Erma Louise (Harris) Bombeck (February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996), born Erma Fiste, was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for a newspaper column that depicted suburban home life in the second half of the 20th century.
- The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
- Title of book (1976)
- If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
- Book title (1978)
- If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
- As quoted in TIME (1984), also in Meditations for Parents Who Do Too Much (1993) by Jonathon Lazear and Wendy Lazear, p. 22
- I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
- A Marriage Made In Heaven; or, Too Tired For an Affair (1993)