Hawaii Five-0

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For quotes from the original series from 1968-1980, see Hawaii Five-O.

Hawaii Five-0 is a police procedural television series which premiered in 2010 on CBS. It is a reimagining of the original Hawaii Five-O.


Season 1[edit]

Pilot [1.1][edit]

McGarrett: I've been tracking Victor Hesse for five years. If he were bold enough to surface, I promise you he already has an exit strategy planned, and he knows I know it, which means I can barely afford the hour it's going to take to bury my father, let alone stand here talking to you. Excuse me.
Governor Patricia Jameson: I can help you find this son of a bitch, with full immunity and means. Your task force will have blanket authority to go after guys like Hesse and get them the Hell off my island. Your rules, my backing, no red tape. I promise you, Commander. What you see is what you get.

McGarrett: Your captain said you transferred in from New Jersey six months ago, so your eye’s still fresh.
Danny: You know, I appreciate it, but my psych eval’s not for six weeks.
McGarrett: Fold-out bed, no ring on your finger—you obviously moved here to be close to your daughter. Which means in between visits, all you got is your job, and you take pride in it. That’s what I’m looking for.
Danny: Yeah, but you know what? It’s guys like you who think you know how to do everything better, and that only makes my job harder.
McGarrett: You got no choice, detective. The governor gave me jurisdiction; I’m making you my partner. We’re gonna get along great.

Chin: Look, I can't be a cop anymore.
McGarrett: Why not?
Chin: Because I can't be! You understand? HPD accused me of taking payoffs, so I'm the last person the department wants to see wearing a badge. I've gotta go.
Danny: This is going really well.
McGarrett: Did you take the money?
Chin: Excuse me?
McGarrett: [more directly] Did you take the money?
Chin: No.
McGarrett: Then come with us. And we don't need to talk about this again. Ever. This is your ticket back into the game. Call it payback, call it whatever you want, I don't care, but I need you.
Chin: How do you know you can trust me?
McGarrett: Because my old man did.

[interrogating Sang Min]
McGarrett: You're going to jail. That part's not up for negotiation; your family is about to lose a husband and a father. In my eyes, now they're your victims, too. The trouble is, the law doesn't see it that way. Your wife, she's from Rwanda. She'll be sent back; they both will. If they're lucky, they'll make it to a refugee camp. And your son... seven is old enough to hold a gun for the Hutu militia. I can prevent all that, but I don't help people who don't help me.
Sang Min: What kind of cops are you?
McGarrett: The new kind.

McGarrett: Tell the Coast Guard to find that body.
Danny: What do you want me to do with this one?
McGarrett: Book 'em, Danno.

Ohana [1.2][edit]

Danny: If the suspect dies, he loses the ability to speak—ergo, he’s useless to us!
McGarrett: "Ergo"?

McGarrett: Book ’im, Danno.
Danny: Really? Is this gonna be your thing?

Malama Ka Aina [1.3][edit]

Danny: What’s that look?
Steve: What look?
Danny: The look. The look you give me when you don’t tell me what you’re thinking, and the next thing I know I’m getting shot at.

[watching a video of one of McGarrett's high school football games]
Chin Ho: Your dad couldn't stop screaming.
Steve: You were there with my dad?
Chin: Yeah. I was fresh out of the academy, he was my training officer. I'll tell you, any day that Steve McGarrett was starting at quarterback was an official day off.
Danny: I got one question. What’s a quarterback doing wearing the number fifty?
McGarrett: Five-0.
Danny: Yeah.
McGarrett: No, it’s not fifty, it’s five-0. It’s what my dad used to call our family, because we weren’t native Hawaiian. Five-0. I don’t know; it was his way of making us feel like we belonged somewhere I guess.
Kono: I like that. Five-0.

Lanakila [1.4][edit]

McGarrett: You saying I’m not cool?
Danny: In certain situations. Like when you’ve got a gun pointed in your face, or you’re trying to decide whether to cut the red wire or the blue wire. But actual human interaction, mammal-to-mammal, you could use some work.
McGarrett: Thanks, Dr. Phil.

Danny: [to waitress] I like pancakes in the afternoon. You like pancakes?
McGarrett: I like pancakes.
Danny: Really? You seem like more of a napalm in the morning kind of guy.
McGarrett: That too.

[McGarrett is playing basketball with a prison inmate to get information on a suspect.]
Danny: [to McGarrett] So you know, the other guy getting the ball in the hoop—that’s bad.
McGarrett: Hey, Danno, shut up.
Danny: Do me a favor, don’t call me Danno, okay?
Prison Inmate: How long you two been married?

Nalowale [1.5][edit]

McGarrett: You don’t think I’m a happy person?
Danny: I’m sure you have your moments. Like when Guns & Ammo puts out its holiday gift guide, or a Rambo retrospective comes on TV.

[While meeting Gov Jameson, the Five-0 team hears piano playing coming from the morgue.)
Gov. Jameson: [wearily] That’s right, you haven’t met Dr. Bergman yet.

[as McGarrett brings up the security camera feed from the club]
Danny: They teach you that in SEAL school?
McGarrett: Yeah, it’s called the using the Internet. People have been doing it since the early ’90s. You might wanna look into it.
Danny: I guess I was still playing Ms. Pac-Man.
McGarrett: Yeah? You ever get to the double pretzel level?
Danny: Triple banana, bitch.
McGarrett: You’re a liar.

Ko'olauloa [1.6][edit]

Chin: [to Kono] Part of doing the job is knowing when you’re not the one to do the job.

McGarrett: There’s an easy way to do things on this island and a hard way. Talking to Kawika before we go after Levi and Diego is the easy way.
Danny: What’s throwing a guy in a shark tank or hanging a guy off a roof?
McGarrett: Those guys were from out of town.
Danny: You are a sick person you know that?
McGarrett: In the best possible way, right?
Danny: No! No, not in the best possible way! In a very terrible way! That wasn't a compliment, you understand?

Diego: We were with our PO.
Danny: Oh yeah?
Diego: You can call him.
Danny: I’m gonna call him, and you’re gonna sit right here while I do, and if he doesn’t vouch for you, we’re gonna get a lot less friendly. [about McGarrett] Well, he will; I’m always cordial.

[McGarrett drives; Danno hangs on for dear life.]
Danny: O-kay, I got a daughter…!
McGarrett: Don’t worry, I know these roads.
Danny: This is not a road! A road has asphalt and two lanes! This is dirt on a cliff!
McGarrett: You scared?
Danny: I’m not scared; I’m rationally concerned.

Ho'apono [1.7][edit]

Danny: I mean, I’m no detective—Wait a minute, where am I? Oh, I’m a detective!

Kono: I’ll go find out if the daughter saw anything. I mean, I’m the woman, so you’d probably ask me to do it anyway.
Danny: No, it’s not because you’re a woman, it’s because you’re a rookie, and that’s way worse.

[as McGarrett prepares to swim to the ship]
Danny: Good luck, Aquaman!

Steve: He's armed. He's holding seven hostages, behavior's pretty erratic.
Danny: Oh, you mean opposed to most hostage takers that are calm and composed?

McGarrett: I thought I told you to stay put.
Ed McKay: I’m an old man. I don’t hear so good.

Mana'o [1.8][edit]

Steve: [after listening to Danny rant and rave angrily and loudly] [deadpan] I'm so glad you're not a hothead. I would hate to work with someone like that.

[Steve and Danny are undercover as art collectors and see two security guards in the room]
Danny: So, uh, just a question. If things go bad which one of these guys do you want?
Steve: I'll take the ugly one.
Danny: Oh, that's good. The both of them.

[Danny has the suspect tied to the front of his car and is driving haphazardly through the streets.]
Steve: Just for the record. If I pulled something like this, you would be reading me the Riot Act about proper police procedure.
Danny: No. I'd probably just arrest you.
[The suspect is banging the windshield and screaming.]
Steve: Compared to this, hanging a guy off a roof and throwing a guy into a shark cage seems pretty tame.
Danny: You know what, I disagree. I think the shark cage is way worse than this.
Steve: Whatever. You're wrong. I'm just saying, to be clear, next time I get a free pass, ok?

Danny: You look horrible, Sang Min.
Sang Min: Been in solitary for thirty days. What's your excuse?
Danny: Must be all the sunshine I'm getting on the outside.

Steve: I came to ask you a question.
Danny: Well, if it’s about the prom, I’m flattered, but I already have a date.

Po'ipu [1.9][edit]

Laura Hills: You are to find Atwater's killer and assist in protecting General Pak and his family when they arrive.
Steve: I'm sorry, did you say "assist"? Who am I assisting? Uh, this is–– [sees his former SEAL buddy Nick Taylor] No way! What's up, bullfrog? [exchanges a hug with Nick]
Nick Taylor: Smooth dog.
Steve: Been a while.
Nick: It's been a long time, man.
Steve: [to Danny] Uh, Nick, Nick served under me in the SEALs.
Nick: Did three years in the 'Stan.
Danny: The 'Stan? What is the 'Stan?
Steve: Afghanistan.
Laura: They hired Nick's firm to protect General Pak and his family.
Steve: Of course they did.
Danny: Wow. So you got genocide, ethnic cleansing. It's a great client you got.
Nick: Well, you know, my team and I are here to do a job, just like you.
Danny: No, no, not-not just like me. See, I'm a cop. I don't get to choose who I protect. You do, and you choose this animal, and I'm sure our pay grades, our rates are a little different.

Steve: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around food?
Danny: Do you realize how much of your life revolves around armed conflict?

Steve: Where do people from New Jersey vacation?
Danny: Um, I don't know. I-I would imagine they vacation all over the place.
Steve: Okay. And you're you're aware the fact that perhaps many people from New Jersey vacation here in Hawaii?
Danny: I'm sure some misguided people do, sure, yeah.
Steve: Okay, good. And how many Hawaiians do you think vacation in New Jersey?
Danny: I don't know.
Steve: I can help you with that answer if you want. The answer is zero, Danny, because nobody here, except you, wants to be there, okay? Because aside from a couple of great singers, New Jersey doesn't exactly scream––
Danny: [interrupts] Oh, oh..Whoa, a few great singers?!! Sinatra, Springsteen...
Steve: Right.
Danny: A few great sing––Jon Bon Jovi.
Steve: I'm sorry, Bon Jovi?!
Danny: Absolutely Bon Jovi.
Steve: You serious?
Danny: He's right up there. "You Give Love a Bad Name", "Wanted Dead or Alive"...
Steve: Now you're giving me song titles.
Danny: I'm giving you classic song titles!

Danny: I thought you guys were Navy SEALs?
Steve: When you have certain specialties, you can be recruited into different units as needed.
Danny: Are you gonna answer any one of my questions?
Steve: What do you want to know?
Danny: What was his specialty?
Steve: It's classified information, Danny.
Danny: Okay. What was your specialty?
Steve: I can't tell you that either.
Danny: Okay, please, you have done this before. Where was that? When exactly was that?
Steve: [looks around uncomfortably] I worked the other side.
Danny: The other side's a sniper rifle. Was that your specialty?
[Steve does not reply and instead half-smiles at Danny]

Danny: [about Nick and Steve using military terms and CIA agency code words] Nick, can you just do me a favor and just stop? All right? From now on, the Company is the CIA. Right? The mechanic is the assassin, and please, let's stop referring to what you people do as "the community." You're not a community. The Amish people, they have a community. Let's just say what things are, please?

Nick: [about the suspected murderer] Next time she appeared on the Agency's radar she was a gun for hire with no loyalty to any government or organization.
Danny: Oh, good, maybe we can hire her to kill herself.

Heihei [1.10][edit]

Danny: Where’ve you been? I’ve been calling you like you owe me money.
Steve: What are you talking about? I didn't hear my phone.
Danny: Called you like five, six times.
Steve: I believe you. I didn't hear my phone, I left it right over here. [points to where Kamekona is sitting] Where's my phone? You see my phone?
Kamekona: [pulls Steve's cellphone from under his butt] Oh. Oh sorry.
Danny: You didn't feel that vibrating? Ever?
Kamekona: Oh, that's what it was.

[The GPS leads the Five-O team to the harbor]
Kono: Anyone up for a swim?
Chin: Ah, forgot to bring my board shorts.
Danny: Looks like the rookie is going swimming.
Steve: I'll go in with you.
Danny: Very nice of you.
Steve: Sure you don't want to come for a swim?
Danny: No, you go ahead, uh with your pants. I'll just be here with a dry towel.

Danny: It takes a very specific type of psycho to jack an armored truck. You've got guys with vests, guns already drawn.
Steve: Yeah, maybe they get a rush from it.
Danny: Psychos.

Danny: What are the odds, huh? Guy gets a bullet in the dome, goes through four hours of brain surgery, and he survives, yet 150 people die every year from falling coconuts. It's a fact. I read it online.
Steve: What, so now you're not going to let Grace go near coconut trees?
Danny: Not without a helmet, I'm not.

Palekaiko [1.11][edit]

Danny: [about McGarrett] His idea of communication is dropping a witty one-liner and shooting you in the face.

Danny: [to Miller] Look at all these pictures. What are you, a stalkerazzi or something?

Miller: I’m not saying anything else without my counsel here. If you want to ask me any more questions, you’re gonna have to book me.
Danny: [sees McGarrett brighten up and look at him] Do not say it.

McGarrett: Take that tie off. No one on a cruise ship wears a tie.
Danny: Yes, they do. They do all the time, so they can hang themselves when they’re bored.
McGarrett: Well, put it in your pocket. You can kill yourself later.

Kono: So you deal with dead bodies all day, and your hobby is dead bodies?
Dr. Bergman: I also make pickles. It’s a good way to reuse specimen jars.

Hana 'a'a Makehewa [1.12][edit]

Danny: Can I ask you a question? Why are you always driving my car?
McGarrett: I like to drive.
Danny: No, Rain Man liked to drive. You have control issues.

Danny: My tree is small. It’s depressing. It’s pathetic.
McGarrett: It’s perfect. It’s just like your apartment.

[looking at the bullets extracted from Victor Hesse]
Chin: You put two of those in Hesse and didn’t kill him?
Danny: Next time, shoot him in the face.

Ke Kinohi [1.13][edit]

Danny: [hands Steve an ice pack] Ice, for your head.
Steve: I'm fine.
Danny: Don't be a tough guy, okay? I've been popped with a stun gun before, it's no fun. Ice helps.
Kono: [curiously] You've been stun gunned?
Danny: Yes, I've been stunned. Hoboken, Halloween '02. It's a long story I don't want to tell you right now. [turns back to Steve] How many guys were there?
Steve: Three.
Danny: Three. Okay, good, 'cause I was wondering how one little burglar comes in and takes advantage of a Navy SEAL.

[Steve is frantically calling his sister Mary but she is not answering]
Steve: Something's wrong.
Danny: Do me a favor, please. Will you not go there? Okay? You don't know anything. Maybe she went out last night. Maybe she got a little goofy, she's sleeping it off. And let me be honest about something, if, first thing in the morning, I see your face pop on my phone, I might not answer it either.

Steve: Mamo lived in our old neighborhood when Mary and I were just kids. He's the one who taught us how to surf. Guy's been a beach boy since the days of Duke Kahanamoku.
Danny: Beach Boy, huh? You know, I've heard of, um, Mike Love, Brian Wilson, but I've never heard of Mamo the Beach Boy.
Steve: Yeah, different beach boys, Danny. They were locals who set up shop in Waikiki to teach people how to surf.

[after McGarrett tells Governor Jameson that her biggest supporter is a Yakuza boss]
Gov. Jameson: [wearily] Is there any beer around here?
McGarrett: What?
Jameson: I have never known a Navy man who couldn’t find a lady a beer.

Steve: You know, I never would've left the Island, I never would've joined the Navy or missed every holiday, every birthday, half of Mary's life. The day that car exploded, it made me who I am. Danny, I can't just let it go.
Danny: I'm not asking you to let it go. I want to get these guys as bad as you do.

He Kane Hewa'ole [1.14][edit]

Danny: Hey, it’s the CHiPs! Remember CHiPs?
Steve: Of course I remember CHiPs. I always thought that’d be the coolest job—you know, riding motorcycles, fighting crime…
Danny: No, no, motorcycle cops have a five-times-higher mortality rate than other cops.
Steve: It’s a cop fantasy, Danny; why do you gotta bring statistics into it?
Danny: Cop fantasy... In my cop fantasy, I’d be Estrada, and you’d be Wilcox.
Steve: I don't think so, baby.

[while following a suspect]
Danny: Hey, not so close, Wilcox.
Steve: Don’t tell me how to tail a suspect. And if this was CHiPs, I’d be Estrada, you’d be Wilcox, all right?
Danny: I don't think so.

Steve: So what about Han-Chi? Where does he fit in all this?
Nicole: Who?
Danny: "Who"? What are you, an owl?

[After closing the case, Steve and Danny are watching CHiPs in the office.]
Danny: Estrada was a bad bitch, man.
Steve: Yup. That's why there's no way.
Danny: Wait a minute. Why can't I be Estrada?
Steve: In a world where I didn't exist, you could be whatever you want.
Danny: That world sounds lovely.

Kai e'e [1.15][edit]

[Danny finds out that Steve has found someone to babysit Grace and it turns out to be Kamekona]
Kamekona: Howzit, bruddah? I hear you got a high-priority assignment for me.
Danny: High-pri––Yeah. [looks at Steve] Are you sure this is a good idea?
Steve: He looked after my sister.
Danny: Yeah, I know, and your sister ran away.
Steve: Hey.
Kamekona: That's bulai, brah. She tricked me. Playing on my emotional vulnerabilities.
Steve: That part's true.
Danny: Shut up, you.
Kamekona: And besides, I'm great with keikis. I got this.

Steve: Is there a relay station that the signal passes through or any place that could compromise the signal?
Sheldon Tunney No. It's a clean feed from GOES 11 to us. [his pager starts beeping] Oh! You'll have to excuse me.
Steve: Okay, thank you. You've been very helpful.
Danny: How was that helpful?
Steve: You just be quiet for a second, okay? So the adults can think.

Danny: If I'm going to die on this island which I never should've come to in the first place, your face is not the last face I want to see, you understand that? Respectfully, of course.
Steve: I know you like it here.
Danny: I like... here? Incorrect! You are incorrect, my friend!
Steve: Then why the board, huh? Did hell freeze over? Did I actually miss you trying to get up on that thing? [snickers]
Danny: No comment!!

[The team discovers the money from the HPD asset forfeiture locker stashed inside sandbags stashed at the HPD central HQ and try to pin the prime suspect]
Commander Hale: Coast Guard tracked that drug deal for six months. It was supposed to be our takedown, but then HPD swooped in, took the credit. Now I'm being pushed out before my 20. No pension. No benefits. My country owes me.
Steve: [irritated, gets in Commander Hale's face] Hey, let's clear things right now. You swore to defend and support this country no matter what the cost. She doesn't owe you anything, okay?
Danny: This uh, gonna be your last chance to say it. Come on.
Steve: Book 'em, Danno.
Sgt. Duke Lukela: [as Danny cuffs Hale] How much money is this?
Hale: Twenty-eight million.

E Malama [1.16][edit]

Chin: [to Kono] You know, there might be a few other things I could teach you, but I think you got the whole ass-kicking thing down.

Steve: I may not be able to see you, okay. But I can hear you. And you have a tone.
Danny: Tone? I don't have a tone. I don't have a tone.
Steve: You say I have a face. You, my friend, you have a tone. You have a tone, okay? And it's a tone that says "I'm gonna hit somebody."

Chin: [to Danny] Wasn't that the mother of your child?
Danny: You know what the greatest invention of all time is?
Chin: What?
Danny: The Ignore button. You know, I have a theory that whoever invented the modern cellular phone also had an ex-wife.

[Danny has a face-to-face with Hawaii Housing Commissioner Bruce Hoffmann after Stan comes clean about the circumstances behind a carjack of Rachel's car]
Danny: I'm Detective Danny Williams. I am also the father of that little girl that was in the Mercedes that you had carjacked this morning, sending a message to Stan Edwards. I have the tapes now. He doesn't have them anymore. I'm going to ask you a question. What do you think would happen if those tapes got out? Huh?
Bruce Hoffmann: Look, look. I-I don't know anything about what you're talking about, Detective Williams.
Danny: [shoves Hoffmann onto a wall and stamps badge on his forehead] Williams. You can get my badge number off your forehead. I have those tapes, and will expose you, and if you ever, ever put a gun in the same zip code as my daughter, I swear to God, I will kill you. You understand?

Powa Maka Moana [1.17][edit]

Steve: [sees Danny bent over] What are you doing?
Danny: Buying a car. What's it look like I'm doing?
Steve: It looks like you're doing downward dog, but I know you don't do yoga.
Danny: I'm stretching because my back hurts. Do you know why my back hurts?
Steve: No. Why does your back hurt?
Danny: Because I spent the morning pushing a car down the Pali Highway.
Steve: Ah. Where I come from that's called good exercise.
Danny: Where is that, Krypton? Where I come from, that's called a worker's comp settlement.

Danny: [sees Kamekona in a tracksuit] When did you start jogging?
Kamekona: I'm in training, brah.
Danny: Did he just say he's in a training bra?
Steve: No, he...
Danny: Very funny
Kamekona: I'm training for a sumo competition.
Danny: Oh. Sumo.
Steve: Sumo.
Danny: Shouldn't you be, uh, wearing a diaper? Big diaper? Something like that?
Kamekona: It's called a mawashi, brah. Lip off to me one more time, I'll give you a personal introduction to the sport.
Danny: I like my odds. Bring it.

[Steve and Danny visit Tongan pawnshop operator Big Lono]
Steve: You gonna open the door?
Big Lono: Not a chance.
Steve: I'll be back.
Danny: "I'll be back?" [to Big Lono] He's done a lot better, trust me. [To Steve] That's all you can come up with is "I'll be back?"
Steve: I've got something- I've got something good. [Goes outside]
Danny: What are are you gonna do, Are you gonna drive the car through the... Hey, I got the keys! Quieres llaves? [to Big Lono] You see what you did? I don't know what he's gonna do. But if I were you: I'd run out the back, side, roof - go! [Steve returns with a grenade] A grenade? He has a grenade. Why do you have a grenade? He's got a grenade. You see this? He's not bluffing? He will pull the pin and blow everybody up. Will you trust me, please?
Big Lono: That thing's not even real.
Steve: You gonna open the door?
Big Lono: Not a chance.
Steve: Sure? [Lono refuses to budge] Okay. [sets up grenade on screen lock]
Danny: You're not bl - You're not bluffing.
Steve: Go, go! Move!
Danny: That is so sick. [Steve and Danny run outside as the grenade goes off; Danny is stunned at the explosion] Come on!!! What is the matter with you?!? You need help! I will pay for it!

[Steve walks out with the team after meeting the abductees' parents]
Kono: What are the real chances of getting these kids back alive?
Steve: When my father was kidnapped, I knew from prior experience that no matter what I did that day, the results would not be good, okay? In these situations they rarely are... We're gonna change that. We're gonna get these kids back. We're gonna get them back alive!

Kono: [visits a bar full of coeds on spring break while checking leads] Four year-college tuition, $200,000. Books and supplies, $5,000. Room and board, $25,000. [sees unconscious patron] Passing out with two cocktail olives up your nose...
Chin: Priceless.

Loa Aloha [1.18][edit]

Matt: We can hang out for the day and meet you for dinner. What do you think, Grace?
Grace: Yeah.
Danny: All right. But listen, no funny stuff. No trouble, okay?
Grace: I won't.
Danny: I know you won't. I'm talking to him.

Matt: Our parents would say, "Where's your brother?" and Danny would say, "Guess we lost him."
Rachel: You are horrible, Danny.
Danny: Yeah, well, I always came back for you, didn't I?

Matt: You gonna shoot me, Danny?
Danny: I should shoot you. You stupid son-of-a-bitch! Laundering money for drug dealers? What the hell's the matter with you?

Danny: [to Matt] Listen to me. Who do you think you're talking to, huh? Think you're talking to one of your dopey clients. I'm your brother! You don't lie to me!
Matt: What do you want to hear? That I took the money? Fine! I took the money!

Danny: [about his brother, Matt] Well, be warned. Mr. Wall Street has quite a personality.
Steve: Runs in family, huh?
Danny: Disorder. Personality disorder.

Ne Me'e Laua Na Paio [1.19][edit]

Steve: [about a snow globe] Why would you steal this?
Johnny: I've always wanted to go to Paris.
Steve: It's a beautiful city and if you go, you should pick yourself up a snow globe because that is Seattle.
Danny: [to Johnny] That's the Space Needle, not the Eiffel Tower, you schmuck!

Steve: [to Danny] You stop for malasadas?
Danny: No.
Steve: You got evidence for a case?
Danny: Nope.
Steve: Alright, stop, stop. What's in the bag?
Danny: My, lunch, genius.
Steve: Your lunch? Okay, what'd you bring?
Danny: You got to know every detail of my life? What's it to you what my lunch is?
Steve: Cause you don't want to tell me! What, you think it's so fantastic I'm going to steal it? You fly in some deep-fried sandwich from New Jersey I'm not allowed to know about-
Danny: Salad, okay? Just a salad. That's it. There's nothing else in here. Grace has been taking a nutrition class and she is concerned about my cholesterol so I promised her I would eat better. Okay?
Steve: That's actually incredibly sweet.

Kono: "You don't find Johnny. He finds you."
Danny: You're gonna quote this schmuck now?
Kono: I can spoof Tiffany's cell and make it look like she's sending him a text.
Danny: Lure him here. I like it. But move over please. Because I'm gonna do this. Because it should be very filthy and you're a young lady.

Danny: [to Steve] I don't understand why you didn't just give them your files right there.
Steve: Must you know every detail of my life?
Danny: Hey, this is the CIA you're dealing with here. They wrote the book on advanced interrogation techniques, which I'm absolutely positive you have sitting on your bedside table right now. Just so you know, I understand, okay? I would not mind a one-on-one session with Jenna Kaye, the thought does stimulate my imagination too.
Steve: Legally the CIA can only interrogate foreign nationals.
Danny: Why do you do that? I had my fantasy worked out. You're like a devourer of dreams. You know what I mean. You like eat them. You're like a little Pacman in cargo pants.

Steve: [to Wo Fat while waiting for Jenna Kaye] What makes you think I won't kill you right here in this restaurant?
Wo Fat: "The man who strikes first admits that his ideas have given out." Old Chinese proverb.
Steve: [has a gun aimed at Wo Fat under the table] "Say hello to my little friend." Old American proverb.

Ma Ke Kahakai [1.20][edit]

Danny: With all due respect, what's wrong with an old fashioned baseball game, Steve? Huh?
Steve: Never been to a professional baseball game.
Danny: That doesn't surprise me at all.

Danny: I'm gonna come down, untangle the rope and I'm going to bring it to you, alright?
Steve: Take it easy, alright? [Danny starts to climb, but stumbles] Hey, easy! I'm not going to catch your ass if you fall!
Danny: I'd rather you not catch me if I fall, okay?

Danny: [about going through a case of fish shipped to Morimoto's] Okay buddy, after you.
Steve: That's for you, babe, I can't get my cast wet.
Danny: That's low. That's really low. What exactly are we looking for?
Steve: We'll know when we find it. So be thorough-
Danny: Be thorough, okay.
Steve: Yeah, check every fish Danny, every fish in the box.
Danny: You're gonna pay for this. One hundred percent.

Danny: This is not a hike, Steven. Your dad used to bring you up here?
Steve: Every year.
Danny: That explains a lot.

Ho'opa'i [1.21][edit]

Danny: We know who Jimmy Cannon is. What we don't know is who Reggie Cole is going to be once he finds out who the leak is or if he tracks down one of the shooters.
Steve: Well, you were married, you have a daughter. What would you do?
Danny: Well I would want to just kill everybody, but I would never do that. I would not risk going to prison, I could not do that to Grace. You, forget it. I don't even want to know what you would do.
Steve: Me, I would be by the book.
Danny: You would be by the book? Which book? The Patriot Act for Dummies? How to Nuke Your Enemies? War and Peace? Minus the peace part?

Jimmy Cannon: Every investigation against me has come up empty, you know why?
Steve: No, why?
Cannon: Because there's nothing to find. Now, growing up in poverty and making something of yourself used to be considered a virtue in this country.
Steve: Is that Capone? [to Danny] Did he just quote Capone?
Danny: I think it was Gotti.
Steve: [to Cannon] John Gotti? Is that John Gotti?
Cannon: [pause] Are you two done?

Reggie Cole: Look, my job was to get Jimmy Cannon. I don't know who shot me. I don't know who set me up. All I know is that Jimmy Cannon ordered the hit! Now look...look I know you guys are trying to do your jobs... but Jimmy Cannon killed my wife. He killed a federal agent. You don't know who you're dealing with. He's going to put walls up in front of you wherever you go.
Steve: We're going to go wherever the case takes us. And let me tell you, you want guys like us on this, because we'll go through those walls.

Allison Marsh: Well, gentlemen, this is an FBI matter now. And the FBI will be taking over the case. Thanks for your effort.
Steve: First of all, you're welcome. Second of all, a little boy's going to grow up without a mother because of a leak in your agency!
Marsh: Listen to me. You cannot go after Jimmy Cannon.
Steve: Watch me!

Allison Marsh: [to McGarrett] I want to talk to your boss.
McGarrett: Lady, I answer to God and to the Governor, neither of whom are going to help you out right now, so take a seat.

Reggie Cole: Whatcha looking at?
Kevin Cole: That cloud looks like a seashell, huh?
Reggie Cole: Sure does.
Kevin Cole: Do you think Mommy sees it?
Reggie Cole: I know she does.

Ho'ohuli Na'au [1.22][edit]

[Kono and HPD forensics specialist Charlie Fong talk at the crime lab]
Kono Kalakaua: Did you graduate from Kikui High?
Charlie Fong: Nope. Punahou.
Kono: You're not going to make this easy are you?
Fong: Just the crime-solving stuff.

[McGarrett insists on Chin Ho coming clean about his corruption charges]
Steve McGarrett: Look Chin, listen this is gonna clear your name.
Chin Ho: Yeah, it will, but at what cost? My uncle was a righteous cop, Steve. In his 25 years, he put away hundreds of criminals. Guys that deserved to be off the streets. And if he's found guilty, they'll enact judicial review. All of his past convictions will be called into question. Guilty men will walk straight out of prison.
McGarrett: Let me call the governor.
Chin Ho: No. This is my problem. I'll handle it.

Ua Hiki Mai Kapalena Pau [1.23][edit]

[Jenna Kaye and Steve McGarrett confront Fallon Global official Elliot Connor at his office]
Jenna Kaye: You shifted in your chair and touched your face as you were answering the question. Those are both signs of deception, plus you added unnecessary details about delivering the papers just to make your lies sound more credible.
Steve McGarrett: Does Jeff know that you're using his house to cheat on his sister?
Elliott Connor: What? That's absurd!
Kaye: Wow. Mock outrage - that's a bad one.

Kamekona: You know, Gracie, when I was a little keiki like you, my mama used to bring me this chicken every time I was sick.
Grace Williams: Fried chicken isn't good for you. It has cholesterol and causes heart disease.
Kamekona: Nah, a little bit of grease is good for you. Helps the insides stay lubricated.

[Sang Min suddenly appears at the Five-0 offices]
Sang Min: You don't understand. I'll plead to any charge. Take the maximum sentence. As long as you put me in protective custody.
Danny: Oh yeah? What happened?
Sang Min: Wo Fat. I tried to make things right with him.
Steve: What did he say?
Sang Min: He told me he's not gonna rest until I'm dead. And then when I am, he's gonna come after you next.

[McGarrett had handcuffed Jenna Kaye to his car before a raid.]
McGarrett: Correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't there a car attached to you? [Kaye looks down at her wrist]
Kaye: Oh. Weird.

Oia'i'o [1.24][edit]

[Chin Ho receives a call on his cellphone - with Sgt Duke Lukela on the other end]
Sgt. Duke Lukela: [sees arrest warrant notice on computer] You sure you don't want your old job back? 'Cause it looks like your current one isn't going to exist much longer. We have a warrant to arrest McGarrett for murder.
Chin Ho Kelly: [Ending the call] We've got a problem. HPD is on the way here right now to arrest you for killing Laura Hills.

[Danny witnesses Chin Ho and the HPD officers bring McGarrett out of the Governor's Mansion]
Danny: We have jurisdiction. We're Five-0. Get him out.
Chin Ho Kelly: You don't understand, Danny. There is no Five-0 anymore.

Season 2[edit]

Haʻiʻole [2.1][edit]

Jenna Kaye: Where are you going? Steve needs our help.
Joe White: He will be fine.
Jenna: How do you know?
White: Because I trained him.

[the former Five-0 gang try to find McGarrett after he bolts jail]
Kono Kalakaua: I can run his ID, trace his cell, run surveillance.
Chin Ho Kelly: How you gonna do that? You don't have access to HPD's database.
Kono: I'll use your password.
Danny: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not a good idea.
Chin Ho: You're not carrying a badge anymore, Kono. I can't guarantee HPD backup.
Kono: You guys are my backup.
Danny: [chuckles] Definitely been hanging out with McGarrett too long now.

[at Kamekona's shave ice shop, the Five-0 gang show Lt Gov Sam Denning the hidden camera footage from Jamieson's murder]
Governor Sam Denning: Commander McGarrett, you have my sincerest apologies for everything you've been through.
Steve McGarrett: With all due respect, sir, I don't need your apologies. What I need you to do is re-instate my Five-O Task Force so we can go after this son-of-a-bitch right here.
Denning: ...Well no doubt, that Five-O had an impact on crime. So as Lt. Governor I'll grant your request.
McGarrett: All right! Thank you, sir.
Denning: But there are conditioins.
Danny 'Danno' Williams: What conditions?
Denning: Governor Jameson gave you full immunity to basically run roughshod over every single law on the State's books. That's not gonna happen on my watch. You cross the line you answer to me.
McGarrett: Understood, sir. But just so your clear. Sometimes we get put in positions where lives are on the line, and we have to make split-second decisions. The line you're talking about gets a little hard to see.

Ua Lawe Wale [2.2][edit]

[Chin Ho, Danny and Steve talk about Lori Weston]
Chin Ho Kelly: What? Why wouldn't she last?
Danny 'Danno' Williams: Well, Let's see what she looks like when she gets done with Sgt. Slaughter's Boot Camp.
Steve McGarrett: What's that supposed to mean?
Danny: Let's just try not to get the new girl blown up, kidnapped, or shot on her first day. That's all. Can we do that, Steven?
Steve: I can't guarantee that.

[Chin Ho Kelly is caught by surprise about Internal Affairs investigating Kono]
Chin Ho Kelly: You're about to kill the career of a good cop because you think she did something wrong.
Capt. Vincent Fryer: I know - she did something wrong. The apple doesn't fall far from the family tree.
Chin Ho: This isn't about me.
Fryer: You're right. It isn't. The governor wants to make it very clear that there's a zero-tolerance policy with regards to crime and corruption. He's tasked me with cleaning up this department. Which is exactly what I'm going to do -starting with your cousin.

Kame'e [2.3][edit]

Lori Weston: I just point out the truth; most men can't handle the truth when it comes to love.
Danny Williams: Oh, we can't handle the truth? What are we doing, A Few Good Men?

[Five-0 raid "The Chameleon"'s hideout and sees a bunch of surveillance materials on SEAL Team IX personnel]
Danny 'Danno' Williams: [browsing a folder] Operation Strawberry Fields ring a bell?
Steve McGarrett: What did you say?
Danno: Operation Strawberry Fields. It's got a picture of you and your men. [Steve snatches folder from him] Photo of you.
Steve: It's classified.
Danno: Oh, I apologize. The Chameleon unclassified it.

[Disgraced HPD cop Frank Delano makes a proposition]
Frank Delano: Listen Kono, I don't want to sit around all day and play footsie. A person with your skill set and experience has a... certain value in my line of work.
Kono Kalakaua: And what kind of work is that?
Delano: It's kind of like police work, except the bad guys we take down, we don't read Miranda, we just take their money.
Kono: So you provide a public service.
Delano: Something like that.

Mea Makamae [2.4][edit]

Kamekona: Now dig in to the grinds, and tell me what you think, please.
Joe White: [takes a bite of the jambalaya] Jambalaya has got some kick. [looks at Steve] Try it.
[Steve takes a shrimp and nearly chokes due to its spiciness]
Steve: You got a cast-iron stomach that should be weaponized. [to Kamekona] You got any water in there?
Kamekona: Sparkling or flat?
Steve: Seriously, I can't breathe right now.

Danny: [looks at a life-sized whale hanging from the ceiling of the museum] It's amazing. I mean, one day you are the king of the ocean, right? The next thing you know, you're hanging from the ceiling in a museum and children are looking at your private parts.
Steve: Yep, kind of puts things in perspective.

[Steve catches on to Danny about Dr Gabrielle Asano]
Danny: I don't want a relationship.
Steve: Coffee is not a relationship, it's a beverage.
Danny: Not true, every relationship has started with a cup of coffee. Then it's dinner and a movie, okay? Next thing you know, you're divorced, you're moving to Hawaii so you can see your daughter every other weekend.
Steve: You need to talk to someone professionally.
Danny I do. You. And now the session's over.

[Steve and Joe join the military in departure honors for Capt Robert Murphy at JFB Pearl Harbor-Hickam, but Steve brings up something with Joe]
Steve: You never gave that video to the DOD, did you Joe?
Joe: ...No.
Steve: You know what? I know he was your friend, but he was *my* father. Whatever it is you're trying to protect me from I can handle it. You understand me?
Joe: Did you ever think that maybe you're not the only one I'm trying to protect?
Steve: What are you talking about?
Joe: Risk versus reward, Steve. How much damage are you willing to do to your family - to your family's name - because whatever's on that video, it's not going to bring your father back.
Steve: I need to know.

Ma'ema'e [2.5][edit]

Danny: What are the perks of being a cop? The pay sucks, the hours suck. Sometimes I get...No no not sometimes, all the time, I get shot at all the time.
Steve: What are you talking about? You never get...you hardly every get shot at.
Danny: Is that a joke? Are you making a joke?
Steve: Ok when's the last time you got clipped?
Danny: Your not a funny person. Are you trying to be funny? You're not, ok. Here's my point alright, living practically rent-free in some rich guy's guest house seems to me like a nice perk for keeping the world a safe place.
Steve: You homeless now? Why don't you try decorating? Why don't you get some doilies for the tables, flowers for the table.

Ka Hakaka Maikaʻi [2.6][edit]

[Danny waves a white towel in front of Steve before he faces Chuck Liddell]]
Steve: What are you doing?
Danny: Getting ready to throw in the towel before you die.
Steve: [ignores Danny] Mouth guard.
Danny: [grumbles] Mouth guard. [hands Steve his mouth guard] You need a helmet not a mouth guard.

Danny: [interrogating a suspect] You know there is no honor amongst thieves. Eventually they will rat on you so why don't you just beat them to the punch. [sees Kelly walking into the interrogation room] You didn't miss anything. This guy's vocabulary is not straying too far from the word "lawyer".

[Steve and Danny are about to question Boriero and notice his car isn't locked.]
Steve: Looks like Boriero wasn't worried about theft.
Danny: That's one of the benefits of being built like king kong.

Ka Iwi Kapu [2.7][edit]

[Danny notices Max cosplaying as Neo at the medical examiner's office]
Max: I came directly to work after a costume party.
Danny: Come on, you don't secretly have this thing where you look dressing up like you're in the Matrix.
Max: The two concepts are not mutually exclusive.

[Having seen a big rock hit his Camaro's front windshield after stepping right into the Keiamanu Heiau despite warnings from the Five-0 team not to desecrate it, Danny is furious that a bigger rock shattered the rear window]
Danny: How does this even happen?
Chin Ho: Maybe it's the result of completely dismissing an entire culture's spiritual beliefs.

[Danny moves into a dead victim's apartment with the gang's help]
Danny: I wanted to ask you about the pet deposit. You see, my daughter, she wants a dog.
Landlady: I'm sorry. We have a strict no-pet policy.
Danny: What are you talking about? What about the old lady?
Landlady: What old lady?
Danny: The old lady with the big dopey hat and the little dog and she was gardening. She's the one that told me the elevator was bust... which by the way you're gonna fix, right?
Landlady: Sounds like you're describing Mrs Kakoa.
Danny: OK, Mrs Kokoa.
Landlady: But old Mrs Kakoa died five years ago. She fell down the elevator shaft.
McGarrett: OK, we're all set up.
Danny: Emm... yeah, we're gonna leave.
McGarrett: What?
Danny: Pack it up. Pack it all up.

Lapaʻau [2.8][edit]

Ike Maka [2.9][edit]

[Steve goes downstairs and shuts the television.]
Danny: I was watching that.
Steve: Through the blanket?
Danny: Oh, well, I was listening anyway.
Steve: Yeah, I mean, because there's nothing more soothing than the sound of somebody trying to sell you gold coins, right?
Danny: You know, I need something to block out the sound of the ocean 'cause the waves keep crashing over and over and over again, Steven.
Steve: Some would say it's a relaxing sound, Danny.
Danny: Yeah? Some people would. And other people, like myself, would say it's Hawaiian water torture, okay? Two weeks now, I can't take it anymore.
Steve: Okay, you know I don't mind you crashing with me till you find your own place, right?
Danny: I appreciate that.
Steve: Okay, but I can't sleep with the TV on.
Danny: I can't sleep with the TV off.
Steve: And we discussed that before you moved in.
Danny: Yeah, we did. I think I remember that it's McGarrett house rule number 32: No TV after midnight.
Steve: I'm sorry the hotel didn't work out for you.

Steve: I have become accustomed to doing things a certain way.
Danny: Yeah, I know, and your way, your way is completely insane. It's nuts. Who can take a shower in under three minutes?
Steve: Have you ever heard of a navy shower, Danny? A navy shower?
Danny: No. Where do you think I would have heard of something like a navy shower? I'm not in the navy!

Kiʻilua [2.10][edit]

[Joe White and the Five-0 crew see Navy LCdr Wade Gutches and SEAL Team IX members join them for the operation to North Korea]
Wade Gutches: You have room for a few more on this.... What are you calling it?
Joe: Humanitarian mission...
Gutches: Righhhhhht.

[The gang sees Buffett's old Huey chopper]
Chin Ho: We're going up in that?
Lori: Is anyone else terrified?
Kono: It can't be that bad. [opens door and sees chickens in the passenger compartment] Ok, now I'm terrified.
Jenna Kaye: It wasn't for nothing.
Danno: Find a woman that you really hate...
Steve, Joe and Seal Team IX: ...and buy her a house!

Pahele [2.11][edit]

[Steve is caught by surprise at Joe White's decision to seek early retirement]
Joe: How about you treat me to a shrimp jambalaya and we'll call it even?
Steve: You are the only man on the planet who would see jambalaya as even for the end of their career.

Governor Sam Denning: Three days ago, the Five-O task force seized $80 million worth of cocaine being smuggled into Honolulu Harbor on a Colombian fishing vessel.
Steve: I see you broke out the formal wear, too, huh?
Danny: Dog and pony show– perfect occasion to wear a tie.
Kono: I always liked the tie.
Denning: Five-O’s courageous actions have made our state a safer place. Five-O acted in cooperation with Customs, DEA and HPD to orchestrate an efficient and coordinated takedown of what appears to be a major player in the global drug trade. We appreciate the help from our law enforcement counterparts and will continue to rely on them as this investigation moves forward. We feel we sent a strong message to the South American cartels. The state of Hawaii will not be used as a way station for illegal narcotic trafficking.

Ms. Christie: Jay, what’s going on?
Jay Katsu: It’s a car accident.
Ms. Christie: It’s all right, everybody. Just stay in your seats.
Katsu: [goes down and calls out to people at crash] You guys okay? Anybody hurt?
Karla: Yeah, you. [shoots him]
Ms. Christie: Jay! Kids, get down! Get down! Just Get Down!

Steve: What do we know?
Danny: Looks like a kidnapping, right? We got 16 kids, three adults from South Shore Children’s Academy; they were on a field trip. Someone comes, takes the whole bus.
Steve: Parents been notified?
Danny: Kono’s on her way to the school right now to meet them and prepare them for a ransom call.
Steve: Who's the vic, Chin?
Chin: Jay Katsu, driver of the bus. Still waiting on Max, but the cause of death appears to be three gunshots to the chest, close range.
Danny: Here’s what I think. All right, guy gets out of the bus to see what’s going on. Comes over here– boom– gets popped by one of the kidnappers.
Steve: [notices something odd on cars] Wait a minute.
Chin: What are you thinking?
Steve: This accident was staged. Look at this. There’s no skid marks. Neither of the airbags have been deployed. There’s minimal damage.
Danny: Now who do these cars belong to?
Chin: Well, HPD ran the plates. Turns out, both vehicles were reported stolen last night.
Lori Weston: I just spoke to the witness who called 911. She came on the accident about 20 minutes ago. Driver was already dead.
Danny: She see the school bus?
Lori: Yeah, she reported seeing one traveling at high speeds, heading south.
Chin: Well, if they reached the H3, they could be anywhere on the island.
Steve: All right, we need the cell numbers of all the people on that bus. Pinging their phones is gonna be our best chance of locating them.

Alaheo Pauʻole [2.12][edit]

[McGarrett has just caught Danno and Lori in a rather compromising position]
Steve McGarrett: And the uh... the handcuffs?
Lori Weston: Oh uh, Danny was showing me the uh...
Lori and Danny 'Danno' Williams: Jersey slip.
Steve: Jersey slip?
Danny: The hood rat cuff slip. All the kids are doing it back east. So thought I'd show her.
Lori: Yeah, and um we [clears her throat] lost the key somewhere. I think it's in the couch.

Joe White: I know you took my passport.
Steve McGarrett: [gives back passport] What are you doing in Japan? [sees Joe sigh, but doesn't answer] You might as well tell me, 'cause I'm not gonna stop asking.
Joe: I was hoping you wouldn't say that.

Ka Hoʻoponopono [2.13][edit]

[Steve and Joe argue over the identity of Shelburne]
Joe White: You're interfering with something you don't understand.
Steve McGarrett: Then why don't you explain it to me, Joe? Tell me what the hell's going on! You gotta wake up. The walls are closing in on you. HPD wants answers. The Yakuza wants blood. Shelburne - is he worth this? Is he worth going to jail for? Is he worth dying for?
Joe: People are already dying, son. I'M TRYING TO MAKE IT STOP!

[Kono and Charlie Fong study Rick Summers and Karen Sargent's sex video]
Charlie Fong: Moral of the story: Resist the urge to have sex in front of an open laptop.
Kono Kalakaua: ...Sometimes you scare me.

Puʻolo [2.14][edit]

[flashback to 1992 and John McGarrett's decision to send him and Mary Ann to the mainland]
John McGarrett: My first responsibility is not my safety, it's yours. You may not like it, but I hope someday you understand it.

[McGarrett and Joe White visit John McGarrett's grave to tell him the truth about Shelburne]
Steve McGarrett: Okay, all right, if it was an investigation into the Yakuza, then why does Wo Fat care so much about Shelburne?
Joe White: Because Shelburne killed his father.
Steve: And by Shelburne, you mean my father.
Joe: No, it was me. I killed him.

Mai Ka Wa Kahiko [2.15][edit]

I Helu Pu [2.16][edit]

Roger: [after being tackled and handcuffed by Danny] Hey! That hurts man.
Danny: That hurts? You just jumped out of a window and this hurts.
Steve: Hey Danny, that was an impressive tackle. Like what they do at UH.

Danny: How you're doin?
Steve: Good. Yeah. Good. The Governor just shut down Five-O but I'm all right.
Danny: What did you tell him?
Steve: Everything.
Danny: Ok, see, that was your first mistake, you understand? On top of being too competitive, you're also too honest.
Steve: Look, we screwed up this time, Danny, ok? My fault. We went too far.
Danny: Ohhh, ok, this is your pity party. Is it a personal invite-only or can anybody else attend? Can I come too? [Steve smirks] It's nobody's fault. You did what you had to do. That's it.

[Catherine has deployment orders to the USS Enterprise, but McGarrett has other ideas, topped by Valentine's Day chocolates]
Catherine Rollins:So, uh what's with the bag and the uniform?
Steve McGarrett: I felt bad that our weekend got blown up by a case. And, uh I figured since I was due for my reserve drill, I'd put in a request to, um, to do it on the Enterprise.
Steve:Yeah, with you.
Catherine:Huh. You know, that's, um so much better than chocolate. [embraces] Steve]
Steve:I thought you'd like that.
Catherine: Yeah. Now, you know that you will also be doing your reserve with about 3,000 other sailors, right? So, we're not gonna get a whole lot of time together
Steve: Right. Yeah but, um it's a really long flight.

Kupale [2.17][edit]

[Max studies the body of a reenactor]
Steve: Time travel doesn't exist.
Max: On the contrary, there are several theories....
Danny: With all due respect. For argument's sake, let's say this man didn't own a Delorean and is from the 21st century.

Steve: Don't you want Grace to know that you're happy? You're her daddy.
Danny: Hey I am happy.
Steve: You're never happy.
Danny: I'm happy when I'm not around you.
Steve: That's a lie too. You love me.

Steve: [after Danny invites him over for dinner] I just wanna know who's going.
Danny: Friends. Friends are going.
Steve: All right. Good. What's the deal?
Danny: There's no deal! What, there's gotta be a deal because I invite my friends to dinner?
Steve: You never invite your friends anywhere.
Danny: Incorrect. I just did.

Lekio [2.18][edit]

[Danny and Max are in the car with Steve, who is driving haphazardly through traffic to chase down Max's stolen van.]
Danny: First of all, please slow down. We don't even know which way they're going
Steve: This road is the only way out of the marina.
Danny: Easy, please, easy, speed-racer. HUH?!!
Max: Actually, this vehicle was engineered to be driven in this manner.
Danny: Would you stop, Max?! You're not helping!
[Danny's cell phone rings and he answers]
Danny: Kono, this is not a good time. You're interrupting vehicular manslaughter.

Steve: Two R's, two T's. McGarrett.

[Max rattles off the elements he found in the trace evidence]
Kono: [confused] Is that good or bad?
Max: Perplexing.

Tony Archer: [to Danny] Book 'em, Muscles.
Steve: [smirks] I like this guy.

Kalele [2.19][edit]

[Angela meets a man on the pier - August March]
August March: I'm delighted you reached out to me, Angela.
Angela: [gives March briefcase of money] I didn't have many options, but with your help, this actually worked out better than I hoped. [gives March a pack of diamonds] Your diamonds. It's been a pleasure.
March: Oh believe me, the pleasure's all mine, [reacts to Angela turning around and walking away] but there's one more thing you need to learn about this type of business. [Angela looks back at him as he pulls out a revolver] Never turn your back on the buyer! [shoots her; Angela falls into the water and March walks away with the cash]

Haʻalele [2.20][edit]

Pa Make Loa [2.21][edit]

[at Five-0 HQ, Chin notices Kono checking her phone while they talk about a case]
Chin Ho Kelly: Who was that?
Kono Kalakaua: Uh, nothing. I have someone I can just talk to later.
Chin: That somebody have a name?
Kono: What, I can't have a private life?
Chin: [giddly] Ooh. Is it a boy? Is he cute?
Kono: Okay, leave me alone.
Chin: I knew something was up. You got that glow.
Kono: Okay, I do not glow.
Chin: Uh-huh. Give it up. What's his name?
Kono: You'll find out when the time is right.
Chin: All right, be like that, but just remember who's going to walk you down the aisle.
Kono: Okay, that's going to be a very, very long ways away.
Chin: Not at this rate.

[Danny and NCIS Special Agent Sam Hanna are in a car chase]
Hanna: Hold steady... [aiming his gun at the suspects' car to shoot]
Danny: Hold steady? You shoot like Ray Charles. Come on.
Hanna: Watch out for the dumpster!
Danny: [deadpan] I see the dumpster. Thanks. [narrowly avoids dumpster]
Hanna: Try to work on your driving position a little. Your wrists are in the wrong place.
Danny: My wrists are in the wrong––[looks at Hanna] what is it with Navy SEALs and back-seat drivers?!
Hanna: Watch out for the car!!
Danny: [exasperated] I see the car!

Ua Hopu [2.22][edit]

Ua Hala [2.23][edit]

Season 3[edit]

La O Na Makuahine [3.1][edit]

[Steve McGarrett has finally met his mother - and he wants some answers]
Steve McGarrett: Yeah, why don't we start with Shelburne.
Doris McGarrett: Shelburne was the code name the agency gave me. I'm s -I'm sorry.
Steve: Agency? What agency?
Doris: Before I met your father, I worked for an intelligence program that reported directly to the Pentagon.
Steve: You were a spy?
Doris: Yes.
Steve: So, all those years that I thought you were a a schoolteacher, that was just a cover. And, um, were me and Mary just a cover, too?
Doris: Shelburne was way before you and Mary.
Steve: How'd you meet Wo Fat's father?
Doris: He was an assignment.
Steve: So, you were ordered to kill him.
Doris: It was a little more complicated than that.
Steve: Well, we got some time, so why don't you why don't you uncomplicate it?
Doris: Okay. Like you, I served my country, but after I got married, I left the agency because I wanted to be a mother. Unfortunately, I could change my name, but not my past.
Steve: That's why you pretended to be dead?
Doris: When I made that choice, I knew that my life would never be the same. I knew that I would have to give up the only thing that meant anything to me- my family.
Steve: So, why'd you do it, Doris? If that's even your real name.
Doris: It was the name I was born with, and the name the name I went back to the day I met your father. [indignant at son's tone] And since when does a son call his mother by her first name?
Steve: Since you failed to be one.
Doris: I didn't see any other options, Steve.

[Chin Ho Kelly goes after Frank Delano and finds him trying to hijack a van]
Chin Ho Kelly: Where do you think you're going?
Frank Delano: [shoots one round that somehow misses Chin, who shoots him in the shoulder. Chin closes door of van and aims shotgun at Delano, who's out of ammo] You're not gonna kill me. You said it yourself. You're not a dirty cop, Chin. Only a dirty cop would shoot an unarmed man. [Chin Ho pauses before firing shotgun pointblank]

[Danny meets Steve just after he saw off Doris]
Danny Williams: You okay? Your mother said that she exchanged gunfire with Wo Fat, right?
Steve McGarrett: Yeah, right before he escaped out the window. Why?
Danny: Crime lab just finished processing the safe house. Found evidence of only one weapon being fired in that bedroom. Ballistics matched it to the gun that Catherine gave Doris.
Steve: All right? All three slugs were pulled out of the floor.
Danny: So either your mother is a terrible shot, or she deliberately tried not to shoot Wo Fat.
Steve: You're saying you think she let him get away?
Danny: No, I'm asking: why didn't she kill him when she had the chance?

Kanalua [3.2][edit]

[August March is unmasked over killing Angela Branson and an indirect role in a lithograph heist]
Danny Williams: Any idea how your prints ended up on the stolen artwork? I mean, gloves. That's what I would have done. I mean, I figure an old pro like you would know to wear gloves.
Steve McGarrett: Thirty years in prison made you rusty, March.
August March: Maybe it's just old age.
McGarrett: Maybe.
March: I'm not going back to jail.
McGarrett: I don't think you have a choice.
March: What are my options?
McGarrett: I don't think you understand. You-you don't have any options.

[Over dinner with the gang at the Honolulu Hilton, Chin Ho reflects on how he met Malia]
Chin Ho Kelly: The very first time I laid eyes on Malia, was right here on this beach. I was, uh, staying here at the Hilton while my apartment was getting repainted. There she was. She was riding these little ankle slappers, and she still managed to lose her board. ... I found her board, of course, but I told her she couldn't get it back until she agreed to go out to dinner with me... It didn't quite work out, though. She told me I could keep it. And then, about a week later, I get a knock on my door from some surf shop saying that the board is actually theirs, and I owe them five days rental...When she heard the news, um, she felt pity on me, and she called me.

Lana I Ka Moana [3.3][edit]

Steve: I told you, if you wanna catch anything today, Danny, we gotta trawl.
Danny: No, no, no. Trawling is not fishing. That is you just driving around on a boat, just like you driving my car.
Steve: Time out. I thought the mission today was to get you your first tuna.
Danny: Why does everything have to be a mission?!
Steve: The goal is to help you catch your tunny.
Danny: [interrupts Steve] There's no goal. There's no mission. We are just fishing. What that means is, we relax, we have a couple of laughs. Maybe we catch a fish, maybe we do not.
Steve: All right. Well, this right here, this is called sitting on a boat and not catching anything. Just so you know.
Danny: Fine. That's where the beer comes in. [goes to the cooler to get two bottles of beer]

Steve: Save your energy. I'm gonna tow us, ok?
Danny: How are you gonna tow us? We're miles away from land.
Steve: Just relax Danny, I've done it before.
Danny: Oh you've done it before. I see, 'cause you like this, huh? [Steve smirks at Danny ranting] This is fun for you, you enjoy this, this is a challenge for you, right? That skills test. "Be all you can be" and all that crap?!
Steve: [deadpan] That's the Army.

Danny: [spots a shark behind Steve] Right behind you!! Get in the boat!! Get back in the boat! [Steve climbs back onto the inflatable dinghy]
Steve: It's a dinghy.
Danny: It's a dinghy, huh? Even in the face of death you are annoying.
Steve: Woah, that's a tiger shark, man.
Danny: Tiger shark.
Steve: Yeah
Danny: Well, no big deal then right? Have you seen Shark Week? I don't wanna be like Shark Week, all right?! If that thing gets near you, you punch it in the nose, trust me.
Steve: I'm not gonna punch it in the nose.
Danny: That's what you're supposed to do! Otherwise it eats your hand. I'm telling you. I know this stuff.
Steve: I'm not gonna disrespect this animal by provoking it.
Danny: Don't get all "island" on me now, ok?

[The US Coast Guard catches Danny and Steve at a yacht with a dead body aboard]
Danny Williams: What else wrong do you think could happen? Maybe, if we're lucky, they'll have a trial at sea and they'll make us walk the plank.
Steve: Just relax.
Danny: Hey, there ain't going to be too many more relaxes, okay?
Steve: Look at it like this: You're going to have a great story to tell Grace one day.
Danny: And the moral of that story is this: Never go deep-sea fishing with a Navy SEAL. No, no, scratch that-never go fishing with you.
Steve: Should've used you for bait.
US Coast Guard Officer: Sorry for the misunderstanding, Commander McGarrett, Detective Williams. Member of your team verified your credentials.
Danny : Well, next time I get forced into the ocean at gunpoint, I'll be sure to have my credentials.

[The gang eats at Kamekona's with a tuna fish Danno caught as the main course. Everyone agrees that he poke tastes good.]
Kamekona: I'll leave this with you, then. [gives Danny a piece of paper]
Danny Williams: What is this?
Kamekona: It's a bill.
Danny: I see that it's a bill, but why are you giving it to me? I brought you a fish what are you charging me for?
Kamekona: My cooking services.
Danny: What?
Kamekona: Superior life skills.
Kelly: What is that, like a corkage fee?
Kamekona: Exactly.
Danny: Oh, cooking what? What'd you cook? It's raw fish. You didn't cook anything.
Kamekona: All right, you brought me fish, I gave you a meal.

Popilikia [3.4][edit]

[Steve is woken up by a sound from downstairs and Catherine is now awake because of him. Steve gets his gun.]
Steve: [sees Catherine taking the baseball bat] What do you think you're doing?
Catherine: There's somebody downstairs.
Steve: Which is why you're gonna stay up here where it's safe.
Catherine: [scoffs] Oh, don't be a caveman. I'm coming with you.
Steve: [sternly] No. You're not.
Catherine: Then you're coming with me. [tiptoes out of the room]

[Steve and Catherine enter the kitchen]
Steve: [points his gun at the "intruder"] Don't move! ["intruder" turns around and it's Doris] Mom?
Doris McGarrett: Hi, honey.
Steve: What are you doing?
Doris: Uh, making eggs.
Steve:No, I mean, what are you doing here?
Doris: Stop playing with your gun and come have breakfast. Do you want orange juice? [Steve is speechless] [to Catherine] Good morning, Lieutenant Rollins. I, uh, hope I wasn't interrupting anything.
Steve: [to Catherine] I told you it was safer upstairs.

Danny: So what, she breaks into your house and just starts cooking?
Steve: Yeah, pretty much.
Danny: That's very strange. Although, she is a McGarrett after all.

[Steve sends Chin Ho Kelly to keep watch over his mother at home, even bring her some food]
Chin Ho Kelly: Well, I hope you don't mind, but Steve asked me to bring you by some breakfast.
Doris: Oh, how nice. Except, um, the thing is I've already made breakfast and Steve knows that, so I really hope you're a better cop than you are a liar.
Chin Ho: Excuse me?
Doris: Coco puffs from Liliha Bakery. [takes a piece] Ah, that is really good work. I mean, appealing to my nostalgic side and everything, well, I'm sure Steve told you that I used to bring these every Sunday morning to him and his sister -but if there's one thing I learned at the CIA about using a diversionary technique, it's, um, avoid the obvious.
Chin Ho: They're just coco puffs.
Doris: They're still really delicious. They're even better with a cup of coffee.
Chin Ho: Okay.
Doris: You can tell my son that whether or not he cares to acknowledge it, I've been taking care of myself since before he was born and I'm actually pretty damn good at it. So, you can stay here and have that cup of coffee, talk Kukui High football, if you want that, I'm game -but if you're here just to babysit me, you can leave right now. But the coco puffs stay with me.
Chin Ho: I'll take my coffee black.
Doris: Good choice.

Kamekona: [serves Catherine her shrimp and rice] Whoa, that's twice in one day. You're getting to be a regular regular.
Catherine: What can I say? This stuff is addictive.
Kamekona: Mm-hmm. Beauty and brains. Where have you been all of my life?

Mohai [3.5][edit]

[Steve and Catherine are watching a movie together on his couch.]
Catherine: [grins] I don't know what's sadder. The fact that you use this lame movie to hook up with girls, or the fact that it actually worked.
Steve: Clearly I don't know what you're talking about.
Catherine: Oh please, you put on a scary movie with the girl falling in your arms. It's all just a little bit obvious.

Catherine: Don't beat yourself up about that. Grace is at the age where, you know, she's discovering her independence.
Danny: She's 10. What independence? And if I can't compete now, what's gonna happen when she gets to high school?
Catherine: Wait till she starts dating
Danny: Dating? [Catherine nods her head] What, are you trying to make me feel better? You're not doing a very good job.

Danny: It's a true fact since the beginning of time, nothing good has ever happened in an alley after midnight. Ever.

I Ka Wa Mamua [3.6][edit]

Ohuna [3.7][edit]

Steve: You're his caregiver?
Mary: Yeah, the flight attendant thing didn't work out so well. Steve, listen please. I really think that this could be my true calling. I love taking care of people.
Steve: Well, that's funny, Mary, because you can barely take care of yourself.
Morty Sapperstein: [mischievously smacks Mary's behind] We take care of each other. Don't we, doll?
Mary: Morty, do you remember our conversation - about professional boundaries?
Morty: No. Memory's not so good.
Steve: [unamused] How about this, Morty, you touch my sister again like that, I'm gonna break your hand.

Doris McGarrett: [disappointed that Mary isn't with Steve] She's not coming, is she?
Steve: I mean, you can't blame her, Mom. She thought you were dead.
Doris: Where's she staying? [Steve says nothing] Okay. I'll just track her down myself. Acquiring target locations is actually a specialty of mine, so––
Steve: Mom. Mom, Mary's your daughter; she's not a target.
Doris: I'm sorry.
Steve: Look Give her some space, okay? Give her some time. When she's ready, she's gonna come to you.
Doris: And what if that never happens? [Steve's phone rings] Is that her?
Steve: No, no, no, stand down, Mom. It's work.
Doris: [chuckles] Did you just tell me to stand down?
Steve: Affirmative.

Kong Liang: You done? I want to talk to my lawyer.
Danny: What, exactly, are you gonna tell your lawyer? Huh? That Five-O raided your illegal hack shop, during which you fired a big cannon at my face. And then following your apprehension, we download everything on these goofy little computers, and we find out that you are indeed a world-class cyber thief. Go ahead, call. Use my phone, I'll dial it for you.

Mary: [sitting at her father's grave site] I still remember the day that that you told me that Mommy wasn't going to be coming home anymore. I remember that night I went into your room and I saw you sitting on your bed, crying. And that scared me, Dad. I miss you so much, Dad. I slept on Steve's floor 'cause I didn't want to be alone, you know and I guess I've been that way ever since. But when Steve just told me that she was alive all I could do was think about you that night crying, Dad. I'm just so angry for what she's put you through. And I miss you so much. I miss you. I miss you, and it just hurts so bad. I love you. [gets up and looks at Morty] Thanks for coming.
Morty: Where else was I going to go? I've been to a lot of stone gardens, kid, but I got to say, this is by far the nicest. Not too shabby a place to end up, I think.
Mary: [chuckles] I think you have to be part of the military to be buried here.
Morty: Sweetie, I'm retired air force - the 34th Bomb Squadron - so sign me up.

[Morty Sapperstein, Mary McGarrett's ward, talks to her on the Waikiki beach]
Morty: Mary, I need you to do something for me.
Mary: What? I'll do anything.
Morty: I need you to go see your mother.
Mary : I can't.
Morty: You can't or you won't?
Mary: Both. She disappeared from my life when I was ten years old, Morty. Gone. This whole time I've thought she's dead.
Morty: But she's not. You get a second chance, kid. Other people aren't so lucky. I'd give everything I own to have a second chance.
Mary: What are you talking about?
Morty: Zoe Anne Sapperstein. My only daughter.
Mary: You had a daughter, Morty? I didn't know you had a daughter.
Morty: Yeah. We got into a fight over this boy she was seeing. Her mother and I disapproved. She left college and took off for San Francisco with the guy. We didn't speak for years. One day the phone rang. It was the Highway Patrol. Carpet salesman from Oakland had too much to drink. He fell asleep behind the wheel and hit my daughter's car. Killed her instantly. Not a day goes by I don't wish I'd picked up the phone and called her. I let the privilege of knowing her slip away because I was a stubborn SOB. Don't make the same mistake. Put away your anger. Go see your mother. You only have one family.

Wahineʻinoloa [3.8][edit]

Haʻawe Make Loa [3.9][edit]

Huakaʻi Kula [3.10][edit]

[Steve is speaking to the Aloha Girls around the campfire while Danny and their chaperon Madeline sit at the side looking on]
Steve: I once saw a boar kill a tiger in India. This is serious business, okay? I'll tell you why. Boars are deadly, unpredictable beasts. They are everywhere on this island. They are all around us right now. They can attack without warning, so you guys have to be ready to protect yourselves at all times. You understand? [the girls nod in fascination] Good. We're gonna talk about the kill zone now. This is very important, okay?
Madeline: [to Danny] Seriously? "Kill zone"?
Danny: [looks apologetically at Madeline] I am very sorry.
Madeline: I thought you brought him here to teach them survival skills. You brought Colonel Kurtz.

Danny: Let's, um let's take this opportunity to talk about something else. Um, something useful, like how to find fresh water. Or, uh-- I don't know-- how to build a pillow out of-of flowers, something like that, something appropriate for the age group.
Steve: Yeah, we could definitely do that. Okay. Or Who wants to learn how to do that? [throws his knife into the tree trunk, girls look at him in awe]
Danny: [to Steve] You know what? There's something pathologically wrong with you.

Danny: You know, on the plus side, we've figured out that camping is terrible, as I've always believed.
Steve: Are you kidding me? These girls are never, ever gonna forget this experience.
Danny: Yeah, I'm hoping that they're repressing the memories as we speak.
Steve: [Danny helps him back on his feet] Thanks.
Danny: Yeah, no problem.
Steve: So, how's the arm?
Danny: It also hates camping.

Grace: I talked to Lucy today.
Danny: Yeah? How's she doing?
Grace: Happy to be home. She said one day she's gonna marry Uncle Steve when she grows up.
Danny: [chuckles] Well, we will not hold that against her, right?

Kahu [3.11][edit]

Kapu [3.12][edit]

Steve: Hey. Max got an ID yet?
Danny: No, he's still fishing out body parts. I think he's enjoying it, too.
Eric: I can't believe that was a person. Crispy.
Danny: Um, I told you my nephew was maybe gonna come visit from Jersey. Well, that happened. Here he is.
Eric: [greets Steve] What's up, bro? Call me E-Train.
Eric: Put your hand down, okay? That's not your bro, your name's Eric.
Danny: My sister's worried sick, does not know what to do with him. So she sent him to me, maybe I can, I don't know, scare some sense into him.
Steve: How's that working out?
Danny: He just saw his first dead body and he's still acting like a complete idiot so, I guess I have my work cut out for me.

Danny: [about Eric] It's like, uh, house-training a puppy. I mean, the kid has zero impulse control.

Kono: People have a way of surprising sometimes.
Sang Min: How can a girl who's so spicy also be so sweet, huh?
Kono: Don't make me change my mind.

Olelo HoʻOpaʻI Make [3.13][edit]

Hana I WaʻIa [3.14][edit]

Danny: Thought nobody wore a tie in Hawaii.
Steve: No, they don't, but, you know, it's a special day, so I thought I'd wear one. 'Course, I'm wearing my dress blues. They'd make me walk the plank if I don't wear a tie with the dress blues.
Danny: How come the blues are black?
Steve: I know they're black; I don't know why.
Danny: Thank you very much for being here-- it means a lot.

Danny: [after Steve gets orders from Governor Denning to investigate a case] Is this official business, or is this a favor?
Steve: What difference does it make?
Danny: Well, it makes a very big difference, you see, because official business is, uh, official. A favor is like a quid pro quo kind of deal, right? You solve this murder case for me, and I will give you, uh, oh, five days' paid vacation. Right? Or tickets to Monster Truck Jam, or whatever.
Steve: Monster Truck Jam's not in town.
Danny: Okay, so then it is, indeed, official business.
Steve: Exactly.

Danny: It seems to me like we're taking a case just to protect the governor's friends.
Steve: We're the governor's task force.
Danny: Then why does it feel like we are performing janitorial services, blindfolded, I might add.
Steve: We've been given a directive, Danny.
Danny: Oh, right, I understand. When McGarrett gets an order, he takes the order. You know what you're like? You're like one of those windup toy soldiers. Let me get you a drum for Christmas to beat.

Hookman [3.15][edit]

[Five-0 has just taken down Curt Stoner, and McGarrett checks his body. He suddenly sees Ben Keoki, Troy Ookala, and his own father smiling at him]
Ben Keoki: We just wanted to thank you, Steve.
Steve McGarrett: [shakes John's hand] Dad.
John McGarrett: You're all I could've hoped for in a son, Steven. I'm proud of you.
Danny Williams: Steve, come on!
Steve: Give me a sec! [looks back to officers to see they're gone]

Kekoa [3.16][edit]

Paani [3.17][edit]

Na Kiʻi [3.18][edit]

Hoa Pili [3.19][edit]

[Steve is teaching Kamekona how to fly a helicopter using a flight simulator video game at his house]
Kamekona: Ten-year post-parole plan is working out. I got my shave ice, I got my shrimp, and when I officially open Kamekona's Island Tours, that'll be my entrepreneurial peak. Like King Kamehameha landing on Waikiki, I'll rule Oahu.
[Catherine comes back from a surf sporting a bikini. Kamekona and Steve both look at her]
Catherine: Aw boys and their toys. How cute.
Kamekona: This ain't no toy, sistah.
Steve: That's right. This is the most technologically advanced flight simulator on the market.
Catherine: Huh. Well, it looks a whole lot like a video game to me.
[Steve and Kamekona turn back to the video game]
Steve and Kamekona: [on TV screen, simulator helicopter is about the crash] Oh up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up, up! What are you doing? Pull up! Pull up! Pull up, up, up, up, - up, up - Oh!
Catherine: [amused at their reaction] Got two words for you: game over!
Steve: If you crash a helicopter full of paying customers, it's not gonna be good for your tour business. You understand?
Kamekona: I was distracted, brah. Sistah came in dressed like that. How am I supposed to not look?
Catherine: Aw. Kammy, if you hadn't crashed in the middle of the ocean, I might have taken you out for a drink.
Kamekona: That's the beauty of a flight simulator. When you flame out, just hit restart.
Steve: [after he gets called to a case, to Cath] I got to go. See you later?
Catherine: Hope so.
Kamekona: Don't worry. I'll bring her back in one piece.
Steve: Repeat after me: Altitude is my friend.
Kamekona: "Altitude is my friend." Roger that.

Danny: Why would a tourist want to be put into a cage and then dunked into shark-infested waters? It makes no sense.
Steve: 'Cause they're on vacation. You know, they want some some excitement, some adventure.
Danny: They need to do therapy.

Danny: What I do know is that I do not do not feel comfortable with that man piloting three tons of steel over the town where my daughter lives.

Steve: Maybe you'd like to explain to me how your fingerprints ended up on this discarded gas can right by the crime scene.
Craig: Eye for an eye. It's in the Bible.
Danny: So is, "Thou shalt not kill." You skip that chapter or what?
Craig: Hey, my brother was murdered. What, do you expect me to go back to work?
Steve: No. We expect you to mourn, and then plan a funeral for your brother. Not go out and try burying more people.

[Steve, Danny and Max are in Kamekona's helicopter flying over the islands. Max suddenly starts singing the Magnum, P.I. theme.]
Danny: Hey, hey! What are you doing? You getting a seizure? Stop it.
Max: I just felt the Magnum, P.I. theme was appropriate.
Kamekona: Oh, I used to love that show. Higgy Baby was the man.
Max: I was very fond of Higgins myself. And Commander McGarrett shares the same Navy SEAL lineage as Magnum, and... [looks sheepishly at Danny]
Danny: And what? What? I'm not Rick, okay?
Max: Well, everyone can agree that you're Commander McGarrett's humorous sidekick. [Steve chuckles]
Kamekona: And if we're playing this game, it's obvious who I am: the dashing chopper pilot, T.C.

Olelo Paʻa [3.20][edit]

[Steve flashes back to "hell week" during SEAL training]
SEALs chanting in unison: I will never quit! I persevere and thrive on adversity! My nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies!

[Steve is telling Catherine about Freddie Hart and flashes back to when he was trying to dissuade Freddie from quitting.]
Steve: Yeah, it was just me and your old man and a bottle of whiskey. All right, and he opened up to me, started giving me this speech about how a man needs something to believe in, something to fight for. And according to him, there was no greater cause than the United States of America.
Freddie: He said all that, huh?
Steve: Yeah, he did.
Freddie: Yeah? Okay?
Steve: You know what else he said? He said the proudest moment of his life is when you joined up for SEALs.
[present time]
Steve: They say every BUD/S class has its surprises. Freddie was ours. After that night, he was unstoppable. He became the best student, the toughest soldier, the guy that everybody could depend on. He never, ever gave up.
Catherine: I think some of it must have rubbed off on you.

Steve: What exactly you drinking there?
Frank: That is snake's blood and rice wine. God's nectar. It's also an aphrodisiac.
Steve: Yeah.
Frank: 36 hours of lead in your pencil, and doesn't cost $13 a pill.
Steve: You know? That's too much information, Frank.

Frank: [warns Steve and Catherine] If you make it to the end, you're in North Korea. Only problem after that-- heavily fortified group of terrorists that are not known for hospitality. If, by chance, you make it out alive, you're stuck in a country of 25 million people who hate Americans.

Imi Loko Ka ʻUhane [3.21][edit]

Savannah Walker: Hi Commander McGarrett.
Steve: Hi.
Savannah: Hi, I understand you were handpicked by the late Governor Jameson, uh, to lead Five-O, and tasked with cleaning up crime on the islands. That's, um, a pretty awesome task.
Steve: [looks uncomfortably at Savannah and then the camera] Uh, I'm sorry, was I supposed to say something back to you?
Savannah: [speechless] Well, that's how an on-camera interview works. I, um, ask the questions, and then you answer.

Chin Who is Wo Fat? Wo Fat is a ruthless son of a bitch. [catches himself] W–Wait, can I say that on TV?
Savannah: You already did.

Savannah: Sadly, after this interview, I learned that Lieutenant Kelly lost someone very dear to him, his wife, Malia, as a direct result of a Five-O investigation. Now, out of respect, I won't go into further detail, but what I will tell you is that despite their personal losses, Five-O has forged an incredible bond, one akin to family, or what the locals refer to as "ohana".

[Savannah is sitting at the back of Danny's car as he and Steve are driving to question a suspect]
Savannah: Okay, let me get this straight-- this is Detective Williams' car, but Commander McGarrett does all the driving?
Steve: It's 'cause I'm the better driver.
Danny: He's a control freak. That's why he drives.
Steve: And he's got issues with, uh, the truth.
Savannah: Okay.
Danny: [looks at Steve] Why don't you tell her about the remote control thing you got?
Steve: What remote control thing?
Danny: The thing where you come to my house and you grab the clicker and you got to be in charge and you got to pick which TV station we watch.
Steve: Okay, the way I was brought up...
Danny: Uh-huh.
Steve: [shrugs] ...it's polite to let the guest choose, oh, what you're gonna watch on TV, all right?
Danny: Okay. Fair enough. What about having to be first through every single door? Or having the last word every conversation? Or picking where I eat lunch every single day?
Steve: You.
Danny: Why? What-what does Emily Post have to say about that? Hmm?
Steve: I mean, you're indecisive. I can't help it if you're indecisive.
Danny: I'm not indecisive. You're a control freak.
Savannah: [to the camera, Steve and Danny continue arguing in the background] These two fight, but really they love each other.

Hoʻopio [3.22][edit]

He Welo ʻOihana [3.23][edit]

Aloha, Malama Pono [3.24][edit]

[Steve visits Wo Fat at Halawa]
Wo Fat: Thank you for coming, Commander.
McGarrett: Don't flatter yourself. I was coming even if you hadn't asked.
Wo Fat: Yes. You want to know why your mother paid me a visit. I can answer that. But first, you're going to do something for me.
McGarrett: And what's that?
Wo Fat: You're going to get me out of here.
McGarrett: Oh. Is that so? [startled at explosion and automatic gunfire] You set me up?
Wo Fat: Yes, but not in the way you think. They're not here to break me out. They're here to kill me. And you're the only one who can protect me from them.
McGarrett: From who? Who are "they"?

Season 4[edit]

Aloha ke kahi I ke kahi [4.1][edit]

[Wo Fat has been recaptured and now tasked for transport to a Supermax prison in the States. McGarrett talks to him one more time]
Wo Fat: Coach is even worse than I imagined.
Steve McGarrett: Why don't you cut the crap? I just saved your life. Now, tell me, why did my mother come and visit you in prison?
Wo Fat: She came to apologize.
McGarrett: Apologize for what?
Wo Fat: For killing my father.
McGarrett: You killed her husband-- my father-- and then you hunted her for 20 years. Why would my mother ever apologize to you?
Wo Fat: That is a question only she can answer.
McGarrett:I was afraid you were going to say that.
Wo Fat: [calls out McGarrett as he leaves] What are you doing, Steve? What do you think you're going to find? The truth? You don't want to know the truth!

A'ale Ma'a Wau[4.2][edit]

[Danny shows Steve his new Camaro]
Danny: Beautiful, huh?
Steve: Looks nice. [grabs the keys from Danny and gets into the driver's seat]
Danny: What are you doing?
Steve: Let's go.
Danny: That sounds good. You're not gonna let me drive my new car? [no response from Steve, gets into the car] You're a real jerk, you know that?
[Steve pushes on the gas pedal]
Danny: You're grinding the thing. Would you please?!
Steve: [interrupts] I'm not grinding the thing. What are you talking about? This thing is an animal. Let me tell you about Zero to 60 in under five. Under five, okay?
Danny: Mm-hmm.
Steve: Corners like it's stuck to the road. It's a dream. I love this car.
Danny: Are you enjoying yourself?
Steve: I am. [smirks at Danny] I am.

[Danny is trying to dissuade Steve from letting Catherine work with her ex-boyfriend and his fellow SEAL Billy.]
Danny: You see, that is why you will never see it coming, pal. You are complacent, okay? You need to fortify your position. At all times, at all times, you need to protect your queen like, uh, chess.
Steve: No, not like in chess, Danny. In chess, the queen is a fighting piece, and you use her to protect the king.
Danny: What are you talking about?
Steve: Okay, okay. It was a metaphor.
Danny: It was a metaphor for you losing the best thing that ever happened to you.

Danny: [watches Steve and Catherine kissing at the side during the game] There's no kissing in baseball, Steve.

Ka 'oia'i'o ma loko [4.3][edit]

[Steve and Catherine have some time together]
Steve McGarrett: You nervous about today?
Catherine Rollins: I just can't believe after so many years, today's the last day that I'm going to be putting on a uniform.
McGarrett: Look, I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you it's an easy transition, because it's not, okay? But you're gonna be fine. I mean, you should be excited. This is, uh It's like a new chapter in your life. It's-it's the beginning of an adventure.
Rollins: Are you sure it doesn't bother you?
McGarrett: What?
Rollins: Billy being my new boss?
McGarrett: Why, because he's your ex? No, it doesn't bother me.I'm fine.
Rollins: You're lying.
McGarrett: Totally lying. Well, of course I'm lying. Look, I trust you, okay? That's all I need.

[Danny gets wind of Catherine's new job]
Danny: Law of nature says that if you take a boy rabbit, and you take a girl rabbit, and you put 'em into a cage together over a long period of time, what do you think is going to happen?
Steve : Are you real––are you really doing it? Are you really gonna compare Billy and Catherine to rabbits?
Danny: We're all animals.
Steve: We're not rabbits.
Danny: But we are animals, and this is my point. It is a fact, after these long nights, long, hardworking nights, bad Chinese food, law of nature says, these two people are going to have a moment
Steve: A moment?
Danny: A moment.
Steve: A moment.
Danny: A moment where they look at each other in the eye, and bing, just like that, everything comes back. All those old feelings and you're gonna have nobody else to blame but yourself, because you let her take a job with her ex-boyfriend.

A ia la aku [4.4][edit]

[Steve and Danny are watching a movie with Catherine and Gabby]
Steve: What, did I miss something? I mean, the music just went all sad.
Danny: That's because that's how the filmmakers want you to feel. Sad. See?
Steve: Well, no, this is supposed to be a romantic comedy. This is neither romantic nor funny. I don't understand what's happening.

Danny: Weddings, I tell you, every time. It's a bad idea. You got dysfunctional family members. Bunch of bitter friends. And they're all fueled by an open bar. Something terrible is bound to happen.
Steve: And you wonder why you're divorced.

Danny: [hypothesizing about cause of death] This guy and another guy, they get into a beef over, uh, I don't know, let's say they brought it to the reception. They end up back in the room here, uh, get into a little fisticuffs. Uh, this guy doesn't realize his buddy has a gun. Bang, here he is.
Chin Ho: Interesting. Very detailed theory. I particularly enjoyed your use of the word "fisticuffs".

Steve: Let me ask you a question then. If Gabby asked you to put your career on hold and move to Denver, would you do that?
Danny: No, I wouldn't do that. But I got a daughter who lives here. It's not the same thing.
Steve: Plus you'd miss me too much.
Danny: Plus I'd miss you too much.
Steve: There you go.

Kupu'eu [4.5][edit]

Joe White: You wanna go for a ride?
Danny: Yeah, sure.
Joe: But I'm driving.
Danny: Oh, yeah, yeah, the story of my life.

Joe: Is this what you and Steve do? Bicker in the car like an old married couple?
Danny: Bicker? Oh no, we don't bicker. We argue all the time but we don't bicker.

[Steve, Catherine and Chin Ho Kelly corner a dangerous suspect in the toilet]
Catherine: Jason, we know you're hurt. We'll get you help but first we need to know that you're not armed.
[Jason shoots at Five-0 through the toilet door]
Steve: He's armed.
Catherine: Ya think?!

Kupouli 'la [4.6][edit]

Danny: It's a violation however you look at it. The sanctity of my home has been violated.
Steve: It's toilet paper, Danny. It's a couple of kids having fun on Halloween. What's the big deal?
Danny: The big deal is, in my opinion, this is how most decent kids turn to a life of corruption.
Steve: [looks at Danny in disbelief] Excuse me?
Danny: Yeah. TP-ing is a gateway crime. Ok? It starts with toilet paper and then next thing you know, armed robbery.
Steve: You know what, Danny, if that's the case, I really hope you catch these hardened criminals and I'm sure it's gonna be a career case for you.
Danny: You're making fun.
Steve: I'm not making fun. I'm serious.

Steve: Hey, let's go.
Danny: No...I, uh...I can't go. Can't do it. Sorry.
Steve: Can't do what?
Danny: I can't do caves or tunnels or cramped spaces, anything where I feel like a rat. I can't.
Steve: [surprised] You're claustrophobic?
Danny: A little bit. Yeah.
Steve: [looks into tunnel and then at Danny] Ok...well, uh...wait here.
Danny: Ok. I'm sorry. I just...I can't.
Steve: [shrugs it off] No...I mean, what are you gonna do right?
Danny: Thanks.
[Steve goes into the tunnel but stops and turns back.]
Steve: Hey, Danny. How did it take me four years to learn that about you?
Danny: I don't know. Maybe you don't pay such close attention to me.

Ua Nalohia [4.7][edit]

Steve: This morning, where were you?
Jason Decker: Complying with the state's own constitutional invasion of my physical sovereignty.
Danny: [confused] Come again?
Decker: I was peeing in a cup for my PO.

Mary: I'll just call Child Protective Services and Joan will have to be placed in foster care for a while. I just hope that the trauma doesn't affect her cognitive development.
Steve: "Cognitive"? You don't even know what that word means.
Mary: You're a horrible uncle, you know that?
[Later, Steve walks into the Five-O headquarters with baby Joan strapped in a carrier. Danny sees him and starts laughing.]
Steve: Is this funny to you?
Danny: Yeah!
Steve: So when you're through amusing yourself, I need you to wipe down and change her pads, please.
Danny: [smirks] Not at all. I'm retired, you see. And it's gonna be way too entertaining to see Uncle Steve on diaper duty, so go ahead.
Kelly: Hey, why is there a baby attached to your chest?

Decker: Where's my money?
Steve: Where's your money? Good news is, we got your money and your guns. Bad news is, we got your money and your guns.


Ha'uoli La Ho'omoaika'i [4.9][edit]

Aunt Deb: Well, look at you. Let me see. I see a little gray fleck up there. I think it makes you look very distinguished.
Steve: [smiles] Thank you very much.
Deb: [looks down and frowns at the tattoos on Steve's biceps] The tattoos, not so much.

[Deb is buying turkey at the supermarket but is given a small one.]
Deb: That's the best you got? The runt of the litter?
Butcher: Next time, plan ahead.
Deb: Oh thank you for that sage advice.

[Aunt Deb has been arrested]
Steve: Do you wanna tell me what happened?
Deb: [sheepishly] Well...I needed some grass and, uh, how was I supposed to know the guy was a narc?
Steve: What?
Deb: I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for those fascists at the dispensary. They wouldn't take my card.

Deb: [to Catherine] You know, Steve has that "tough guy" act down pat but underneath it all he's still that vulnerable little guy who thought he lost his mom and had to grow up too soon. And Mary, she's the only one who really gets that about him because she lived it too. Once I'm gone, they're gonna need each other more than ever, even though they both won't want to admit it. They're like kids.

Steve: What the matter ? You're all right?
Danny: Why wouldn't I be all right?
Lou Grover: Well, you do seem a little nervous.
Danny: Nervous? We're about to meet the President. Why are you so zen? That's a better question. All of you.
Steve: I was nervous too, the first time.
Danny: The first time? When did you meet the President?
Steve: I can't tell you that. That's classified.
Danny: Oh, it's classified, huh? Was it during Operation Strawberry Fields?
Steve: [mumbles to himself] I've already said too much.

Ho'onani Makuakane [4.10][edit]

Narrator of US military newsreel: Look at them go! Our ever-ready servicemen enjoying a little R&R on the exotic island of Oahu, the gathering place of the Hawaiian Islands, where a veritable tropical paradise meets a bustling metropolis. But after a day of sand and surf, it's back to work for these lucky boys serving Uncle Sam on the most beautiful place on Earth. Keep up the good work, fellas! America's proud of you!

Ezra Clark: Leave before I call the cops!
Steve: Uh, sir, we are the cops.
Clark: I've never heard of "Five-O".
Steve: Ok, how about...here, I'll show you my badge again. [takes out his badge]
Clark: [indignantly] Son, are you implying I can't see or read?!

Danny: I see what's happening. You know what you're becoming, right?
Steve: But you're gonna tell me, aren't you.
Danny: A big softie.
Steve: [mutters to himself] I was right.
Danny: With a bleeding heart. Which somehow you don't have. I don't know, maybe you're becoming a human being, Steve.

[at the former site of the Honouliuli Internment Camp, ex-internee David Toriyama tries to recall memories of his father's death]
David Toriyama: [describing place as he walks] The main guard tower was here. An American soldier sat up there behind a 30-caliber machine gun. Someone was watching our every move. This is where my mother had her garden. The ground was so sandy. She could only grow root vegetables- parsnips, carrots, radishes. And this is where she collapsed when we got the news that Kenji had been killed in Italy. Listen. Can you hear her cry? I still can. Here. Right here. This is the place. This is where we lived.

[Steve has a moment of silence facing the Arizona Memorial and sees David Toriyama behind him]
David Toriyama: I remembered why your grandfather's picture was in our family photo album. There was this young serviceman who used to come to our house for tutoring. He and his wife were about to have another child and he wanted better for them, so he asked my father to help him prepare for an officer aptitude test. For three months, he would come over after dinner, and when he had spare time, he'd play catch with me. That man was your grandfather Steven McGarrett. And the last time I saw him was December 6, 1941. The night he gave me this. [gives Steve a catcher's mitt; Steve tests its grip] It was a gift for my father's help. You have his heart. That's how I remembered.
Steve McGarrett: Mahalo.

Pukana [4.11][edit]

Danny: [surprised to see Lou Grover and his daughter Samantha] What's up, Lou? What, uh, what are you doing here?
Lou: Well, we're doing a little community service as penance for someone's recent transgression. [glares at Samantha]
Danny: Ah.
Samantha: Daddy, I said I was sorry.
Lou: Yeah, I remember. [Samantha rolls her eyes in response] [turns to Danny] Do yourself a favor. Don't let yours grow up.
Danny: No, I don't want her to grow up at all.

Chin Ho: [chuckles at the sight of Danny in a t-shirt and denim shorts] Guess it's casual Friday. Must have missed the memo.
Danny: Oh, that'd be funny if it wasn't Tuesday.
Steve: [to Chin] Annual beach cleanup at Gracie's school.
Danny: Right. Which I'd much rather be spending my Christmas Eve over there than with a dead guy, all right? So if we could speed this up, that'd be nice.

[Steve and Danny enter the morgue and see Max trying to extract a bullet from the victim]
Steve: Hey, Max.
Max: Oh, gentlemen, come on in. You are just in time.
Danny: Time for what? A game of Operation?
Max: I would prefer if you would refrain from making your mildly entertaining witticisms as this takes complete concentration.
Danny: Yeah, no, I know you don't want to make the buzzer go off, right?
Max: [looks at Steve] I don't envy you, Commander.

[Steve and Danny walk into Steve's office and catch Kamekona singing "Tiny Bubbles" and playing his ukelele]
Danny: What are you, uh, what are you doing?
Kamekona: "Tiny Bubbles." Written by Leon Pober, released by Don Ho in 1966.
Danny: Ah, and butchered by you here in 2013.
Steve: [grins] I liked it.
Kamekona: [grumbles under his breath] "Butchered". [hands Steve his ukelele and a piece of paper] This is for you, brah.
Steve: What is it?
Kamekona: Cost of doing business.
Steve: [looks at paper] No. This is this-this is $300. [Kamekona looks at him] What do you–– $300 for a ukulele?!
Kamekona: That's koa wood, brah. And good information does not come cheap. Especially during the holiday season.
[Steve grudgingly takes out his wallet and pays Kamekona]
Danny: Wow. You actually have a wallet.

Lou: Oh, you buying?
Catherine: Yeah.
Steve: Who invited you?
Lou: This Grinch act of yours, just-just stop it. You know you like me. You just have difficulty expressing your feelings.
Danny: [to Lou] I don't know how he feels about you, but he definitely likes a free meal. That I know.
Steve: [turns to Danny] What's that supposed to mean??
Danny: [to Steve] Well, I don't want to put a fine point on it, but you are cheap.
Lou: [under his breath] Yeah. Oops.

O kela me keia manawa [4.12][edit]

[Steve and Lou are in the car to interview suspects, Danny is in his car]
Steve: [on the phone with Danny] How about you?
Danny: Me? I'm sick.
Steve: I mean, she's only gonna be gone for a couple of days, Danny, okay?
Danny: You're missing the point. She did the drop-and-run, Steve, okay? Not even barely a kiss on the cheek. All right? And this is not the first time. This is not the first time that I have looked in my girl's eyes and seen something different. I don't know what it is. It's like her innocence is, uh, floating off into space or something. I don't know what.
Steve: Ah, well, she's growing up, ok? What are you gonna do?
Danny: Build a time machine. I'm gonna go back in time when she was just a baby, before I met you, to a happy time in my life.
Steve: Ok. Good luck with that.
Danny: [unamused] You think this is funny, don't you?
[Lou signals for Steve to pass the phone to him]
Lou: Yeah, listen, it gets worse. Oh, yeah. Yeah, wait till she asks you to take her bra shopping, huh. Or when the first boyfriend shows up. You're gonna love that. You ain't seen nothing yet, pal, so put on your big-boy pants because Father Time is not your friend.
Danny: Will you put Steve back on, please? [Lou passes the phone back to Steve]
Steve: Yeah.
Danny: Do not, under any circumstances, ever do that to me again.
Lou: [shouts into phone] Truth hurts, don't it?
Danny: Okay, put him back on.
Steve: Okay. [passes phone to Lou]
Lou: I'll tell you something else... [Danny hangs up on them]

Steve: I can slow down if you, uh, if you can't keep up.
Lou: You know, my old man once told me never mistake somebody who's moving fast with somebody who knows where they're going.
Steve: Yeah, all due respect, your old man didn't know me. I move fast and I know where I'm going.
Lou: [sarcastically] Boy, I wish I was half as good as you think you are. [swats an insect near his ear] Ouch!
Steve: [takes a drink from his water bottle] Long way from Chicago, huh?

Steve: I know you're not gonna go home, sit in your rocking chair and wait on a call from me, okay? You're gonna be out here making a mess of things, you know? Get in my way, so I figured I'd do myself a favor, right? Save myself the trouble. But you're only half right. Catherine Rollins is on reserve duty. I got Danno on the North Shore, I'm short-handed so I thought about it and figured you were competent enough to tag along.
Lou: Competent enough? Well, you ain't exactly Mount Rushmore material yourself, you know.

Danny: [sees Lou at the dinner table] What's, uh what's going on here?
Steve: What are you talking about?
Danny: Well, you know, first you invite him over for Thanksgiving. Then you guys, uh you guys partner up. Now he's in the kitchen cooking chili, watching the game. People are gonna think you two like each other or something.
Steve: I don't know. H-He's not that bad.
Danny: No?
Steve: No, he's not that bad. I mean, he's, uh he's a bit he's a bit thick-headed, but he makes a great chili.
Danny: Oh, that's good. So he's like you, but he can cook.

Kamekona: Bruddah, I don't think it's chili unless you have spam in it.
Lou: Where I come from, spam is a controlled substance. Eat up.

Hana Lokomaika'i[4.13][edit]

[John McGarrett eulogizes Kam Tong Kelly]
John McGarrett: In Ecclesiastes, we're told to everything there is a season. A time to every purpose under heaven. Time to be born. Time to die. Time to laugh. Time to weep. This is one such time. Kam Tong Kelly was the best man I ever knew. His love of life was exceeded only by his love of family, which everyone here today was a member. A life full of commendations and awards meant nothing to him compared to the pride that he felt when his eldest son, Chin Ho, enrolled in the police academy. It is through him that Kam Tong's legacy continues. A legacy that embraces all of us who were lucky enough to have known him.

Na Hala a ka makua [4.14][edit]

[As Roy Parrish holds McGarrett and Danno at gunpoint, they talk about their daughters]
Roy Parrish: How old's your daughter? Eleven? Twelve? Where were you when she was born? I bet you were right there. You probably held her in your arms and heard her first little cry. Wouldn't be surprised if you cut the cord. You probably did, didn't you? You know where I was?
Danny Wiliams: No.
Parrish: Max seg, Otter Creek, Wheelwright, Kentucky. By the time I was released, my little girl was already six years old. With my record I was lucky if I could see her a couple hours every weekend. I'd take her to the park and push her on a swing and buy a shaved ice. You know what that's life. I was there every Saturday, no matter what, until I till I went up again. The years kept piling up, one after another. By the time I got out, she wasn't a little girl anymore. Already made up her mind what kind of man I was. I figured that new job I had was my chance to make a little bit of money. Maybe put her in college, do something right for once in my life.

[Roy Parrish's daughter reads one of her father's letters]
Roy Parrish: I'm still holding out hope that one day you'll read these letters. Because my biggest fear isn't that I'll spend the rest of my life in prison for a crime I didn't do, it's that I'll die in here without getting the chance to tell you how proud I am of you and how much you mean to me. The time we spent together were the happiest moments of my life. And I want you to know that there's nothing that's made me happier than being your daddy.

Pale'la [4.15][edit]

Hoku Welowelo [4.16][edit]

Steve: I've been thinking a lot about our last conversation. How you wanted to know what brought me back to Hawaii. Well, a month ago, I would've told you it was to find the man who killed my father. I realized it was about more than that. I lost somebody. Somebody really close to me. He, um he gave his life to save mine.
Lou Grover: What was his name?
Steve: His name was Freddie Hart. He was a team guy. We went through BUD/S together. We always had each other's back. He was my brother. More than anything else in this world, Freddie wanted to be a father. That was it. He would've been a great father, too. Anyway, after he died, um the Navy didn't feel the same. When the governor offered me Five-O I jumped at it.
Lou: You ran away.
Steve: Yeah.

[After Danny kicks up a fuss about Steve arranging for his mom Clara to ride along with Lou without his knowledge.]
Danny: Just stop for one second, okay? All I am saying is that a heads-up would've been nice. Okay? That's all.
Steve: You're so worked up about this.
Danny: Oh, oh, okay, listen, um, I know this may seem like a foreign concept to you, but the idea of my mother being in harm's way-- it does not sit well with me.
Steve: You got to give her more credit, Danny. I mean, she survived you.
Danny: [deadpan] Ah. You're not a good friend. In fact, you're no longer my friend.

Clara: So, Captain, I really appreciate you showing me around. Well But I'm a little old for a babysitter. I mean, I loved going to the police museum, and the M.E. was riveting. But I was kind of hoping for something, you know, a little more adventurous.
Lou: Well, I hate to disappoint, but, uh, me taking you into the middle of a dangerous situation...
Clara: That's not gonna happen?
Lou: You know that's not gonna happen.
Clara: Not even, like, a sketchy donut shop or something?
Lou: I see where that boy of yours gets his bite.

Lou: I figure we ought to get you guys a Five-O Grover signal. That way, you can just throw it up in the sky when you need me.
Danny: Trust me, nobody wants to see your name in lights.

Ha lalo o ka ili[4.17][edit]

Ho'i Hou[4.18][edit]

Ku I Ka Pili Koko[4.19][edit]

Pe'epe'e Kanaka [4.20][edit]

[After some prodding by Chin Ho at spearfishing, Lou Grover dives down and catches a big fish]
Lou Grover: "A city boy", my ass.
Chin Ho: Take a look at that sucker.
Lou: How many did McGarrett get on his first try, you say?
Chin Ho: Half a dozen.
Lou: Oh.
Chin Ho: But I'll tell you what that's three times bigger than anything he caught.
Lou: You got your phone?
Chin Ho: Yeah.
Lou: Take a picture and send it to him.
Chin Ho: Oh, come on. You sure you want to kick up that hornet's nest?
Lou: Oh, hell yeah, I do! Come on, just take a picture.
Chin Ho: [as Lou poses] All right. All right. All right. Ready? Smile.

Steve: Physical therapy appointment huh?
Danny: Yeah, yeah, my mandatory hour of joy with Nurse Ratchet, thanks to you.
Steve: Thanks to me?
Danny: Uh-huh.
Steve: What, you're gonna blame that building collapsing on us on me?
Danny: I am.
Steve: And how exactly am I responsible?
Danny: Well, about four years ago, you can knocking on my door and told me that I had no choice but to work with you, so I figured everything that's terrible that happened to me since was your fault. You're like a cloud, a dark cloud, that never goes away.
Steve: Do me a favor, when you see Nurse Ratchet, have her, uh, check your head while she works the rest of you over, 'cause you got some damage up there, too.

Lou Grover: Well, excuse me, Jacques Cousteau. You know, jealousy is an ugly cloak, my friend. You do not wear it well.
Steve: "Jealousy"? No, no, no. Look, that fish was probably old, depressed, you know, maybe a little, uh, senile, you know, swimming around looking for a tiger shark to end his days, and then bumped into you.
Lou: A senile, depressed fish?
Steve: [deadpan] That's right.
Lou: [smirks] You are some piece of work, McGarrett, you know that?

Steve: [removes a bullet from Lou's bullet-proof vest] Look at that. Lucky twice in one day.
Lou: Only you can see getting shot as being lucky.

[Steve tries to talk some sense into Dawn Hatfield in the interrogation room]
Steve McGarrett: There was enough hardware in that house to make three bombs, Dawn. Why don't you tell me your plan? Maybe detonate an IED on the road leading into the Air Force base? Wipe out some innocent soldiers, then what, a couple of secondary devices to shred up the first responders? That sound about right?
Dawn Hatfield: "Innocent" soldiers? They drop bombs thousands of feet in the air, killing innocent women and children like cowards!
Steve: Cowards? You want to talk about cowards? You should have said so. Okay, let's talk about cowards. Why don't we start with your boy Nazaria, your mentor? Let's start with him. Where is he? He's hiding in a cave in the mountains of Yemen. You think that traitor cares about you? You think that piece of garbage gives a damn that your friends are dead and that you're gonna spend the rest of your God-forsaken life rotting in some federal prison?
Dawn: Muhammed Nazaria is a warrior; he's a soldier of God, pursuer of the truth and the light, okay? He is the leader!
Steve: Leaders lead from the front. And I don't see him, do you? Where is he? Don't you get it, Dawn? They found you, okay? Because they look for people like you. They look for people who are vulnerable, people who are emotionally fragile, who have a big wound on the inside, who are trying to get back at somebody for something. And they make you feel like you're an important part of something, a cause a cause bigger than you. So big, in fact, that it's worth giving your life for.
Dawn: I am a soldier of Allah, and we must fight you as you fight us. Those of us that believe must fight in the cause of God!
Steve: What are you talking about? These words that are coming out of your mouth, they're not even your words! They're phrases that have been cherry-picked from a holy book and tailored to fit the lies they've told you. Listen to me, all right? I get that it was rough growing up, your mom was alcoholic, your old man, he was never around, I get it. How old were you when he died? You were, like, eight or nine, right? I lost my old man, too. I know what it's like to lose a parent.
Dawn: I didn't lose him. He died, okay? He died fighting your imperialistic war against the peaceful children of Allah!
Steve: You're wrong. Your dad was a hero, okay? He was a patriot, a soldier fighting for his country, Dawn. You gotta remember him. What would he make of all this? You gotta know, somewhere inside you, that this is wrong. Some shred of regret.
Dawn: My only regret is that you stopped me.

Makani 'Olu a Holo Malie [4.21][edit]

Lou: [notices Danny smiling] What are you smiling about?
Danny: Well, taking down a couple corporate scumbags...perfect way to end the day, right?
Lou: Yes, sir.

[A Taliban member prepares to behead Steve in an execution video]
Taliban Militant: Peace be upon those who believe. And to those who do not, know this: until you bow to His will you will never be safe. We shall bring the fight to your shores. Blood will be spilt in your streets and men like this [gestures to Steve] they cannot protect you. America is full of nothing but lies and debauchery. You are a nation without values. A nation of infidels. And now let this man's death be a lesson to you all. This is what- [video is interrupted by SEALS raiding the room and killing them]

[Catherine has told Steve she's staying in Afghanistan to find Najib]
Steve McGarrett: I'm gonna come back, all right? I'm gonna come back. We can do this together. I'll help you find him.
Catherine Rollins: Steve, no.
Steve McGarrett: Catherine...
Catherine: No, listen to me. You've helped me enough, okay? It's better for me to do this alone. I can keep a low profile that way. It's just easier. You know I'm right. You understand why I need to do this, don't you?
Steve: [sniffles] Yeah, of course I do. You just promise me...
Catherine: I promise you I'll be careful. I'll be careful, okay?
Steve: I love you, you know.
Catherine:I love you, too.
Steve: Okay.
Catherine: All right.
Steve: Good luck, Cath.

O ka Pili'Ohana ka 'Oi[4.22][edit]

[As Lou Grover talks to his daughter, Ian Wright cuts in on Samantha's end]
Lou Grover: Let me talk to my daughter.
Ian Wright: Oh, whatever you say, Pops.
Samantha Grover: Daddy, what's going on?
Lou: Samantha, honey, I want you to listen to me very carefully. The man that you're with is a very dangerous fugitive.
Samantha: Now, he's gonna want to hurt you Daddy, I'm scared.
Lou: Now-Now I know you're scared, but I need you to be strong. I'm gonna find you. I promise you. I'm gonna find you.
Ian: Now you got her all freaked out. All right? That's not going to help this thing at all.
Lou: You little son of a bitch. What do you want?
Ian: Stay close to your phone, I'll be in touch. And obviously, this stays between us. Tell any of your cop buddies about this, and you'll be using your daughter's college fund to pay for a funeral.

[Lou Grover is angry that an entrapment operation did not go well]
Lou Grover: It's not? You see any money in there? Because I don't! And without that money, my daughter is just as good as dead! [slams door] Aw! [sighs] Oh, God, she's just a baby. I'm-I'm so sorry, Samantha. [walks away and cries]
Danny Williams: [comes over to comfort him] Listen to me. A few years ago, uh, this guy that I thought I knew, he took my daughter. And, uh you know, I remember back then thinking I got two choices now. I can, uh, I can shut down, start mourning my daughter, or I could do anything and everything it took to run over whatever stood in my way to get my daughter back.
Lou: I can't stop thinking about her. I can't stop thinking about what she must be going through.
Danny: Right now you need to put that on hold. If you want to see Samantha, you stay focused on ending this son of a bitch. You understand?
Lou: Yeah.
Danny: Let's go get this guy.

Season 5[edit]

A'ohe kahi e pe'e ai [5.1][edit]

[Steve and Danny are being interviewed as part of their yearly psychological evaluations.]
Danny: So, uh, we have been together for three years.
Steve: Four.
Danny: See, this is specifically what I'm talking about.
Steve: I was correcting you.
Danny: Ok. Four.
Steve: Three years, eleven months, three days. Exactly.
Danny: You're done? [Steve gives him a "duh" look.]
Psychologist: Detective Williams asked you a question.
Steve: What?
Psychologist: He asked if you were going to allow him to finish his thought.
Steve: Who's side are you on?
Psychologist: I don't take sides, Commander. I'm an objective observer. You know the Governor asked me to oversee the annual psychological audit of personnel and I was concerned by what Detective Williams had to say.
Steve: Ok yeah fine. So we don't agree on a few things but I don't see why that's such a big deal.
Danny: [interrupts] "A few things"? A few things?! We don't agree on anything.

Steve: You wanna know why you spend so much time in the passenger seat?
Danny: [sarcastically] This should be fantastic.
Steve: You wanna know?
Danny: Yeah.
Steve: I get carsick if I don't drive. [Danny scoffs] And he laughs.

Psychologist: So five people make up the Five-O Task Force.
Steve: Yeah, but we're more than a task force you see. We're ohana.
[Danny looks away wistfully]
Psychologist: Why the look, Detective Williams?
Danny: Oh, no, no look. I guess I was just agreeing with him. For the first time. [smiles]
Steve: I think we're good. [smiles]

Ka Makuakane [5.2][edit]

Vice Admiral Graham Rhodes: Now, you know I can't confirm whether Lieutenant Larkin's on a mission, Commander. What I can tell you is, there have been no security breaches on any of our current ops.
Steve: Okay, um, sir, Lieutenant Larkin's daughter was kidnapped just two hours ago, all right? We believe that the mission that he either is or is not on could be the key to getting her back.
VAdm Rhodes: That may be so, but I'm telling you, it's got nothing to do with our ops. You're just gonna have to take my word on that.
Steve: Yeah, with all due respect, sir, we've, uh we've been down this road before, you and I, and oh, you owe me.
VAdm Rhodes: [chuckles] Well, you did save my ass with that Chinese satellite. That much is true.
Steve: You're welcome.
VAdm Rhodes: But, unfortunately, I've said all I can on this matter.
Steve: What about his files? Can you give us access to his files?
VAdm Rhodes: I can do that.
Steve: Okay. If his daughter's kidnapping has anything to do with his service, there'll be a list of suspects there.
Danny: Uh, one more thing, I'm sorry-- um, Angela, his wife, uh, has been trying to get in touch with him. Is there any way we could make that happen? That would be nice.
VAdm Rhodes: I'm sensitive to the situation, Detective. Truly, I am. And I'm sure as soon as Lieutenant Larkin is available, he'll contact his wife.
Steve: Let's go. Thank you.
[Later in the car]
Steve: [sighs] We take an oath, Danny.
Danny: I understand that. But this is about the guy's family.
Steve: You don't think he's got a right to know? Of course he has a right to know, all right? But right now his team needs him focused and ready to lead. You tell him about his daughter, you could put all their lives in danger and compromise the entire mission.
Danny: Well, let me tell you something that you don't know, okay? As a parent, when your child is in trouble, you can sense it. You know about it. Like right now, Lieutenant Larkin, he knows that. He doesn't know why, but he knows it. Don't you think that puts him and his team in just as much danger?

Jerry: [watches Chin run facial recognition software on a suspect] Facial recognition. Total violation of our First Amendment rights.

Steve: Drop the weapon. Drop the weapon, Jason. You got to drop that weapon right now. We know about the accident. We know it wasn't your fault. You got to drop that weapon right now.
Jason: Do you have any idea how it feels to lose someone you love? To live with the guilt that it's your fault?
Steve: No, I can't imagine what that must feel like.
Jason: No, you can't.
Steve: Listen, no parent should have to go through what you went through.
Jason: What do I have to live for?
Steve: Listen to me, there's a family out there right now and they want to see their daughter. I know you don't want to put them through the pain of having to bury that kid. I know that's not what you want, right?

Kanalu Hope Loa [5.3][edit]

Lou: Where's the brains?
Steve: What are you talking about?
Lou: Williams. He's the brains. You're the brawn.
Steve: Okay. What does that make you?
Lou: Me? Come on, man. I'm the pretty face.

[Kono holds up a bright red bikini and stares at Lou after being told she is to go uncover as a surfer]
Kono: You're joking.
Lou: Hey, don't look at me-- this is McGarrett's idea.
Kono: [clears throat] Huh...I'm not wearing this.
Steve: These girls are surfers; we know where they hang out. The only way we're gonna find them is if they don't see us coming. What's the problem?
Kono: Okay, then it falls on me?
Lou: Well, you're the surfer, ain't ya?
Steve: Yeah. Plus, you're the only one who can walk down on that beach without broadcasting "cop". Hey, listen, we need eyes out there, okay? Somebody on that beach must know who these girls are, plus, the alternative is Grover in a Speedo.
Lou: Hey. Couple of years ago, I could've pulled it off, but...[looks down at his belly] Well, you know.
Kono: [sighs] Fine. But I pick the suit.

Lou: [knocks down a suspect who tried to run away] Didn't your mother tell you to look both ways?! [handcuffs suspect] Come on. Let's go to jail.

Kono: [voice-over] Those girls had no idea what they were walking into when they got onto that bus. For them, life as they knew it was simple. It was waking up every day with a desire to catch a better wave than the day before. The adrenaline you feel paddling out knowing that at any time you could get the ride of your life. And then there's the rush of walking on water. Only gods do that. Everything they did was to preserve that life. To surf is to get up every day with a desire to battle something greater than yourself. And those girls just wanted to ride that wave as long as they could. And now their endless summer is over.

Ka Hana Malu [5.8][edit]

[Aunt Deb's boyfriend, Leonard Cassano, asks here about breaking some news, but Steve over hears]
Steve: What news?
Aunt Deb: Short version. Leonard popped the question and I said yes. [shows her engagement ring]
Steve: You're engaged?
Deb: Yeah.
Steve: You've been dating for a couple of months. What's the rush?
Deb: [slaps Steve on the arm] Oh, my pragmatic nephew. Never one for romance or the grand gesture. Honey, you know the country western song "Live Like You Were Dying"?
Steve: Yeah.
Deb: Well, makes more sense when you're actually dying.

Danny: [to Steve] You know what you are? You're like a big marshmallow filled with testosterone.

[Leonard talks to Steve about representing a client Five-0's been going after]
Steve: I got no issue with you being a lawyer, Leonard.
Leonard Cassano: You just don't like my client. I worked for Gino Leone, yeah, but I felt like my real job was to keep the government accountable. There were times they overreached trying to put Gino behind bars.
Steve: Yeah, because they knew he was guilty.
Leonard: But if Gino Leone doesn't have the same right to privacy and self-incrimination as the rest of us, sooner or later, none of us will have those rights. So I gave him my best defense.
Steve: Apparently, you gave him a little more than your best defense. The word is that you helped him bury evidence. I checked you out.
Leonard: I knew you would, that's why I brought this. [picks a box wrapped in brown paper out of a bag] One morning, an envelope was dropped at my office. Inside was a key to a locker in the Penn Station and a note that read, "Destroy anything you find." This box was in the locker.
Steve: What's in it?
Leonard: I don't know. If I had opened this box and there was evidence, morally I would have been compelled to share it with the prosecution. So I didn't open it, but I didn't destroy it either. I would never do that.
Steve: What do you want me to do with it?
Leonard: Do whatever you think is right. I ended my treatment the day before Deb and I got on the boat. There's nothing more they can do. I'm feeling pretty good right now, but in a month or so, I'm going to take a turn for the worse. All I really want to do is spend whatever time I have left making your aunt the happiest woman in the world. We're getting married tomorrow, but I know it wouldn't feel right to her unless you were there and I appreciate you hearing me out. [leaves]

[Leonard and Deb say their wedding vows]
Leonard Cassano: My beautiful Deb. I can't believe that a diagnosis of stage IV cancer could make me the happiest man in the world, but it's.. it's true. You held my hand through chemo, but you were my real treatment. I can't even remember my life before you came along and changed everything. You are my angel, my one in a million and all I want is to be your husband. To cherish every moment we have together. I love you.
Deb McGarrett: I love you. I don't have a way with words the way my darling Leonard has, so, uh, I've chosen to rely on the Gershwin brothers. [sings 'S_Wonderful]
'S wonderful, 'S marvelous,
You should care For me..
'S awful nice 'S paradise 'S what I love To see
You've made my life so glamorous
You can't blame me for feeling amorous
Oh, 's wonderful, 'S marvelous
That you should care For me.

Ke Koho Mamao Aku [5.9][edit]

Wawahi moeʻuhane [5.10][edit]

Uaʻaihue [5.11][edit]

Poina ʻOle [5.12][edit]

Lā Pōʻino [5.13][edit]

Joe White: You know, Steve, if I didn't know better, I would swear there was something on your mind.
Steve: [sighs] You want to do this with me? You want to talk circles with me, huh? You know I got questions.
Joe: And I'm not gonna duck them anymore. You want answers-- I'm here to give you answers. Fire away.

Kelly: It's gonna take more than a wrecking ball to stop Steve.

Joe: You're the closest thing I ever had to a son, Steve, and there's nothing I wouldn't do to protect you.

Powehiweh [5.14][edit]

E ʻImi pono [5.15][edit]

Danny: [walks into Steve's house] He's dead. He is dead. [walks into kitchen]
Steve: Good morning to you, too.
Danny: I swear, I think that I am gonna kill this little punk. [sees Steve making coffee] Nice.
Steve: Okay. Who we killing?
Danny: This, uh, kid in Grace's math class, his name is 'Apane, and he's been texting her nonstop. Text, text, text, text, text, text.
Steve: How do you know he's been texting her?
Danny: Because I bought her a new cellular phone and somehow in the family cloud share plan, whatever you call it, it got mixed up and I'm receiving all of her text messages.
Steve: So you've been spying on her.
Danny: I'm not spying on my kid. What'd I just say? Number one. Number two, it's called parenting, so you know.
Steve: It's also spying.

Danny: You know why you think it's funny? Because you don't understand subtext.
Steve: Subtext. They're two kids talking about candy the day before Valentine's Day. Romance is in the air, Danny.
Danny: Romance is in the air?
Steve: Romance is in the air.
Danny: No, romance is not in the air. You know why? Because she's twelve. There should not be any romance in her airspace, period.

Lou: Anybody bringing a camera to a gunfight got my respect.
Steve: You know, I got to know some of these embeds when I was downrange. I got to tell you, they're a special breed. I mean, they're driven and they're committed, but they're crazy.

Max: And may I ask what Cupid has in store for you?
Dr. Mindy Shaw: I have a date with my Kindle and a nice bottle of Cab.
Max: Ah, how wonderfully pathetic.
Dr. Shaw: What's pathetic is a made-up commercial holiday dedicated to the patron saint of not only love, but of epilepsy, fainting and the plague.
Max: Well, romantics, such as myself, view Valentine's Day as a perfect opportunity to express our true feelings for the one we love.
Dr. Shaw: Saint Valentine was brutally murdered by a Roman emperor.

Lou: Raising kids is a lot like grilling burgers.
Danny: Uh-huh.
Lou: You can't poke them and prod them too much. All you can do is just watch them closely and be there when the flames jump up.
Danny: That's it! There you go. That's fantastic.
Danny: Steve?
Steve: Yeah?
Danny: You got to hear this. Grover is comparing, uh, raising children to, uh, making hamburgers.
Lou: What's the matter with that?
Steve: I like it.
Danny: You like it?
Steve: I like it.
Danny: Right. 'Cause the analogy is free, like, uh, the-the booze is free. The beers are free. Everything is free.

Nanahu [5.16][edit]

[Lou is trying to teach Steve how to play golf. Steve takes a swing.]
Lou: [sighs in dismay] Brother, you're playing what we like to call military golf. Left, right, left, right.
Steve: What am I doing wrong?
Lou: Well, for starters, you're swinging like a gorilla. Don't you remember what I said in the parking lot? This is a game of finesse. The easier you swing, the further that little white ball goes.
Steve: Okay, that doesn't make any sense to me.

[Former U.S. Women's Open champion and Honolulu native Michelle Wie stops by to say hi and greets a star-struck Lou]
Steve: You guys know each other?
Lou: Please ignore my ignorant friend. He just crawled out from under a rock this morning, with a driver in his hand.
Michelle Wie: [to Steve] If you don't mind, I just want to give you a tip. I just saw something from back there.
Lou: Oh, I would yes, please. By all means, yeah, especially if it's free. His motto is, "If it's for free, then it's for me."

Kathy: You know, I spent the last two years of my life just existing. I think it's time to start living again.
Steve: You know don't look back, okay? Just don't look back, whatever you do. You can't change the past. Trust me on that.

Kuka'awale [5.17][edit]

Steve: Take, like, a domesticated canine, you put it in the wild. Okay, but a cat-- they never forgot how to hunt and kill.
Danny: Well, I guess that's why you two get along then. That's why you like cats.
Steve: Yeah.

Danny: Aw, that smells disgusting, Steve. Who microwaves an omelet, huh?!
Steve: The body needs protein. When you're not sleeping, it needs it even more. What is that? What are you doing?
Danny: I'm doing a little, uh, quiz out of this book: uh, "how well you know your partner?". It asked me to list something you were very passionate about.
Steve: Oh, yeah? What'd you write?
Danny: Protein.

Danny: [to Steve] I have seen you personally put yourself in every conceivable life-threatening situation without batting an eye, like it's nothing. But when it comes to talking about your feelings, forget about it, you'd rather chew cyanide.

Steve: [to Danny] Look, man, I was raised differently than you, okay? I wasn't raised in a house with a supportive family encouraging me to share my feelings. And in your case, every feeling. The McGarrett men are a different breed. To them, showing emotion is like showing weakness, you know? I mean, it's stupid, but it's just the way it is.

Pono Kaulike [5.18][edit]

[Danny and Max are at Grace's school for career day]
Danny: So like, uh, like I said, our job is to uphold the laws of this great country. Without policemen, without policewomen, uh, there'd be no order. And order is, um it's the backbone to any civilized society. And, yes, I like doughnuts very much. If anybody has any questions, uh, please, you can ask them now. [points at a boy raising his hand] Yes.
Boy: What's it like cutting up dead people?
Danny: I don't do that.
Boy: [refers to Max] I was asking him.
Max: The vivisection of a once-living organism as a scientific necessity can be quite rewarding if it yields forensic results.
Boy': Is it yucky?
Max: Quite the opposite. Thank you for asking.

Steve: I mean, whoever gave you that classified Intel on the refinery really put themself on the line. Who owes you, Joe?
Joe: It's not who owed me, Steve, it's who owes you. It was your mother.
Steve: That's the real reason I wasn't arrested with Danny?
Joe: Yes. You're welcome.

Kahania [5.19][edit]

Odell: [as he is cutting Steve's hair] The barbershop is an important social institution in this country. It's a community gathering place. Oh, my customers-- they come here, they hang out, they talk story. No one's ever in a hurry to leave, and you know why? It's one of the last bastions where a man can truly unplug from the world. You know, even if it's just for a trim and a shave.

[Odell is frantically making a molotov cocktail to deter the gunman]
Steve: So you're a barber, you're a lawyer, and you're an explosives expert?
Odell: Yeah, my Grandpa Jack was a barber stationed in England during World War II. Uncle Sam liked the boys cleaned up before heading to the front lines. He was assigned to the Combat Demolition Unit. One of his regulars taught him how to make a Molotov Cocktail using hair dye and aftershave. Jack always said, "A piece of knowledge is better than a good tip."
Steve: Good thing you were paying attention, huh?
Odell: There we go. Done. [to Steve, seriously] I'm a pacifist.

Ike Hanau [5.20][edit]

[Danny and assistant medical examiner Dr. Mindy Shaw are stuck in the elevator with the deceased victim.]
Danny: I've heard of stories of people getting stuck in elevators for days-- days.
Dr. Shaw: I really don't think that's gonna happen.
Danny: My cell phone doesn't work, your cell phone doesn't work, the alarm doesn't work. Okay? No one's coming to look at office space because this guy, the office manager, is dead. We have got to be proactive.
Dr. Shaw: Or we can conserve energy.
Danny: We got no food, we got no water. Oxygen level in here is getting very low.
Dr. Shaw: There's plenty of oxygen.

[Danny is hyperventilating due to his claustrophobia]
Dr. Shaw: Listen to me. Everything is gonna be okay.
Danny: Yeah?
Dr. Shaw: Okay, right now, neurotransmitters in your brain have sent the wrong signal Uh-huh? activating your sympathetic nervous system. You just need to ride this out until your parasympathetic nervous system can restore your body to a normal state. That's good.
Danny: Can you do me a favor and speak English, please? Okay.
Dr. Shaw: Your body is lying to you. It's telling you you're in danger, but you're not.
Danny: You're not. So it's like a glitch.
Dr. Shaw: Exactly! It's a glitch.
Danny: Uh-huh.
Dr. Shaw: That's all. Just a glitch. There's no danger.
Danny: No danger.
Dr. Shaw: There's no there's no threat, okay? You're completely safe.
Danny: Absolutely.
Dr. Shaw: Now just breathe. Just relax. Breathe. There you go. You got it.
Danny: Thank you.
Dr. Shaw: You're welcome.

Ua Helele'i Ka Hoku [5.21][edit]

Lou: Well, look on a positive note, the trip was not a total bust. I did manage to score myself six deep-dish pies from Malnati's. Renee and the kids are about to welcome me home a hero.
Steve: [looks at Lou] I'm sorry, did you say that you just flew ten hours straight with a bunch of pizzas in your suitcase? Is that what you said?
Lou: [grins] You're damn right.
Steve: [speechless] Mm.
Lou: And today is your lucky day, because as a result of this unexpected, pleasant little pick-me-up at the airport, I'm gonna cut you in on a slice.
Steve: Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm kind of a thin-crust guy myself, but thank you all the same.

Danny: [sees Kono and Chin arriving at the crime scene] Hey. Welcome to the, uh, freak show. We got 17 Elvises, all of them potential suspects or witnesses.
Jerry: Actually, the correct terminology is "Elvii." But you can also call them ETAs. Elvis Tribute Artists.

Barry Burns: [relieved after being rescued by Steve and Danny] Oh, thank God. Thought I was gonna die in there.
Steve: Like, a couple more hours, you probably would have.
Barry: [glances at his ankle monitor] This thing saved my life.
Danny: Oh, yeah? How's that?
Barry: 'Cause that-that maniac was gonna shoot me in the head, and I said, "Hey "the cops are gonna be alerted right away if this monitor stops registering a pulse."
Steve: You know, it doesn't actually work like that, you know that, right? [Danny is laughing at the side]
Barry: It doesn't? Good thing I didn't know that.

Lou: Oh, Jerry, by the way, I've been meaning to ask you. You're not one of those nuts that thinks Elvis is still alive, are you? Course not.
Jerry: No sane person believes he is. Elvis died years ago. Almost as long as Paul McCartney.
Chin: What? He's one of the two Beatles who actually is still alive.
Jerry: Nope. Died in a car crash in '67. Replaced with a look-alike.
Kono: One very talented look-alike.
Steve: Come on, Jer, everybody knows that's an urban legend.
Jerry: What?
Steve: What "what"?
Jerry: Have you listened to "Strawberry Fields"? The evidence is all there. John confessed.
Lou: Oh sure. And I suppose Ringo shot Kennedy.

Lou: I'll have a strawberry daiquiri.
Steve: Did you say strawberry daiquiri?
Lou: I'm comfortable with my manhood, brother.
Steve: [chuckles] Oh, yes, you are. And deep dish pizzas, strawberry daiquiris. Man, you like the finer things in life.
Lou: I'm a connoisseur.

Hoʻamoano [5.22][edit]

Jerry: You know how many dead bodies I saw before I started hanging out with Five-O? That would be none. Nada. Zero. And the fun doesn't stop there. I mean, let's not forget being accused of robbery, being abducted, having my life's work stolen, and, oh, yeah, then there's that Chinese spy who broke into my house and tried to off me.
Chin: Yeah, we appreciate everything you've done for us, Jer.
Jerry: So where's the love? The aloha? A badge would be nice.

[Danny is questioning a suspect]
Nolan: We came over here for a boys' weekend, all right? You got to believe me, man, we're good guys.
Danny: [laughs] "Good guys"? Good guys? You're a bunch of married, 40-year-old guys come all the way to Hawaii for spring break to hit on college girls. I mean, you must have very understanding wives.

[Chin and Jerry are watching a FBI television broadcast about their suspect, a fugitive wanted for trafficking]
Jerry: I always thought these shows were scripted propaganda created by huge media conglomerates to brainwash the L.I.V.'s. [Chin looks at him blankly] Low-information viewers. They scare the unwitting public into demanding more police on the street and then use it as an excuse to raise taxes to feed the beast that is Uncle Sam.

Luapoʻi [5.24][edit]

Steve: [glances at a glum-looking Danny] You do something wrong? What'd you do wrong?
Danny: I don't know. I've been thinking about it. I'm wracking my brain. I can't figure it out. But Rachel's definitely upset about something.
Steve: You think it's Amber-related?
Danny: Melissa.
Steve: Oh, that's official now?
Danny: Well, yes, it is her name, so I think it's official.

[Danny's ex-wife Rachel tries to tell Danny that her son, Charlie, is suffering from HLH and needs one of his parents as a bone marrow transplant donor]
Danny: Why are you telling me this? [catches on and looks at Charlie] That's my kid? [sees Grace staring at him] How long have you known this, Rachel? You've always known.
Rachel: Danny, I...
Danny: Why would keep something like this from me?
Rachel: Because your life, from the chances that you take.
Danny: The chances I take?
Rachel: See, if anything have happened to you, I didn't want two kids growing up without a father.
Danny: You had no right to do that. You understand that? You had no right to keep that from me, that I got a son. [looks away despondently]
Rachel: I know that you hate me right now, and I don't blame you for hating me, but I am telling you now. We have a son, and there is something wrong with him, something that could kill him. He needs our help.
Danny: Okay. Okay, so what? So, what happens now?
Rachel: You need to take a blood test. It won't take long, only a few minutes... 24 hours to get the results, and then the doctors can decide how to proceed from there.
Danny: And then, they set everything up then?
Rachel: Yes.
Danny: What about Stan? What does he know?
Rachel: He knows now.

Steve: Sir, please. I understand wanting vengeance. I swear to you, I do-- but killing Pelham, it'll feel good for a moment, but that's it. Now, we got enough evidence to put this bastard away. I want him in a prison cell, sir, not you.
Mr. Leddy: What makes you think I'm going to prison? When you get here, you're gonna find two bodies.
Steve: Think about Jenny. Would she really want this? You're not a killer.

A Make Kāua [5.25][edit]

[Chin confronts Adam Noshimuri over meeting Yakuza oyabun Goro Shioma]
Chin Ho Kelly: It's a one-way plane ticket to Tokyo. Leaves tonight. If your relationship with Shioma is so complicated that you can't explain it, I can't let you marry my cousin tomorrow.
Adam Noshimuri: [sets aside ticket] I'm not going anywhere, Chin.
Chin: Then you better convince me why I should let you stay.
Adam: [sighs] Okay. Goro Shioma was my father's mentor. They were as close as brothers. When my father started his business, Goro was the one who staked him the money to get it off the ground. He's made millions off that initial investment and continues to. Look, you don't just walk away from someone like Goro. It had to be done the right way - face to face.
Chin: So what happened?
Adam: I offered to buy him out, but he wouldn't accept. Said the only way out was to leave the same way my father came into the business. With nothing.
Chin: Adam, are you really willing to give up all of this for Kono?
Adam: [chuckles] Yeah, Chin. You know your cousin. She was never one for material things anyway.

Max: Good morning. I have a tuxedo fitting, so I'll be making this quick.
Danny: Oh, what are you doing? You doing powder blue, or, uh, crushed velvet?
Max: While both are valid choices, I will be attending Kono's wedding in a more traditional palate.
Danny: Pea soup green?
Max: Unlike you, Detective Williams, I have no insecurities when it comes to bold colors.
Danny: Insecurities?
Steve: He's right-- you hate color.
Danny: I hate color? I don't hate color. I like color very much.

[Steve and Danny are discussing the case when Catherine walks in wearing her dress]
Catherine: Hey.
Steve: [looks Catherine up and down] Wow.
Catherine: So, you approve?
Danny: Yeah, no, I think, I think what, uh, my ape-like friend meant to say is that you look, uh, fantastic, right?
Steve: [grins] Wow.
Danny: He said it again. All right. Well, I'm gonna let you two talk. And maybe he'll come up with more than one syllable.

[Steve and Danny are interrogating Josh Bennett to find out where the warhead is]
Bennett: You remember where you were when 9/11 happened? Remember what followed? Cause and effect, Commander. We had a chance to neutralize the threat, but we took our boot from off of their throats and now we don't feel safe anywhere. Airplanes, movie theaters, shopping malls... How are we supposed to raise our children in a country when they're constantly looking over their shoulder?
Steve: So what are you gonna do? Kill thousands of innocent people to make that point?
Bennett: It's a small price to pay to ensure the future of this country. Think of all the lives that were lost before Roosevelt finally got us into World War II. And that all started right here, on this island, at Pearl Harbor. What's done is done. By this time tomorrow, we'll be dropping bombs all over the Middle East. Only this time, we're not gonna stop until we turn that place into a parking lot. [Steve is speechless and walks away in anger]
Danny: You know what? The military was right. You are insane. Okay? You're insane.
Bennett: That's been said about a lot of great patriots who had the courage to stand up for what they believe in.

[Steve and Danny are flying out to release a W80 warhead underwater]
Danny: Fantastic. Well, I guess the good news is that dying would be better than looking at your bald head for the rest of my life.
Steve: What are you rambling about?
Danny: I got a nuke at my foot, okay? What am I rambling about? If we don't die, which is a gigantic if, I'm gonna be microwaving eggs with my finger, okay?
Steve: Nobody's gonna die, Danny.
Danny: Oh, really? Look, it's, uh, it's Dr. Strangelove-- he's back. Aren't you the one who said that residual radiation is-is not so bad, but it's the direct contact that is?
Steve: No, I didn't say that exactly.
Danny: Oh, well, you implied it. You basically said ...
Steve: Listen to me, just listen to me.
Danny: that I'm standing on the thing.
Steve: Listen to me, all right? One kid is one thing, Danny, but two kids is something else, all right? And g-guess what, you got two kids now. You got two kids now, and one of them needs you to go home and do something really important for him, all right? So you don't get to die today, even though it would make my life a lot quieter.

Cast and characters[edit]

  • Alex O'Loughlin as Lieutenant Commander Steve McGarrett, USNR (Season 1–present)
  • Scott Caan as Detective Sergeant Danny "Danno" Williams (Season 1–present)
  • Daniel Dae Kim as Detective Lieutenant Chin Ho Kelly (Season 1–present)
  • Grace Park as Officer Kona "Kono" Kalakaua (Season 1–present)
  • Masi Oka as Dr. Max Bergman, Chief Medical Examiner (Recurring, Season 1; Main, Season 2–present)
  • Chi McBride as Captain Lou Grover, HPD (Main, Season 5–present)
  • Michelle Borth as Lieutenant Catherine "Cath" Rollins, USN (ret.) (Recurring, Seasons 1 and 2; Main, Seasons 3 and 4)
  • Lauren German as Senior Special Agent Lori Weston ("also starring", Season 2)
  • Jorge Garcia as Jerry Ortega (Season 5)

External links[edit]

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