Ed, Edd n Eddy (season 5)

The following is a list of quotes from the fifth season of Ed, Edd, n Eddy.

Mission Ed-Possible

Edd: Panicking Eddy!

Every Which Way But Ed

Edd: Good Lord, I’m Going to Be Ill!

Eddy: Remember Something Stupid, Remember!

Boom Boom Out Goes the Ed

Jimmy: WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE!! [all the kids got thrown into a panic, and started to run around screaming.]

Rolf: Rolf knows that soil and water creates water and entertainment

Kevin: You Mean, like a generator?

Rolf: is this a test!?

Out With the Old, In With the Ed

Edd: My school supplies! Gone! Pillaged! Plundered! [He backs away from the empty closet.] It can't be! [Edd covers his eyes and then looks again.] IT CAN'T BE!

[Edd falls to the ground. He then stands up and pulls something from the seat of his pants.]

Edd: "A highlighter pen?" "How am I supposed to take notes with a highlighter–

Ed: [jolly] Double D, can I have your hat?

Edd: Oh sure, why not. Why would I need a hat when school is now totally out of the question? [He throttles Ed and throws him on top of Eddy. Edd then has an idea.] Wait! [to Ed] You still have it, don't you? From your parents, yes? The back-to-school-sale coupon?

Ed: "Haven't got a clue what you're talking about, Double D. All I got is a back-to-school-sale coupon from my parents." [He pulls it out of his jacket.]

Eddy: "That stupid thing's worthless. The signs are as clear as the gap in your teeth, sockhead. School ain't meant to be. 'Cause it's Summer baby." [He does a knee slide]

Edd: [running to Ed] "Ed, please! I beg of you! I can't be at an academic disadvantage!" [Ed accidentally head butts Edd.] "Ouch. Without my school supplies, my grades are sure to plummet! [He crouches on the floor, in tears as Ed flosses using the coupon.] That coupon you're flossing with can procure the supplies to cross that desolate desert of scholastic learning.

Eddy: "Oh puh-leeze."

Ed: Sounds good to me, whatever you just said.

[Edd smiles and drags a pantsless Ed out into the rain.]

Edd: Quickly, Ed! We have shopping to do!

Eddy: Oh c'mon, guys! Forget school, will ya? SUMMER AIN'T OVER! [He throws off his apron. A breeze comes along and chills him.] Brr.

No Speak da Ed

Edd: Hurry, Eddy! Someone's Absconded with Ed! [Ed is pulled under a fence into Rolf's yard] Oh, Ed?

Eddy: Hey, Lumpy!

Edd: [turns off the Faucet who was dripping water] Waste not, cannot-

[Suddenly, the faucet begins to Rattle, It flips apart. And the Ground gives Away Edd and Eddy, sending them tumbling down stairs]

Cool Hand Ed

[Edd has refused to partake in Eddy's plan of breaking out of school]

Eddy: Oh yes you do, or Ed here will write your locker combination on the girls' bathroom wall.

Edd: You wouldn't dare.

[Ed then sharpens a pencil using his mouth]

Too Smart For His Own Ed

Edd: [as Eddy tears up a book] What are you doing to that poor defenseless dictionary?!

Eddy: Ed's cramming for the spelling bee. [continues to stuff pages into Ed's ears] Feeling smarter, Ed?

Ed: [spewing out loose sheets as he speaks] What?

Pick an Ed

Edd: Have you ever had one of those days, Ed?

Ed: Every day of my life, Double D.

Truth or Ed

Ed: This Bubble Bathbel is a smart guy.

Eddy: It's Bobby Blabby, idiot.

---

Kevin: [hold Edd above the printer] Better spill the beans, Mr. Editor, or you're paper pulp.

Edd: I have no idea what you're talking about!

[Rolf shows him the paper]

Kevin: Who wrote this stuff?

Edd: [reading] "Miniature aliens?" "Hairy legs?" "Lost cities" and..."spandex bicycle shorts"? Who indeed is this Bobby Blabby? [Eddy sneaks towards the door with the money hat clamped on his head] Eddy? Care to explain?

Eddy: What? Uh...couldn't tell ya. Sounds like a jerk. [lets go of the hat and the coins fall out of it]

Ed: You dropped your loot, Bibby Boo-boo.

Eddy: IT'S BOBBY BLABBY! GET IT RIGHT! [covers his mouth] Oops.

This Won't Hurt An Ed

[Last lines; Ed has brought Eddy over to the medical room for an injection]

Eddy: Hey! Let me go! Untie me!

Ed: I found him the science cupboard pretending to be a stuffed beaver, Double-D.

Edd: The nurse thanks you, Eddy.

Eddy: Oh Yeah? What for?

Edd: For helping Kevin conquer his fear of needles by allowing him to witness the safe and easy administration of a real booster shot.

Eddy: Oh no you don't! Not me! [tries to run away]

Ed: [catches Eddy] Worry not, little man. Because you get to have a lollypop after. [drags Eddy to the medical room]

Eddy: Mommy.

Kevin: Sweet.

Eddy : But...No! Don't do it! I'm too young!

Ed: Needle?!?! [runs out of the medical room, but comes back to pick up his lollypop]

Eddy: I hate Needles!

[Kevin is heard laughing whilst Ed walks off with his lollypop in his mouth]

Tight End Ed

Edd : It's not how you win or lose, it's how you play.

'Tween a Rock and an Ed Place

Edd: It's all fun and games 'til Ed loses conciousness, Eddy.

All Eds Are Off

Eddy: Great! So I end up with a detention because of YOUR stupid eating habits. [puts the detention slip on Ed's chest]

Ed: Is it that time already? Ooh, gravy cakes. Yum. [pulls some from the inside of his jacket]

Edd: Excuse me, Ed, but don't you feel this daily diet of gravy may become detrimental to your health?

