Elf (film)
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Elf is a 2003 film about a man (Will Ferrell) raised by Santa's elves at the North Pole is sent to the America in search of his true identity.
- Directed by Jon Favreau. Written by David Berenbaum.
This holiday, discover your inner elf.
Dialogue[edit]
- Buddy: [gasps] Wow! What's this?
- Gimbel's Manager: This is the North Pole.
- Buddy: No, it's not.
- Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is.
- Buddy: No, it's not.
- Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is.
- Buddy: No, it isn't.
- Gimbel's Manager: Yes, it is.
- Buddy: No, it's not. Where's the snow? [smiles]
- Gimbel's Manager: Why are you smiling like that?
- Buddy: I just like to smile! Smiling's my favorite!
- Gimbel's Manager: [pause] Make work your favorite, okay?
- Buddy: Okay.
- Gimbel's Manager: Work is your new favorite.
- Buddy: Fine.
- Gimbel's Manager: It's time for an announcement. [to the employees] Okay, people! Tomorrow morning, 10:00am, Santa's comin' to town!
- Buddy: SANTA!!! OH, MY GOD!!! [excitedly, to the manager] Santa, here? I know him! I know him!
- Gimbel's Manager: He'll be here to take pictures with all of the children. 10:00am tomorrow.
- Buddy: 10:00am tomorrow!
- Gimbel's Manager: Santa's comin' to town.
- Buddy: Uh-oh. Sounds like somebody needs to sing a Christmas carol.
- Jovie: No way.
- Buddy: The best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear.
- Jovie: Thanks, but I don't sing.
- Buddy: Oh, well, it's just like talking, except longer and louder, and you move your voice up and down.
- Jovie: I can sing, I just choose not to sing. Especially in front of other people.
- Buddy: If you can sing alone, you sing in front of other people. There's no difference.
- Jovie: Actually, there's a BIG difference.
- Buddy: No... no... no, there isn't. Wait... [Starts singing loud and off-key] I'm singing!/I'm in a store and I'm singing! [adeptly] I'm in a store and I'm singing!
- Gimbel's Manager: HEY! There's no singin' in the North Pole!
- Buddy: Yes, there is!
- Gimbel's Manager: No, there's not!
- Buddy: We sing all the time!
- Gimbel's Manager: No, there's not!
- Buddy: Especially when we make toys! [to Jovie] See?
- Deb: [over intercom] Mr. Hobbes? It's me on the intercom?
- Walter Hobbes: Yeah?
- Deb: I think someone sent you a Christmas gram. [escorts Buddy in]
- Buddy: [excitedly] DAD!!!!
- Jovie: How come you were in the women's locker room this morning?
- Buddy: I heard you singing.
- Jovie: You sure had it nothing to do with the fact that I was naked and in the shower?
- Buddy: I didn't know you were naked. Why were you here so early?
- Jovie: They shut my water off. What were you doing here?
- Buddy: Building this.
- Jovie: You built this? They're kinda pissed about this.
- Gimbel's Manager: [appears] Hey, guys. Have you seen the place? It's pretty good. It's a little "too good". Corporate must have sent in a professional. I don't know why somebody's gunning for my job. But look, let's remain a team, okay? Cause if I go, we all go. If you get wind of anything, call me on my radio. Channel three. Code word is "Santa's got a brand new bag." Okay? [to Jovie] Six inch ribbon curls, honey.
- Jovie: [rolls her eyes] But that's impossible.
- Gimbel's Manager: [interrupting] SIX... inches. [storms away]
- Buddy: By the way, you have the most beautiful singing voice in the whole wide world.
- [Buddy sees Santa in the store]
- Buddy: Santa.
- Gimbel's Santa: Hey! Ho, ho, ho!
- [the children cheer excitedly]
- Buddy: Santa! It's me, Buddy! It's me!
- Gimbel's Santa: Hey, buddy. How you doing?
- [an elf places a child on his lap]
- Buddy: Santa, it's me! [but his excitement and enthusiasm fades away as he grimaces at him] Who the heck are you?
- Gimbel's Santa: What are you talking about? I'm Santa Claus.
- Buddy: No, you're not.
- Gimbel's Santa: Uh... Why of course I am! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho.
- Buddy: Well, if you're Santa, what song did I sing for you on your birthday this year?
- Gimbel's Santa: Um... Well, Happy Birthday, of course! Ho, ho, ho! So, uh, how old are you son?
- Paul: Four.
- Gimbel's Santa: You're a big boy. What's your name?
- Paul: Paul.
- Gimbel's Santa: And, uh, what can I get you for Christmas?
- Buddy: [quietly] Paul, don't tell him what you want. He's a liar!
- Gimbel's Santa: [to Buddy] Let the kid talk.
