Hellsing Ultimate

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Hellsing Ultimate is a series of OVA's based on the Anime/Manga series Hellsing, that began its run on February 10, 2006. As of February 19, 2012, 8 episodes have been released, 4 of which have been released in North America. It chronicles the efforts of the mysterious and secretive Hellsing Organization, as it combats vampires, ghouls, and other supernatural foes who threaten England.


  • "My master, it shall be done. As you command."
  • "How beautiful. Nights like this make me want a bite to drink. Yes... I couldn't imagine a more... perfect evening."
  • "Nothing I shoot ever gets back up again."
  • "Are you a virgin, my dear?" (to Seras)
  • "Those who dare impersonate the dead are judged to join their ranks."
  • "Police girl. When you aim, make sure you put a hole through the heart. Or the head. Just remember: these people did not become undead ghouls by choice. There's no way to cure them once they've been changed. It's for their own sake that we put them to rest as quickly as possible."
  • "Why didn't you just drink the blood, you idiot?" (to Seras)
  • [regarding the Jackal] "I'll bet this can even stop Father Anderson in his tracks."
  • [to Luke Valentine] "You fool...there's no such thing as an immortal!"
  • "Yes...excellent! I haven't had this much fun in ages! ...What did you say your name was?"
  • "Releasing Control Art Restriction Systems 3...2...1. Approval of situation A recognized; commencing the Cromwell Invocation. Ability restrictions lifted for limited use until the enemy has been rendered silent."
  • "Now, Luke Valentine, it's time to educate you on how a real vampire does battle!"
  • "Come on, get up! Attack me! You've only suffered the loss of your legs! Summon up your familiars! Transform your body! Heal your severed legs and stand! The evening is still so young. Come on, hurry, hurry, hurry! Pull yourself together - the fun has just begun! Come on! HURRY!"
  • "We ruin the countries we govern and the people in our care. We slaughter our enemies and sacrifice all our allies. We’ll keep killing till there’s nothing left but to destroy ourselves. It will never be enough."
  • "If I'm a dog, then you're dog food."
  • "So that was all you had? Such a shame that I overestimated you. As a vampire, you were just a pathetic piece of shit. Now you're nothing but dog shit."
  • "Nothing like Iscariot to inspire the fear of God; such fearsome insults! Two thousand years of your inane prattle...truly, some things never do seem to change."
  • [to Enrico Maxwell] "You call my master a sow and expect me to let you live? I'm afraid that I'm just going to have to put a bullet in you, you foolish little man."
  • [facing Anderson in the museum] "Neither of us could ever back down in front an enemy. Come on then, Judas Priest!"
  • [after being shot by a SWAT team] "Dogs...that was a very good try. However...[regenerates]...I cannot be killed by dogs. It takes a man in order to kill a monster!"
  • [to Tubalcain Alhambra] "I get it; there's absolutely no reasoning with you people. Which means that I have to keep killing until there are none of you left. Didn't your masters learn anything from the last time I decimated them?"
  • "Magic playing cards...how interesting."
  • "The world would be so boring without idiots like you to amuse me."
  • "Now...it's time to play, Alhambra! I want to hear you squeal like a pig!"
  • "That's checkmate, Tubalcain Alhambra!"
  • [after defeating Tubalcain Alhambra] "Now, it's time to start dealing with the business at hand. I'm obliged to give you a thorough interrogation, so you're going to tell me everything you know. Well...your blood will." [bites Tubalcain and drinks his blood]
  • "My lord and master, Integra Hellsing! Give me your orders!"
  • [releasing Control Art Restriction Level Zero] "I am the Bird of Hermes. Here standeth the Bird of Hermes! Eating my own wings! [is attacked by the assembled enemies] To keep...myself tame..."
  • "You stand before me...I'm impressed. I'm impressed, Iscariot! Show me more, Alexander Anderson!"
  • [trying to convince Anderson not to use Helena's Nail] "Anderson, stop it! Do you know what that thing will do to you?! You'll become one of God's monsters! Retain your humanity. Don't succumb to power! Either side, it amounts to the same deal: whether in the name of the divine or the demonic, you're still a monster in the end! Do you intend to use that scrap of miracle...to become nothing but a scrap of miracle yourself?! This duel...between us...would you really push it this far - into the realms that lie beyond the realm of mortal life? A monster such as myself...a creature of such weakness that I could not bear the weight of a human life...if I am to be defeated, it must be by a human! [pause] Don't do it, human. Don't become a monster...a monster like me..."
  • [to Anderson, after he uses the Nail of Helena] "You...you fool!...[aims Casull at Anderson] You bloody FOOL!"
  • Only a human can destroy a monster. Only a human could dare hope to.
  • [to Anderson, after he has been defeated] YOU AND I ARE THE SAME! [everyone gasps in shock of what he said] You are me... I was just the same! Don't you understand, this is how I became what I am? [Alucard starts crying]
  • "Until the weight of my past is shattered by my oncoming future. It shouldn't be too long, my nemesis. I'll see you in hell..."
  • "Angel of Death... Weren't you the one who said Englishmen looked forward to growing old? You've seemed to have abandon your macurity. Truly a terrible shame, you were such a lovely old man. It pains me to see how wretched and ugly you've become. Your body and soul corrupted. A dark reaper to the very core."

Seras Victoria[edit]

  • "Sir, yes, Sir, my Master."
  • "They're not real people. They're like...zombie bumpkins."
  • "Makes you wonder, doesn't it. If there are normal people under this uniform."
  • [while leading a Japanese tour group] "Hiii! Right this way, everybody!"
  • "It's just an illusion...just an illusion...!"
  • "I’ll make those bastards pay. Every last one of them...will fucking die. I’ll tear them to shreds!"
  • (to Zorin Blitz) "You called (Pip Bernadotte) a gnat, didn't you? You called him a gnat. You'll pay for this. You will pay! You're going to pay! YOU'LL PAY!" (bites Pip and begins drinking his blood)
  • (to Pip's corpse, after becoming a full vampire) "Thank you, Captain. Rest in peace. But not yet... Not yet!"
  • "I did what you told me... In return you're going to help me...send these Nazis to Hell!"
  • "Together, you and I will slaughter them all!"
  • "Even if I were about to die, I wouldn't drink a single god-damned drop of your evil blood! I don't want you...inside of me!"
  • (while killing Zorin Blitz) "How does it feel having someone fuck with your head!? HOW DOES IT FEEL, YOU BITCH!?"
  • "I'm not afraid of anything anymore."
  • "Master, you seem to have grown a mustache."
  • "It felt like if I drank the blood, it would mean the end of something important inside of me."
  • (after defeating The Captian) "He looked like a child. Who just woken up from a pleasant dream. These men... They've been trapped in the same dream since World War II. But tonight, Mr. Bernadotte, I'll wake them up. All of them."

Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing[edit]

  • "They have dared to enter this house, built on blood and honour. I will see them roast in the deepest pits of Hell!"
  • (sarcastically) "You cut his head off? Is that all?"
  • "You did your duty; farewell."
  • "I really don't care who you are. just tell me what you want."
  • "You've done nothing but show contempt for our treaties. This latest incident with Anderson in Northern Ireland was inexcusable."
  • "Don't you dare question my resolve! I have already given you your marching orders, soldier! You will search and destroy! SEARCH AND DESTROY! Any resistance you encounter is to be CRUSHED! Hellsing does not run from our enemies! Kill them all! I order you to leave nothing but bloody stains in your wake!"
  • "Don't underestimate humanity, you freaks! Come on! Let's have it!"
  • "You're too loud, police girl. I don't care if you are a vampire. You're still English; have some manners."
  • "I cut my finger. I don't want it to get infected. Kiss it for me."
  • "Alucard, take heed. Here are your orders. With you silver gun, paint the white army crimson. With your iron gun, paint the black army scarlet. I will know my foes by the stains of red you leave upon their chests! Now search and destroy! SEARCH AND DESTROY! Run them down! Do not let any of them leave the island alive!"
  • "Release control art restriction level: zero!"
  • "Just what I expected from a king of vampires. Or a count."

