Ed, Edd n Eddy (season 4)

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The following is a list of quotes from the fourth season of Ed, Edd, n Eddy.

An Ed In the Bush[edit]

Eddy: Boy, if that ain't a fluke, I don't know what is. (an over-ripened tomato lands on Edd's face) Looking for trouble, 'Urban Nerdos'?!

Ed: End of first sequence and fade to black!

See No Ed[edit]

Rolf: (sees a rubber glove with cotton glued on it) Why has someone glued fluff to this rubber glove? Is the world coming to an end?

Is There an Ed in the House?[edit]

(Rolf is about to have his picture 'taken' by the Eds in their photography scam, but his hair keeps sticking up)
Edd: Let's pick a theme, shall we? Would you like to pose with a beach ball or this sumptuous lollipop?
Rolf: No sump, as Rolf prefers his churn that softs breads. (brings out a churn)
Eddy: There he picked! Now get out of the way, so I can take the picture.
Rolf: May Rolf order one eight by ten glossy with many wallet size photos for his relation? (his hair sticks up again)
Eddy: Whatever you want, Rolfie boy. I'll just put it on the bill.
Edd: OK Rolf, look at me. Smile for the tawdry sock puppet. That's it, you can do it! Yes, you can! That a boy!
(Rolf smiles, but his hair sticks up when Eddy takes the picture)
Eddy: Hahaha! (goes to Ed in the 'processing unit') Is it finished yet?
(Rolf and Edd are both waiting, when the bell rings)
Edd: Well, I'll just check on those prints, shall I? (goes to Ed as well)
Ed: I am done, guys! (he shows Edd and Eddy his drawing, which includes a strange creature behind Rolf)
Edd: Um, Ed. What is that behind Rolf?
Ed: Rolf's head is about to be crunched by a four-legged mutant bus driver.
Eddy: You're supposed to draw a picture of Rolf. No monsters, just Rolf, stupid.
Ed: Oh yeah. Rub it out, rub it out, rub it out-
(As he erases, Jimmy pushes Ed's drawing pad out of the way)
Jimmy: Where do you keep your hot water bottle?
Eddy: Hey Jimmy, take a hike! (throws Jimmy out of the way) Ed's busy.
Ed: Under the sink, Jimmy!
Rolf: (still sitting down) Hello? How long must Rolf wait for this portrait of self love?
Edd: Any time now. (to Eddy) Rolf's becoming impatient, Eddy.
Jimmy: (returns to Ed) How about the vaporizer, stretch?
Ed: Top shelf, shorty.
Eddy: Hey! Go bug Sarah, you little pest!
Jimmy: For your information, crabby pants, Sarah is sick and I must take care of her. (leaves)
Eddy: (sarcastically) We should all be so lucky.
Ed: (suddenly worried) Sarah's sick? Wait! (runs into the cardboard wall then on to his house) Big brother's coming, baby sister!
Eddy: Ed, get back here!
Edd: Oh dear, I hope it's nothing serious. I best get my medical bag; one can never be too sure. (leaves)
(Rolf is becoming really impatient when Eddy looks at his 'photo')
Eddy: (smiles nervously) Uhhh...gee, Rolf, you got a face only a mother could love. (runs off)
Rolf: (enraged off-screen) ED BOYS!

(Both Jimmy and Ed are in Sarah's bedroom trying to help her feel better)
Jimmy: There there, little frail one; Jimmy will take care of you.
Ed: Ed is here to make you all better, Sarah.
Sarah: (sniff) I feel hot.
Jimmy: Ah, let me sooth you.
Sarah: Thank you, Jimmy.
Ed: (blows through his mouth onto Sarah) Big brothers take care of baby sisters. (carries on blowing onto her)
Sarah: My pillow needs fluffing.
Jimmy: There you go, Sarah.
Ed: No let, me, sickly sister!
Sarah: (relaxed) Ahhhh...
Jimmy: Am I a good fluffer, Sarah?
Sarah: Yes you are, Jimmy.
(Jimmy sticks his tongue out at Ed, who frowns)
Eddy: (stood in the doorway of Sarah's room) What a load of...
Edd: (pushes past Eddy) Pardon me, Eddy. Please step aside, everyone. (checks Sarah's pulse) Well, your pulse is normal.
Eddy: I bet it is.
Jimmy: Sarah's got a fever, Mr. Smarty Pants.
Ed: Yeah, Mr. I wish I was as Smart Pants.
Edd: (touches Sarah's forehead) Your temperature seems normal as well.
Sarah: (smacks Edd's hand away) Ah, what do you know?
Edd: A minor cold at best, I say.
Eddy: Ha!
Edd: Gentlemen, I suggest we leave, as a cold at any rate can be quite contagious.
Sarah (shouting) Yeah! GET LOST!
Ed: (picks up Edd and Eddy) I will show them the door, dear debilitated one.
Eddy: Come on, Ed! What are you going to do? Wipe her nose all day?
Sarah: (off-screen) I need a tissue, Jimmy.
Ed: (drops both Edd and Eddy) Oh, I'll fix it for you, Sarah.
Jimmy: Nice and soft for that cute little nose.
(Ed stupidly uses a vacuum cleaner to clean Sarah's nose)
Eddy: What a sap! We're wasting the whole day!
Edd: Ed's just fulfilling his duty as a caring brother, Eddy.
Eddy: You're so understanding.
Edd: Perhaps we could set up a paging system, that way Ed could be free to do your bidding and still be in contact with Sarah.
(Ed continues to use the vacuum cleaner)
Eddy: I like that!

