Gravity Falls

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Gravity Falls is an American animated television series which premiered on the Disney Channel in 2012.

Season 1[edit]

Tourist Trapped[edit]

Mabel: [whispering] He's looking at it, he's looking at it!
A boy: [reading from a letter] Uhh, do you like me? Yes, definitely, absolutely?
Mabel: [whispering] I rigged it!

Mabel: Check out this huge smooch mark he gave me! [turns cheek to reveal a big red mark]
Dipper: Ah!
Mabel: Heh heh, gullible. That was just an accident with the leaf blower. [in a flashback, Mabel gets her face sucked into a leaf blower whilst trying to perform "kissing practice" on a picture of Norman] That was fun.

Grunkle Stan: And here we have "Rock That Looks Like a Face Rock"; the rock that looks like a face.
Crowd member: Does it look like a rock?
Grunkle Stan: No, it looks like a face.
Another crowd member: Is it a face?
Grunkle Stan: It's a rock that looks like a face!
[Dipper pokes in through the crowd]
Dipper: Over here! Grunkle Stan?
Grunkle Stan: For the fifth time, it's not an actual face!

Dipper: Hey, hey! Let go of my sister!
Gnome: Oh, hey there. You know, this is all really just a big misunderstanding. You see, your sister's not in any danger. She's just marrying all 1,000 of us and becoming our gnome queen for all eternity. Isn't that right, honey?
Mabel: You guys are butt-faces!

The Legend of the Gobblewonker[edit]

Dipper: Grunkle Stan, are you wearing a blindfold?
Grunkle Stan: Naw, but with these cataracts I might as well be. What is that, a woodpecker? [drives into the woods, crashes into a sign]
Dipper and Mabel: AAAHH!

[Dipper, Mabel, and Soos encounter what they think is the Gobblewonker, but is actually just a shipwreck inhabited by beavers]
Beaver 1: [subtitled] I love cavorting!
Beaver 2: [subtitled] That deserves a hug! [The two beavers hug, while another beaver slides right off]
Dipper: But, w-what was that noise there? I heard a monster noise.
[Another beaver is seen playing with a chainsaw]
Soos: Sweet! Beaver with a chainsaw!
Dipper: Maybe that old guy was crazy after all...
Mabel: He did use the word "scrabdoodle"...

[A man and woman float along the lake in their boat. The man pulls out an engagement ring.]
Reginald: Now that we're alone, Rosanna, there's a burning question which my heart longs to ask of you.
Rosanna: Oh, Reginald!
[Stan comes alongside them in his boat.]
Stan: Hey, wanna hear a joke? Okay, here goes. My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better! (Awkward silence) Her aim is gettin' better! See, it's funny, 'cause marriage is terrible! [the couple row away from him] WHAT?!


Mabel and Biker: Three, four, five, six.
Mabel: Your wife is going to be beautiful!
Biker: Yes!
Dipper: Mabel! We've got a big break in the case!
Biker: But will she love me?!

The Hand That Rocks the Mabel[edit]

Stan: For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible Sack of Mystery. When you put your money in it, it mysteriously disappears!
Various tourists: [putting money in the bag] Oh yeah! That makes perfect sense! That was totally worth the drive!

Mabel: Hey Dipper. What's going on?
Dipper: Whoa, where have you been? And what's with those nails? You look like a wolverine.
Mabel: I know, right? Rawr! I was hanging out with my new pal Gideon. He is one dapper little man!
Dipper: Mabel, I don't trust anyone whose hair is bigger than their head.
Mabel: Oh, leave him alone! You never wanna do girly stuff with me! You and Soos get to do guy stuff all the time.
Dipper: What do you mean?
Soos: Hey dude! Ready to blow up these hot dogs in the microwave one by one?
Dipper: [excited] Am I!
[Off screen]
Soos: Yeah!
Dipper: One at a time! One at a time!