Walter C. Dornez[edit]

  • "Oh dear, I missed...I guess I'm not as spry as I used to be. My name is Walter Dornez, butler to the Hellsing family and former master vampire hunter."
  • [quotes Jan Valentine against him] "I highly recommend pissing yourself, followed by a course of praying to your impotent God."
  • "Miss Integra, back the car up and find another way around."
  • "Now then, its time to take these children across my knee."
  • "I answer to no man's will, but my own. I am myself in mind, body, and soul. I am Walter C. Dornez, the angel of death, and as the dawn light cuts through the darkness, so shall I reap all of your souls in bloody turn."
  • "You once told me, Alucard, that true immortals don't exist... you might be onto something, so let's put it to the test! Let's keep killing you until you stay down."
  • "Did you forget who made that gun for you...? That gun was meant to defeat Anderson, and I'm no Anderson."
  • "[his hands begin to shake erratically during his battle with Alucard] Grh... my body... is starting to give out! I prepared for this... I rebelled knowing this would happen... this was always inevitable."
  • "We are the evening's entertainment. And I... just wanted to do something with my time on the stage worthy of applause."
  • "The show is over, Mina. The curtain's falling, we've taken our bows, it's high time we made our exit."

Pip Bernadotte[edit]

  • "What was that? Some kind of evil love beam?"
  • "Now then, let's go and die like mangy dogs. Let's die while yelling "Fuck, Fuck!" as we take gut shots. As we writhe in agony."
  • "Oh, the iniquity! Damn you, bourgeoisie! Damn you!"
  • "Face it, this room will be our tomb; the mansion our gravestone; and our gravekeeper will be that cast-iron bitch Integra. And our epitaph? "Here lies the fearsome Wild Geese who kicked beaucoup Nazi ass for queen and crumpets." But they won't write any of that. Because of you it'll say: "Here lies those gutless pussies that died pissing themselves and screaming like schoolgirls. Man the fuck up, bitch! You'll die with honor even if I have to tie you to your damn post! You take the money because you like it, and you fight because you like it and now... you're going to die like a merc and like it!"
  • "It was never about the money, it was always about the fun."
  • "Disgusting, no? It's plunder from when they ransacked Europe half a century ago. These bastards shook out whole countries like piggy-banks, taking everything of value. No matter how small. Everything from gold ingots and wads of cash down to pocket watches and gold teeth. The fearsome Schutzstaffel. They think they're Nietzsche's wet dream, but they're just vultures picking at the dead. They're a bunch of misfits who think war is some kind of costume ball. The invincible army? The knights of steel? What a pack of losers.

Paladin Alexander Anderson[edit]

  • "AMEN!"
  • "Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust. We are nothing, but dust and to dust we shall return. Amen."
  • "If anyone does not love the Lord Jesus Christ, let them be accursed at His coming. God save you from your fate. Amen!"
  • "Violence is never the right answer, unless used against heathens and monsters."
  • "It's been a while since I've had a good hunt. I plan on enjoying this."
  • "Your voice sounds so lovely when you're whimpering in agony."
  • "Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and for thy possession, the ends of the earth. Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron. Thou shalt dash them in pieces, like a potters vessel. Be wise now therefore, ye kings. Be admonished, ye judges of the earth. Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. Kiss the son lest he be angry, and ye perish in the way, though his wrath be kindled but a little."
  • "Iscariot does not shirk when the enemy presents itself!"
  • "[laughs]...You won't be so lucky this time, vampire!"
  • "Mars...Mars! MARS!!!" [kills several Millennium vampires]
  • "[to Millennium soldiers] Hold your tongue, the dead don't speak."
  • "You are not the only one who carries a mighty weapon, vampire."
  • "I want nothing more than to be a bayonet; a bayonet wielded by the hand of God. I would have been happy to have been born a storm, or a divine threat; a mighty explosion or even a terrible hurricane. A divine force of nature without a heart or pity. And if this relic can transform me into such a thing... then I am happy to abandon my humanity."
  • [to Alucard, after he starts crying] "Demons do not cry. Are these the tears of a long dead child?"
  • "Demons do not cry. You became a demon, because you couldn't cry anymore right? Humans cry and when their tears finally run dry, there's nothing left, but a demon or a monster and one final prayer for death. So, laugh demon. Laugh that arrogant laugh of yours and remember I beat you to it."
  • "So how long will it be then? How long before you're no longer cursed to walk the Earth?"
  • "Beautiful moon tonight, don't you think?"
  • "We are the servants of god, and the messengers of his justice. We are the instruments of his divine wrath on Earth. We are called upon to cleanse his Kingdom bringing Ash from the Flesh of thine enemies. Praise to our Lord!"