(Edd is setting up a paging system above Sarah's bed whilst she's asleep, but the bell accidentally rings, waking her up)
Sarah: (shouting) Double D! (grabs Edd round the waist and picks him up) What the heck are you doing?!
Edd: Ahh, trying to help you.
Sarah: Oh, OK Double D. (puts him down as she giggles)
Edd: Being confined to one's room can be quite frustrating, so I found a way to ease Ed's, I mean your burden. Uh...just pull this handle and someone will assist you.
Sarah: It's too high. (adjusts string on pager) No it's too low. Too high! Little low. (Ed and Jimmy are watching but Jimmy keeps going in front of Ed, so Ed copies him) Nope, too high! Way too low. High! Low. High. High.
Edd: Enough already! You may not be feeling well; I can sympathize with that, but I'm trying to-
Sarah: (Sarah gives a raspberry at Edd) Serves you right.
Edd: (angry) Why, you-!
Ed: (grabbing Edd) No, Double D!
Edd: (Ed picks him up and lifts him out of Sarah's room) If I catch a cold, I'll...I'll...Just give me five minutes with that germ spreading brat!
(Sarah rings her bell)
Ed: (drops Edd) Coming, Sarah dear.
Jimmy: Can I get you anything, Sarah?
Ed: Yeah, can I get you anything, Sarah?
Sarah: Would you guys be so kind as to (suddenly shouts) LET ME FINISH SLEEPING?!?!
(Ed salutes, and pushes Edd and Eddy out of his house, and carries Jimmy out, into the Cul-de-Sac)
Ed: Sarah needs to rest because she is sick!
Eddy: Ed, how can you be so stupid?
Ed: (stops pushing them) I watch cartoons, Eddy.
Eddy: Yeah, well grow up; forget stupid Sarah. Follow me to your future, lumpy! (the Eds and Jimmy go to Eddy's garage where he's about to unveil his next scam) We blew up on the photo scam, so on to plan B: 'The Triple E Free Driving School'! Only it's not free, and we'll charge them. Double D, you're the instructor.
Edd: Me? but I...
Eddy: Ed, you're the motor.
Ed: I have achieved greatness!
(Sarah's bell rings)
Jimmy: It's Sarah!
Ed: I'll be back guys!
Edd: My paging system seems effective, don't you think Eddy?
Eddy: (passes Edd a pile of traffic cones, then starts to mock him) 'My paging system seems effective, don't you think Eddy?' How are we suppose to get any work done with Ed answering your stupid paging system?
Ed: (returns with Jimmy) Okey dokey! I'm ready, Eddy.
Eddy: What took ya? I got students waiting! (shows Nazz and Jonny, who are waiting for their driving lessons)
Jonny: Where's the obstacle course, Eddy? Plank's itching to tear up some pavement!
Eddy: Comin' right up, Jonny boy. Here we go! (Eddy grabs Jimmy and ties him up)
Jimmy: Ahh! No, stop, that tickles, stop!
Eddy: We aim to please. Let Plank wrap his bumper around this obstacle.
Edd: (to himself) Let's try to sound convincing now, shall we Double D? Let's see now. (turns round and sees Nazz is next to him) Good day, pupil. Welcome to the Triple E Driving Course. My name is Eddward, and I'll be your instructor for the day. (then became shocked)
Nazz: Hi, Eddward. Ready when you are.
Edd: (nervous) Well well, um...Shall we begin with...um...Well, first we must, uh, buckle our safety belts, uh...shall we?"
Nazz: Not cool, they're stuck, Eddward. (turns to Edd) Can you give me a hand?
Edd: Ohh, I suppose so. (attempts to fasten the seatbelt, basically two ends of a power cable, but is trembling so much that he's unable to manage it. Nazz manages to do it)
Nazz: Like that?
Edd: Very good! Umm...once safe to do so, please proceed on to the course.
Nazz: Awesome!
Ed: (begins to push the car and makes car noises) Vroom! Vroom!
Edd: Not too fast, now. Easy on the corners. That's it! Nicely done.
(Sarah's bell rings again and Jimmy manages to get untangled)
Jimmy: I'm comin', girlfriend!
Ed: (looks at where Jimmy was) What a weasel! (runs after Jimmy) She's my sick sister!
Edd: Um, Ed?
Eddy: (shouting) Hey! You're the motor, get back here!
(Edd and Nazz continue traveling)
Edd: (confused) Why aren't we stopping?
Nazz: Oops.
(The car starts spinning round)
Edd: Go left! Go left! Brake! Brake!
Nazz: What brake?
Edd: (to Eddy) You forgot to put in a brake?!
(The car continues to roll off-screen)