[Stan goes to Gideon's house to confront him. However, Gideon's father Bud answers the door.]
Bud Gleeful: Well, well! Stanford Pines! What brings you here?
Stan: Outta the way, Bud. I'm here to talk to Gideon.
Bud Gleeful: Well, I haven't seen the boy around. But as long as you're here, you simply must come in for coffee!
Stan: I don't think...
Bud Gleeful: (cutting him off) Ah, ah, it's imported - all the way from Colombia!
Stan: Wow. I went to jail there once!

Dipper: What the heck happened on that date?
Mabel: I don't know. I was in the friend zone, and then he pulled me into the romance zone! It was like quicksand! Chubby quicksand!
Dipper: Mabel, come on, it's not like you gonna have to marry Gideon.
Stan: Good news, Mabel! You have to marry Gideon!
Mabel: WHAT?!
[Stan walks in wearing a tee shirt that says 'Team Gideon']
Stan: It's all part of my long term deal with Bud Gleeful. There's a lot of money tied up in this thing. Plus I got this free t-shirt! [Looks down] Ugh. I am fat.
[Mabel runs out screaming]
Stan: Bodies change, honey! Bodies change.

The Inconveniencing[edit]

Wendy: And Robbie. You can probably figure him out.
Robbie: Yeah, I'm the guy who spray painted the water tower.
Dipper: Oh, you mean The Big Muffin!
Robbie: Uh, it's a giant explosion.
[Said tower is shown, with a red graffiti explosion resembling a muffin]
Lee: It kinda does look like a muffin.

Wendy: [to Dipper] ...and your sister seems to be going nuts with that Smile Dip.
Mabel: [feeling sick] Uhhhhh, maybe I've had too much. What do you think?
[Mabel hallucinates into a rainbow colored candy world with the Smile Dip mascots]
Flavor Pup #1: Elknurg tsurt t'nod!('Don't trust Grunkle' backwards)
Flavor Pup #2: Would you like to eat my candy paws?
Mabel: Of course, you little angel! [starts chewing on the paw]

Ma: Back when we were alive, teenagers were a scourge on our store!
Pa: Always sassafrassing customers with their boomy-boxes and disrespectful short pants! So we decided to up and ban them. But they retaliated with their newfangled rap music.
Ma: The lyrics...they were so hateful!

[A rap song blares from a boom box.]

Rapper: Homework's whack, and so are rules! Tucking in your shirt's for fools!

TV Announcer: You're watching the Black-and-White-Period-Piece-Old-Lady-Boring-Movie Channel.
Grunkle Stan: Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!
TV Announcer: Stay tuned for the Friday Night Movie, "The Duchess Approves", starring Sturly Stempleburgess as 'The Duchess', and Grampton St. Rumpterfrabble as irascible coxswain Saunterblugget Hampterfuppinshire.
Grunkle Stan: [terrified] KIDS!

Dipper vs. Manliness[edit]

Testosteraur: Not man enough? NOT MAN ENOUGH?! I have three Y chromosomes, six adams apples, pecs on my abs, and FISTS FOR NIPPLES!

Mabel: No offense, Dipper, but you're not exactly Manly Mannington!
Dipper: I am too Manly...Manny, or whatever it is you said.
Stan: Face the music, kid. You got no muscles, you smell like baby wipes, and let's not forget last Tuesday's...incident.
[Flashback: Dipper is in the bathroom, in a towel, looking into the mirror and singing into his comb like a microphone]
Dipper: Disco girl...comin' through...that girl is you! [Stan opens the bathroom door] DON'T COME IN, DON'T COME IN!
[End flashback]
Mabel: [grinning] You were listening to girly Icelandic pop sensation BABBA?!
Dipper: No, I wasn't-- It's not important!

Sheriff Blubbs: Another fire hydrant destroyed. It's a gosh-dang mystery!
Deputy Derland: Wanna take our uniforms off and run around in circles?
[Sheriff Blubbs' shirt is already off.]
Sheriff Blubbs: Quit readin' my mind!

Lazy Susan: (serving Stan and Mabel) Food!
Stan: Thanks there, sugar pot. I-I mean honey wasp, kitten baby, b-baby cow.
Lazy Susan: Ha! Silly.. silly man...
Mabel: What was that about?
Stan: Nothing. I don't want to talk about it. Talk about what? Why is this table wet?

Mabel: Grunkle Stan, you are a cranky, gross, weird old man. But we're gonna get Lazy Susan to like you, because nothing is stronger than the power of...
Stan: Love?
Mabel: ...Mabel!

[Dipper confronts the Multibear.]
Multibear: Child, why have you come here?
Dipper: Multibear, I seek your head! Or, one of them, anyway. There's like...six? Six heads?

Irrational Treasure[edit]

(Dipper and Mabel go off to enjoy Pioneer Day)
Dipper: Care to join us, Grunkle Stan?
Stan: No thank you! Just remember: if you two come back to the Shack talking like these people, you're dead to me!
Dipper: (In an old-timey accent) There's a carpetbagger in the turnip cellar!
Mabel: (Likewise) Well, hornswaggle my haversack!
(They spit on the ground and run off, laughing)

(Stan attempts to drive away, but his car is stuck in the mud. He calls out to a man who is walking with a donkey.)
Stan: Hey you! Uh, Donkey Boy! Give me a hand with my car, will ya?
Man: Here in 1863, I have never heard tell of a "car." Tell me, what is this magic wheel-box?
Stan: C'mon, Steve, you're a mechanic for Pete' sake! Cut me some slack!
Man: "Slack?" I am unfamiliar with this bold new expression!
Stan: I can't take it anymore. (grabbing the man by the collar) I'm getting dumber every second I'm here!
(Sheriff Blubbs and Deputy Derland run over, batons drawn)
Blubbs: Are we gonna have to intervene here?
Stan: Oh, look. The "constable!" What are you gonna do? Throw me in "ye stocks?" (laughs)
(Cut to Stan being locked in the stocks)
Stan: Oh, come on!

Dipper: We're gonna have to break in.
Museum Lady: And here are your balloons; blue and pink!
Dipper: We're in.

Man on Film: If you're watching this, you are one of eight people in these United States with clearance to view this information. In fact, I myself will be shot once the filming is complete. (Someone speaks offscreen.) What? No? Ha! Well, that's a relief!

Quentin Trembly: ...And then he chased me around with a paddle for like, three hours! Bottom line: George Washington was a jerk.
Mabel: Agreed!

Quentin Trembly: Esteemed gentlemen of the United States Supreme Court, I urge you to reconsider your decision!
(Several babies in top hats and fake mustaches coo in response.)
Quentin Trembly: Very well. But who would you have replace me?
Baby: Mama!
Quentin Trembly: That old crone?!


The Time Traveller's Pig[edit]

Mabel: He is such a jerk.
Dipper: Yeah, but he's a jerk with tight pants and a guitar. I need to keep him away from Wendy at all costs.
Mabel: Don't worry, brother. Whatever happens, I'll be right here, supporting you every step of the- [screaming] OH MY GOSH, A PIG!

Dipper: Wendy, I just wanted to tell you that everyone makes mistakes. And when they do, you should forgive them. And also that tight pants are overrated.
Wendy: Dude. You lost me.
Dipper: [sighs] I know.

Fight Fighters[edit]

Rumble McSkirmish: I am ready to take on the greatest Fight Fighters! Take me to the Soviet Union!
Dipper: Uh, that's gonna be tough. For a number of reasons.

Teenager: [is handed keys to a new car] I love you, Dad!
[Rumble McSkirmish runs by and smashes the car]
Teenager: Oh, my car!
Father: We'll just buy another one!
Teenager: I love being rich...

Rumble McSkirmish: Haha! You fight like a girl! Who is also a baby!

Dipper: We need to just learn to hate each other in silence.
Robbie: You mean, like...what girls do?

Rumble McSkirmish: Dr. Karate! You killed my father again!
Dr. Karate: Hnnnnggggghhh!
Rumble McSkirmish: You take that baaaaaack!

Rumble McSkirmish: Did he kill your father?
Dipper: Well, he's dating the girl I like, and he posts a really annoying amount of status updates.
Rumble McSkirmish: And then he killed your father!

Rumble McSkirmish: How could you laugh when you killed this boys father?
Robbie: Wait, what?

Dipper: I have a confession to make. Robbie...didn't kill my father.
Rumble McSkirmish: What? Then who did?

Little Dipper[edit]

Gideon: Why Mabel, I wouldn't hurt a hair on your itty-bitty head. If you agree to be my queen!
Mabel: NO! Never! I will fight you till the day I- [Stops talking and looks below] Gummy Koalas! [is dropped into bag, nibbles gummy koala]

Gideon: [about Dipper and Mabel] I have them in my possession! You don't believe me?! I'll text you a photo!
Stan "Text me a photo"? Now you're not even speaking English!


Soos: What's up, Gordy?
Gordy: I've been twamatized.

Soos: What's going on out here, dudes? I heard a ruckus. Heh-heh, that's a funny word. "Ruckus.

Mabel: I'm so excited!
Dipper: We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy...
Mabel: And have the biggest stomach aches ever!
Dipper: Yeah!

Boss Mabel[edit]

Stan: No buts except yours out the door. now shut your yap and get to work.
Mabel: Grunkle Stan, whatever happened to please and thank you? Hmmm. Oh wait here they are.

(Mabel takes out a bag of stickers and puts two on Stan's face that say "Please" and "Thank you")

Stan: [After a wave of cash washes over him on "Cash Wheel."] I'm giving none of this to charity!

Bottomless Pit![edit]

Soos: I've got a story. It's called, "Soos's Really Great Pinball Story!" (pause) Is that a good title? Do they have to be, like, puns or whatever?
[Cut to title card reading: "SOOS' REALLY GREAT PINBALL STORY! Is That A Good Title? Do They Have To Be, Like, Puns Or Whatever?"]

The Deep End[edit]

Toby Determined: On the bright side, pun very much intended, it's opening day at the Gravity Falls pool!
Mabel: Gravity Falls pool?!
Dipper: Today?!
Soos: Pun intended?!

Mabel: Ah, the pool! Sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!
Stan: Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's like the bus but wet.
Dipper: [looking at a towel with a sun wearing sunglasses on it] Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?
Soos: It's best not to think about it.

Mermando: Hola!
Mabel: Whoa! Are you from Australia?

Kid: How long ya in for?
Stan: Two hours for roughhousing. But I'm innocent!
Kid 2: Pool jail ain't so bad. As long as you don't end up in solitary.
Solitary confinement kid: It's the nights that are the hardest.

Mabel: Hey, I brought you a sandwich! It's kind of wet, but it's still good! I like sharing things. Sandwiches, secrets... [whispers] share your secret, beautiful stranger.

Stan: There it is, Soos. Equal distance from the snack bar and the bathroom. Just the right amount of sun and shade. And pointed away from where Old Man McGuckett lotions himself. The perfect lawn chair!
Soos: The legends you told me in the car were true!

Mabel: I should've known from your strange foreign fish language!
Mermando: It is Spanish.

Stan: Yes, yes...burn the child!

Gideon: Deal with it!

[Wendy and Dipper prank Soos]
Wendy: Soos!
Soos: Inflatable duck guy? Is that you?
Wendy: Yes, Soos!
Soos: I knew you guys were secretly alive! I knew it!
Wendy: My people have been enslaved, Soos! You must free us!
Soos: The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand...

[Mabel puckers her lips in preparation for a kiss]
Mermando: What are you doing with your mouth.
Mabel: Me? Nothing. This? I was just eating some sour my lips did that...because the candy was so sour.
Mermando: Can I have some candy?
Mabel: .... No.

Mermando: I have never met anyone like you.
Mabel: Me too. Except for a zombie, a gnome, and a couple of cute vampires.
Dipper: I don't remember the vampires.
Mabel: I don't tell you everything!

Dipper: Mabel? Is everyone here tonight?! What, is Soos here too?!
Soos: [Falls off of the fence in the background.] I'm okay!
Dipper: Go home, Soos.
Soos: You got it!

Mabel: Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch of fish sticks to make prosthetic pair of people legs.
Mermando: Intriguing...

Dipper: Mabel, if you don't hand over those pool supplies, I'll lose the coolest job ever!
Mabel: Okay...I understand. [Trying to distract Dipper] Hey, look! Wendy in a bikini!
Dipper: [Falls for it] Really? At night?

Stan: Now all I've got to do is wait here 15 hours until the pool opens.... This was a good plan.

Mabel: Dipper, you're a lifeguard! Give him CPR!
Dipper: Mermen don't breathe air!
Mabel: Then give him reverse CPR, doi!
Dipper: [Repeatedly fills his mouth with water and spits it into Mermando's] I hate this... I hate this...
Mabel: [Takes a picture of Dipper and Mermando with their lips together] Haha... blackmail!
[Mermando sits up, able to breathe again.]
Mermando: Thank you for saving me, but why didn't you just roll me into the lake?
[Shot widens to reveal them sitting a few feet away from the edge of the lake]
Dipper: Agh!

Carpet Diem[edit]

Dipper: Alright, let a pro on the field. Or floor...whatever.

[Dipper hits the golf ball, causing it to break some things, and it ends up crashing through a window.]


Dipper: Soos, can I sleep in your break room tonight?
Soos: Sure, dude. [Opens door to reveal small room full of pipes.] You just gotta make your body go like a video game puzzle block. The trick is to hold perfectly still. [Repeatedly burns arm on pipe.] Ow! Wait, wait! Ow! Wait, wait! Ow! Wait, wait! Actually felt kind of good that time...

Dipper: Ah, sleeping under the stars. Not bad. [Dipper sees a wolf chewing on his leg.] Ah, get off! Get away! [Camera compares Mabel's sleepover to Dipper been chewed on by a wolf.] This is still better.

Candy: Candy falls down now!

Mabel: Get ready to be poked by the fun stick! Boop!
Dipper: Ow!

Stan: [Watching TV, Stan says this to three different shows; two men, two deer, and two babies.] Fight, fight, fight!
Announcer: Baby fights! Will return in a minute.
Stan: TV. It knows what I want.

Stan: Man, that's refreshing! Ten suck-up points to this lemonade. [In high-pitched voice] Thank you, Stan[Normal] Ten more for politeness! Oh, and so sweet!

Mabel: Don't get too comfortable, brother. I just made Stan an omelet shaped like his own face!
Stan: I have seen the face of beauty!

Dipper: [In Mabel's body] Braces are horrible! It's like my mouth hates me!

Mabel: [In Dipper's body] Hey, Grunkle Stan! Your face looks like a butt!
Stan: What?!
Mabel: Breaking stuff is so much fun, I am Dipper and I stink!

Grenda: 3, 4, 5. [Phone rings.] It's him, my dream date! Hello?
Robot Voice: Hello baby, this is Kevin. My beach house has room for 2.
Candy: Kevin has the voice of a robot.
Grenda: Don't ruin this for me, Candy!

Candy: Kevin, for the last time, I am not interested!
Grenda: How could you say that to Kevin?

Stan: Look, times are tough, the economy or whatever, et cetera. Bottom line is...I'm going to have to cut your pay.
Waddles in Soos's Body: [Breathes creepily and puts hand on Stan's face.]
Stan: What are you doing?
Waddles: [Breathes eerily]
Stan: Is this some kind of negotiating tactic? Because it's not going to work!
Waddles: [Continues breathing creepily as the camera zooms in on him]
Stan: Alright, I was lying, I'll give you a raise, just never do that again!

Candy: Zap zap!

(touches Dipper, swapping their minds)

Candy: I am a boy now! (deeper voice) Wassup bro. Let's grow some mustaches!

Boy Crazy[edit]

Stan: (to Robbie) Well if it makes you feel better, the apocalypse is comin' soon! Bury your gold. You've been buying gold, right?

Stan: Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face!

Stan: Wait a second! Is something rooting through our trash? [Cuts to Sev'ral Times member rooting through the trash can.] Hey, hey! Get outta here! Darn beautiful men always eating out of my trash. Wait what?

Land Before Swine[edit]

[From the "Huggy Wuvvy Tummy Bundle" commercial.]
Bobby Renzobbi: I know what you're thinkin': does it work for pigs? Haha, yeah, it does work for pigs, stupid! Feel your pig's heartbeat next to yours! IT WORKS FOR PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGS!!!

[Waddles chews on Stan's pant leg.]
Mabel: Go, go! Chew that pant leg!
[Stan tears his pant leg free.]
Stan: All right, that tears it. Outside, now!
Mabel: Grunkle Stan, no! You can't put Waddles outside. There's predators! And barbecuers!
Stan: That's just the natural order. It's not my fault your pig's potentially delicious!
Mabel: He should be inside like a person.
Stan: People don't roll around in their own filth - except for Soos.
Mabel: And we're the lesser for it!

Mabel: Grunkle Stan, I know you're not crazy about Waddles...
Stan: He's a fat, naked jerk!

[Mabel discovers Waddles is missing.]
Mabel: Waddles! Waddles! Oh, no! How did this happen?! Grunkle Stan, you didn't put him outside?
Stan: What? No, I didn't put him anywhere! I'm not acting suspicious! You're acting suspicious! What's a pig?!


Dipper: Get ready, you guys. We're about to journey into the most disturbing, horrifying place imaginable - our uncle's mind!
Soos: You think it would be okay to bring these Burrito Bites into Stan's brain? Thumbs up? Thumbs down? You know what, I'm just gonna bring 'em.
  • (Mabel after she sees Grunkle Stan playing with his belly button)"Sweet Sally!"

TV announcer: He put the "old" in "Old West." They call him..."Grandpa the Kid!"
Grandpa the Kid: I'm tired during the day.
Stan: I can relate to this!

Grunkle Stan: [in a flashback] Sir, would you like to buy a Stan-Vac vacuum? Stan-Vac: it sucks more than anything!
[The customer slams the door on Stan]
Grunkle Stan: ...Gotta work on that.

Bill Cipher: I gotta hand it to you kids. You're a lot more clever than I gave you credit for. Especially the fat one.
Soos: (whispering to Mabel) He's talking about you...
Bill Cipher: So I'm gonna let you off the hook this time. BUT KNOW THIS! A darkness approaches. A time is coming in the future where everything you care about will change. Until then, I'll be watching you!

Gideon Rises[edit]

[Jeff the Gnome is bathing in a tub full of squirrels.]
Jeff: This is normal. This is normal for gnomes. (Scrubbing his armpit with one of the squirrels.) Scrub, scrub.

[Dipper and Mabel try to trick Jeff the Gnome into marrying Gideon.]
Mabel: What if we told you we could find you a new queen? One even more beautiful than me!
Dipper: Her name is Gideon, and she has lovely white hair!
Jeff: Hmmm, mature woman, huh? Shmebulock! Get my cologne!
[Shmebulock jumps out from behind a tree, cologne in hand.]
Shmebulock: Shmebulock!
Jeff: Is "Shmebulock" all you can say?
Shmebulock: (nodding "yes") Shmebulock...

Grunkle Stan: Well Stan, this is it. Rock bottom, no friends, no family, stuck watching infomercials for whatever that is...
Announcer: Are you sick of piles of owls constantly blocking your driveway?! Well then you gotta get Owl Trowel!

[Gideon finds Dipper's journal.]
Dipper: Gimme that back or I'll...
Gideon: Or you'll what, boy? You'll what? Huh? Huh!? No muscles, no brains - face it, you're nothin' without this!

Stan: Watier, give me a glass of the cheapest, most expired apple cider you've got.
Soos: Right away, Mr. Pines!
Stan: Soos? What are you doing here?
Soos: Ever since the Mystery Shack closed, I've had to take a bunch of part-time jobs - grave digger, bus driver, really awsome cook. Is the kitchen supposed to have that much fire in it?
[The kitchen is, in fact, ablaze. Soos runs off with a fire extinguisher.]
Stan: You're a good man..child, Soos. But it's not looking good. The whole town loves Gideon and hates me. If only they knew how evil he really was!
Soos: [putting his arm around Stan] Hey, I'm here for you, dude!
Stan: The entire lower half of your body is on fire.
Soos: Shhh...we're having a moment.

Season 2[edit]


Stan: Welcome to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack! We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk Li'l Gideon.
Crowd: Booooooo!
Stan: Please, please. Boo harder!

Agent Powers: My name is Agent Powers, and this is Agent Trigger. We're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town.
Agent Trigger: (pointing at Stan) Activity!
Stan: "Mysterious activity?" At the Mystery Shack? You must be joking!
Agent Powers: I assure you, I am not. I was born with a rare disorder that prevents me from experiencing humor.
Stan: (laughs nervously)
Agent Powers: I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth.

Mabel: This karaoke machine has all the best songs - "We Built This Township on Rock and Roll," "Danger Lane to Highway Town," *gasp* "Taking Over Midnight" by &DRA! (pronounced: "Ampersandra")
Stan: Listen kid, you do not want to hear this voice sing. Trust me.
Mabel: Grunkle Stan, karaoke isn't about sounding good. It's about sounding terrible together.

Mabel: Dipper, what is the ONE thing I asked you NOT to do tonight?
Dipper: Raise the dead.
Mabel: And what did you do?
Dipper: Raise the dead.

Soos: (After becoming a zombie) Okay, gonna flip the script here. Can I, eat your brains? Yea or nay? Seein' some yea faces here...

Into The Bunker[edit]

(Dipper and Wendy watch a cheesy old horror film)
Girl: What do we do, Chadley? I thought they were dead!
Boy: Far worse, Trixandra! They're nearly almost dead, but not quite!
Dipper: Man, these movies are a lot less scary when you've actually fought real zombies.
Wendy: They're slow! Just power-walk away from them!
(On the TV...)
Chadley: Ahhh! My face is being eaten a lot!
(Dipper and Wendy laugh)
Wendy: Chadley ain't pretty no more!

(Mabel and Soos wait for Wendy and Dipper to emerge from another room)
Mabel: They sure are taking their time in there.
Soos: Didn't Dipper say something about a monster?
Mabel: Oh, no! I thought he was joking!
Soos: You KNOW Dipper's jokes are terrible!

(After Dipper, Mabel, Wendy and Soos trap the Shape Shifter back in the freezer)
Shape Shifter: You think you're so clever, don't you, Dipper? But you have no idea what you're up against. You will never find the author! If you keep digging, you'll meet a fate worse than you can imagine - and this will be the last form you ever take!
(It turns into Dipper and does a terrified scream, becoming frozen in that shape; Dipper, Mabel and Wendy look shocked)
Soos: (to Dipper, chuckling) Good luck sleeping tonight!

The Golf War[edit]

Stan: Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they've probably got some of my hair in them.
Dipper: Pass.

Mr. Northwest: Now remember, Pacifica, winning is everything.
Mrs. Northwest: Oh, and looks. Winning and looks.
Pacifica: Dad, I've been practicing for, like, a million hours. I got this. You'll stay and watch, right?
Mr. Northwest: Pacifica, darling, we have a party to go to. We'll just read about your victory in the paper.
(Pacifica gets out of the car)
Mr. Northwest: Oh, and whatever happens, just remember one thing. You're a Northwest. Don't lose.
(They drive away)

Pacifica: Tell your servant I like his W neck.
Soos: YES!

Sock Opera[edit]

Bill: Did you miss me? Admit it you missed me. ——————————————————————————

Soos and the Real Girl[edit]

[a "Year 2000 Electronics" title screen is shown]
Soos: Man, I can't wait for the year 2000! [reads the intro text] "When the cherry petals of magic romance academy are in bloom... anthyding can hadplen." That is so true.

Giffany: Hi there,

External links[edit]

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