Enrico Maxwell[edit]

  • "My name is Enrico Maxwell. I'm the head of the Iscariot organization; I am honored to meet you."
  • "I'm here on the direct orders from His Holiness. Otherwise I would not bother with you filthy creatures! So just shut up and pay attention, you miserable English sow!"
  • "The great vampire Alucard, the Hellsing family's pet creature; I don't believe I've ever seen you in person before. It's a great pleasure to make your acquaintance."
  • "I think you'll agree that turnabout is fair play...so why don't we make this fight interesting? [snaps fingers] ANDERSON!!!"
  • "But you did more than help fund the operation, and you were more than a mere pawn. The title more suited to you, my friend, is collaborator."
  • "The only good protestant is a dead protestant!"
  • "England...is guilty! The heathens...are guilty! You are all now sentenced...to your death! Death! Death! Death! DEATH!"
  • "I can offer you my pity, but my forgiveness? NEVER!"
  • (watching Alucard releasing his stored souls) "Im...impossible! How can something like that exist?!"
  • (as Alucard releases his old army and regains his original vampiric form) "Wallachia...it can't be! You consumed them! Your own soldiers! Your own subjects! You're a fiend! A monster! A devil! You...DRACULA!"

The Major (SS-Sturmbannführer)[edit]

  • Our purpose, is the total absence of purpose.
  • You should be aware, Fräulein, that there are some people in this world, some irredeemable louts, for whom the means do not require an end. I speak, of course, of myself.
  • [to Maxwell] Did I just hear someone from Iscariot questioning my sanity? Then let me ask you, if your God would allow my madness to flourish across the globe, then wouldn't it seem to you that any god like that would be just as mad as I?
  • We are the finest of the Third Reich. Do you have any idea how many people we've killed?
  • First Lieutenant Rip Van Winkle, do you know how Der Freischütz ends? Kaspar, having trifled with the Black Huntsman Zamiel, is whisked away to hell for his sins. His corpse is then thrown into a ravine to be eaten by wolves. Prepare yourself, First Lieutenant, for now, Zamiel comes to collect you.
  • And so it came to pass that those who had gathered before a painted line of spears found themselves reunited before the real thing. On one side, a division of panzergrenadier vampires from Germany's Third Reich: the dreaded 572 vampire soldiers of the Last Battalion! On the other side, 2975 knights of the Roman Catholic Vatican Curia: Ninth Airborne Mobile Crusade. In the middle, Her Majesty's Hellsing Organization! Just three of these mighty soldiers remain. All is ready; the players prepare to take the stage, and the curtain rises over this Walpurgis Dawn!
  • By the time they realize their destinies never left my palm, my fist will have already closed in around them.
  • "Here it comes - I can feel it! A mighty river...a river of death! The dead shall dance...and all of Hell shall sing!
  • [regarding Iscariot] Countless little lives struggling and dying together, like tiny cells making up a great beast struggling towards its own elimination; seeking blood whilst spilling blood; continuously multiplying and receding; fighting with itself without end.
  • [After Alucard disappears from existence] I must admit, zat after all the defeats I have suffered, victory's taste is strange upon my tongue. It has hints of blood... and iron. (with relish) I love it!
  • He, he, he! I finally hit something! [falls down to his death] "Ah... Excellent... ["smiles while dying"] Zhis was exactly... What I hoped my war would be...

The Doctor[edit]

  • "Be sure to eat every bite. If he turns into a ghoul, I will not be happy."
  • "Alright everyone, it's time for us to open up our handbooks."
  • (watching the Major and the battle of London) "He thinks that it is music. The music of the battlefield! The Major...! He's conducting it! The battle is his symphony...and we are his instruments. Great, howling instruments, wailing his cacophonous thoughts! How can anything stand against him?!"

