with a positive flow of the core everything should work out fine.
Dexter: Well then, we should be getting back to our own times. Goodbye, Dexter.
Muscular Dexter: Goodbye, Dexter.
Dexter: Goodbye, Dexter.
Old Man Dexter: Goodbye, Dexter.
Dexter: Goodbye, Dexter.
Adult Dexter: Goodbye, Dexter.
Muscular Dexter: Goodbye, Dexter.
Old Man Dexter: Goodbye, Dexter.
Adult Dexter: Goodbye, Dexter.
Muscular Dexter: Goodbye, Dexter.
Adult Dexter: Goodbye, Dexter.
Old Man Dexter: Goodbye, Billy.

Dexter: Well, that wasn't exactly what I expected, but I did turn out pretty cool in the future. [sees himself fighting the robots and is surprised] Wait a minute, I'm still here fighting those robots. [breaks the fourth wall] But wait, those are the robots I just built to get Dee Dee while we're building the future. But now I'm about to destroy them before I even decide to go into the future. So that means when I came back, I came back too far, back before I ever left. So I must have come... No I... Or they were... Oh, forget it. Time travel hurts my brain.

Season 3[edit]

Streaky Clean [3.1a][edit]

Dexter: [singing] Making the science, la la, la, making the science- [He grabs a test tube and it accidentally flies upwards.] Oopsy. [It falls on the table, splattering on his shirt.] Oh, would you look at that? How could I concentrate to the full capacity of my genius covered in such a filth? [He walks away] Blech!

[Dexter, now in his room, is undressing himself and replaces his messy lab coat, gloves and shoes with new, clean ones from his closet. After redressing, he jumps triumphantly.]

Dexter: [He walks back to his work area.] Now, back to the business. [He begins mixing his substance again.] Yes, yes! [He mixes more vigorously] This will be my greatest experiment ever! [He proudly holds his arm up, not realizing his beaker is about to fall over, which it does, making the same mess. Dexter holds his lab coat by wear the spill is.] Oh, for the sake of Pete...

[Dexter returns to his room to change again.]

Dexter: [Again, he walks back to his work area.] Okay now, here we a-go! [He slowly rises up to his work area. He carefully grabs his beaker.] Carefully, carefully. [He holds up a test tube and begins to pour another substance into the beaker.] Yes, that is it. Perfect, perfect! [A drop splashes Dexter's lab coat.] Oh HECK this is turning out to be!

[Dexter, once again, returns to his room to throw away another lab coat. He goes over to his closet to get another one. To his surprise, there are none left.]

Dexter: Hmm...MOM...!

[A breeze blows through Dexter's bedroom window, causing him to shiver]

Dexter: What is taking her so long?
Dexter: [Dexter pokes his head out his door] Hey, mom! Shake a leg or something! [his mom arrives and opens the door but he doesn't notice] Mom! Mom! [he finally notices her and covers himself in embarrassment] HEY! [runs back in his room]
Mom: [chuckles] Oh, come on out, Shy Boy. Here's your little play clothes all fresh and clean. But I just can't understand how you manage to stain your little outfit so quickly.
Dexter: Yeah, yeah, mom. It's a real enigma. [grabs his lab coat] Now, if you'll excuse me, I have much work to be doing. [takes his lab coat and gloves with him and closes the door]
Dad: The boy's right, dear. [puts his hands on his wife's hips] There is much work to be doing.

[Dexter streaks through the meadow]

Dexter: Oh boy, that was a close one. I just have to get to Ruthy's Field, and I will be home free! Home...

[Dexter streaks past a hippie couple sitting on a rock who smile as they watch him pass by, thinking he's celebrating the freedom of his nakedness]

Male Hippie: Right on, brother!

Mind Over Chatter [3.2a][edit]

Dexter: [in his mind] Yuck! Mom's oatmeal! Tastes like barf!
Mom [gasps] Dexter! Don't be rude!
Dexter: [confused] Huh?
Dexter: [in his mind while watching Dee Dee scarfing down her oatmeal] That sister of mine! What a ferocious pig!
Dee Dee: Hey! I'm no pig!
Mom : That is enough Dexter! Time for school.
Dexter: But wait Dad, what-
Dad: The answer is no! Now get!
Dexter: [in his mind] Dad, what a stubborn poopoo doody head!
Dad: I heard that!
Mom: And we are going to have a serious talk about your potty mouth when you get home from school today!

Momdark [3.2c][edit]

Mom: Huh, what did he mean when he said, "your lab", Dexter?
Dexter: I don't know.

A Mom Cartoon [3.4b][edit]

Mom: Oh Dad will just love this!

Shop Announcer: Attention shoppers, we have a red light sale on aisle 8 on... latex gloves!

Mom: Would you look at that, the very last pair! Must be my lucky day!

Shop Announcer: Attention shoppers,...

Tele Trauma [3.5c][edit]

Dexter: Just last night my friend TV and I went out to eat. I ordered a TV dinner and he got the satellite dish!
[Everyone laughs]
Mr. Luzinsky: Dexter, stop that immediately.
Dexter: Sit on it, Fonz!

A Third Dad Cartoon [3.9b][edit]

Dad: Aw well, I guess we'll have to try again next week.

Season 4[edit]

Beau Tie [4.1a][edit]

Beau: I've always loved science.

Dexter's Library [4.2c][edit]

Dexter: Ah, the sweet and silent solitude of the school library.
Boy: Oh yeah, we're so prepared for this. This is going to be a great game, we're going to kicky Booty.
Girl: Our new cheers are so awesome. Wait until you see them, you're not gonna believe it!
Dexter: Ahem! [puts the piece of paper that says "No talking in the Library!" in the book on the table] [takes the book from the boy] No book for you, [takes the other book from the girl] and no book for you!

Dexter: [stops the boy trying to eat an apple] No, uh-uh. You know the rules. No food or drink in the library. [takes the book from him] No book for you!

Dexter: [takes the book that is stepped on by a girl trying to reach the other book, she falls down] Mis-using school property, you know better than that. No book for you!

Dexter: Ah, here we are. 701.328. [gasps] Hello! What is this?! "Green Bacon and Eggs"! What is a children's book doing in coelacanth paleobiology? [gets enraged]

Dexter: Miss Salinger, Miss Salinger.
Salinger: Yes, what is it, Dexter?
Dexter: I have found an inappropriately placed piece of fiction.
Salinger: Really? Well, be a dear and place it in its proper home.
Dexter: [drops the book] Ahh. Library patrons speaking at unacceptable volumes, eating snacks, abusing school property, and now this. Ahh, it is all very disappointing. [breaks the fourth wall] You know, I like Miss Salinger and all, but if this were my library, such behavior within these hallowed shelves would not be tolerated.
Salinger: Oh, my, look at the time. Dexter, I have to be at a staff meeting. I need you to keep an eye on things for one hour.

Dexter: Finally, a school library dedicated to the pure appreciation of the English language. Dexter, you have done it again. Next! [a girl arrives with a book in her hand] Sarah Goldfarm. Another early return, I see. [Sarah gives the book to him] Ha ha ha! "Stranger Rick": August 2001. A solid subject matter, [drops the book] but a little sophomoric for second grade. Would you not agree? [Robot burns the book] Robot, please retrieve some less frivolous reading for Miss Goldfarm? Perhaps something from coealacanth paleobiology, a personal favorite subject of mine.
Robot: [goes in search of a book in a library cabinet and returns to Dexter] Cannot confirm target.
Dexter: "Cannot confirm target"? You illiterate Android! [slaps the robot] Must I spell everything out for you recycled soup cans? [writes the piece of paper and puts it on the Robot's head] Well! [The Robot goes in search of a book again] [whistles] Heh heh heh!
Robot: [returns to Dexter] System error. Cannot confirm target.
Dexter: [gets angry] Arrrr! [punches the Robot's head] WHY MUST I DO EVERYTHING MYSELF?!

Dexter: [grumbles as he climbs the stairs in the librarian cabinet] ...stupid-looking robots. There. "Coealacanth Paleonbiology". Now, how difficult was that? [opens his eyes and is surprised] "GREEN BACON AND EGGS"?! BUT I DO NOT LIKE "GREEN BACON AND EGGS"! There is not a walnut brained ape among you who is worthy to share my world-class collection of written history.

Salinger: Dexter, I am very disappointed in you. I leave you in charge of the library for one hour, and look what you do. Just look at this mess.
Dexter: But-- but-- I... they...
Salinger: I'm giving you the maximum library penalty.
Dexter: [gasps] No! Not that! Please, Miss Salinger. No!
Salinger: That's right. You can only check out 4 books a week, instead of 5.
Dexter: [sobs] It's not very nice of you. NOOOOOOOOO!
Crowd: Shhh!

2Geniuses 2Gether 4Ever [4.8c][edit]

Dexter: Ah, all done.
Mandark: It's about time. Well, let's see what we've got. [takes off the blindfold] Ah! At last, my darkest creation is completed!
Dexter: [gives the remote control to Mandark] After you.
Mandark: May I? [grabs the remote control] With a push of this button, I, Mandark, will unleash a mind-bending transmission which will put the entire universe under my control. And that means you, too, Dorkster. I have double-crossed you once again. And now it will all be mine! [laughs] Ha!
[Mandark tries pressing the button over and over, and Dexter plugs the power cord into an electrical outlet, and the invention explodes by displaying the title of the television series as a reference to the intro]
Dexter: Ha! Well, well, well, Mandark, who double-crossed whom?
Mandark: This was supposed to be mine, Dexter! All mine, not yours! Mine!
Dexter: Well, like I always say: if you can't play with the big dogs, stay on the porch. Ha ha! [The "The End" logo in white appears on the screen] Hey! What is going on? I am trying to wax poetic here.

Folly Calls [4.9c][edit]

Dexter: [sees Dee Dee's hair cut off and laughs insanely] OH, YOU'RE KILLING ME! [laughing and snorting]
Dee Dee: So?
Dexter: Now, Dee Dee. We have been through this scenario so many times before, and you know that I am helpless to assist you for one simple and very basic reason: you are STUPID!
Dee Dee: Oh, please, Dexter. Please! Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please! Oh, please, Dexter! Use your vast and unlimited knowledge of science to help me get my hair back! Pretty please.
Dexter: Well, no.
Dee Dee: Alright, Dexter, but remember... [grows bigger] I am your big sister! [grows some more] AND I WILL CRUSH YOU LIKE A BUG... [grows again] ...IF YOU DON'T DO AS I SAY!

Dexter: Now, Dee Dee, pay attention. You are only to apply one drop of this stuff. Do you understand? One drop, not 2 drops, not 3 drops, not 75 drops. JUST ONE DROP! GOT IT?!
Dee Dee: Yeah. Of course I got it, Dexter. Just one drop. [sings and leaves the lab] One drop, one drop, one drop, one drop...

[Dee Dee screams while running entering the lab]
Dexter: Let me guess. You used more than one drop.
Dee Dee: It was too one drop, Dexter! Just a really, really big one drop!
Dexter: Hmm...

Comic Stripper [4.10c][edit]

Dexter: You did it all wrong, Mandark. I figured out you were copying "Mister Misery" all along, so I played your own game against you. [Mandark pretends to be yawning] And then you have the nerve [throws the "Mister Misery" comic] not to even follow the dumb story! Oh, and one other thing... WHAT IS WITH ALL THIS STUPID QUACKING?!
Mandark: Well, you see, Dexter. I went to buy "Mister Misery" but the store was all sold out. So I picked up a copy of "Dangerous Duck" instead.
Dexter: And do you know why "Mister Misery" was all sold out? Because I bought them all.
Mandark: Hmm. Well, then. If you bought them all, how did you expect me to know all "Mister Misery"'s new fight moves then?! [Dexter is upset and a donkey appears] QUACK. [teases Dexter and walks away]

Chicken Scratch [4.12b][edit]

Dexter: [screams in shock] What are the strange protrusions? I must investigate immediately. [Dee Dee arrives while singing] Uh-oh.

