- (James) Anderson has a gift from the gods: he could swing an orange.
- They should cut Joel Garner off at the knees to make him bowl at a normal height.
- To have some idea what it's like, stand in the outside lane of a motorway, get your mate to drive his car at you at 95 mph and wait until he's 12 yards away, before you decide which way to jump.
- If my mum was alive she could captain England to play West Indies... hopeless, aren't they?
- He's a lovely guy, that Ricky Ponting. He likes the English so much he changed the series for them with the most stupid decision he'll ever make in his life.
- On Ponting's decision to bowl at the crucial Edgbaston Ashes Test, 2005. Via Cricinfo.
- This idea that umpires are always right is a load of old cobblers. What I want to know is: Who umpires the umpires? The players suffer from their mistakes, but no one ever seems to get rid of the umpires themselves. Being an umpire is a people job: that's why Dickie Bird was good at it. Yes, he was a loony, and he made mistakes - everyone does. But he knew how to deal with people, so they respected him.
- Via Cricinfo, 2006.
- He can be so rude to people that sometimes you just want to punch his lights out.
- Co-commentator Mark Nicholas, Via Cricinfo, 2005.
- We were brought up watching opening batsmen score nine before lunch. If Geoffrey Boycott flashed at a ball outside off stump in the first over of a Test match, questions were asked in Parliament. If he flashed at two, the ravens abandoned the Tower of London.
- Brian Viner in the Independent, 2005.