Tubalcain Alhambra[edit]

  • "Work your hardest, gentlemen. If you really want your paradise without getting sick or growing old."
  • "I am here to take your unlife, Mr. Alucard. Millenium has given me the task of bringing you in; well, at least a sample of you, anyway."
  • "Right into my trap!"
  • [watching Alucard retreat to the roof of the hotel] "Oh, no you don't. [leaps to the side of the hotel and begins walking up the side of the wall] Alucard the vampire...you are so disappointing!"
  • "Are you ready for another round, Mr. Alucard? I bet they have a special place ready for you...in the deepest pits of hell."
  • "You expect me to squeal? Are you serious? Don't you see what is happening?! If only the world were so simple - you really have gone completely soft in the head!"
  • "GO TO HELL! [cuts a Harkonnen shell in half] I've had enough of these pests."

Luke Valentine[edit]

  • [in response to Alucard's claim that no one is truly immortal] "Yes, I know. And once I have your head on a stick, everyone else will know too. So now I get to kill you and make my wildest dreams come true!"
  • "You've never seen anything like me before! I was designed to surpass you in every way! I was born to be your death!"
  • [regarding Alucard's new handgun, Jackal] "A pistol...did that? Jesus."
  • "I told you, I'm completely different from any creature you've ever faced before! I have the sum total of your vampiric power at my disposal - all of it and more!"
  • "He's not even trying to dodge the bullets. Does he think he's indestructible?! Everything has a breaking point!"
  • "He may act like he's not injured, but he's taking far more damage than I am. I can beat him!"
  • "What are you? What the hell are you?!"
  • "Shut up! You're nothing but the Hellsing family toy! A dog for the Church of England not even fit to call himself a vampire!"

Jan Valentine[edit]

  • "Er...hello? Is this thing on? Cool. This message is going out to the Round Table Conference, and a very personal and heart-filled shout-out to the queen bitch herself, Miss Hellsing! All right! Your ass is currently being kicked by the Valentine Brothers! My name is Jan Valentine, and I can't wait to meet each and every one of you. We'll be getting intimate as soon as me and the boys finish lunch, so let me be the first to thank you for providing us with these tasty snacks! By tomorrow, Hellsing will be nothing more than a pile of shit. (...) We highly recommend pissing yourselves, followed by a course of praying to your impotent god. But hey you can be a man and kill yourself. Thank you, London, we love you! Good night!"
  • (pinned by Seras) "FUCK! Ow! Lemme go! I'm supposed to be on top, bitch!"
  • "Up, up! Down, down! Left, right, left, right! Bringing the motherfucking death by Konami! Man, I'm so fucking hard right now."
  • "Fuck, these are some fine cigars. Like, all bourgeois and shit. I mean, come on, that's just fucked up! People are starving in the world, and she's wasting money on this? A slow and agonising death is too good for that stick-up-her-ass bitch. I think it's time someone gave her an old-fashioned working-class asskicking!"
  • "Little Hellsing chickie, we're coming to find you. Come out and play, little Hellsing. I promise it's going to be a lot of fun. We just want to torture you, kill you, maybe skullfuck your corpse a couple of times, burn your house to the ground, and go home and masturbate, okaaay?"
  • "See, I so fucking told you! Ha ha ha! Well, since I'm fucked, how about I piss a little wisdom on you dipshits? You can take this clue and shove it up your ass, bitch! Beware...the Millennium!"
  • (After Walter kills a few of Jan's Ghouls) "Oh man, that's fucking great. Cause I gotta tell ya, plowing through you guys was really starting to bore the fuck outta me!"
  • "What up, bitch?"

First Lieutenant Rip van Winkle[edit]

  • "I'm the huntress, Rip van Winkle. Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor - my bullet punishes all without distinction."
  • (contemptuously) "Silly creature."
  • "And so I have acquired a pretty ship."
  • "Oh, you're up! I ran out of paint before I could finish, so I had to improvise. It was a bit drab up here, so I thought I'd properly christen our new ship. Much more homey, don't you think? The German Third Reich's Atlantic Naval Fleet Flagship Adler is now commencing operations."
  • "Its him! The voice of madness is coming. Raising the stench of death as he clenches the reins heading straight for us with his black iron horses in tow."