(Meanwhile back at Ed's house, Jimmy runs through the door of Sarah's room with a plate of sandwiches. Ed also runs towards the door with a bowl but Jimmy shuts the door on him. The bowl smashes against the wall)
Ed: Uh oh! (runs back downstairs)
Jimmy: (opens door and laughs then closes it and walks over to Sarah) A three cheese grilled sandwich and, see, no crust!
Ed: (knocks down door and comes in with a large fridge) Take your pick, unwell baby sister of mine. (drops fridge on the floor, breaking the floor)
Jimmy: (stuffs a cheese sandwich into Sarah's mouth) Don't listen to him, Sarah. Cheese is good for a cold; you know it's your favorite.
Ed: (stuffing fruits and vegetables into Sarah's mouth) She's my sister, and my sister likes fruit and vegetables! Isn't that right, baby sister?!?!
(Ed and Jimmy help Sarah chew by moving her cheeks)
Jimmy: Here, Sarah, let me help you chew.
Ed: "I" will help her chew.
(Sarah mumbles with her mouth full of food)
Jimmy: What's that? A book you say? I'll get you one.
Ed: (reading a comic book) "In the void of space, Zorba the two-headed mutant-"
Jimmy: (reading a story book) "Silly little Jilly frolicked in the daisies."
Ed: "Spewing slime from its tentacles!"
Jimmy: "'I'm so silly', said Jilly."
Ed: "As Zorba sucked its brain!"
Jimmy: "I wish I were a potato so the prince would like me."
Ed: "He gagged on his bones!"
(Sarah rings her bell and Ed and Jimmy stop reading)
Sarah: See the ball?
Jimmy: Yes, I do, Sarah.
Ed: Yep, it's a ball.
Sarah: Go get it! (throws a ball out of the window)
Jimmy: (jumps out the window) Certainly, Sarah.
Ed: (also jumps out the window) I'll get it, Sarah.

(In the Cul-de-Sac, Edd and Eddy are pulling the car from the driving school out of some bushes which Edd ended up in)
Eddy: Of all the- that's two scams down the tube.
Edd: You know what they say Eddy, three's the charm.
(Sarah's ball bounces in front of them)
Jimmy: (running after the ball) Mine, mine, mine!
(Ed jumps into the broken car and runs off)
Eddy: That's it! (runs towards Ed and gets him on the floor) Ed, what's with ya?!
Ed: (tries pushing himself away with Eddy sat on top of him) Sarah's sick, get ball, then Jimmy, I gotta-
Eddy: You gotta nothing!
Ed: (stops pushing) I gotta nothing?
Eddy: (pokes Ed twice) You're the big brother, that means you're the boss. Get over there and show her what you're made of! Get mean!
Ed: (stands up) You're right, Eddy. I am the big brother, Sarah! (runs, then stops) Oh, I know! (hikes his pants up all the way to his chest)
Eddy: Whoa, you're a tough guy, Ed.
Edd: You've sent him into the lion's den; you know that, don't you?
Eddy: Yep.

(At Ed's house, Jimmy has returned with the ball, and Sarah plays the ball with him when Ed enters with his pants pulled up high)
Sarah: Too late! Jimmy already got my ball.
(Ed throws the ball outside the window)
Eddy: You work hard all your life, and what's it get cha?
(The ball hits Edd)
Sarah: (shouting) Ed! Go get my ball!
Ed: No ball! Get in bed! Rest now!
Sarah: (nervously) Please get my ball?
Jimmy: Don't you fret, Sarah; I'll get it.
Ed: Here, let me help you! (Ed throws Jimmy out the window)
Eddy: Pass the tape will ya, Double D?
(Jimmy lands on Edd)
Jimmy: Ahhh! My head!
(Back inside)
Sarah: (in tears) You threw my friend out, Ed! How could you do that?! He was just trying to help! (cries)
Ed: Aww...I am sorry, baby sister. A big hug will make you feel all better. There, there. (Sarah smiles devilishly)
(Sarah beats up Ed. It's not shown but you can tell from the outside of the house which is jumping up and down)
Ed: (from inside the house) Get it off! Get it off!
Edd: It seems Sarah's made the road to recovery. (sneezes on Eddy)
Eddy: Say it, don't spray it.
(Edd sneezes again)
Eddy: "What's with you?"
Edd: (becoming sick) Ooh, I knew it. Curse you, common cold microorganisms! It's all part of the big plan, don't you see?! They wait and strike when you're the most vulnerable. (sneezes again)
Jimmy: Jeepers! You sound sick, Double D. You shouldn't be outside. You need some TLC. (leads Edd away)
Edd: Don't just stand there, do something! Eddy!
(Eddy looks at the damaged car and Ed's house)
Ed: (from inside) Pain! It hurts!
Eddy: (to himself) Eh, I wonder what's on TV? (leaves)
Ed: (from inside) Have mercy depraved sibling!
(Iris out)

An Ed Is Born[edit]

Edd: If I were you, I'd write a book. A biography of sorts.
Eddy: You don't get out much, do you?
Ed: If I were me, I'd make a home movie.
Eddy: That's it! Double D, you can be cameraman.
Edd: But Eddy, we need a-
Eddy: I'll be exec. producer, exec. director and, of course, the star.
Edd: We need a-
Eddy: Ed can be....Ed.
Edd: As I was saying, we need a-
Ed: (throwing a camcorder into Edd's hands) Camera, stat.
Edd: Edd, why do you keep a camera in your dryer?
Ed: What?
Eddy: Let's make a movie!
Ed: Can I lick the bowl?

(Edd is videotaping Eddy in the junkyard who has his back facing the camera)
Edd: No backs to the camera, please; it's rude, you know.
Eddy: Shut up and roll! Remember this place, bro? The junkyard, your old hangout? All the kids are chicken to come here.

Eddy: Running out of ideas, Double D. Think of something that will make me look good.
Edd: Ed, you be careful with that- Oh, what do I care? It's his camera.
Ed: MAN THE HELMS! DIVE! DIVE! (Ed swallows the camera)
Edd: Ed, what have you done? Open it! Open it! (Ed opens his mouth and Edd reaches into his stomach) You should know better than to eat the camera. Just think of what it could do to your digestive tract!

One Size Fits Ed[edit]

Eddy: Give me the cash!
Edd: (grabs Eddy's face) Eddy! Taking note is a essential part of learning.
Eddy: Are you touching my face?
Edd: (realizing) Oh, uh, yes. Sorry.

Eddy: It didn't work?
Edd: Of course it didn't, Eddy! Given Jimmy's immense proportions, the mailbox was bound to burst. And postage alone would have cost up to $200.
Eddy: My sumo scam didn't have a chance?
Edd: I'm afraid not, Eddy.

Eddy: I just learned something today, Double D.
Edd: (intrigued) You have?! Tell me, Eddy!
Eddy: We should open up a weight loss clinic! I'll be rich!

Pain in the Ed[edit]

Rolf: (looking up at the makeshift Statue of Liberty) Why is the Lady of Liberty looming over the cul-de-sac?

Eddy: Eh, good riddance. Violins are for sissies. Why if I played an instrument, I get something manly, like a kazoo or something.

Ed: Practice I must, or Sarah, my head will bust!

Ed Overboard[edit]

Lee: You've got a great personality. Besides, who needs good looks when you've got us?

(When Edd removes a plaster from Ed's back)
Edd: Is that a cookie?
Ed: Yep. (eats it) Saved it.
Edd: THAT IS THE MOST DISGUSTING, IRRATIONAL...it's nice to have you back, Ed.

One of Those Eds[edit]

(Everyone is fighting over the quarter, but Edd gets everyone's attention by sounding an airhorn)
Kevin: Dude.
Sarah: What are you trying to do, blow our heads off?!?
Edd: Crude, yet effective.

Ed: If you smelt it, you dealt it, Eddy.

Ed: What can you do, if you live in a shoe, and you ain't got no sole?

They Call Him Mr. Ed[edit]

Eddy: I almost up-chucked.

Eddy: (answers the phone) Talk to me! (whistles a bit) Trade it! Buy it! Sell it! (hangs up)
Ed: (jumping) Up! Up! Up!
Eddy: Put some muscle into it, Ed!
Ed: You got it, chief! And up! (leaps straight up into the sky) WHOOOOOAA!!
Eddy: Keep that up, Ed!
Ed: Eddy, I'm coming! (dives down and crashes through the desk) I'm okay.

For the Ed, By the Ed[edit]

(Plank is hailed as the neighborhood's new king)
Eddy: If anyone's "king" around here, it's me!

Rolf: A wooden board saved you from three evil witches and a creepy crawly? MAMA!! THE FAIRY-TALE THAT HAUNTS ROLF HAS COME TRUE!!!

