- [as Joseph in the Nativity play] My wife is pregnant and it's not my baby, but yet I'm cool with it, because God's the one who got her pregnant.
- Woman! Do your job and swaddle this baby!
- My childhood was like The Shawshank Redemption, except I didn't have some old, warm, black man to share my story with!
- You can't spell families without lies.
- Boys, I don't want to speak ill of your mother on Christmas, but she's nothing but a common street whore.
- Susan: Could you hold her for a sec? I need to make another layer.
- Kate: Actually, I-- [Baby Clementine begins to cry] Okay.
- Kate: Joe wasn't gay,
- Brad: OK, haircuts don't lie.
- Connor: Do you know who I am?
- Brad: What?
- Connor: Google me, bitch! I might be famous one day.
- Darryl: Look, Brad. I'm not trying to be your father, you already got one of those. I'm just hoping for a chance to be your friend.
- Brad: You were my friend, Darryl. You were my best friend. We grew up together, we rode bikes together, we used to smell each other's hands. But now you're sleeping with my mom and it's a little bit weird for me. Can you appreciate that?
- Darryl: I never had a sexual thought about your mom until I was 30.
- Brad: Can you leave it alone? You can't be my friend anymore. You can't be sleeping with my mom and still be my friend, ok?
- His father, her mother, his mother and her father all in one day.
- Pour eux les fêtes sont un vrai cauchemar. (For them the holidays are a real nightmare.)
- Vince Vaughn - Bradford "Brad" McVie
- Reese Witherspoon - Kate
- Robert Duvall - Howard McVie
- Sissy Spacek - Paula
- Jon Voight - Creighton
- Mary Steenburgen - Marilyn
- Kristin Chenoweth - Courtney
- Jon Favreau - Denver McVie
- Tim McGraw - Dallas McVie
- Katy Mixon - Susan McVie
- Dwight Yoakam - Pastor Phil
- Carol Kane - Aunt Sarah
- Colleen Camp - Aunt Donna
- Jack Donner - Grandpa
- Steve Wiebe - Jim
- Skyler Gisondo - Connor McVie
- Patrick Van Horn - Darryl
- Brian Baumgartner - Eric
- Cedric Yarbrough - Stan
- Creagen Dow - Sheep
- Zachary Gordon - Kid In Jump-Jump (cameo)
- Noah Munck - screaming kid