First Lieutenant Zorin Blitz[edit]

  • "That's enough back talk from you, colonel. One more childish outburst and I'll blow your fucking head off."
  • "You take that panzerfaust...and you launch it straight up their mercenary asses!"
  • "Trust me, you'll love this!" (traps Seras in an illusion)
  • "Good morning Seras, it's time to wake up. Did somebody have a nightmare?"
  • (torturing Seras) "You can do better than that. Now, SCREAM!"
  • "God, you're such a weakling. And I was so sure you'd be a challenge. You're trash, like all those men I killed. Now, how to end this? Maybe I should just cut your head off. I've seen what's in there; this is a kindness! Now...die!"
  • (to Seras, after killing Pip Bernadotte) "Just breaks your heart, doesn't it? He was a bug, buzzing around my face; that's why I had to swat him down. Like a gnat!"
  • "By the way, if you thought you'd killed all my soldiers in the mansion, you're right. But we've had some late arrivals!"
  • "Let's take these bugs...and crush them between our fingers! Such is the death they deserve: the death of an insect!"
  • (watching her soldiers react to the fully-vampirized Seras) "What...? How is this possible? They're trembling! These battle-hardened Waffen-SS...these vampires who charged into gunfire and grenades without a moment's hesitation! They're ready to piss themselves at the sight of a girl! One stupid little girl who's more dead than alive! What the hell's going on?! Verdammt!"
  • (as Seras kills her soldiers) "It's not possible! It's bull-scheizer! She's coming through my reinforcements; God, she's heading straight for me!"
  • "Hahahaha...let's go deeper! That's it...yes, take it! Show me your pain!"
  • (to Schrodinger) "How are you here?!"

Warrant Officer Schrödinger[edit]

  • "You're so slow. In the time it took you to walk down one little hallway, I went all the way to London, got my head blown off, and made it back. Perhaps you should start thinking about going on a diet, mein Major."
  • [After the Major has his vampires brutally kill his superior] "Oh, wow! I didn't think the decision would be that harsh, sir!"
  • "I am everywhere and nowhere."
  • "Blood is the currency of the soul, the vehicle of life. Having blood offered...is a very different experience than taking it."
  • "Are you okay? You look awful!"
  • [Quoting The Major] "Every soldier dreams of leading the charge against the foe, such is their reward. But for a long-suffering commander, what is his reward when they fail; When they go against orders, lose men and prove themselves inept?"
  • "Such a paradox: this monster is Seras Victoria, yet not Seras Victoria. Rest assured; she'll be ending your unlife any moment now."
  • "Auf wiedersehen!"


Episode 1[edit]

Alucard: You. Why didn't you drink the blood?
Seras: Uh...
Alucard: Why not drink?
Seras: I'm not sure. But it felt like... It felt like if I drank the blood... it would mean the end of something important inside of me.
Alucard: You are an idiot. But perhaps you have a point. Perhaps it's time for a vampire who doesn't walk alone through the night.
Integra: Why on earth did you turn her into a vampire?
Alucard: Why indeed. For fun? For sport? maybe it was just a whim. Maybe. But that doesn't sound like me. Perhaps after years spent with humans, you've finally rubbed off on me. I might be developing a sense of whimsy. (To Seras) Let's go, police girl. Don't dawdle.
Seras: Yes sir! My Master! But you see, sir, my name's not "police girl." It's "Seras Victoria," sir.
Alucard: Enough! You coward. You are a police girl. Police girl will do.
Seras: You're mean!
Integra: Just what I expect from a king of vampires. Or a count.

Episode 2[edit]

Alexander Anderson: I must say, this is an excellent museum. Perhaps next time, I'll be allowed to bring the children from the orphanage.
Enrico Maxwell: Of course! That won't be a problem.
Alexander Anderson: [quietly] Next time, I swear I will rip him to bloody pieces.

Episode 3[edit]

Walter: I've been informed that a SWAT team is going to storm the building.
Integra: How do you think Alucard is going to handle the situation?
Walter: I imagine he'll feel that they are an obstacle baring his way to the main objective, and history has made clear his favorite tactics for dealing with obstacles.
Integra: Even if they are humans? Just ordinary, ignorant men.
Walter: You seem to sometimes forget who he really is... Alucard, he's a monster.

