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Erma Louise (Harris) Bombeck (February 21, 1927 – April 22, 1996), born Erma Fiste, was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for a newspaper column that depicted suburban home life in the second half of the 20th century.
- The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
- Title of book (1976)
- If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?
- Book title (1978)
- If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.
- As quoted in TIME (1984), also in Meditations for Parents Who Do Too Much (1993) by Jonathon Lazear and Wendy Lazear, p. 22
- I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.
- A Marriage Made In Heaven; or, Too Tired For an Affair (1993)
- You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.
- As quoted in 50 Ways to Stand Up for America : Put the Spirit of July 4th Into Everyday Life (2002) by W. B. Freeman
- It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else*