Little Ed Blue[edit]

Eddy: (mockingly) "I want free popcorn! I want free popcorn!" What do I look like, some popcorn fairy?
Ed: (Lifts the kids and everyone out of the garage including his best friends, Edd " Double D" and Eddy) AWAY WITH YOU! UNWANTED PESTERERS!
Sarah: ED! You listen to me mister, You can't kick me out, I LIVE HERE TOO!!
Ed: (who is angry and grumpy tells his sister Sarah to move) SO MOVE!!
Sarah: (afraid of her own big brother Ed who's angry and grumpy, backs off) Eh, Eh, Ok. We better go. (Everyone is leaving cause of Ed's angry and grumpy mood)
Kevin: You read my mind.
Nazz : What a grouch.
Jonny: Catch you on the rebound, slick!
Edd: Is it me, or is Jonny’s vocabulary deteriorating?
Eddy: [Angered] I was holding’em big time with that food fight! Till Mister Happy shows up and ruins everything! [Ed grumpily heaves the garage shut and storms down the street.] [mockingly] Hey Grumpula! Wake up on the wrong side of those stale socks of yours? [Ed, however ignores him and Eddy is furious about being ignored] HEY SOURPUSS! [Ed storms on]

(Ed sits alone on a stump in the park, his friends arrive)
Edd: Ed? Is there anything we can do to make you feel better?
Eddy: Hey Double D, is that a lump on a log? (chuckles)
(Ed picks up the stump and turns away)
Edd: Ed certainly is long in the face, Eddy.
Eddy: That's because he doesn't have a chin, Einstein!
Ed: (yelling at Eddy angrily) SHUT UP!!!
Eddy: (yelling at Ed lividly) YOU SHUT UP!!!
Edd: Eddy, please! Ed's having a bad day!
Eddy: Ed's a wuss. (shouting at Ed) Hey, rumpled forehead! I'll give you 3, to GET OVER YOURSELF! 1! Smile, you miserable...! 2! Snap out of it, ya...
Ed: (yelling at Eddy)YOU TORMENT ME! (He tossed Eddy really hard and slice the tree into two halves, one is left standing and the other half of the tree falls on Eddy, making him squashed and hurt)
Eddy: I'm hurt now.
(Edd brings out a stool and sits by Ed, he is going to try compassion)
Edd: Ed? (He touches Ed's shoulder and looks disgusted, he begins to clean the jacket) Do you know what I like when I'm feeling crabby? (he finishes cleaning, he hugs Ed) A big hug to squeeze those cares away!
Ed: (shoving Edd away violently) Touch me again and I will squash you!
Eddy: Way to go, Mr. Sensitive. A hug. Oh, that's rich.
Edd: Ed? If you care to share your feelings, I want you to know I'll be right here for you, my friend.
(Edd notices that Ed is scraping the bark off the stump using just his fingers, Ed turns and looks at Edd, doom in his eyes in a deadly glare)
Edd: Well, let's leave Ed to gather his thoughts, Eddy. A little self-introspection may do him a world of good. Coming, Eddy?
Eddy: What're ya gonna do now, knit him a sweater?

(Edd and Eddy enter the park, They stop, Kevin is bouncing a baseball of Ed's head)
Edd: Kevin! What in heaven's–
Eddy: Pass it here, Kev!
(Eddy goes to join the game, Eddy and Kevin amuse themselves by catching the balls they bounce of Ed's head)
Eddy: Double D, you've gotta try this!
(Ed grabs Eddy and shapes him into a bat)
Kevin: Potent. (laughs)
(Ed takes a swing at Kevin and sends the jock flying. Eddy is tossed away, used for his intended purpose)
Eddy: Is he happy yet?
Edd: Not even a smirk, Eddy.
Eddy: This stinks. (He reads from a comic book called "Marlene of the Deep") "It's tentacles tightened, sucking the marrow–“
(Ed slams the book shut on Eddy, the book falls loose, revealing Eddy's head as a page from a comic book, Eddy is saying, "Ow." He goes over to Edd and tags him)

(Ed has a turkey on his lap. On top of it is a lit candle. He and Edd are wearing party hats)
Edd: Go on, Ed! Blow out the candle, and make a big happy wish!
(Ed stuffs the turkey into Edd, Edd goes over to Eddy and tags him in, Not liking this, Eddy tags Edd back, It turns into a slapping match)

(Edd and Eddy are putting on a puppet show using Baron O'Beefdip and a robot alien)
Baron O'Beefdip: La la la! Mr. Robot, our moody friend sure could use a good chuckle. Why don't you sing him a song, and lift his spirits?
Eddy: I hate puppet shows! (He tosses the robot away)
Edd: Ooh, you're not even trying! You pick that up, Mister!
(Ed pulls a cord on Baron O'Beefdip's back A flame shoots out of the toy's mouth, barbecuing the puppet show alongside with Edd and Eddy's tops)
Eddy: (amazed) Nice toy.
(Edd drops Baron O'Beefdip and whispers in Eddy's ear, Eddy leaps out of the box)
Eddy: NO WAY! Forget it! I ain't doin’ it!"
Edd: But Eddy! Look at him!" (He indicates the grumpy Ed) If Ed doesn't cheer up soon, he could become a perpetual mope! Do you realize how miserable our lives would be?
(Eddy stands there grumpily)

(Eddy is still grumpy and livid, but he is now dressed as a rooster)
Eddy: (dancing) Bock bock bock. Look at me, I'm a chicken. Cluck cluck cluck. You love chickens. Chickens make you happy. Buck buck buck. How 'bout I lay an egg?
(While Eddy is dancing as a Chicken, Ed is growling and he's had enough of Eddy for infuriating him. He comes over to Eddy and pulls his cowl down over him, Ed then shoves Eddy away)
Edd: You forgot to wiggle your tail-feathers, Eddy.
Eddy: (snaps) THAT'S IT! (He runs over to Ed) I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR BAD MOOD! CRACK A SMILE! BUST A GUT! BE HAPPY! (He slaps Ed on the back of his head) GET OVER IT!
Ed: (roars in a furious rage, his eyes turn red and he rips his eyebrow in half and angrily screams loudly at the world) BIG TROUBLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! (Edd faints and Eddy stands there, stunned, as the gale unleashed by Ed's scream rips his shirt off. Ed grabs his stump and proceeds to smash the playground with it. Eddy frantically fans Edd. Ed bites into various pieces of playground equipment and tosses them in the air. Jonny, caught on the seesaw, actually enjoys this)
Jonny: Yee-haw!
Eddy: (desperately shaking Edd) Double D, wake up! Aah! (He cowers. Broken pieces of playground land around him and Edd. Eddy then takes cover as the seesaw lands over Edd without crushing him)
Jonny: Right on!
(He lands on one end of the seesaw, Plank on the other. Plank shoots up into the air)
(Then Plank hits Ed in the back of his head, and Ed turned to face Plank with a raging look)
Jonny: (shocked) Plank?!
(Ed raises Plank over his head, ready to break the board against his knee)
Jonny: Gimme Plank back, you meanie! (Ed holds off Jonny with an outstretched leg)
Jonny: I'm trying, buddy, but I can't reach you!
Jonny: You want me to what? That's weird, buddy. But I'll do it.
Eddy: Oh, this oughta be good.
Jonny: (grabs Ed's right shoe) Geronimo!
(Jonny tug Ed's shoe until it comes off. A tiny pebble tumbles out. Ed, suddenly no longer angry, wiggles his sock-clad toe. A wide smile spreads across his face, and he tosses Plank away)
Ed: (overjoyed) Ed is happy once more!
Jonny: Buddy! (He catches and hugs Plank, noting how the Eds liven things up) Never a dull moment with these clowns, huh Plank?
(Edd walks over to the shoe and pebble and picks up the rock)
Edd: [Shocked beyond belief) A pebble? Ed's bad mood was all because he had a pebble in his shoe?! (as he and Eddy try to grasp this, Ed chases Jonny on all fours in the background)
Jonny: (off-screen) He's mad, I tell ya, mad!
Ed: (hugging Edd and Eddy) My friends! My pals! My name here!
(Eddy falls to the ground in a fit of crazy laughter)
Ed: (oblivious) Somebody had a good day, huh, Double D? (he and Eddy laugh together)

A Twist of Ed[edit]

Edd: Good golly almighty! What is that horrible odor?! Ed?
Ed: Not I, Double D. (gestures Eddy) Talk to Mister Stink Pot.
Eddy: Hey! I had a Kanker hairball stuck in my shower!

May: What just happened there?!
Lee: Mom was right. Throw a man a bone and he'll mess up the carcass.

The Good Ole Ed[edit]

(Ed has found a spatula)
Ed: Oh look, A flipper!
Eddy: It's a spatula, stupid.

(Eddy and Ed are about to pour the giant vat of pancake mix)
Ed: I love pancakes!
Eddy: Shut up and pour, lumpy.

Your Ed Here[edit]

Edd: If it makes you feel better I'll tell you my middle name.
Eddy: Ok.
Edd: Well, Eddy. My middle name, is Marion. (Eddy stares blankly at him for a while)
Eddy: (laughter) Marion! That's a girl's name!

Thick as an Ed[edit]

Edd: Ed, I insist you remove that jacket immediately!
Ed: Ok. If you give me your hat.
Edd: My hat? Why, that's the silliest thing I've ever heard! Absolutely not!
Eddy: Give him the stupid hat so we can get some frogs.
Edd: The point is my hat doesn't smell!
Ed: Oh, yes it does.
Edd: No, it does not! You're just saying that because I said your jacket stank!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: You've got a repulsive, fermented detachment of cheese in your pocket, Ed!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: Odiferous curdcoat!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: Rancid roquefort wrap!
Ed: Oh, yeah?! STINKY HAT!

Edd: Ed! Get rid of that carcass immediately!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: Shirt of fledged flounder!
Ed: Stinky hat!
Edd: Tainted trout top!
Ed: Stinky hat!

Sorry, Wrong Ed[edit]

Eddy: I say we test it!
Edd: Test it?
Ed: Like, mustard?

