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The talking pig who made his penis big! taglines
- Narrator: [first lines] Nestled in the heartland of America, there's a place called Meadowbrook Farm. And on this farm, there lived a happy pig family. A father pig, a mother pig, and six little pigs.
- Cousin Jake: Pigs are intelligent animals, and this one is real smart. Boy, I bet his I.Q. is as high as mine!
- Luke MacAllister: Oh, poor thing!
- Gilbert Sipes: Go play your banjo, Goober!
- Luke MacAllister: Banjo... Goober?
- Gilbert Sipes: Goodbye, Hero Pig! [Sipes then has an increasingly sinister look as his face is superimposed over scenes showing the package being mailed, sorted, and processed]
- Jessica Royce: Gilbert, you promised to help me. How can you even ask me to compete with a pig?
- Vinnie: [answering Hanky's call ordering him to close the factory] Come on, gimme a break, sweet pants, Vinnie's gotta make smoky links.
- Richard the Rooster: [frantically] Gordy! Gordy, where are you?! GORDY! Gordy! Gordy, there you are!
- Gordy: What's going on Richard? What's happening?
- Richard the Rooster: Come quick, Gordy. Your dad's in danger. They're taking him away! Hurry!
- Gordy: Danger? Daddy?
- Richard the Rooster: Hurry Gordy! Hurry!
- Gordy: Daddy, what you doing up there?
- Daddy: Gordy!
- Gordy: Daddy, where are you going?
- Daddy: Get out of here! They might take you with me.
- Gordy: Where are they taking you?
- Daddy: Up north!
- Gordy: Where's that?
- Daddy: Same place they took my father. And he never came back.
- Gordy: Oh, daddy! Yoinks!
- Daddy: Listen to me, Gordy. It's up to you. You're the head of the family now!
- Gordy: [tearfully] But daddy, you can't leave us!
- Daddy: Promise me Gordy. Promise me you'll take care of mom and the kids.
- Gordy: I promise, daddy.
- Man: It's a hot one.
- Daddy: Go on, Gordy. Run. Run!
- Man: Shame to see a farm go under.
- Man #2: Yep. He's a big'un. He'll bring a good price.
- Man #1: Yep, the way things are, can't blame folks for selling their livestock. People need cash.
- Man #2: Mm-hmm. Let's get outta here.
- Gordy: [running after his father] Daddy! Daddy, come back! Come home, daddy! Please daddy, come back! Daddy! Don't leave us, daddy!
- Daddy: Go back, Gordy, please, go back!
- Gordy: Daddy!
- Daddy: Go home, Gordy.
- Gordy: Daddy!
- Daddy: Remember Gordy! You promised me! Take care of the family!
- Gordy: I promise! [sniffling]
- Daddy: I love you, Gordy!
- Gordy: [tearfully] I love you! [cries] Bye!
- Jinnie Sue MacAllister: Hi there! Are you hungry? [hands Gordy's mother some lettuce] There you go. What are guys doing out here?
- Cousin Jake: Hey Jinnie Sue! Time's a-wastin', gal. Come on.
- Jinnie Sue MacAllister: Coming, Cousin Jake! Y'll take care. Bye!
The Royce Family
- Jessica (daughter)
- Luke MacAllister (son-in-law)
- Jinnie Sue (step-granddaughter)
- Hanky (grandson)
- One pig's family has been kidnapped, so he's off to the big city to find them. He's got two friends and one secret weapon...He can TALK!
- The talking pig who made it big!
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