E. W. Howe

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Edgar Watson Howe (May 3, 1853October 3, 1937), sometimes referred to as E. W. Howe, was an American novelist and newspaper and magazine editor in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. He was perhaps best known for his magazine, E.W. Howe's Monthly. Howe was well traveled and known for his sharp wit in his editorials.


  • A man needs a friend not to flatter him, but to strengthen him at his weak points.
    • Country Town Sayings [An anthology of witty sentences by the author] (1911), p81.
  • A small man always has one weapon he can use against a great big man: he can "talk" about him.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p298.
  • A woman does not spend all her time in buying things; she spends part of it in taking them back.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p16.
  • Abusing the prosperous in order to curry the favor of the envious, is an old game that still works better than it should.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p199.
  • Always remember that if a man knows where he can make a dollar, he will not tell you about it; he will go after it himself.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p137.
  • Another thing which is about as sure as death and taxes, is that no man can go on bluffing indefinitely without being called.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p261.
  • As a rule, you'll not have much trouble having your way, if you are right.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p49.
  • Automobiles are like people: the cheap ones are noisy.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p201.
  • Every time you become confidential with some people, you hear of a new kind of dirty trick.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p211.
  • Having fun is a dismal business after you pass fifty.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p20.
  • Men are virtuous because the women are; women are virtuous from necessity.
  • No man has all the wisdom in the world; everyone has some.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p62.
  • No man knows where his business ends and his neighbor's begins.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p55.
  • One of the most difficult things in the world is to learn to take a hint easily.
    • County Town Sayings (1911), p111.
  • People hate the man who is a constant drain on their sympathy.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p25.
  • So many of the optimists in the world don't own a hundred dollars, and because of their optimism, never will.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p28.
  • The man who can keep a secret may be wise, but he is not half as wise as the man with no secrets to keep.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p9.
  • The trouble in the world is nearly all due to the fact that one-half of the people are men, and the other half women.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p193.
  • There is usually enough of everything on the table except cream.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p31.
  • To want your own way is a very bad habit, for you will never get it.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p32.
  • When a man is trying to sell you something, don't imagine he is that polite all the time.
    • Country Town Sayings (1911), p34.
  • When you can't do anything else to a boy, you can make him wash his face.
    • Travel Letters from New Zealand, Australia and Africa (1913), p120.
  • Silliness which would have broken a politician twenty years ago, now makes his fortune.
    • Ventures in Common Sense (1919), p61.
  • We are now confronted with the necessity of remedying the remedies.
    • Ventures in Common Sense (1919), p61.
  • A man who does not fool himself seldom cares much about fooling others. But the man who claims to have seen a ghost wants everybody else to believe in ghosts.
    • Ventures in Common Sense (1919), p87.
  • Of living creatures, business men are nearest sane; their philosophy is as accurate as their multiplication table.
    • Ventures in Common Sense (1919), p108.
  • When half the people believe one thing, and the other half another, it is usually safe to accept either opinion. The Democrats are as good as the Republicans, and the Catholics as good as the Protestants.
    • Ventures in Common Sense (1919), p72.
  • I know what women expect, and give it to them without disagreeable argument; they'll get it anyway.
    • Ventures in Common Sense (1919), p35.
  • A loafer never works except when there's a fire; then he will carry out more furniture than anybody.
    • Ventures in Common Sense (1919), p171.

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