Ed, Edd n Eddy (season 1)
The following is a list of quotes from the first season of Ed, Edd, n Eddy.
The Ed-touchables
[edit]- Edd: Four thousand eight hundred and twenty, four thousand eight hundred and twenty-four–ooh, I like what you've done with that tunnel–four thousand eight hundred and thirty-one, four thousand eight hundred and thirty-five, that's everybody. Four thousand eight hundred and–[does some calculations on an abacus]–thirty-seven. [placing a label reading Ants 4,837 on his ant farm. The doorbell then rings but upon opening it, he finds nobody there and walks away. This happens 2 more times] Now please–! [a bucket of water falls on his head. He walks away, but the bell rings again. He answers it and a fish hits him in the face. He walks away, but the bell rings yet again, and this time Eddy is there]
- Eddy: Hey, Double D, what took you so long?
- Edd: Oh. Hello, Eddy. So, what're you doing? Hey. Was that you ringing my doorbell?
- Eddy: Who, me? Nah.
Nagged To Ed
[edit]- [The scene opens in a garage. An insect is crawling across what appears to be a workshop desk.]
- Edd: Not so fast, little fella.
Over Your Ed
[edit]Pop Goes the Ed
[edit]Sir Ed-a-Lot
[edit]- Nazz: Wow, Eddy, cool car. [Eddy rolls the window back up]
- Kevin: [tapping on the window] Hey dork. Whose car is it, you twerp?
- [Eddy cranks up the volume on the car radio, causing both Nazz and Kevin to run away]
- Edd: Hey, Eddy. What are you doing?
- Eddy: Just buffing the wheels.
- Edd: Whose car is this, Eddy?
- Eddy: Beats me. Where's Ed?
- Sarah: As I was saying, I am the queen!
- Ed: And we are your serviants.
- Eddy: Next thing you know, she wants a throne. [cut to Sarah on a makeshift throne] A toast to my big mouth.
A Pinch To Grow an Ed
[edit]- Eddy: Nice boots, Mr. Inventor Smarty Pa- [is propelled into the garage ceiling and immediately falls back down in a daze] Nice pants, Mr. Smarty Boots Nice...
- Edd: Careful, Eddy, that button is very sensitive.
- Sarah: Ed, what are you doing?
- Ed: Making Eddy tall.
- Sarah: I'm telling mom.
- Jimmy: I wanna be tall too.
- Sarah: Come on, Jimmy.
Read All About Ed
[edit]- Ed: [buried beneath a mountain of papers] Hey look, my horoscope - 'New enterprise fails to meet expectations'. What's that mean?
- Edd: Summer rains, you can never predict them.
Quick Shot Ed
[edit]- Ed: Mmm, I found a donut.
- Eddy: That's a record, chowderhead.
An Ed Too Many
[edit]- Edd: [dreamily] With good luck, the daily chore of applying fabric softener would become a thing of the past.
- Ed: [hears the growling] EDDY!!! [jumps into Eddy's arms]
- Eddy: You're giving me a hernia, Ed!
- Ed: It sounds like the howl of a werewolf from the belly of Hades!
- Eddy: Aah! Get off me, Ed! That's your belly.
- Ed: [stares at his rumbling stomach for a few seconds and chuckles] I'm hungry.
- Eddy: We can go to my house and make some pizza.
- Edd: I'll make the sauce.
- Ed: I'll get in the way and make a big mess.
- Jimmy: [feebly kicking Eddy] Where is Sarah?! I want Sarah! I miss Sarah! Give her back!
- Eddy: [to Ed, ignoring Jimmy] Let's get this over with...
Eddy: [after seeing Jonny stealing a four leaf clover] Hey. Uh. That's our luck.
Edd: That's always our luck.
Ed: [stomach growls again; surprising his friends] I'm hungry.
Ed-n-Seek
[edit]- [The Eds have the opportunity to hide in a game of Hide-n-Seek. Eddy is heading over to his hiding spot with some food]
- Jimmy: 81.82.83.
- Eddy: 24.25.26.
- Jimmy: 27.28.29.
- Eddy: [gets into a metallic bush, which is their hiding spot] Ha, this is the best hiding spot.
- Ed: We can stay here forever.
- Edd: At the rate of your consumption, it may only be minutes.
- [Eddy has an idea to get the kids to come out of their hiding spot]
- Eddy: [effeminate voice] Help me! Help! Somebody stole my purse! Oh, somebody help!
- Ed: Hmm. PLANK, YOUR MOMMA'S CALLING!
- [The scene zooms over to a bush in which Plank pops up from it]
- Eddy: They must be cheating.
Look Into My Eds
[edit]- Ed: Look into the circley thing.
- Rolf: You crazy.
- Ed: [turning to Eddy] It's not working, Eddy.
- Eddy: Spin it, bean dip.
- Ed: Thanks, Eddy.
- Lee: Look at me. I'm a movie star.
- May: I'm a TV star.
- Marie: You've been cancelled. I'm a TV star.
Tag Yer Ed
[edit]- Edd: Your techniques are incorrect, Eddy. To extract milk from a cow, you must use its udder.