Dexter: OK, Dee Dee, way too much has happened this morning so, please, GET OUT OF MY LABORATORY! [closes the door] I have no time for her foolishness today.
Dee Dee: [opens the door] But, Dexter, I'm not in your labor... [stops and looks at Dexter] YOU'VE GOT CHICKENPOX!
Dexter: Chickenpox? What is this pox of the chicken?
Dee Dee: Poor Dexter, so knowledgeable in science, but doesn't have enough common sense to know what chickenpox is. Well, a long time ago, a group of evil, contaminated chickens escaped from jail, and started to break into children's houses where they pecked away, giving huge, itchy pimples. And if you stratch them, you turn into an evil, contaminated chicken.
Dexter: Are you crazy, wom-? [scratches]
Dee Dee: [clucks].
Dexter: [screams in fear] I do not want to be an evil, contaminated chicken.
Dee Dee : Then, don't scratch! [leaves Dexter's room]
Dexter: That seems simple enough. [scratches and stops] I'd better keep myself busy so as not to think about the itching.

Dexter: Perfect. [thinking while scratching] Now, how much dioxide detrolium should I add? Hmm... what is the correct amount? [stops thinking and scratching and laughs] Silly me! [scratches again] Avoiding scratching this whole time? [freaks out] ROBOT! More drastic measures must be taken.
Robot: Yes, Dexter?
Dexter: Robot, if you see me scratching a part of my body, I want you to zap me with 100 watts of electrons.
Robot: Yes, Dexter. [zaps Dexter]
Dexter: I wasn't ready, Robot.
Robot: Yes, Dexter. [zaps Dexter again]
Dexter: I said I wasn't ready.
Robot: Yes, Dexter.
Dexter: No, Robot, wait! [robot zaps him again] This is not working. [robot zaps him again] STOP, ROBOT!

Dexter: A new invention must be created.

Dexter: [after creating his invention] Success!

Dexter: [destroys the straps after failing to hold back the itching] GOTTA SCRATCH!

Dee Dee: Hello! [stops and looks at Dexter] [screams and ducks under her bed] [peeks out] Dexter, is that you?
Dexter: [turns to Dexter who is now turned into a chicken] Yeah, I scratched.

Lost Episode[edit]

Rude Removal[edit]

Dee Dee: Oooh! Dexter's got gas!

Rude Dexter: Where the f'ck are we?
Rude Dee Dee: Beats the cr'p out of me!
Dexter: [With a British accent] Why, you're in Dexter's Laboratory, silly. I'm Dexter, and this golden-haired angel behind me is my charming sister, Dee Dee.
Dee Dee: [With a British accent] Charmed!
Rude Dexter: Ah, f'ck off!
Dexter and Dee Dee: [gasp] Oh dear!

Mom: I hope you're hungry, 'cause I made a [trips over Rude Dexter] very... SPECIAL LUNCH THAT I GOT FROM A RECIPE THAT I... FOUND IN A BESSIE CRACKER MAGAZINE! [pants] I hope you like it.
Mom: [dizzy] Well, what do you think, Dexter?
Rude Dexter: [mouth full] I think it tastes like sh't! [spits at Mom]
Mom: [faints]

Mom: [angry] Dexter! No, absolutely not! You cannot have any dessert!
Rude Dexter: Why? You want it all to yourself?
Mom: [gasps, then faints]

Mom: Now to clean those filthy mouths.
Dexter: [to the audience] Oh, sh't!

External links[edit]

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