Eddy: I swear he's obsessed with the stuff. It's stashed here. [he pulls up Ed's shirt, revealing five gravy boats taped to his chest] Hides it there. [he pulls off Ed's left shoe and gravy flows out] " I bet you couldn't go a lousy day without your lousy gravy, Ed."

Ed: Says you. [drinks from a thermos of gravy]

Eddy: SO PROVE IT!

Ed: [clutching his ears] AAAAH! YOUR VOICE IS LIKE TOOTHPICKS IN MY DRUMSTICKS, EDDY!

Edd: I agree, Ed. I've always wished Eddy could communicate in a tone of voice that didn't rattle the timbers of every house in a four-block vicinity.

Ed: [to the camera] Don't touch that dial, kids.

Eddy: What about YOU, Mr. Encyclopediac? I bet I could stop yelling WAY before you could stop using those big fancy-schmancy words of yours.

Jonny: Plank says Double D would go wacky if he only used words with one syllable.

Eddy: Ha. Even the doorstop's got you pegged.

Kevin: Aw, Dork, Dork and Dorky are having a little tiff. Ain't it precious? [he and Nazz laugh] What dorks.

Rolf: Always with this duck word, yes Kevin-boy? Rolf would wager his love of mammal flesh and 25 cents that you cannot renounce this label for the mixed-nuts Ed-boys.

Eddy: 25 cents?

Kevin: What? I can give up saying dork just like that. [snaps his fingers]

Eddy: [moves to a seat by Jonny] Think you could go a whole day without that chunk of termite food telling you what to do?

Jonny: Easy-peasy lemon-squeezy, Eddy. Right, Plank?

Eddy: Sounds like we got ourselves a bet. Are ya in or what?

---

Eddy: Let's see here... Con-she-enn-shus?.... what kinda bunk word is that...?

(Edd looks uncomfortable, trying not to correct Eddy.)

Eddy: Ohhhh... here's another one... temper-a-mental.....

(Edd fidgets)

Eddy: I dunno about you, but that's just plain stupid.

Edd: STOP!!!!!! (Snatches the dictionary away, holds it protectively.)

Edd: I will not tolerate your singlehanded annihilation of the English language for your own monetary gain, Eddy!

(Edd pauses, drops the dictionary, and covers his mouth)

Smile For the Ed

Ed: Don't touch that dial, kids.

Edd: Good Afternoon, Peach Creek Jr. High. This is your principal speaking with a very important announcement. All copies of student Eddy's photographs are to be returned to him immediately. This will leave to comply a well-warned detention for the rest of the semester. Thank You.

Kevin: Bummer.

Eddy: You heard the man.

Edd: Did I just do that? I did, didn't I? I just impersonated the Principal! Made false declarations in his name! Ohhh what have I done?

Run, Ed, Run

Ed [to Eddy]: The sky is falling! The sky is falling, Eddy! It hit me on the head. It did.

Eddy: You're probably just growing a brain there, lumpy.

---

Edd: We hit the sky?! [the sky cracks] This isn't possible!

[A "piece" of the sky falls]

Eddy: Ed was right, the sky is falling.

Ed: Thank you very much.

Eddy: So, now what do we do?

Edd: I'm afraid we're just about to find out, Eddy.

[The sky breaks, causing the Eds to fall down screaming]

A Town Called Ed

[The TV spits static as Kevin unsuccessfully tries changing channels. The picture resolves to a fake outdoor fireplace]

Eddy: [offscreen] Go on, get in there.

Edd: [prances onscreen, dressed like a pilgrim] Um...good morrow to thee. I'm about to share with thou fellow villagers the tale of Fort Peach Creek. Let us–begin, shall we?

Sarah: I hate public access.

[Kevin tries unsuccessfully to change the channel]

Edd: A long time ago, Peach Creek was buteth an untamed wilderness of towering trees, torrid waters, and savage beasts.

Ed: [wearing a moose cap, leaps out from behind a fake bush] Cock-a-doodle doo! I am a salvaged moose! Bleaugh! [walks offscreen]

Edd: [takes center stage once more] Oh, regardeth over the horizon, for the hero of our epic tale doth approach.

Eddy: [appears, pretending to tow a tiny wagon which, by perspective, looks large] I have come from afar and shall claim this wilderness as our own! [Ed, clueless, stands in front of the camera] Hark ye, o' savage moose, moveth along, or be turned into moose chops, hear ye?

[Ed doesn't move, so Eddy flicks his eyes]

Ed: This landeth is your landeth o' great shorteth one.

[Edd gives Ed a flag]

Eddy: Yes, this land is fulleth of peachy fuzzy fruits, and for this reason I claimeth this place as Fort Peach Creek.

[The hill of leaves collapses, and he snaps the flag]

Edd: And...there...you'll...haveth...it.

Ed: Cock-a-doodle doo!

A Fistful Of Ed

Edd: Come back here, you!

Kevin: Now's our chance!

Sarah: Jimmy get out of there!

[Edd turns around just in time to see the kids exit the lunch room. They are all afraid of him.]

Eddy: Yeah! You better run! 'Cause Double D's got all your numbers! And your addresses! Ooh yeah, I'm pumped baby![serious] Maybe a little rough on Ed, huh? He is our pal, you know. Right! You know best, champ! So hey, I'm gonna go make Nazz rub my feet.[leaves]

Edd: What have I become? Are these indeed the hands of a lowly thug?

---

Eddy: HEY! He's had ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Beat it.

Ed: Good one, Eddy.

Eddy: Vultures.