Frasier (2023 TV series)

Frasier is an American sitcom, airing on Paramount+, that stars Kelsey Grammer as Dr. Frasier Crane, who lives in Boston, Massachusetts and teaches at Harvard University. It is a spin-off of Frasier, which aired from 1993 to 2004.

Season 1

The Good Father [1.01]

Frasier: Don't sit down!

Freddy: So, we can't sit on the couch.

Moving In [1.02]

Eve: You and Uncle Frasier are gonna have so much fun living together.

Olivia: We'll see how it goes.

Freddy's Birthday [1.07]

[Frasier and Alan spot Freddy out with a woman]

Frasier: Frederick, you old dog! Who is this lovely [he sees it's Lilith] serpent?!

Lilith: Hello, Frasier.

Frasier: Lilith. Dear God, who looked in the mirror and said your name three times?

Lilith: Frasier, I almost didn't recognize you. I'm used to seeing you wedged between commercials for injury attorneys and walk-in tubs. I'm just joking. I've never seen your television show.

Frasier: Good to see you. Although if you're here, who's minding the children you've lured to your gingerbread house?

The B Story [1.08]

[David got a B (86) on his paper, Frasier allows him to do one rewrite, then he'll average the two grades together]

David: So, a perfect score or I won't get an A? What if I can't do it? My father's gonna be so angry. I can hear him now. "David, I'm sending you to trade school."

Freddy: Come on. Uncle Niles would never send you to trade school.

David: No, that's what he calls UPenn.

---

[David enters Frasier's apartment, confronting Frasier about the grade he got on his rewritten paper, that he wrote with Freddy's help]

David: A B-minus?

Freddy: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait. You gave his paper a B-minus?

Frasier: Well, the thesis lacked clarity and the execution was sloppy.

Freddy: (Offended) Hey! I mean... Hey, you guys are the brainiacs. Uh, you know, I... All I know is "fire hot, water cold." But, uh... you didn't think there was something kind of stirring about the section tying Skinner's foundation of behaviorism to Ernst Mach's view on mediating structures or, like, whatever?

Frasier: Why are you so invested in David's paper?

Freddy: I'm not. You are. What? I... Go, Pats! Whatever, dweebs. (Leaves)

David: I was talking to the registrar. You don't even have to submit a grade till Sunday. At least permit me to make a calm, evenhanded oral defense.

Frasier: David, accept your grade.

David: Listen to me, old man! I am not explaining a B to my father! I will throw you out that window!

Frasier: We're on the first floor.

David: I'll do it as many times as it takes!

(Bee buzzing)

Frasier: Aah! Aah, bee sting.

David: Are you all right, Uncle?

Frasier: Well, yes, yes. But if I don't do something, I could get all splotchy. Uh, listen, do you still have your-your EpiPen?

David: Uh, yes, you mean... this EpiPen??

Frasier: Great. God bless you. Give me the shot, thank you. David?

David: So it would seem I'm not the only one of us who's been... stung by a B.

Frasier: David!

David: You want my epinephrine, I want 60 seconds to show you how well I know Skinner.

Freddy: (Comes back into room) Whoa, whoa, wait, you've been stung by a bee? David, give him your EpiPen!

Frasier: No, it's all right. It's all right. Sit down. You have 60 seconds. Go!

David: Psychology asks the question, "Why do we do what we do?" Applied behavioral analysis is the answer, and Skinner's key assertions reverberate to this day. Why do I want this A? Why do you want to be a professor? The answer is that we can't help but pursue those things. You didn't choose to make those pastries. I didn't choose to corner the very frightened registrar in the dining hall until he told me the grading policy. No. A lifetime of punishments and rewards has conditioned us to always seek out the highest grade, the highest title, no matter what it may cost us. That is what determines our behavior. That is what makes us Cranes!

Frasier: I'm sorry, I can't go higher than a B-plus.

Freddy: Are you kidding me?

Frasier: No, no, it seemed desperate and heavy-handed.

---

[Freddy is visiting David in his dorm room, where he is packing his things]

David: I can't believe I let my desire for a good grade drive me to almost harm my uncle. I realized there's only one way to atone for this. I'm dropping out of Harvard.

Freddy: Wow. That's a big decision. What are you gonna do?

David: Oh, don't worry about me. Got it all planned out. I'm gonna become a fireman.

Freddy: Uh-huh. David, uh... are you sure you've thought this all the way through?

David: Of course. Being a fireman is, like, medium hard, right?

Freddy: Didn't you once spend an entire day stuck on top of a bunk bed 'cause the ladder fell down?

David: That was two years ago. Oh, what's the point? How far I've fallen from the brainy youth I once was. You know, my first word was "Dada."

Freddy: Yeah, that's actually pretty common.

David: No, it was at the Dada exhibit at the Met.

Freddy: Okay, look, I know you're taking this kind of hard, but it's really not the end of the world.

David: Says the guy with brains and brawn who can eat all the tree nuts he wants. I don't have anything but my academics.

Freddy: Oh, come on, that's not true. You got, uh... Well, there's, uh... Buddy, it's just a B.

David: To anyone else, it's just a B. But I'm a Crane. You know what it's like.

Freddy: Oh, yeah. The Crane curse. Nothing's ever good enough. There's always a shinier object just out of reach.

David: Exactly. You always have to get the highest grade, win every award.

Freddy: Spend every summer at trigonometry camp.

David: While all your friends are taking it easy at algebra camp. Why is our family like this?

Freddy: I don't know. I mean, growing up, I felt like I had to constantly prove I deserved to be in this family.

David: How did you deal with the expectations?

Freddy: (Chuckles softly) I guess I could until I couldn't. Then, one lecture, I just walked out, never walked back in.

David: Because of the pressure?

Freddy: 'Cause I wasn't happy. But if you drown out all the noise, the expectations, the grades, are you happy at Harvard?

David: Are you kidding? World-class libraries, multiple a cappella groups, 1.02 women to every guy. It's like a paradise.

Freddy: Well, there's your answer. You're where you want to be. So, don't let these little setbacks throw you.

Reindeer Games [1.10]

[David and Alan just finished playing a game, where they try to slip the names of all 9 of Santa's reindeer into casual conversation.]

David: Well, I had a lot of fun.

Alan: As did I. Most fun I've ever had sober.

David: You've had six whiskeys.

Alan: British sober.

David: Well, uh, then, Merry Christmas.

Alan: Merry Christmas to you.

Cast

• Kelsey Grammer – Dr. Frasier Crane
• Jack Cutmore-Scott – Frederick Crane
• Anders Keith – David Crane
• Jess Salgueiro – Eve
• Toks Olagundoye – Olivia
• Nicholas Lyndhurst – Alan Cornwall

See also

• Frasier, the original 1993-2004 series

External links

• Frasier quotes at the Internet Movie Database