- Buddy: You disgust me. How can you live with yourself?
- Gimbel's Santa: Just cool it, zippy!
- Buddy: You sit on a throne of lies.
- Gimbel's Santa: Look, I'm not kidding.
- Buddy: You're a fake.
- Gimbel's Santa: I'm a fake?
- Buddy: Yes.
- Gimbel's Santa: How'd you like to be dead?! Huh?
- Paul: Fake.
- Gimbel's Santa: No, he's kidding.
- Buddy: [sniffs] You stink.
- Gimbel's Santa: [as the elf takes Paul off his lap after a picture] I think you're gonna have a good Christmas, all right?
- Buddy: You smell like beef and cheese, you don`t smell like Santa.
- Gimbel's Santa: OK.
- [Buddy accidentally rips off the beard of Gimbel's Santa, and gasps. The kids scream in horror]
- Buddy: HE'S AN IMPOSTER! HE'S NOT SANTA!
- [they get into a fight]
- Buddy: He's a fake! He's a fake! I saw!
- Gimbel's Santa: Come here! Come here!
- Buddy: He's a fake!
- Gimbel's Santa: Where are you goin' now? Where are you goin' now?
- [he angrily smashes Buddy's designs; the manager starts tackling the fake Santa to protect Buddy]
- Buddy: He's not Santa Claus! He's not Santa!
- Emily: You sure like sugar, huh?
- Buddy: Is there sugar in syrup?
- Emily: Yes.
- Buddy: Then YES! We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.
- Emily: So, Would You Be Staying With Us Then?
- Buddy: [out of breath from stalking Michael] Wow, you're fast. I'm glad I caught up to you. I waited five hours for you. Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?
- Michael: Go away!
- Buddy: [drunk] I know I sound like a broken record but we are buddies, you're my best friend, that's it.
- Mailroom Guy: You know, I have really great ideas, but no one around here listens to me.
- Buddy: I listen to your ideas, you have great ideas.
- Mailroom Guy: I got to go with the flow.
- Buddy: Then go with the flow.
- Mailroom Guy: No! I got to get out of the flow, that's what got me here.
- Buddy: Then get out of the flow.
- Mailroom Guy: I mean I'm 26 years old, I've got nothing to show for it.
- Buddy: You're young, you're so young...You know my papa, he didn't make master tinker till he was 490.
- Mailroom Guy: [chuckles] 490...
- Buddy: Tickle fight! [tickles the mailroom guy, who laughs hysterically]
- [Buddy and Jovie are ice skating at Rockfeller Center. Buddy kisses Jovie on the cheek.]
- Buddy: Sorry.
- Jovie: You missed.
- Buddy: What do you mean I missed?
- Jovie: You missed. [kisses Buddy]
- Miles Finch: It's just one of those ideas, I'm just psyched out of my mind about...ya' know, it's just one of those ideas where you're like, YES!
- Eugene: [brainstorming for a new book] What about this: a tribe of asparagus children, but they're self-conscious about the way their pee smells. [hand movements]
- Gimbel's Worker: Passion Fruit spray?
- Buddy: Fruit spray? Sure. [takes bottle and sprays it in his mouth, then reacts in surprise and disgust]
- Walter: [whispering] I think we should call security.
- Deb: [whispering] Good idea.
- Buddy: [whispering] I like to whisper too!
- Walter: Are you crazy? He can't stay here.
- Emily: We can't just throw him out in the snow.
- Walter: Why not? He loves the snow. He's told me 15 times.
- Emily: Walter, he's your son.
- Buddy: He must be a South Pole elf.
- Walter: [Angry] You get the hell outta here.
- Buddy: Where do you want me to go?
- Walter: [furiously] I don't care where you go. [starts yelling] I don't care that you're an elf! I don't care that you're NUTS! I DON’T CARE THAT YOU’RE MY SON!! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!! NOW!!!
- [Heartbroken, Buddy runs out of the office while the clients look at Walter in disappointment.]
- Buddy: Hey! You found it.
- Michael: Buddy!
- Buddy: I need to tell you something.
- Walter: No, no Buddy, there's something I have to tell you right now. Um, I didn't mean anything I said back there, not one word. I know you be a little, um, um… Uh, chemically imbalanced, But you've been right about a lot of things. I… I don't want you to leave. You're my son, and I… love you.
Cast[edit]
- Will Ferrell - Buddy
- James Caan - Walter
- Zooey Deschanel - Jovie
- Mary Steenburgen - Emily
- Daniel Tay - Michael
- Edward Asner - Santa Claus
- Bob Newhart - Papa Elf
- Faizon Love - Gimbel's Manager
External links[edit]
- Elf quotes at the Internet Movie Database
- Elf at Rotten Tomatoes
- The official Elf site