Hawaii Five-0 (season 2)

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The following is a list of quotes from the second season Hawaii Five-0.

Haʻiʻole (Unbreakable) [2.1][edit]

[Danny sees Chin Ho Kelly back at the now-decommissioned Five-0 office]
Danny Williams: What's up, buddy? You've been ducking me for about a week now.
Chin Ho Kelly: I've been a little busy.
Danny: You've been busy? What are you doing, putting more of your friends behind bars?
Chin Ho: [miffed] So you think I had a choice?
Danny: Mm-hmm.
Chin Ho: McGarrett was standing over the governor's body with a gun in his hand, Danny. I had a full SWAT team right behind me, who saw exactly the same things. Now, what was I supposed to do?
Danny: That's a good question. I'm glad you asked. Because what I think that you should have done is let Five-O investigate, instead of dismantling it. Instead of running off and joining HPD.

Jenna Kaye: Where are you going? Steve needs our help.
Joe White: He will be fine.
Jenna: How do you know?
White: I trained him.

[the former Five-0 gang try to find McGarrett after he bolts jail]
Kono Kalakaua: I can run his ID, trace his cell, run surveillance.
Chin Ho Kelly: How you gonna do that? You don't have access to HPD's database.
Kono: I'll use your password.
Danny: Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's not a good idea.
Chin Ho: You're not carrying a badge anymore, Kono. I can't guarantee HPD backup.
Kono: You guys are my backup.
Danny: [chuckles] Definitely been hanging out with McGarrett too long now.

[at Kamekona's shave ice shop, the Five-0 gang show Lt Gov Sam Denning the hidden camera footage from Jamieson's murder]
Governor Sam Denning: Commander McGarrett, you have my sincerest apologies for everything you've been through.
Steve McGarrett: With all due respect, sir, I don't need your apologies. What I need you to do is reinstate my Five-0 Task Force so we can go after this son-of-a-bitch right here.
Denning: ...Well no doubt, that Five-0 had an impact on crime. So as Lt. Governor I'll grant your request.
McGarrett: All right! Thank you, sir.
Denning: But there are conditions.
Danny 'Danno' Williams: What conditions?
Denning: Governor Jamieson gave you full immunity to basically run roughshod over every single law on the State's books. That's not gonna happen on my watch. You cross the line, you answer to me.
McGarrett: Understood, sir. But just so you're clear. Sometimes we get put in positions where lives are on the line, and we have to make split-second decisions. The line you're talking about gets a little hard to see.

Ua Lawe Wale (Taken) [2.2][edit]

[Chin Ho, Danny and Steve talk about Lori Weston]
Chin Ho Kelly: What? Why wouldn't she last?
Danny 'Danno' Williams: Well, Let's see what she looks like when she gets done with Sgt. Slaughter's Boot Camp.
Steve McGarrett: What's that supposed to mean?
Danny: Let's just try not to get the new girl blown up, kidnapped, or shot on her first day. That's all. Can we do that, Steven?
Steve: I can't guarantee that.

[Chin Ho Kelly is caught by surprise about Internal Affairs investigating Kono]
Chin Ho Kelly: You're about to kill the career of a good cop because you think she did something wrong.
Capt. Vincent Fryer: I know - she did something wrong. The apple doesn't fall far from the family tree.
Chin Ho: This isn't about me.
Fryer: You're right. It isn't. The governor wants to make it very clear that there's a zero-tolerance policy with regards to crime and corruption. He's tasked me with cleaning up this department. Which is exactly what I'm going to do -starting with your cousin.

[Lana'i cult leader Steven Carver tries to give Jen a cup of tea]
Steven Carver: Here. Uh, drink this. There's herbs in here. It's good for your heart.
Jen: I don't want your tea. I just want to go home. Please.
Steven: This is your home. I know this is hard for you to understand, but this is my fault. I-I didn't raise your mother right. But I'm not gonna make that same mistake with you. You're my family. I'm not gonna let them take you away from me.
Jen: You're not my family!
Steven: Now, listen to me. Listen. Those people are the ones that have been poisoning you. Now, I can make you better. You have to trust me. Just drink your tea.

Kameʻe (The Hero) [2.3][edit]

Lori Weston: I just point out the truth; most men can't handle the truth when it comes to love.
Danny: Oh, we can't handle the truth? What are we doing, A Few Good Men?

[Five-0 raid "The Chameleon"'s hideout and sees a bunch of surveillance materials on SEAL Team IX personnel]
Danny: [browsing a folder] Operation Strawberry Fields ring a bell?
Steve: What did you say?
Danny: Operation Strawberry Fields. It's got a picture of you and your men. [Steve snatches folder from him] Photo of you.
Steve: It's classified.
Danny: Oh, I apologize. The Chameleon unclassified it.

[Disgraced HPD cop Frank Delano makes a proposition]
Frank Delano: Listen Kono, I don't want to sit around all day and play footsie. A person with your skill set and experience has a... certain value in my line of work.
Kono: And what kind of work is that?
Delano: It's kind of like police work, except the bad guys we take down, we don't read Miranda, we just take their money.
Kono: So you provide a public service.
Delano: Something like that.

[Having saved a SEAL from being killed by the Chameleon, the Five-0 team are invited into a secret room inside JFB Pearl-Harbor Hickam]
Danny: So what, you're not gonna tell me about Operation Strawberry Field?
Steve: No.
Danny: No, no, 'cause you'd have to kill me if you told me.
Steve: [deadpan] Keep that up.
Danny: I'm just curious, though. Is there an Operation Abbey Road? Are you the walrus? [Joe White looks at him and raises his eyebrows] Time to shut up?
Joe: Roger that. You ready for the Magical Mystery Tour?

Mea Makamae (Treasure) [2.4][edit]

Kamekona: Now dig in to the grinds, and tell me what you think, please.
Joe White: [takes a bite of the jambalaya] Jambalaya has got some kick. [looks at Steve] Try it.
[Steve takes a shrimp and nearly chokes due to its spiciness]
Steve: You got a cast-iron stomach that should be weaponized. [to Kamekona] You got any water in there?
Kamekona: Sparkling or flat?
Steve: Seriously, I can't breathe right now.

Danny: [looks at a life-sized whale hanging from the ceiling of the museum] It's amazing. I mean, one day you are the king of the ocean, right? The next thing you know, you're hanging from the ceiling in a museum and children are looking at your private parts.
Steve: Yep, kind of puts things in perspective.

[Steve catches on to Danny about Dr Gabrielle Asano]
Danny: I don't want a relationship.
Steve: Coffee is not a relationship, it's a beverage.
Danny: Not true, every relationship has started with a cup of coffee. Then it's dinner and a movie, okay? Next thing you know, you're divorced, you're moving to Hawaii so you can see your daughter every other weekend.
Steve: You need to talk to someone professionally.
Danny I do. You. And now the session's over.

[Kono sees Chin again after being confronted over using his HPD database account to see her Internal Affairs case file]
Kono Kalakaua: Chin, I'm really not up for a lecture right now.
Chin Ho Kelly: Good, because I'm not here to give you one. I'm here to apologize. Everything you're going through right now I've been through myself. Getting kicked off the force, dealing with disappointment, the frustration, the anger. I remember what that felt like. And I also remember that the only person who stood by me through all of it was you. You're not alone in this, Kono. When you want to talk, I'll be here. [Kono embraces him]

[Steve and Joe join the military in departure honors for Capt Robert Murphy at JFB Pearl Harbor-Hickam, but Steve brings up something with Joe]
Steve: You never gave that video to the DOD, did you Joe?
Joe: ...No.
Steve: You know what? I know he was your friend, but he was *my* father. Whatever it is you're trying to protect me from I can handle it. You understand me?
Joe: Did you ever think that maybe you're not the only one I'm trying to protect?
Steve: What are you talking about?
Joe: Risk versus reward, Steve. How much damage are you willing to do to your family - to your family's name - because whatever's on that video, it's not going to bring your father back.
Steve: I need to know.

Maʻemaʻe (Clean) [2.5][edit]

[Kono arrives home to see a pickup on the front lawn - Malia's]
Kono: [sees Malia but obviously not in the mood to talk] It's not a good time for me, Malia.
Malia: That's what I hear.
Kono: What's that supposed to mean?
Malia: Can I come in? [both women enter house] Kono, I know things have been weird between us since Chin and I broke up, and I'm I'm sorry about that, but this is important. Chin is worried about you.
Kono: Wait. So, what, are are you and Chin back together?
Malia: Well, um, uh I don't know. Maybe.
Kono: Wow. How'd you manage that?
Malia: Do you remember when you were in high school and Chin and I used to drive you all around the Island to those surf competitions? The NSSA's. Chin was so proud of you. I mean, that's how I knew he was serious about me- because he wanted to share how proud he was of you. I don't expect you to understand, Kono, but Chin and me- we have something special.
Kono: Yeah. Where was that something special when he lost his badge?
Malia: [irked at what she said] Kono. Right now?
Kono: Okay. Look, as much as I would love to continue this conversation, I can't. I got to run.
Malia: Kono...
Kono: [opens door to see her off] And the next time you're looking to score points with Chin, leave me out of it.

Danny: What are the perks of being a cop? The pay sucks, the hours suck. Sometimes I get...No no not sometimes, all the time, I get shot at all the time.
Steve: What are you talking about? You never get...you hardly every get shot at.
Danny: Is that a joke? Are you making a joke?
Steve: Ok when's the last time you got clipped?
Danny: You're not a funny person. Are you trying to be funny? You're not, ok. Here's my point alright, living practically rent-free in some rich guy's guest house seems to me like a nice perk for keeping the world a safe place.
Steve: You homeless now? Why don't you try decorating? Why don't you get some doilies for the tables, flowers for the table.

Lori: Patience isn't my strong suit.
Chin: You're a lot like Steve, you know that?
Lori: Am I?
Chin: Mm-hmm.
Lori: What's his deal anyway?
Chin: What do you mean, what's his deal?
Lori: Oh, I don't know. I mean, he's I mean, he's kind of hard to get a read on, you know, uh, except for the you know, the daddy issues.

[Having seen Capt. Fryer try to get Kono out of the Five-0 interrogation to save Trisha Joyner, Chin tries to talk to her]
Kono:If he gets to her first, she's dead. I have to go back.
Chin: No! You're already in too deep and it's too dangerous!
Kono: It's the only way to get to Trisha. Look, I don't like what he did, but I understand why Fryer targeted me.
Chin: You don't understand! Do you know who Frank Delano's partner was when he was on the job? Do you know?! It was Fryer!! Delano almost took Fryer down with him when he lost his badge. Don't you get it? Fryer's using you! He's using you to get revenge.
Steve: [overhearing Chin] That's true? Delano was your partner? You're going after your ex-partner?
Capt. Fryer : My history with Delano has nothing to do with this.
Steve: This isn't about going after bad guys, okay? It's about you getting even, right? Huh? You put Kono's life in danger to settle a personal score. Not just Kono's life, the life of an innocent civilian who's still out there.
Fryer: And that's exactly why Kono has to go back in. Without her, we've got nothing on Delano and no way to find Trisha Joyner.
Steve : There's gotta be another way.

Ka Hakaka Maikaʻi (The Good Fight) [2.6][edit]

[Danny waves a white towel in front of Steve before he faces Chuck Liddell]
Steve: What are you doing?
Danny: Getting ready to throw in the towel before you die.
Steve: [ignores Danny] Mouth guard.
Danny: [grumbles] Mouth guard. [hands Steve his mouth guard] You need a helmet not a mouth guard.

Danny: [interrogating a suspect] You know there is no honor amongst thieves. Eventually they will rat on you so why don't you just beat them to the punch. [sees Kelly walking into the interrogation room] You didn't miss anything. This guy's vocabulary is not straying too far from the word "lawyer".

[Steve and Danny are about to question Boriero and notice his car isn't locked.]
Steve: Looks like Boriero wasn't worried about theft.
Danny: That's one of the benefits of being built like King Kong.

Ka Iwi Kapu (Sacred Bones) [2.7][edit]

[Danny notices Max cosplaying as Neo at the medical examiner's office]
Max: I came directly to work after a costume party.
Danny: Come on, you don't secretly have this thing where you look dressing up like you're in The Matrix.
Max: The two concepts are not mutually exclusive.

[Having seen a big rock hit his Camaro's front windshield after stepping right into the Keiamanu heiau despite warnings from the Five-0 team not to desecrate it, Danny is furious that a bigger rock shattered the rear window]
Danny: How does this even happen?
Chin Ho: Maybe it's the result of completely dismissing an entire culture's spiritual beliefs.

[Danny moves into a dead victim's apartment with the gang's help]
Danny: I wanted to ask you about the pet deposit. You see, my daughter, she wants a dog.
Landlady: I'm sorry. We have a strict no-pet policy.
Danny: What are you talking about? What about the old lady?
Landlady: What old lady?
Danny: The old lady with the big dopey hat and the little dog and she was gardening. She's the one that told me the elevator was bust... which by the way you're gonna fix, right?
Landlady: Sounds like you're describing Mrs Kakoa.
Danny: OK, Mrs Kokoa.
Landlady: But old Mrs Kakoa died five years ago. She fell down the elevator shaft.
McGarrett: OK, we're all set up.
Danny: Emm... yeah, we're gonna leave.
McGarrett: What?
Danny: Pack it up. Pack it all up.

Lapaʻau (Healing) [2.8][edit]

Danny: What kind of a moron would break into a house, try to drug a dog, just to get some pages out of a book?

Steve: Can you explain to me again why I'm sitting in the back and the dog is riding shotgun?
Danny: I already told you, he needs the window.
Steve: Oh, yes, right. How else is he gonna enjoy his tour of Waikiki?
Danny: You know, for your information, dogs get carsick.
Steve: Really?
Danny: Yeah, it's a fact.
Steve: Oh, it's a fact?
Danny: Yeah.
Steve: So, all of a sudden you're a dog expert?
Danny: No, not all of a sudden; I've had dogs my entire life.
Steve: Really? You didn't have a dog when I met you.
Danny: Yeah. Yes, I did, but I lost the dog in the divorce. Rachel got custody of my dog.
Steve: What happened to it?
Danny: He was old. He died in the quarantine process. Which is another reason why I hate this miserable island.
[The dog howls]
Steve: [mutters] Guess that makes two of you.
Danny: [to dog] Yeah buddy! [grins to himself] I knew I liked this guy for a reason.

Danny: What we need to know from you is who around here poaches animals?
Kamekona: Why are you asking me? I sell shrimp, not baby seals.

Ike Maka (Identity) [2.9][edit]

[Steve goes downstairs and shuts the television.]
Danny: I was watching that.
Steve: Through the blanket?
Danny: Oh, well, I was listening anyway.
Steve: Yeah, I mean, because there's nothing more soothing than the sound of somebody trying to sell you gold coins, right?
Danny: You know, I need something to block out the sound of the ocean 'cause the waves keep crashing over and over and over again, Steven.
Steve: Some would say it's a relaxing sound, Danny.
Danny: Yeah? Some people would. And other people, like myself, would say it's Hawaiian water torture, okay? Two weeks now, I can't take it anymore.
Steve: Okay, you know I don't mind you crashing with me till you find your own place, right?
Danny: I appreciate that.
Steve: Okay, but I can't sleep with the TV on.
Danny: I can't sleep with the TV off.
Steve: And we discussed that before you moved in.
Danny: Yeah, we did. I think I remember that it's McGarrett house rule number 32: No TV after midnight.
Steve: I'm sorry the hotel didn't work out for you.

Steve: I have become accustomed to doing things a certain way.
Danny: Yeah, I know, and your way, your way is completely insane. It's nuts. Who can take a shower in under three minutes?
Steve: Have you ever heard of a navy shower, Danny? A navy shower?
Danny: No. Where do you think I would have heard of something like a navy shower? I'm not in the navy!
Steve: [answers his phone] McGarrett. We're on our way. [to a half-awake Danny] Put your pants on. We're going to work.

Steve: [on the phone with Max] Say, Max, uh, is it possible that you're upset with us-- perhaps Danny-- for some reason? [Max hangs up]
Danny: Did he just hang up on us?
Steve: I think he did. Max? [no answer] Yeah.
Danny: Definitely something you did.

Danny: [to O'Toole after nailing him on murder charges] Enjoy federal prison. It's really nice this time of year. See you.

Danny: I do believe that I found a place.
Steve: Really?
Danny: Yeah, nice little house for rent right down the street from you.
Steve: Forget about it.
Danny: Oh, right, rule number 56: No coworkers living on the same block.
Steve: [deadpan] Something like that, yeah, just no, put it out of your mind.

Kiʻilua (Deceiver) [2.10][edit]

[Joe White and the Five-0 crew see Navy LCdr Wade Gutches and SEAL Team IX members join them for the operation to North Korea]
Wade Gutches: You have room for a few more on this.... What are you calling it?
Joe: Humanitarian mission...
Gutches: Righhhhhht.

[The gang sees Buffett's old Huey chopper]
Chin Ho: We're going up in that?
Lori: Is anyone else terrified?
Kono: It can't be that bad. [opens door and sees chickens in the passenger compartment] Ok, now I'm terrified.

[After rescuing Steve, Chin breaks the news to everyone that he and Malia will finally marry at last]
Danno: Seriously, don't get married. Find a woman that you really hate...
Steve, Joe and Seal Team IX: ...and buy her a house!

Pahele (Trap) [2.11][edit]

[Steve is caught by surprise at Joe White's decision to seek early retirement]
Joe: How about you treat me to a shrimp jambalaya and we'll call it even?
Steve: You are the only man on the planet who would see jambalaya as even for the end of their career.

Governor Sam Denning: Three days ago, the Five-O task force seized $80 million worth of cocaine being smuggled into Honolulu Harbor on a Colombian fishing vessel.
Steve: I see you broke out the formal wear, too, huh?
Danny: Dog and pony show– perfect occasion to wear a tie.
Kono: I always liked the tie.
Denning: Five-O’s courageous actions have made our state a safer place. Five-O acted in cooperation with Customs, DEA and HPD to orchestrate an efficient and coordinated takedown of what appears to be a major player in the global drug trade. We appreciate the help from our law enforcement counterparts and will continue to rely on them as this investigation moves forward. We feel we sent a strong message to the South American cartels. The state of Hawaii will not be used as a way station for illegal narcotic trafficking.

Ms. Christie: Jay, what’s going on?
Jay Katsu: It’s a car accident.
Ms. Christie: It’s all right, everybody. Just stay in your seats.
Katsu: [goes down and calls out to people at crash] You guys okay? Anybody hurt?
Karla: Yeah, you. [shoots him]
Ms. Christie: Jay! Kids, get down! Get down! Just Get Down!

Steve: What do we know?
Danny: Looks like a kidnapping, right? We got 16 kids, three adults from South Shore Children’s Academy; they were on a field trip. Someone comes, takes the whole bus.
Steve: Parents been notified?
Danny: Kono’s on her way to the school right now to meet them and prepare them for a ransom call.
Steve: Who's the vic, Chin?
Chin: Jay Katsu, driver of the bus. Still waiting on Max, but the cause of death appears to be three gunshots to the chest, close range.
Danny: Here’s what I think. All right, guy gets out of the bus to see what’s going on. Comes over here– boom– gets popped by one of the kidnappers.
Steve: [notices something odd on cars] Wait a minute.
Chin: What are you thinking?
Steve: This accident was staged. Look at this. There’s no skid marks. Neither of the airbags have been deployed. There’s minimal damage.
Danny: Now who do these cars belong to?
Chin: Well, HPD ran the plates. Turns out, both vehicles were reported stolen last night.
Lori Weston: I just spoke to the witness who called 911. She came on the accident about 20 minutes ago. Driver was already dead.
Danny: She see the school bus?
Lori: Yeah, she reported seeing one traveling at high speeds, heading south.
Chin: Well, if they reached the H3, they could be anywhere on the island.
Steve: All right, we need the cell numbers of all the people on that bus. Pinging their phones is gonna be our best chance of locating them.

Alaheo Pauʻole (Gone Forever) [2.12][edit]

[McGarrett has just caught Danno and Lori in a rather compromising position]
Steve McGarrett: And the uh... the handcuffs?
Lori Weston: Oh uh, Danny was showing me the uh...
Lori and Danny 'Danno' Williams: Jersey slip.
Steve: Jersey slip?
Danny: The hood rat cuff slip. All the kids are doing it back east. So thought I'd show her.
Lori: Yeah, and um we [clears her throat] lost the key somewhere. I think it's in the couch.

Joe White: I know you took my passport.
Steve McGarrett: [gives back passport] What are you doing in Japan? [sees Joe sigh, but doesn't answer] You might as well tell me, 'cause I'm not gonna stop asking.
Joe: I was hoping you wouldn't say that.

Ka Hoʻoponopono (The Fix) [2.13][edit]

[Steve and Joe argue over the identity of Shelburne]
Joe White: You're interfering with something you don't understand.
Steve McGarrett: Then why don't you explain it to me, Joe? Tell me what the hell's going on! You gotta wake up. The walls are closing in on you. HPD wants answers. The Yakuza wants blood. Shelburne - is he worth this? Is he worth going to jail for? Is he worth dying for?
Joe: People are already dying, son. I'M TRYING TO MAKE IT STOP!

[Kono and Charlie Fong study Rick Summers and Karen Sargent's sex video]
Charlie Fong: I figured out how that sex tape was made, and how your anonymous blackmailer accessed it. Summers' computer was infected with spyware that remotely activated its webcam.
Kono Kalakaua: As simple as that?
Fong: Pretty much. The spyware was a Trojan Horse attached to a file containing the Ala Moana Academy's "Lookbook." It's kind of like a digital yearbook.
Kono: Okay, so Summers downloaded the Lookbook, and then...
Fong: And then he and Karen must've had sex in view of the laptop's camera. And neither one of them knew they were being watched, or recorded.
Kono: That's really creepy.
Fong: Moral of the story: Resist the urge to have sex in front of an open laptop.
Kono: [feels awkward at what he said] Sometimes you scare me.

Puʻolo (The Package) [2.14][edit]

[flashback to 1992 and John McGarrett's decision to send him and Mary Ann to the mainland]
John McGarrett: My first responsibility is not my safety, it's yours. You may not like it, but I hope someday you understand it.

[McGarrett and Joe White visit John McGarrett's grave to tell him the truth about Shelburne]
Steve McGarrett: Okay, all right, if it was an investigation into the Yakuza, then why does Wo Fat care so much about Shelburne?
Joe White: Because Shelburne killed his father.
Steve: And by Shelburne, you mean my father.
Joe: No, it was me. I killed him.

Mai Ka Wa Kahiko (Out of the Past) [2.15][edit]

I Helu Pu (The Reckoning) [2.16][edit]

Roger: [after being tackled and handcuffed by Danny] Hey! That hurts man.
Danny: That hurts? You just jumped out of a window and this hurts.
Steve: Hey Danny, that was an impressive tackle. Like what they do at UH.

Danny: How you're doin?
Steve: Good. Yeah. Good. The Governor just shut down Five-O but I'm all right.
Danny: What did you tell him?
Steve: Everything.
Danny: Ok, see, that was your first mistake, you understand? On top of being too competitive, you're also too honest.
Steve: Look, we screwed up this time, Danny, ok? My fault. We went too far.
Danny: Ohhh, ok, this is your pity party. Is it a personal invite-only or can anybody else attend? Can I come too? [Steve smirks] It's nobody's fault. You did what you had to do. That's it.

[Catherine has deployment orders to the USS Enterprise, but McGarrett has other ideas, topped by Valentine's Day chocolates]
Catherine Rollins:So, uh what's with the bag and the uniform?
Steve McGarrett: I felt bad that our weekend got blown up by a case. And, uh I figured since I was due for my reserve drill, I'd put in a request to, um, to do it on the Enterprise.
Catherine:Really?
Steve:Yeah, with you.
Catherine:Huh. You know, that's, um so much better than chocolate. [embraces] Steve]
Steve:I thought you'd like that.
Catherine: Yeah. Now, you know that you will also be doing your reserve with about 3,000 other sailors, right? So, we're not gonna get a whole lot of time together
Steve: Right. Yeah but, um it's a really long flight.

Kupale (Defender) [2.17][edit]

[Max studies the body of a reenactor]
Steve: Time travel doesn't exist.
Max: On the contrary, there are several theories....
Danny: With all due respect. For argument's sake, let's say this man didn't own a DeLorean and is from the 21st century.

Steve: Don't you want Grace to know that you're happy? You're her daddy.
Danny: Hey I am happy.
Steve: You're never happy.
Danny: I'm happy when I'm not around you.
Steve: That's a lie too. You love me.

Steve: [after Danny invites him over for dinner] I just wanna know who's going.
Danny: Friends. Friends are going.
Steve: All right. Good. What's the deal?
Danny: There's no deal! What, there's gotta be a deal because I invite my friends to dinner?
Steve: You never invite your friends anywhere.
Danny: Incorrect. I just did.

Lekio (Radio) [2.18][edit]

[Danny and Max are in the car with Steve, who is driving haphazardly through traffic to chase down Max's stolen van.]
Danny: First of all, please slow down. We don't even know which way they're going.
Steve: This road is the only way out of the marina.
Danny: Easy, please, easy, Speed Racer. HUH?!!
Max: Actually, this vehicle was engineered to be driven in this manner.
Danny: Would you stop, Max?! You're not helping! [pause; answers ringing cellphione] Kono, this is not a good time. You're interrupting vehicular manslaughter.

Steve: Two R's, two T's. McGarrett.

[Max rattles off the elements he found in the trace evidence]
Kono: [confused] Is that good or bad?
Max: Perplexing.

Tony Archer: [to Danny] Book 'em, Muscles.
Steve: [smirks] I like this guy.

Kalele (Faith) [2.19][edit]

McGarrett: What were you guys talking about?
Danny: What were we talking about? I don't know. Stuff. General stuff. What, uh what, are you being paranoid now?
McGarrett: No, this is not paranoia, Daniel. This has been happening a lot lately. You guys have been acting weird.
Danny: Oh, okay. Well, I think you should relax, maybe, and stop overanalyzing things.
McGarrett: Relax? That's funny coming from you.
Danny: Okay, no, no, no. Do what you want to do. Be paranoid. Okay, go nuts. Let your mind play tricks on you. Next thing you know, you are going to be wearing a tin foil hat, babbling about black helicopters.
McGarrett: Black helicopters are real.
Danny: What do you mean, they're real?
McGarrett: [creepy voice] They're real.

McGarrett: [sees the grenade-shaped cake Kono is carrying] That's an awesome cake.
Danny: We were gonna jump out and yell surprise, but then we figured what's the use?
McGarrett: [deadpan] Well, you should never surprise a man who is armed and who has extensive close-quarter battle training, anyway.
Chin: Ah, that's good to keep in mind.
Kono: I will also remember that.
McGarrett: Wow.
Kono: [hands McGarrett a slice] Here you go, birthday boy.
Danny: Happy birthday, buddy.
McGarrett: Thank you. Guys, listen, I think we should just face the fact, that I'm not that easy to surprise, you know? [he takes a bite and then starts to gag in the middle of chewing]
[Kono holds up a salt shaker and grins.]
Danny: Surprise! [everyone laughs]
Kono: Better than butter cream, right?

[Angela meets a man on the pier - August March]
August March: I'm delighted you reached out to me, Angela.
Angela: [gives March briefcase of money] I didn't have many options, but with your help, this actually worked out better than I hoped. [gives March a pack of diamonds] Your diamonds. It's been a pleasure.
March: Oh believe me, the pleasure's all mine, [reacts to Angela turning around and walking away] but there's one more thing you need to learn about this type of business. [Angela looks back at him as he pulls out a revolver] Never turn your back on the buyer! [shoots her; Angela falls into the water and March walks away with the cash]

Haʻalele (Abandoned) [2.20][edit]

Pa Make Loa (Touch of Death)[edit]

[Danny and Steve have fetched NCIS Agent Sam Hanna and G. Callen, but Hanna notices Danny's Camaro]
Hanna: What's her name?
Danny: Her name is, uh is Car.
Hanna: Car?
Danny: Yeah.
Hanna: I'm going to find you a name. [to Callen] Shotgun.

[at Five-0 HQ, Chin notices Kono checking her phone while they talk about a case]
Chin Ho Kelly: Who was that?
Kono Kalakaua: Uh, nothing. I have someone I can just talk to later.
Chin: That somebody have a name?
Kono: What, I can't have a private life?
Chin: [giddly] Ooh. Is it a boy? Is he cute?
Kono: Okay, leave me alone.
Chin: I knew something was up. You got that glow.
Kono: Okay, I do not glow.
Chin: Uh-huh. Give it up. What's his name?
Kono: You'll find out when the time is right.
Chin: All right, be like that, but just remember who's going to walk you down the aisle.
Kono: Okay, that's going to be a very, very long ways away.
Chin: Not at this rate.

[Danny and NCIS Special Agent Sam Hanna are in a car chase]
Hanna: Hold steady... [aiming his gun at the suspects' car to shoot]
Danny: Hold steady? You shoot like Ray Charles. Come on.
Hanna: Watch out for the dumpster!
Danny: [deadpan] I see the dumpster. Thanks. [narrowly avoids dumpster]
Hanna: Try to work on your driving position a little. Your wrists are in the wrong place.
Danny: My wrists are in the wrong––[looks at Hanna] what is it with Navy SEALs and back-seat drivers?!
Hanna: Watch out for the car!!
Danny: [exasperated] I see the car!

Ua Hopu (Caught) [2.22][edit]

Steve: Just be careful, okay? I don't know what Wo Fat's up to, but he wanted me to find this phone. I don't want you walking into an ambush.
Danny: Hey, listen, we will be fine. Just do me a favor: take care of your own six.
Steve: Sorry, did you say "six"? Okay, I've been gone way too long. You're starting to sound like me.
Danny: I know, I know, and it just made me want to throw up.

Danny: You get a chance to interrogate Wo Fat yet?
Steve: Sorry, Danny, that's classified.
Danny: It's classified? Is that a joke? Are you kidding me?
Steve: No, I'm not kidding.
Danny: Okay, uh, well, when are you bringing him back?
Steve: I can't tell you that either, Danny. I can't tell you these things over an unsecured line, you understand? It's a security issue.
Danny: Okay, you know what I think? I think that you think that saying stuff like that is cool. It's not cool, it's actually the opposite of cool.

Ua Hala (Death in the Family) [2.23][edit]

[Danny gets off the phone with Rachel]
Steve: So?
Danny: So what?
Steve: You gonna tell me what that was about?
Danny: I already told you, it was, uh, it was private. [Steve glares at him] All right with the Navy SEAL death stare. What, are you gonna do? You gonna waterboard me until I tell you about my private phone call?

[Danny takes Grace to a certain place]
Danny Williams: I'm gonna show you. This is, without question, the most beautiful view on the planet Earth. This is a very special place. Sit down. I actually came here on my very first day to Hawaii.
Grace Williams: Really?
Danny: Yeah. I mean, it was an accident. See, I was driving around and I got lost. This is very hard to do on an island, but I managed to figure it out. So I ran out of gas, ran right here and I ended up sitting right here. I'm looking out at this beautiful view. The only thing I can think about is how homesick I was. I'd only been here half a day and I'm already homesick. And I looked out and I said, "You know, a view this beautiful, maybe this rock ain't so bad, huh?" Then I came to my senses and I realized the only way this place would be tolerable is if I get to be here with you. That's the most important thing to me. And that's never gonna change, Monkey, okay? All right, a little kiss? [Grace kisses him] Ah, that's the best. All right, I'll be right back. [walks away and dials phone] Hey, Rachel, it's Danny. Uh, listen. You know, I, uh I didn't want it to come to this, but you are leaving me no choice. I'm gonna contest the custody modification. There's zero chance I'm letting you take Grace away from me. Okay? Not without a fight.

[a freshly-released Frank Delano has showed Chin Ho Kelly live videos of Kono and Malia, and Chin Ho wants answers]
Frank Delano: 'Cause you got away with it.
Chin Ho Kelly: Got away with what? What are you talking about?!
Frank: Everybody knows you're a dirty cop, Chin, but instead of having your life ruined like the rest of us, you, uh you get your badge back?
Chin: Hey, I didn't take any of that damn drug money.No.
Frank: No, but you knew who did, and you didn't say a word.
Chin: Let 'em go, Frank. Please. They got nothing to do with this.
Frank: Well, what happens to them is entirely up to you, Chin. Either one of them are The good news is, you have time to save one of them. Bad news unfortunately, the, uh the other one's gonna die.
Chin: You got what you wanted! You're out of jail. You got your revenge. Fryer is dead! Your cousin set me up, and then sent me to prison.
Frank: Want to save Kono, hmm? You get in that boat right there; you head due south. She's in a boat two miles offshore. You want to reach Malia- well she's at home waiting for you with, uh, dinner in the oven. [gasps] Chicken, I think.
Chin: You son of a bitch.
Frank: Hey, don't bother stopping to call HPD or your buddies, McGarrett and Williams. I got all the lines covered, you understand? Besides, you don't have time. You better get moving, Ace. Clock's ticking.