Garfield: The Movie

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Garfield: The Movie, officially called Garfield, is a 2004 live-action/computer-animated family fantasy buddy comedy film inspired by Jim Davis' comic strip of the same name. In this film, Garfield is the large, obese cat was created with computer animation, though all other animals were real. Bill Murray provides the voice of Garfield.

Directed by Peter Hewitt. Produced by John Davis. Written by Joel Cohen and Alec Sokolow. Music by Christophe Beck.
Get ready for the frisky business(taglines)


  • See, I get my exercise doing my job. Just one quick CANNONBALL! [He leaps onto Jon's stomach.]
  • [to Jon, about adopting Odie] You had me, a chick magnet. And now you've got a tick magnet!
  • [After he switched Jon's hash with his food and Jon eats Garfield's food] Actually, it's liver-flavored!
  • I was the one! It was all about me! Not about some stupid, sniveling, smelly, high-maintenance, "Disco Dog"!
  • [first lines] I hate Mondays.
  • [sees Odie] Another day ruined.
  • [to Odie when he's being kidnapped] Odie, you're so dumb, you don't even know you're in trouble.
  • This rescue work is exhausting. When do heroes get to eat?
  • [repeated line] Oh, my poor nose!
  • [to the every dog and cat] Canines, felines, and "vermines", it's... showtime!
  • Now is the time for a plate of courage!
  • [to Jon while he was take Odie home] Whoa! You went in there to get a date and came out with a dog?! Well, that's bad even for you!
  • Love me, feed me, never leave me.
  • [to Jon make Odie mad] I was provoked, pushed, prodded, driven mad. You can't kick me out of my own house, like I'm some kind of animal! Oh, come on, Jon! Jon!
  • Let's step it up a little bit! Something like this!
  • [Garfield is about to fall approximately 10 stories] You know, I think I had a nightmare about this once...
  • Once again. My life has been saved by the miracle of lasagna.
  • That's his last name, Schnitzel?
  • Sure Jon, I'll eat all your lasagna for you.
  • And that's the sign that the tank is full.
  • Down, down, dog.
  • [surrounded by the street rats] Why am I being surrounded here?! Some of my best friends are vermin.
  • Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield, has left the cul-de-sac!
  • Hey, nobody gets to mistreat my dog like that except ME!
  • [dancing] I feel good!
  • [having just used a Rube Goldberg machine to drink some milk] (belches) Got milk?

Jon Arbuckle[edit]

  • [voice over] Hi, it's Jon. I was calling to see if Odie's been over there, and... I can't find him around. My name's Jon Arbuckle, and... I can't find my dog. I look all around the neighborhood, and... I can't seem to find him. I saw him last night, but I didn't see him this morning, and... If you see him, give me a call, please. Hi, it's Jon. I was calling to see if you've seen Odie. Um, I think he's run away. I was giving him a bath last night, and forgot to put his collar back on. 'Cause, you know, Garfield hates his collar. [back at home and on the phone] He's about 15 pounds, he's brownish-yellow, with brown floppy ears.
  • [to Garfield, tried to catch a mouse] What good is a cat, that can't chase a mouse?
  • [to Liz Wilson] Garfield's gone! He's run away, too! First Odie, and now Garfield. Liz, I am the worst pet owner on the planet!
  • Let's go for a ride to some place you love, that always leaves you feeling pampered and refreshed.
  • [sees a mouse in his house] Mouse!
  • Liz, I've wanted to ask you the same thing for a very long time.
  • [sees Garfield eats Louis in his mouth] Oh, good boy! See, I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it.
  • [confronts Happy Chapman] This is for stealing my dog and my cat. [knocks him out with one punch]
  • [sees Garfield's footprints] Garfield's been here!
  • [thinking that Garfield is beef] What am I going to do with you?
  • Happy Chapman took Odie? He's got Garfield, too?
  • [on the phone] No, Odie's not a hound dog. Yes, I'm sure. No, I don't want another dog. Thanks, anyway. Garfield, lunchtime! I made your favorite lasagna! [no responded]
  • Never. You guys are my best friends.
  • Sunday's great, Sunday's good, Sunday.


Louis, a chubby mouse who befriends with Garfield.
  • Garfield!
  • [looking up at Happy Chapman's building] The Telegraph Tower, in all it's splendor.
  • [to the street rats] Sorry, rat pack! This cat's with me. You all gotta roll.
  • I don't do the vertical thing.
  • Seems like you got yourself in a jam, huh?
  • Just wait for the walk signal!
  • There are dangers everywhere.
  • Sorry, Garfield. Man, I couldn't help it!
  • Jon's got those macadamia nut cookies! I'm trying to maintain.


  • Odie's a hero!
  • Keep walking, creepo.
  • Hey, that's Happy Chapman! He's going for a ride in a police car.
  • It just seems like a weird thing to do, bringing a dog into a house that already has a cat.
  • Hey, look! Garfield's dancin' with Odie. They're like buddies now!
  • They're off on an adventure and you're still here!
  • I can see the whole neighbourhood!
  • [gets overjoyed] Garfield! Garfield's a hero now!

Persnikitty/Sir Roland[edit]

  • [to a young girl] Eat hairball, Happy Chapman.
  • In the fur.
  • Would you please just stop calling me that?! My name isn't really Persnikitty. It's Sir Roland.
  • [calms Garfield down already] Oh, this really is too much.
  • And he lets you vacation in this charming animal pound. Hello?
  • Do you know, that is absolutely charming?

Happy Chapman[edit]

  • [seeing his brother on TV] Oh please, what a know-it-all. And everybody always said I was the handsome one. I was the smart one. And I was born first. But there you are, "live from The Hague", and here I am, working with this sack of dander on a dead-end regional morning show.
  • Good Day New York, I know you're gonna flip for Odie because, he sure is flipping for you.
  • [last lines] Be happy.
  • [to Garfield] No dumb, dirty animal is ever going to get the better of me. [to Odie] And let's see how you feel with 200 volts coursing through that thick canine skull of yours.
  • Nice kitty!
  • [after accidentally having cat allergies] Damned cat allergies.
  • This collar, is the dog's future.
  • Now we'll see how smart you really are.


Nermal: Why would he do a thing like that?
Garfield: Gee, I don't know, Nermal.
Nermal: It just seems like a weird thing to do, bringing a dog into a house that already has a cat.
Garfield: Can we drop it? I mean, it's no BIG deal. It's just a splattered bug on the windshield of my life.
Nermal: A bug?
Garfield: A dimwitted, smelly, goofy, splattered bug that I will deal with appropriately and enthusiastically.

Garfield: Oh, Sleeping Beauty, wake up! You can stop dreaming about me, because I'm here now. Just wake up. You've got work to do. You're not just my owner, you're my primary care-giver!
Jon: (still asleep) Not now, Garfield.

Luca: You're on the wrong side of the street, fat cat. Beat it!
Garfield: And you, Luca, the wrong side of the evolutionary curve.
Luca: Okay, that's it. You're gonna get it good today.
Garfield: I make a point to get it good every day. The real question, Luca, is how shall I outwit you this time?
Luca: What?
Garfield: Shall I baffle you with simple math?
Luca: I know how to spell.
Garfield: Or should I distract you with something shiny?
Luca: Now you're making fun of me.
Garfield: I hope so. You're no fun to look at.
Luca: You'll never get the best of me! Aaah!
Garfield: I think I just did.
Luca: Not the ducks again!
Garfield: Jump back! And kiss myself. Oooh!
Luca: If I ever get off this chain, you're goin' down.
Garfield: Everybody back up! I don't know how wild this thing is gonna get. I love the smell of cinnamon-apple in the morning. It smells like... victory.
Luca: Oooh! I hate this fat cat.

Garfield: [feel relaxed] Aah. So much time and so little I need to do. [Just a chubby little mouse appears when Jon spots it]
Jon: Mouse! [Garfield spots also]
Garfield: No thanks, I'm full.

Garfield: [feel relaxed at home] Oh, do I feel good this morning. I slept like a fat CAT. Hey, tall dark and human, what's for breakfast?
Jon: [looking for Odie, concerned] Odie! Where are you boy?
Garfield: Relax, I think he was gonna camp out.
Jon: Odie?
Garfield: Well, he probably had a sleepover at Luca's, I think.
Jon: Odie! Odie?
Garfield: Well, maybe he's fetching the paper for the neighbors. Where is that silly dog?

Garfield: Oh...delicious!

(Arlene and Nermal while watching Odie very sad)

Arlene: Poor Odie. That cat is such a pig!
Nermal: Garfield's a pig?
Arlene: You never put the dog out at night.
Nermal: Why not?
Arlene: Because away.

