Down Periscope is a 1996 comedy movie starring Kelsey Grammer as the captain of a rust-bucket submarine (called the USS Stingray) who is fighting for his career. Rob Schneider provides comic support as the uptight executive officer, and Lauren Holly as the Navy's first female submarine crewmember.
Lt. Commander Dodge
- [On Pascal's transfer request] Forget it. You think you're the only one embarrassed to be here, you think this is the command I dreamed about? Well we're all in this mess together, mister. And you and your career are in the hands of those very assholes! Including this one. That answer your question?
- [After the Stingray's overhaul] Well done, guys. She may not be the youngest girl at the ball... but she'll turn a head or two. If she drives as well as she looks, we may even survive!
Rear Adm. Yancy Graham
- [Objecting at a meeting of flag officers regarding Dodge's command] Now, call me a prude if you want, but I don't think it's good policy for the Navy to hand over a billion-dollar piece of equipment to a man who has "Welcome Aboard" tattooed on his penis!
- [Adm. Winslow reviews his special mission with Cmdr. Dodge.]
- VAdm. Dean Winslow: What do you think, Mr. Dodge?
- LCdr. Tom Dodge: I think I'm gonna get my ass kicked, sir.
- Winslow: Aw, don't gimme that! Damn it to hell, don't go by the book! Think like a pirate! I want a man with a tattoo on his dick! Have I got the right man?
- Dodge: By a strange coincidence, you do, sir.
- [The Stingray is lying silent on the bottom while the Orlando floats above them. An Orlando crewman drops loose change while buying at the sub commissary and Sonar Lovacelli hears it.]
- S2C Sonar Lovacelli: Sir. It's the Orlando. Somebody just dropped 45 cents.
- Cmdr. Dodge: You're sure?
- Sonar: Oh, yeah. A quarter and two dimes.
- [Pascoe inspects the galley]
- Lt Martin Pascoe: Jesus, Buckman! This stuff's been on the Stingray since Korea! This can expired in 1966!
- Seaman Buckman: What's the matter, sir? It still tastes like cream of corn.
- Pascoe: Except- it's deviled ham!
- Buckman: Now that would be a problem.
- [The Orlando finds the Stingray again after it breaks off from a tanker it used to slip past the Navy blockade at Norfolk]
- Rear Admiral Yancy Graham: He's already ahead of us! [goes to the periscope station] The admiral has the conn!
- Commander Carl Knox: With all due respect sir, this is my boat.
- Graham: Oh, not right now it's not, with all due respect. [to helm] All ahead full, course, two-five-zero.
- [During the Stingray's homecoming]
- Rear-Admiral Yancy Graham: Sir, this entire exercise is invalid. Dodge left the containment area -
- Vice-Admiral Dean Winslow: - after you narrowed him down without proper authorization.
- Graham: He ignored a direct order!
- Winslow: Stow it, Yancy. He had higher orders...and you can forget about that third star. [Smiles and walks away]
- Kelsey Grammer — Lt. Cmdr. Thomas "Tom" Dodge
- Lauren Holly — Lt. Emily Lake, Diving Officer
- Rob Schneider — Executive Officer (XO) Martin T. "Marty" Pascoe
- Harry Dean Stanton — CPO Howard, Chief Engineer
- Bruce Dern — Rear Adm. Yancy Graham
- William H. Macy — Orlando Cmdr. Carl Knox
- Ken Hudson Campbell — Seaman Buckman
- Toby Huss — Seaman Nitro
- Duane Martin — Planesman 1st Class Jefferson "R.J." Jackson
- Jonathan Penner — Seaman Stanley "Spots" Sylvesterson
- Bradford Tatum — Engineman 1st Class Brad Stepanak
- Harland Williams — Seaman 2nd Class E.T. "Sonar" Lovacelli
- Rip Torn — Vice Adm. Dean Winslow