Edd: Oh, look Ed! A Skunk! Did you know in some parts it's also known as a Polecat?
(Eddy appears after being sprayed by the skunk)
Ed: PU! Who stepped on a duck?!

Robbin' Ed[edit]

Eddy: A techno-gizmo like this could cost you up to a million bucks, but for this special offer, you can have it for the low, low price of 25 cents!

A Case of Ed[edit]

Ed: It sound like Sockhead, bonehead.

Ed: (eating one of Edd's shoes) Mm… How long have you been a size 2?
Edd: 'Size 2'? But I've always worn a size 5 shoe, doctor.
Eddy: Sounds like another symptom to me.

Hand-Me-Down Ed[edit]

Jimmy: I am Jimmy! Hear me roar!

Ed: Baby sister is all cuddly and sweet like Dad's bushy ear!

Run for Your Ed[edit]

May: What number do you dial for 911?
(Lee throws May against the wall and smashes the telephone)

Ed: I despense with you, disgusting detergent of the deep. (throws away the dish soap) For I, Ed, can remove the bottle with sticky tape.
Edd: Sticky tape?
Eddy: Stick? You're already stuck, numbskull.
Ed: And your point is...

Stiff Upper Ed[edit]

(Eddy attempts to show his boat to Sarah and Jimmy, but Ed accidentally breaks part of the boat, causing it to "sink")
Eddy: What?!? We're sinking?!
Ed: It wasn't me!

Here's Mud in Your Ed[edit]

(Sarah, Jimmy, and Jonny are playing in the sandbox. Sarah and Jimmy are on one side, making castles)
Sarah: Ready? Whee! (She lifts the bucket, revealing a perfectly formed castle)
Jimmy: I'm as happy as the day is long, Sarah!
Jonny: (looking through binoculars) Okay, you tell me, because I am stumped! (letting Plank look)
(Jimmy puts icing all over the castle. Sarah then adds four candles. Jonny and Plank look at each other, confused. Sarah then adds a cherry to the top)
Jonny: Well if they can make a cake out of dirt, we can make a doughnut! (grabs a shovel only to find Sarah holding on to the end of it) Me and Plank are making a doughnut!
Sarah: So what? We were using that.
Jonny: Don't you like doughnuts? (Sarah throws him into the cake) Are you a doughnut hater?
Sarah: (swinging Jonny around) Gimme it, Jonny! (Plank is hit into a mud puddle) You and Plank can get your own shovel!
(Plank swells up to enormous proportions)
Jonny: You got Plank wet! (draws the shovel back, and then lets Sarah have it. The shovel hits Sarah in the face)
Jimmy: Let's share! Please? We were having so much fun!
Sarah: (getting up) JONNY! (she proceeds to pound Jonny)
Jimmy: Stop it! Stop it, you two! My heart is sinking into a sea of sadness!
Eddy: (by the fence, with Ed) It's the match of the century, huh Lumpy? Mammoth Mouth versus Gargantuan Head!
Ed: Not for me, Eddy. Without the bun, a sausage has no home. (Edd approaches)
Jimmy: I'm so unhappy! (He runs away crying)
(Eddy laughs)
Edd: Oh, dear! Jimmy's upset. Perhaps I can help. (he moves to go to Jimmy)
Eddy: (hauling Edd back) Oh, no you don't! If there's any helpin'-doin' around here, we do it for cash. 'Cause that's how we work.
Ed: (dancing) Work that body, work that body, don't you go hurt nobody.

Rolf: Today Rolf is forced to celebrate his country's traditional thank You to the Noble Guardian Pigeon!

(At night, Rolf is in bed, wide awake. On the other side of his, room, Jimmy is humming as he puts up flowered wallpaper)
Rolf: Boy Jimmy, when might you be going home?
Eddy: (from outside) Holy cow! Look at this? (Under a streetlight sits a bush covered in meat) It's a bush that grows meat!
Ed: Let's get some gravy! (pulls out a puppet of Edd, and impersonating him) Yep! Even me as Double D finds this really kinda logical!
Eddy: You said it, Double D! (holding up a jar of dirt) I just used this magic, meat-growing dirt! I'll take everything you got for a trade, huh?
Rolf: Ha ha ho! This fool thinks Rolf and boy Jimmy will fall for his shenanigans!
Jimmy: Goofy grape!
Rolf: Manure boy! (pulls his shutters closed, Edd arrives)
Edd: Well, well, well. Seems one can't tend to their natural functions without being REPLACED by some RAG-TAG HAND PUPPET!
Eddy: Hold this. (throws the jar of dirt in Edd's face)
Ed: (as Puppet Edd) Oh dear. I fell!
Eddy: (hammering on Rolf's door) GIVE ME BACK MY STUFF! YOU JERKS RIPPED ME OFF! (throws his body against the door)
Rolf: (opens his shutters again) Ed boy! Please stop! I beg of you, don't wake Nana! Silence, yes? Thank you.
Eddy: SILENCE!? I'LL GIVE YA SILENCE!!! (picks Ed up and uses him to batter the door)
Ed: (three times he hits the door) Who's there? Who's there? Who is there?
(Eddy prepares to hit the door one more time)
Rolf: Ed-boy! Have mercy! Forgive Rolf, and Rolf will make good by giving you...the real money tree seed?
Eddy: (questioning) Real money tree seed?
Edd: (sure Eddy isn't that gullible) Oh, puh-leeze! Do you really think Eddy would fall for that old...
Eddy: Deal!
(Rolf holds Jimmy out the window. In Jimmy's hand is clutched a bolt)
Eddy: I'm rich! (He runs over and kicks the meat bush out of the way. Eddy plunges the seed into the ground and waters it. He then puts up a small fence and a sign saying "Eddy's Plant") And it's mine! ALL mine! (giggles greedily)
Ed: Even I am not that dumb, Double D.
Edd: An iris-in would be appropriate, don't you think?
(The camera irises-in on Eddy's plant as Eddy continues to chortle gleefully)
Edd: Thank you.

