Elvira, Mistress of the Dark

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My name's Elvira, but you can call me 'tonight'.

Elvira, Mistress of the Dark is a 1988 comedy horror film about a television horror hostess who inherits an old New England mansion, a poodle, and a black-magic cookbook.

Written by Cassandra Peterson, John Paragon and Sam Egan, directed by James Signorelli.
Here comes Elvira…there goes the neighbourhood! (taglines)


  • [to Bob] My name's Elvira, but you can call me 'tonight'.
  • I didn't know I had a good aunt, let alone a great one.


  • Chastity Pariah: Listen, young lady. I don't know who you are or where you came from, but you certainly don't fit in this town. Why, you don't even fit in that dress.
  • Elvira: Listen, sister. If I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you.

  • Bob Redding: I, ah…I can only play G-rated movies.
  • Elvira: Oh well, there's nothing wrong with G-rated movies, as long as there's lots of sex and violence.

  • Elvira: Bloody Mary.
  • Bartender: No hard liquor served past eight o'clock. Do you want a virgin?
  • Elvira: Maybe, but, ah…I'll have a couple of drinks first.

  • Patty: Seems to me it's all this cheap little tart's fault.
  • Elvira: Cheap? Who are you callin' cheap? What's that perfume you're wearing, Catch of the Day?
  • Patty: Look, honey. I don't know which hole you crawl out of, but I suggest you crawl right back in it, if you know what's good for you.

  • Vincent Talbot: I must apologise for my behaviour in the office, it's just that your appearance was a bit of a shock to me.
  • Elvira: It's okay. My appearance is kind of a shock to everybody.

  • Lesley Meeker: We do have a room. Remember the trucker with the bad skin checked out yesterday?
  • Elvira: I hope you changed the sheets.

  • Elvira: [ringing the motel bell] I hate to interrupt this little episode of the Waltons. But can I have room?
  • Mrs. Meeker: Okay, but it's cash up front. I know what you pinko heavy metal weirdos do to motel rooms. I read all about it in the Star.


  • Unpleasant dreams...
  • Elvira busts out in her outrageously funny feature film debut!
  • Elvira makes her Big Scream Debut in her Hot New Comedy.
  • Here comes Elvira...there goes the neighbourhood!


External links[edit]