Happy Chapman: Any sign from the network yet?
Wendell: No, but they're looking for a dog act on Good Day New York.
Happy Chapman: Dog act?! Story of my life: Looking for a dog and I'm stuck with a cat!
Wendell: I thought the segment went quite well!
Happy Chapman: (mockingly) "I thought the segment went quite well!" Of course it went well, you TOAD! The fifty housewives who saw it, loved it.

(While Jon gets Garfield kicked out of the House in night)

Garfield: You just can't do this, Jon. He's trying to tear us apart. Don't you see that? You know me, I'm too lazy to try to destroy your house. I was provoked, pushed, prodded, driven mad. You can't kick me out of my own house like I'm some kind of animal! Oh come on Jon, Jon. You know I'm scared in the dark.

(Arlene,Luca and Nermal confront Garfield for what he did to Odie)

Luca: Hey! What are you lookin' at?
Garfield: Nothing, just looking for some company.
Nermal: Keep walking, creepo.
Garfield: What's going on?
Arlene: We know how much you hated Odie. We know how much you wanted him gone!
Garfield: Wait a minute. All I wanted was to sleep in "My Own" bed!
Arlene: And to do it, you cast Odie out into the cold, cruel world?!
Nermal: We saw how you locked Odie outside last night!
Garfield: Oh! I don't believe you guys, I didn't know he was gonna run away. He's a DUMB DOG! No, offense, Luca?
Luca: Uh, what?
Garfield: You can't blame me for that.
Nermal: Any one of us could be next.
Arlene: Yeah. There's no room for anybody else in Garfield's world.
Garfield: Huh? Oh, that's a little dramatic.

(Jon gives Garfield some mashed up cat-food and sets down his own microwavable hash-browns next to Garfield's cat food bowl)

Jon: It's liver-flavored.
Garfield: (sarcastically) Mmm, delicious...yuck! (when Jon comes back with a fork he does not notice that Garfield has taken his hash-browns and has put his own bowl of cat-food where Jon left his own breakfast; Jon accidentally takes a bite of the cat food)
Jon: AGH!! Oh, LIVER...!! (he runs to the sink and vomits)
Garfield: (smugly) Actually, it's liver-flavored.

Arlene: Garfield, are you all right?
Garfield: I think so. Luca's about to have Odie for lunch.
Arlene: If it wasn't for Odie, you'd be Luca's chew toy.
Nermal: Yeah, he saved your life. Odie's a hero!

Garfield: Thanks a lot, partner.
Louis: Oh, yeah. Hold up, G!
Garfield: [surprised] What?
Louis: Watch out for the popo! You know, 5-o? Controlo?
Garfield: [still surprised] Huh?
Louis: [start to crazy] Animal control, man!
Garfield: Oh, that popo!

[Louis, a chubby little mouse who was running when Garfield arrives]

Garfield: Louis! What are you doing in the house, when Jon's home?
Louis: Sorry, Garfield. Man, I couldn't help it!
Garfield: Look, when he sees you he expects more from me. Don't you get that?
Louis: Jon's got those macadamia nut cookies! I'm trying to maintain. You understand?
Garfield: Sure, as long as you understand that I have to eat you. [Louis moans]

Happy Chapman: (arrogantly) I can't go on like this anymore, Wendell. I've got to get a dog.
Wendell: Well I think that is a lovely idea! I know you've been sad and lonely since the divorce, and I've tried to be a friend...
Happy Chapman: Not for me, you imbecile! For the act! If I could get my hands on a really talented dog, wouldn't Walter J. just choke on his Emmy?
Wendell: (sees something) Like Odie?
Happy Chapman: Yeah, yeah. Now he was good. He was kind of dopey-looking and spry and--
Wendell: (sees the LOST poster) Lost? (sees Odie on the poster)
Happy Chapman: Huh? (Chapman comes over to the window to see the lost poster; His eyes widen upon recognizing the dog)

Happy Chapman: I believe you found my dog. He answers to "Odie".
Mrs. Baker: Odie?
Happy Chapman: Family name. Oh, Odie! Oh, come on! There you are! Yes! I can live again now. How could I ever repay you?
Mrs. Baker: An autograph would be splendid!
Happy Chapman: Then splendid it shall be.

About Garfield: The Movie[edit]


Live action actors[edit]

Voice actors[edit]

External links[edit]

Wikipedia has an article about: