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Fun Size

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Fun Size is a 2012 American teen comedy film written by Max Werner and directed by Josh Schwartz, It stars Victoria Justice, Jane Levy, Thomas Mann, Jackson Nicoll, Chelsea Handler, Thomas McDonnell, Riki Lindhome with Johnny Knoxville and Osric Chau.

Wren DeSantis

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  • Albert, where are my boobs?!
  • My mom is gonna kill me.

April

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  • Oh my God, my ass is killing that cat.
  • Sexy kitty, or sexy mouse?
  • Oh God! Oh no, here comes the uplifting chorus!

Dialogue

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Wren: Maybe you can do an explaining rap too.
April: Wren...
Wren: I'm E.O. Wilson and I'm a scientist, I study ants and stuff if you get the gist, I'm about cool as a guy should get.
Roosevelt: Think Jason Bourne with a butterfly net.
Wren: Prang mantis, Prang mantis, the turtle, the turtle.
April: Don't do that.
Wren: What? Wha-what?
[The four kids pull through the Captain Chicken drive-thru in Roosevelt's parents' Volvo. "Three Little Maids From School, Are We" is on the radio]
April: [groans in disgust] My God, what are we listening to?
Roosevelt: That's my moms' favorite musical.
April: [annoyed] "Dad"... unlock me. [tries to open her door, but it's locked]
Wren: [turns around and stops April] April, I need your help. You are my best friend!
April: Which is why it's my duty to tell you that you are one more nerd music jam away from total, social suicide! Bye. [proceeds to climb out the open window]
Wren: Wha--? [to Peng] Peng, stop her! Grab her legs!
Peng: [grabs April] I got her! I got her.
April: [Wren and Peng begin to pull her back into the car] Get off of me!
Roosevelt: [to the drive-thru lady] Not tonight. Nothing tonight.
April: Okay, let me go, and I'll let you touch my boob for 10 seconds.
Peng: Thirty.
April: Fifteen.
Peng: Twenty, and I can pick a cold day.
April: Done.
[Peng lets go of April]
Roosevelt: April, come on, get back in, seriously.
Peng: [to Roosevelt] WATCH OUT!!
[Roosevelt stops the car as the exit is blocked off by Puglio's truck]
Puglio: [grinning smugly] Gotcha, perds! Thought you ditched us, didn't you, fart-breath?
Roosevelt: They look so mad! [tries to drive around Puglio's truck, but to no avail. Wren, Peng and April all start talking loudly at once] Inside voices! Inside voices!
Wren: Jump the curb.
Roosevelt: I have this. [prepares to drive forward, but accidentally throws the car into reverse]
Wren: Wrong way! AAH!
[The car strikes the tall, metal pole under the giant, mechanical Captain Chicken statue, causing it to shake]
Roosevelt: [embarrassed] I did not have it.
[Roosevelt and Wren exchange looks. The statue collapses on the Volvo and appears to be humping it. Puglio and his sidekick laugh raucously at the four kids' predicament]
Wren: Roosevelt, I'm so sorry! I'll tell your moms it was all my fault! I made you do it!
Roosevelt: No, you didn't make me do anything. I wanted to!
April: Oh, really? You wanted to spend your Halloween driving all over town in a rolling "Kick Me" sign?! You wanted to get violated by a giant pirate bird?! You losers have ruined our social life! [bursts into tears. Annoyed, Peng gets out of the car]

Cast

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  • Encyclopedic article on Fun Size on Wikipedia
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