Stuck in Ed[edit]

(Eddy finds out they're too late to get free Jawbreakers, and attacks Ed)
Eddy: This is your fault! Admit it! (quieter) If you do, I promise not to leave bruises.
Kevin: Hey, you lovebirds, vamoose. Babysitting's over, 'cause I just scored big time. Later! (walks off, pocket full of change)
Ed: (waving goodbye) You forgot to say 'dorks,' Kevin!
Eddy: (Still staring at Kevin in disbelief) Did you see Kevin's pockets? They're bursting with cash, I tell ya!
Edd: Let's hope for Kevin's sake those stitches don't tear. Wouldn't it be a shame if he were to lose that plentiful peck of pennies?
Eddy: (not getting it) Yep. (a slightly deflated ball can be heard bouncing)
Edd: Yup? Is that all you have to say for yourself? Yup? No rash, nonsensical quip to defraud Kevin of his fortune?
Eddy: (somewhat confused) Scam Kevin. (to Ed) That's what he said, right? (now to Edd) I'm way ahead of you, Sockhead. (the Eds huddle) Here's the plan, boys.
(Eddy says nothing)

Edd: Care to submit an idea for a scam, Jonny?
Jonny: Wow! A scam? I don't know...How about this! Jonny and Plank's Penny Dance! A one, and a two–(Begins to dance and sing) Pennies, pennies, I seek a penny, give me your pennies, I like the pennies...
Edd: Um, Eddy, a tad eccentric, don't you think?
Jonny: ...pennies, pennies, I seek a penny, who's got a penny–(Eddy kicks him into the sky)-WHOO-EE!!! THAT SMARTS!!!"

Postcards from the Ed[edit]

Eddy: Hey monobrow, give me a push will you?
Ed: Can do, Eddy! But I cannot join you in your merriment for I am responsible (pushes bus) for Plank's mommy and daddy. (realizes that Plank's parents are on Eddy's bus) Hey, hold it one darn second there!

Jonny: (upon seeing Plank's parents who had been decapitated; shocked) Holy jumpin' banana boats! (covers Plank's eyes) Don't look, Plank!
Eddy: (to Jonny) Relax, baldy. Nothing a little glue and a couple of nails won't fix.
Jonny: (holds up Plank's parents' severed heads) Ed! Is this your idea of showing them a good time?!
Ed: (with tears in his eyes; sobs) It wasn't me, Jonny, honest! (points at Eddy) Eddy did it.
Eddy: Yep. I showed them the time of their life, Jonny boy. And it wasn't cheap. We'll just total up your bill. (pulls the lever on the cash register) Cha-ching! (the receipt tape on the register spews out) How do you wanna pay for this, Jonny? Cash, or cash?
Edd: (with receipt tape all over him, Ed, and Jonny; snaps) Eddy!
Jonny: (to Eddy) You're the one'll be paying, smarty-pants! Plank knows people.

Eddy: This is all your fault. They're all just hunks of wood, for Pete's sake!
Edd: I wouldn't say that too loudly, Eddy. I think they're watching us!
Ed: Make them go away, Double D! Make them go away!
Eddy: Man, this is stupid.

Take This Ed and Shove It[edit]

Old Eddy: (to Edd) What happened to us, Double D? We look like turkeys! (pulls at the loose skin on Edd's chin. The skin drops down and hangs limply)
Old Eddward: Calm down, Eddy. I'll let you shuffle. (holds out a deck of cards)
Old Eddy: I hate cribbage! (swats the deck away and falls over) I'm just a kid!
Old Double Dee: (laughing) Kid!? Oh, Eddy. We haven't been kids in over 90 years.
Old Eddy: 90 years?
Old Ed: (falling over) Baby go wee-wee! (he and Edd laugh)

Old Eddy: What lame-brained schmuck would throw away a perfectly good tricycle?

External links[edit]