- Eddy: I ain't touching that.
- Ed: Take me to your leader! [charges the Kankers]
- Eddy: Give 'em the Burr-Head Bump, Ed!
- Ed: I can't Eddy, my mom says I can't fight girls!
Fool on the Ed
[edit]- Edd: [recoiling from the handwritten Prank Master card in Ed's hand] He's such a horrible printer.
- Ed: You hold it, Double D.
- Edd: But I have no idea where it's been.
- [Last lines,; after unleashing the stink bomb throughout the Cul-de-sac]
- Ed: [sniffs] Something smells good.
- Edd: It is said that scent is a gateway to one's true inner essence.
- Eddy: [dizzy] Yes, I stink, therefore I am. [faints]
- [Ed continues to sniff as the cartoon ends]
A Boy and His Ed
[edit]- Ed: Hmm...Kevin's got a pretty fancy garage.
- Edd: [referring to Kevin's bathroom] Must be a built-in car wash.
- The Eds: Huh?
- Kevin: [in the bathtub naked and taking a bath] What are you dorks doing in here?
- Eddy: [blows a klaxon, then chants] Kevin, Kevin, he's our man!
- Edd: We can't do it-
- Eddy: But Kevin sure can! [plays a bas drum 6 times]
- [Ed bangs his head on trash can lids; Edd blows a noisemaker. The drum rolls away as Ed brings two lids, with Eddy in it. Ed moons, showing his butt with IN on his underwear, Eddy is standing upright with the K painted on his front body, Edd holds a sign EV]
- The Eds: Kevin!
- [Edd realizes they spelled it as KINEV and fixes it. Kevin holds up a sign that says "Dorks"]
It's Way Ed
[edit]- Ed: What's a fad?
- Edd: When something insignificant becomes popular.
- Eddy: Right. And we know the Eds are way insignificant.
- [Fad Freaker has become popular, just as the Eds have given up trying]
- Eddy: We're behind again.
- Edd: Cheer up, Eddy! My mom always says fads go in a cycle. In another ten years, we'll be back in style.
- Ed: I'm hungry.
- Eddy: [off-blank screen] Shut up, Ed.
Laugh Ed Laugh
[edit]- Edd: [sees a sign that says Quarantine] Oh, dear! A quarantine!
- Ed: I've seen this before.
- Eddy: Where?
- Ed: [points] There.
- [Each and every house has quarantine signs everywhere]
- Edd: It must be an epidemic.
- Eddy: So I guess we're the only ones not sick.
- [Eddy is locked into a padded shed and presented a large amount of fake money]
- Eddy: WE'LL BUY A TRUCK-LOAD OF JAWBREAKERS!
- Ed: What do you mean?
- Eddy: What do you mean 'What do you mean'? With all this glorious... [looks closely at the bill he's holding and sees a picture of Ed's face drawn on it] What the-?! It's fake!
- Ed: I drew it myself. [Eddy unleashes his anger] Eddy's mad.
- Edd: Correct. He's back to normal.
Dawn of the Eds
[edit]- Eddy: We'll be slurping jawbreakers for weeks.
- Edd: Uh, actually, Eddy, with current exchange rates, maybe an afternoon's worth.
- Eddy: Uh, you don't know what you're talking about. What do you think, Ed? Ed? Ed? Ed? ED! HEY!!! What's clogged up your brain, Ed?
- Ed: That! See? Robot Rebel Ranch!
- The Eds: [amazed] Ooh.
- Ed: "Marooned on a distant planet!". "Visitors in the void!". "No escape!!". Huh? AAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! [zooms into 'Adults Only' on the poster twice] It's not fair! Aw, if only I were older.
- Edd: Don't worry Ed. We'll see it on TV in a year.
- Ed: Yeah, with all the good stuff cut out.
Vert-Ed-Go
[edit]- Eddy: Ed, why is your helmet tied to your butt?
- Ed: For protection.
- Eddy: [attempts to get the helmet off Ed's butt] It's meant for your head.
- Ed: It's my butt!
- Eddy: It's not safe!
- Ed: Eddy, stop!
- Eddy:It's not meant-
- Ed and Eddy: AAH! [they both fall down]
- [The Eds follow Jonny to look for wood]
- Jonny: [points] There!
- [The camera zooms over to a trash can full of garbage and Eddy picks up a popsicle stick from it]
- Eddy: A dirty popsicle stick?
- Ed: [grabs the popsicle stick from Eddy] Got it, Eddy.
- Eddy: [groans] We need large pieces of wood, Jonny. Tell Plank to quit fooling around.
- Jonny: Okay, okay! He said follow him!
Who, What, Where, Ed
[edit]- [Sarah and Nazz playing badminton, and Eddy grabs onto Sarah's racket]
- Sarah: Hey!
- Eddy: Give me your racket, Sarah!
- Sarah: My serve! [uses Eddy as a ball and Eddy hits the net, then flies through a fence] Don't ever touch my racket!
- Ed: [running round the entire cul-de-sac asking for a cup of clams] Can Eddy come out to play?
- Eddy: I'm right beside you Ed.
- Ed: HI EDDY!
