Garfield: The Movie

From Wikiquote
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Garfield: The Movie, officially called Garfield, is a 2004 live-action/computer-animated family fantasy buddy comedy film inspired by Jim Davis' comic strip of the same name. In this film, Garfield is the large, obese cat was created with computer animation, though all other animals were real. Bill Murray provides the voice of the titular cat.

Directed by Peter Hewitt. Produced by John Davis. Written by Joel Cohen and Alec Sokolow. Music by Christophe Beck.
Get ready for the frisky business(taglines)

Garfield[edit]

Dialogue[edit]

Nermal: Garfield, Jon brought a dog home.
Garfield: I'm aware, Nermal.
Nermal: Why would he do a thing like that?
Garfield: Gee, I don't know, Nermal.
Nermal: It just seems like a weird thing to do, bringing a dog into a house that already has a cat.
Garfield: Can we drop it? I mean, it's no big deal. It's just a splattered bug on the windshield of my life.
Nermal: A bug?
Garfield: A dimwitted, smelly, goofy, splattered bug that I will deal with appropriately and enthusiastically.
Jon: Come on!
Garfield: As you can see, I'm still Jon's favorite.
Nermal: See you later, Garfield. Good luck with the bug thing!

[part of the opening scene, when Garfield wakes up and tries to wake Jon up]
Garfield: Oh, Sleeping Beauty, wake up. You can stop dreaming about me, because I'm here. Now, just wake up. You've got work to do. You're not just my owner, you're my primary caregiver.
Jon: [still asleep] Not now, Garfield. [throws his arm over him]

Luca: You're on the wrong side of the street, fat cat. Beat it!
Garfield: And you, Luca, the wrong side of the evolutionary curve.
Luca: Okay, that's it. You're gonna get it good today.
Garfield: I make a point to get it good every day. The real question, Luca, is how shall I outwit you this time?
Luca: What?
Garfield: Shall I baffle you with simple math?
Luca: I know how to spell.
Garfield: Or should I distract you with something shiny?
Luca: Now you're making fun of me.
Garfield: I hope so. You're no fun to look at.
Luca: You'll never get the best of me, ya li--! Uhh.
Garfield: I think I just did.
Luca: [realising that Garfield has tangled his [Luca's] chain around the duck statuettes in his owner's front garden] Not the ducks again!
Garfield: Jump back! And kiss myself. Oooh!
Luca: If I ever get off this chain, you're goin' down.
Garfield: Everybody back up! I don't know how wild this thing is gonna get. I love the smell of cinnamon-apple in the morning. It smells like... victory.
Luca: God! I hate this fat cat.

[Jon is in his office downstairs in his house, working on his computer. Garfield is sitting on the desk]
Garfield: [feel relaxed] Aah. So much time and so little I need to do. [Just a chubby little mouse appears when Jon spots it]
Jon: Mouse! [Garfield also spots]
Garfield: No thanks, I'm full.
Jon: Get him, Garfield!
Garfield: Get him, Jon. [While jon is chaseing the mouse] Oh, there's always gotta be smashing and crashing. Nobody poisons anymore. There's my ball!
Jon: What good is a cat that can't chase a mouse?
Garfield: I don't do the chase thing. All right, I'll handle this. I know you don't hear me, but can't you just listen?

Garfield: [feel relaxed at home] Oh, do I feel good this morning. I slept like a fat cat. Hey, tall dark and human, what's for breakfast?
Jon: [looking for Odie, concerned] Odie! Where are you boy?
Garfield: Relax, I think he was gonna camp out.
Jon: Odie?
Garfield: Well, he probably had a sleepover at Luca's, I think.
Jon: Odie! Odie?
Garfield: Well, maybe he's fetching the paper for the neighbors. Where is that silly dog?

Garfield: Oh...delicious!

Garfield: Another day ruined. Oh, you little suck-up! Oh! No! Down! Down, dumb dog! What part of no don't you understand? The push off the chair? OFF! I don't want to play. Oh, look, what am I supposed to say? Thanks for saving my hide with Luca? Okay, thanks for saving my hide with Luca. Now, get off!

[Arlene and Nermal while watching Odie, who is very sad after Garfield locked him out]
Arlene: Poor Odie. That cat is such a pig!
Nermal: Garfield's a pig?
Arlene: You never put the dog out at night.
Nermal: Why not?
Arlene: Because dogs run away.

Happy Chapman: Any sign from the network yet?
Wendell: No, but they're looking for a dog act on Good Day New York.
Happy Chapman: Dog act?! Story of my life: Looking for a dog and I'm stuck with a cat!
Wendell: I thought the segment went quite well!
Happy Chapman: (mockingly) "I thought the segment went quite well!" Of course it went well, you toad. The fifty housewives who saw it, loved it.

(While Jon kicks Garfield out of the house at night, after Garfield accidentally wrecked the house)
Garfield: You just can't do this, Jon. He's trying to tear us apart. Don't you see that? You know me, I'm too lazy to try to destroy your house. I was provoked, pushed, prodded, driven mad. You can't kick me out of my own house like I'm some kind of animal! Oh, come on, Jon. Jon! You know I'm scared of the dark.

[Arlene, Luca and Nermal confront Garfield for what he did to Odie]
Luca: Hey! What are you lookin' at?
Garfield: Nothing, just looking for some company.
Nermal: Keep walking, creepo.
Garfield: What's going on?
Arlene: We know how much you hated Odie. We know how much you wanted him gone.
Garfield: Wait a minute. All I wanted was to sleep in my own bed!
Arlene: And to do it, you cast Odie out into the cold, cruel world?!
Nermal: We saw how you locked Odie outside last night!
Garfield: Oh, I don't believe you, guys. I didn't know he was gonna run away. He's a dumb dog! No offense, Luca.
Luca: Uh, what?
Garfield: You can't blame me for that.
Nermal: Any one of us could be next.
Arlene: Yeah. There's no room for anybody else in Garfield's world.
Garfield: Huh? Oh, that's a little dramatic. Well, I guess I might have been a little bit tough about protecting my turf, but I don't hate the guy.

[Jon gives Garfield some mashed up cat-food and sets down his own microwavable hash-browns next to Garfield's cat food bowl]
Jon: It's liver-flavored. [walks over to the sink]
Garfield: [sarcastically] Mmm, delicious. [disgusted] Yuck! [when Jon comes back with a fork, he does not notice that Garfield has taken his hash-browns and has put his own bowl of cat-food where Jon left his own breakfast; Jon accidentally takes a bite of the cat food]
Jon: [disgusted] Ugh. Oh, liver! [he runs to the sink and spits in it as he turns on the faucet]
Garfield: [smugly] Well, actually, it's liver-flavored.

Arlene: Garfield, are you alright?
Garfield: I think so. Luca's about to have Odie for lunch.
Arlene: If it wasn't for Odie, you'd be Luca's chew toy.
Nermal: Yeah, he saved your life. Odie's a hero!
Garfield: Why, because I wasn't ripped to shreds? No, Odie's an imbecile until further notice.

Garfield: Hey, moondust, if I were you, I'd grab a nice piece of carpet. Jon doesn't let me sleep up top. Ever.
Jon: (sighs) Odie, you wanna sleep in the bed? Okay.
Garfield: Wha...?
Jon: Hey, buddy. Good boy. Who's a good boy, huh? You want to sleep on the bed tonight? (in high voice) Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
Garfield: I think I'm going to blow Cat-Chow Chunks.
Jon: Good night, Odie. Good night, Garfield.
Garfield: Great. Wish me luck with the nightmares.

Garfield: Thanks a lot, partner.
Louis: Oh, yeah. Hold up, G.
Garfield: What?
Louis: Watch out for the po-po. You know, 5-o? Control-o?
Garfield: [confused] Huh?
Louis: Animal control, man!
Garfield: Oh, that po-po.

[Louis, a chubby little mouse who was running when Garfield arrives]
Garfield: Louis, what are you doing in the house when Jon's home?
Louis: Sorry, Garfield. Man, I couldn't help it.
Garfield: Look, when he sees you, he expects more from me. Don't you get that?
Louis: Jon's got those macadamia nut cookies I'm trying to maintain. You understand?
Garfield: Sure, as long as you understand that I have to eat you. [Louis moans]
Jon: Ah, good work, Garfield! See, I knew you could do it if you put your mind to it. You're the best cat a guy could ever have.
Garfield: Have you tasted yourself lately?
Louis: Hey, it wasn't exactly the first-class lounge in there for me, either.
Garfield: Get yourself lost, Louis. Take a powder for a couple of days, get a haircut, and grow a beard.
Louis: Cool. I owe you one, G.

Jon: Okay, what am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What... What am I gonna do? I've waited for this night my entire life.
Garfield: If you tell her the truth, you'll feel much better. And you won't have to see her anymore. It's kinda creepy having a vet around the house, anyway.
Jon: I can't just go out and pretend like nothing's happened, can I?
Garfield: Well, I sure could. The one thing you can't do is tell her the dog's gone.
Jon: I gotta tell her.
Garfield: No.
Jon: I've gotta tell her.
Garfield: No! That's not what I said! Schmuck.

Happy Chapman: [annoyed] I can't go on like this anymore, Wendell. I've got to get a dog.
Wendell: Well, I think that is a lovely idea! I know you've been sad and lonely since the divorce, and I've tried to be a friend--
Happy Chapman: Not for me, you imbecile; For the act. If I could get my hands on a really talented dog, wouldn't Walter J. just choke on his Emmy?
Wendell: [sees something] Like Odie?
Happy Chapman: Yeah, yeah. Now he was good. He was kind of dopey-looking and spry and--
Wendell: [sees a poster saying "Dog found"] Lost. [see Odie on the poster]
Happy Chapman: Huh? [Chapman comes over to the window to see the "Dog Found" poster; His eyes widen upon recognizing the dog]

Happy Chapman: I believe you found my dog. He answers to "Odie".
Mrs. Baker: Odie?
Happy Chapman: Family name. Oh, Odie! Oh, come on! There you are! Yes! I can live again now. How could I ever repay you?
Mrs. Baker: An autograph would be splendid!
Happy Chapman: Then splendid it shall be.

Garfield: You know... I think I had a nightmare like this once. [Garfield screaming and falling into lasagna truck crashes and exploding] Once again, my life has been saved by the miracle... of lasagna.

Garfield: Why? Why has this happened? I was the one. It was all about me? Not about some stupid-- snivelling, smelly-- high-maintenance, disco dog?
[Garfield becomes upset and kicks the ball into a standard lamp]
Garfield: Oh, no.

Garfield: [seeing Happy Chapman take Odie] Hey! No one does that to my friend!

About Garfield: The Movie[edit]

Cast[edit]

External Links[edit]

Wikipedia
Wikipedia
Wikipedia has an article about: