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Freaky Friday (2003 film)

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Freaky Friday is a 2003 comedy-drama film about a mother and daughter whose bodies are switched because of an enchanted Chinese fortune cookie.

Directed by Mark Waters. Written by Heather Hach and Leslie Dixon, based on the 1972 novel by Mary Rodgers.
They've always been in each other's faces. Today they're in each other's bodies.(taglines)

Anna Coleman

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  • [sarcastically; repeated] Joy.

Tess Coleman

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Random

Harry Coleman

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  • (puts two chopsticks in his nose) Look, I'm a walrus!

Dialogue

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Anna: Mr. Bates, I really don't understand this F.
Mr. Bates: You completely missed the point of the book.
Anna: It's "1984". How could anyone miss it? It's a blatant attack on totalitarianism, about a rigid society, dominated by one all-powerful, ego-tripping dictator—
Mr. Bates: My grade is final.
Anna: Except he had hair. [Walks away]
Mr. Bates: [Calling after her] Anna!
Harry: I don't think he knows I even exist, so stupid thinkin' about him, but I can't help it. Jake! Ooooh! Jake!
Anna: GET OUTTA MY ROOOOM!!! [Anna chases the boys from her room] OUT! [Realizes her door is missing] Oh! My... My... Ah!
Ryan: She saw it. [Anna shrieks again offscreen]
Grandpa: I'm gonna check out those Lakers.
Ryan: I'm with you.
Anna: Mom! Mom, did you see what happened to my doo--? [sees Tess sitting at the table with her arms crossed]
Tess: I spoke to your principal.
Anna: What?!
Tess: Just now, on the phone.
Anna: Where's my door?
Tess: Privacy is a privilege, Anna.
Anna: Where's my door, Mom?
Tess: Your door will be returned to you, Anna, if or when you can explain--
Anna: I need my door. You give me the door, or I will kill myself!
Harry: [to Tess] Oh! Can I watch?
Tess: Harry!
Anna: SHUT UP!!! [Boys run away]
Tess: I think we can dispense with the drama. And maybe you can just calmly explain to me why you were in detention twice today.
Anna: Okay, I went to detention. But that was only because Stacey Hinkhouse kept hitting me on the head with a volleyball!
Tess: Now, when is this conflict with Stacey Hinkhouse going to end?
Anna: Never, because she's an insane, psycho freak! And you'd know that if you'd paid like a speck of attention while door is gone and it’s all your fault!
Tess: Anna?!
Anna: What?!
Tess: I think you know I pay attention, Anna. Enough to know that you got an F in English today.
Anna: Well, Mr. Bates is out to get me.
Tess: Oh, him too?
Anna: Yeah. You know, he just looks for ways to torture me. Like the one time Jake even spoke to me, he totally...
Tess: Who's Jake?
Anna: He's just... nobody.
Tess: You say I'm not interested, Anna. I'm interested. Try me.
Anna: Okay, he's just this really amazing guy, Mom.
Tess: Where'd you meet him?
Anna: Detention, but...
Tess: [Laughing] That's promising.
Anna: See? Do you see? Why do I even bother telling you anything?
Ryan: Okay, who's up for Chinese?
Anna: [Screaming] YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!! I'M MOVING OUT AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER AGAIN!
Pei-Pei: Hello, how are you?
Tess: Hello, Pei-Pei.
Pei-Pei: Anna, Harry, you're so big now. What happened? Are you happy for your mommy?
Anna: About what?
Pei-Pei: Oh. [laughs] She's such a joker. Who's catering? Chinese food good luck.
Tess: It's all planned already.
Pei-Pei: Okay, how about me?
Ryan: Anna, I preordered the Peking Duck.
Anna: Joy.
Ryan: Well, I know that's your favorite.
Anna: Whatever.
Tess: The wedding is in two days.
Pei-Pei: Think about it. See you soon. Happy dining.
Ryan: Anna, your door is underneath the back stairs.
Anna: Like I didn't figure that out.
Grandpa: Stop groveling, man. Let her come to you.
Ryan: She'd come with a hatchet. I think I'll go check on that duck.
Tess: Anna, do you really think that your surliness is the best way for you to get what you want?
Anna: I'm sorry, Mom. I really have been stressing in school, and I deserved every single one of those trips to detention. And I'm gonna apologize to Stacey Hinkhouse and Mr. Bates. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'll try and do better, Mom. I'll really, really try.
Tess: All right, what do you want?
Anna: To go to this really important audition tomorrow that we can never have again at the House of Blues.
Tess: An audition, that's great. Tomorrow? You mean after the rehearsal dinner?
Anna: Well, during.
Tess: "During". You mean as "instead of"?
Anna: Technically?
Tess: Anna, I need to talk to you right now.
Anna: I think I'm gonna pass on that.
Tess: Now! Anna, I am going to make one final attempt to understand what goes on in your head.
Anna: Don't treat me like your patients.
Tess: What?
Anna: All calm and reasonable. Let's talk about it. I really want to understand.
Tess: I really do want to understand, Anna!
Hostess: Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Pei-Pei: Oh, Mama, stay out of it, please. Mama.
Anna: Okay, fine. They're gonna pick one local band to play at Wango Tango. We were lucky to make this cut. Seriously, it's a once-in-a-lifetime chance, Mom. Please. Why can't I just go? Please.
Tess: And what I hear is that my special night means absolutely nothing to you.
Anna: I don't even have to ask if my band means anything to you. It's totally clear to us that you guys think we're all noise.
Harry: Look, I'm a walrus!
Tess: I do not!
Anna: Do too!
Tess: Anna, I let you practice in the garage. Anna, stop.
Anna: What?
Tess: Let's talk about what this is really about, okay? This is about your dad, isn't it?
Anna: Mom, stop shrinking me. It's not about Dad. It's about the audition! You're ruining my life!
Tess: Enough with the drama. Anna, high school is not that hard.
Anna: You couldn't last one day in my high school.
Tess: I could, and I would do it without getting a detention.
Anna: I'm sorry that I'm the one thing in your life that isn't perfect!
Tess: Perfect? You think my life is perfect?
Anna: Oh, I know your life is perfect. Your perfect job, perfect boyfriend, perfect patients who worship the ground you walk on.
Tess: You need a serious and bracing reality check if you think my life is perfect!
Anna: You can cut me some slack just this once, Mom.
Tess: I am beyond cutting you slack, Anna. But you are not going to the audition.
Anna: Yes, I am!
Tess: No, you're not!
Anna: Why not?
Tess: Because I said so!
Hostess: Cookie?
Tess: Um... this isn't really a good time.
Hostess: Now a good time. [speaking Chinese]
Tess: Okay, okay! Thank you. Anna, for one day, the entirety of our life is not gonna be focused on you.
Anna: Yeah, it's all about Ryan now, isn't it?
Tess: Anna!
Anna: Get away!
Tess: Honey!
Tess (in Anna's body): Honey, look, I think something's happened to us.
Anna (in Tess' body): What are you?
Tess (in Anna's body): It's me. Mom.
Anna (in Tess' body): You're not my mother.
Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, I am.
Anna (in Tess' body): Get away, you clone freak!
Tess (in Anna's body): Don't you use that tone with me.
Anna (in Tess' body): Oh, my God, you are my mother.
Tess (in Anna's body): And you're not who you think you are.
Anna (in Tess' body): [goes to the mirror and gasps] Look at me!
Tess (in Anna's body): I know. We seem to be inside each other—
Anna (in Tess' body): I'm old!
Tess (in Anna's body): [clearly offended] I beg your pardon!
Anna (in Tess' body): [screaming] Oh, I'm like the Cryptkeeper!
Tess (in Anna's body): Okay, that's enough. [They both look at each other and scream]
Anna (in Tess' body): [gasps] I want my body back.
Tess (in Anna's body): And I don't want mine? My wedding's tomorrow. Oh, my God, my wedding's tomorrow.
Anna (in Tess' body): Oh, I can't marry Ryan! Ew!
Tess (in Anna's body): Okay, Okay, Okay.
Anna (in Tess' body): Okay, what?
Tess (in Anna's body): I have no idea.
Anna (in Tess' body): Mom, maybe we should go to the emergency room.
Tess (in Anna's body): Oh no, all that'll get us is a 72-hour lockdown in the psych ward and a Thorazine drip. No, we're not going anywhere.
Anna (in Tess' body): Okay. Um, so, you're in my body and I'm in your body. Why don't we, like...
Tess (in Anna's body): Yes, I see what you're saying. A jolt. Okay, you go over there and I go over here. [She goes to the side far from Anna (in Tess' body)] Okay, now when I say go. Ready?
Anna (in Tess' body): Yeah!
Tess (in Anna's body): Go!
Harry: Hi, Mom!
Both: [they both fall down on the floor] Ow.
Harry: Grandpa, could you pass the milk?
Tess (in Anna's body): So Harry's still Harry, and Grandpa's still Grandpa.
Anna (in Tess's body): So it’s just us, what did we do wrong?
Tess (in Anna's body): I don't know.
Harry: Grandpa, PASS the MILK. [Shakes table] GRANDPA!!! PASS THE MILK!!!
Grandpa: EARTHQUAKE!!!
Tess (in Anna's body): Listen, I need you to give me a ride.
Jake: I thought your mom didn't want me giving you a ride.
Tess (in Anna's body): You know, you're a little too virtuous, kid.
Jake: You know what? I'm late for my second job.
Tess (in Anna's body): Just give me the ride. I know, for a fact, that my mother will understand.
Jake: You know what? I'm just gonna be very honest with you. You seem really different than the person I thought you were. I saw what you did to Stacey's test. I think you're right. You're too young for me.
Tess (in Anna's body): But I don't even know why I did that. It's really not like me. Honestly.
Jake: Good luck, Anna.
Tess (in Anna's body): Come on! They'll let her retake the test!
Anna (in Tess' body): Are you kidding, you think you can be me?
Tess (in Anna's body): Of course I can. Watch me. [mimicking Anna, who is still in Tess' body] "Oh, everyone's out to get me. You're ruining my life."
Anna (in Tess' body): It's easy to be you, I'll just suck the fun out of everything.