Keeping Up With The Eds
[edit]- Ed: THE GOAT ATE SARAH! THE GOAT ATE MY SISTER!
- Eddy: Ed looking for the goat?
- Edd: I think he found it.
Eds-Aggerate
[edit]- Edd: Eddy, you should have told the truth!
- Eddy: Truth, schmooth; we're off the hook, aren't we?
Oath to an Ed
[edit]- Rolf: [after the microwave exploded and drenched Rolf and the Eds with gravy] Such waste and disrespect to the fast food stuffers is not allowed in the Urban Rangers! But, seeing you covered in filth reminds me of my youth. Next badge.
- Rolf: Those Ed-Boys are crazy like chickens except they lay no eggs. Ah, candied beets to calm my nerves.
A Glass Of Warm Ed
[edit]- Eddy: [blearily] Who turned off the sun?
- Edd: Ed is like a swarm of locusts ready to purge the cul-de-sac and all its good people of their food!
- Eddy: Y'know, you scare me when you talk like that. Let's go see what Big Ed's up to.
- Edd: Ed, did you know that you've been sleepwalking? And that you've consumed all the food within a five block radius of your bed?
- Ed: Not only that, but I feel like I have consumed all the food within a five block radius of my bed. Huh? [sees Edd's half-eaten cactus plant Jim] Oh, Jim got a haircut.
Flea Bitten Ed
[edit]- Ed: How's it look, Eddy?
- Eddy: Ed, you put the sign on upside-down.
- Ed: No Eddy, I put the sign on the garage.
- Eddy: Just flip it over, Ed.
- Ed: Flip it? Got it.
- Edd: Ah...I think I'm ready to tackle anything with my fine assortment of short and long, hard and soft hairbrushes.
- Ed: [flips the entire garage over] I flipped it, Eddy.
- Edd: Well, I can read it.
- Eddy: Ed's Pet 'Boutick' is open for business.
- Eddy: Anything good on Double D?
- Edd: [scouring TV listings] Ooh there's a documentary on mollusks.
- Ed: Boring! How about 'Bob: Defender of the Bunion People'?
Button Yer Ed
[edit]- Edd: It seems the fly has lodged itself into Eddy's voice box, disabling his ability to talk.
- Ed: [plucks one of Eddy's hairs off of his head. Eddy silently yells in pain] Eddy can't talk.
- [Edd and Ed are sitting on the front porch as Eddy is calling out to them from a distance]
- Edd: The brain is an amazing organ, Ed. It's actually fooling me that Eddy's calling out to us.
- Ed: Were Rolf's fish sticks good, Double D?
Avast Ye Eds
[edit]- Eddy: Is this thing on?
- Edd: Eddy, just speak into the mic.
- Eddy: What, this?
- Edd: Yes.
- Eddy: Okay, okay. Welcome, passengers, I'm Captain Eddy of Eddy's Creek Cruise, where you get more bang for your buck. I'd like you to sit back, relax and enjoy the soothing sounds of 88 fingers Eddward.
- Edd: This instrument is so annoying. [plays surprisingly outstanding pedal steel guitar. Everybody's jaws drop]
- Eddy: Ed! Fire up the engine!
- Ed: Roger walnut, Eddy! Jumping. [jumps down, rocking the boat, and puts his lower half in the water again] Kick my feet, kick my feet, kick my feet.
- Eddy: Faster, Ed!
- Ed Kick my feet faster, kick my feet faster, Kick my feet faster.
- Lee: I wanna be their barnacle of love.
- [The Kankers giggle]
- May: Barnacle.
- Lee: No hard feelings, buttercups.
- May: Let's kiss and make up.
- [The Kankers make kissy faces]
- Jimmy: [points upward] Oh look!
- [Jonny is revealed to be standing on top of the Kankers giant sail. He plunges Plank into it, and then slides down, ripping it]
- Marie: That kid's ripping our sail!
- [Jonny jumps off the Kankers boat and swims onto Eddy's Creek Cruise]
- Jimmy: Just like Errol Flynn!
- [Everyone cheers]
- Lee: Those were my best bed-sheets. Time for the heavy artillery. [pulls out her hairpin] Sink 'em, May.
- May: [putting the pin in a rubber band] Lee, my patch.
- [Lee lifts the eyepatch. May fires it directly into the tire]
- Jimmy: [watching] Look! [the hairpin hits the tire] Jonny! Save us!
- Eddy: I'm the captain here, I'll handle it! Oh look, a bobby pin. So scary. [starts to pull it out]
- Edd: Eddy! Please don't...
- Eddy: What? It's just stuck. [pulls it out. Holding up the hairpin] See?
- [All the air rushes out of the tire, and the boat deflates around the creek]
- Rolf: Hello, Ed-boys. When is the next sailing? My flesh begs me for sun and sweat. [Edd hands him the deflated inner tube] What? Huh?
- Edd: I was kind of hoping my first kiss would be enjoyable.
- Eddy: Alas, the sea is a cruel mistress.
- Ed: I'm stumped.
- Jimmy: [floating by in the background] Hair emergency! Hair emergency!