Tess (in Anna's body): I do not suck the fun out of everything.
Anna (in Tess' body): Fun sucker.
Tess (in Anna's body): Oh, this is ridiculous. I will go to school, and you will stay right... [suddenly remembers] Evan!
Mr. Bates: Today is a lovely day for a pop quiz. All of you should have finished reading Hamlet by now. I'm going to ask each one of you a question, and you will be graded according to your answer.
Tess [in Anna's body]: Oh, thank God it's Hamlet. I was in that play in high... I just know the play.
Maddie: Like that'll help you.
Mr. Bates [to a student]: Mr. Waters, describe the character of Hamlet.
Mr. Waters: Hamlet. He's, uh... he's one of the big characters. I mean, he's Hamlet. He's just... bopping around... doesn't know which way's up. I don't think the guy's got a clue.
Mr. Bates: You mean to say that he is a man...
Mr. Waters: Yeah.
Mr. Bates: Who couldn't make up his... mind.
Mr. Waters: ...mind. Exactly.
Mr. Bates: Good. B.
Mr. Waters: All right. Yeah.
Mr. Bates: Ms. Coleman.
Tess [in Anna's body]: Yes, Mr. Bates?
Mr. Bates: What are the central conflicts in Hamlet?
Tess [in Anna's body]: Well, political, of course, because Claudius usurped his father's throne. Oedipal, because of the undercurrents with his mother. Then there is the timeless question of insanity. Is he really seeing his father's ghost, or is he simply mad?
Mr. Bates: That is seriously overreaching. F.
Tess [in Anna's body]: F?
Mr. Bates: F. Mr. Franelli, who is Fortinbras?
Ryan: Harry, do you know who that is?
Harry: Anna's got a boyfriend. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.
Ryan: OK, where we going next? Harry's school?
Tess [in Anna's body]: Oh, he can walk from here.
Harry: It's 20 blocks!
Tess [in Anna's body]: The fresh air will do you good.
Harry: But what about bullies?
Tess [in Anna's body]: Run fast.
Ryan: Tess, look, really, it's no trouble to drive him.
Tess [in Anna's body]: Whatever.
Tess (in Anna's body): [Confronting Mr. Bates for failing her answer that was correct] Mr. Bates, may I please speak with you?
Mr. Bates: I think that would be fairly pointless, but go ahead.
Tess (in Anna's body): By what stretch of the imagination...I mean, like, how could I, like, get an F? What mistakes did I make?
Mr. Bates: Grading is subjective.
Tess (in Anna's body): That was a college-level analysis!
Mr. Bates: And you're qualified to make that assessment?
Tess (in Anna's body): As a matter of fact, I most certainly am.
Mr. Bates: Well, in the words of Hamlet, "What's done is done."
Tess (in Anna's body): [annoyed] That's Macbeth, you know-nothing twit– [upon realization] Bates! Elton Bates! Griffith High School.
Mr. Bates: How do you know that?
Tess (in Anna's body): You asked me...I mean, my mom to the prom, but she turned you down.
Mr. Bates: This is not an appropriate subject-
Tess (in Anna's body): And now you're taking it out on her daughter, aren't you? Aren't you?!
Mr. Bates: I don't know what you're talking about!
Tess (in Anna's body): Oh, come on! It was a high school dance! You've got to let it go and move on, man! And if you don't, I'm sure the school board would love to hear about your pathetic vendetta against an innocent student. [Starts to leave, but stops to make a final remark] Oh, and by the way, Elton, she had a boyfriend, and you were weird. [Mr. Bates is stunned into guilt]
Harry: Mom?
Tess [in Anna's body]: Yeah, whatever.
Harry's teacher: Oh, Mrs. Coleman.
Tess [in Anna's body]: All right, let's do this thing.
Harry's teacher: OK. Well, what can I say about Harry? He is a sweet boy, but he's having a little trouble with bullies.
Tess [in Anna's body]: So? That's character-building. The kid needs to toughen up. He's kind of a wimp. So, that's it? I can go?
Harry's teacher: No, not exactly. Harry's very bright, but he's having a bit of a problem applying himself, particularly in math.
Tess [in Anna's body]: So, hold him back. I mean, he's short. He'll fit right in, you know what I mean?
Harry's teacher: Well, you know, he's very good in English. I had the class write an essay on who they admire most, and he wrote a wonderful paper about your daughter.
Harry: So? What'd she say?
Tess [in Anna's body]: She showed me the paper you wrote about Anna.
Harry: You saw that?
Tess [in Anna's body]: Mm-hm.
Harry: Well, don't tell her I like her.
Tess [in Anna's body]: Well, why not?
Harry: Because we have too much fun fighting.
Tess [in Anna's body]: You know, kid, you are way more twisted than I thought. Good try!
Harry: Oh, man!
Tess [in Anna's body]: Loser!

Taglines

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  • Mondays are manic. Wednesdays are wild. And Fridays are about to get a little freaky.
  • Get Your Freak On August 1.
  • Every teenager's nightmare...turning into her mother.
  • They've always been in each other's faces. Today they're in each other's bodies.

Cast

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Wikipedia
Wikipedia
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