The Major: Hahahahaha! Poor Dandy Man! He looks like a broken rag doll. Our opponent is quite impressive, isn't he? He's stronger than anyone of us could've possibly imagine!
The Doctor: I am… I am so sorry, Major. I suppose this means that, I still have much work to do.
The Major: Please! Don't be ridiculous. Zhis is the dawn of our great success. The zhings we've learnt today will serve us well against zhe Alucard in the future. We've gained access to a most extraordinary being, a midian, more than a person, a vampire. I tell you doctor, fifty years of hard work are about to pay off! You will build monsters, turn zhem into soldiers, organize them, train them, supply them, militarize them and command them! Ve are the Last Battalion! Das Letzte Battalion! It is magnificent, my brilliant doctor!
The Doctor: Thank you, Major.
The Major: Good... Zhis most delightful show must now draw to an end. It's time we headed back home for a bit, don't you zhink? Captain! Let's bring her home and quickly. We've kept the gentlemen at the opera house waiting long enough. So please let us make haste, I imagine by zhis time they are about ready to explode with anger.
Zeppelin Captain: Understood, very serious business indeed. I'll have her at full tilt all zhe way, Major! Da steht, Gang! Alle Klappen, engagiert!
Airship Crewman 1: Da steht, Gang! Alle Klappen, engagiert!
Zeppelin Captain: Steuerbord, zwanzig!
Airship Crewman 1: Steuerbord, zwanzig!
The Major: Destination, Jablow, Panther, Schanze. We're coming! And I don't care how many Hundreds or Thousands or Millions or Billions of people try to stop me! Yes! Anyvone who's there, standing in my vay will be destroyed! Welcome to this crazy time… Willkommen zu verrückte Zeit.

Episode 4[edit]

[The Major addresses the British government, Hellsing and Iscariot via a videoscreen provided by Schrödinger. In the background, other Nazi "defeatist" officers are being slaughtered by the Letzte Battalion vampire troops]

Schrödinger: Major, looks like you've really got your hands full!
The Major: No, things are going vell! It feels as though a veight has finally been lifted from my shoulders. I'm feeling quite satisfied.
Alucard: Hello, Major.
The Major: (delighted) Alucard! I'm so happy to see you again- it's been really far too long. (Alucard laughs)
Integra Hellsing: (coldly) What is it that you want?
The Major: Hmm? Oh, finally, face-to-face with the Fräulein herself- Sir Integra Hellsing! (bows slightly) It's a pleasure to meet you.
Integra Hellsing: What's the purpose of this- what are you trying to accomplish?! Answer me!
The Major: ...Ze purpose, you ask? What a silly question, my beautiful Fräulein. Purpose... (chuckles coldly) To put it in ze simplest possible terms, Fräulein, our purpose is a total absence of purpose. You should be avare, Fräulein, zat zere are some people in zis vorld- certain irredeemable lumps- for whom ze means does not require an end. (pause) I speak, of course, of myself.

[he snaps his fingers, and the Letzte Battalion vampires begin slaughtering the Colonel who threatened him earlier. Integra, Seras, and Pip Bernadotte are all repulsed by the scene, though Alucard merely seems amused]

The Doctor: (adressing the Letzte Battalion troops as he videotapes the feeding) Be sure to eat every bite. If he turns into a ghoul, I vill not be happy.
Schrödinger: (to the Major, amused) Oh, vow! I didn't think your decision vould be zat harsh, sir!
Enrico Maxwell: (contemptuously) You are insane. All of you!
The Major: Did I just hear somevone from Iscariot questioning my sanity? Zen, let me ask you: If your God would allow my madness to flourish across the globe... (grins) zen, wouldn't it seem to you, zat any God like zat, would be just as mad as I? (Maxwell's face darkens with rage at the insult) Ve are ze finest of ze Third Reich- do you have any idea how many people we've killed?! I'm insane? Vhat foolishness- you didn't have any objections fifty years ago. But, never mind zat. Try to stop me, then, you self-proclaimedd "normal people". But, unfortunately, Iscariot is not my true enemy. My true enemy is Britain- ze Hellsings. Well, really, it's that man, laughing in ze corner back there. (Alucard is indeed convulsed with mad laughter)
Alucard:... A declaration of war- excellent! I can't wait to destroy you again! (raises his fist)
The Major: No matter vhat you do, we will never give up. We will reverse this ridiculous situation as many times as we have to.
Integra Hellsing: Alucard, Seras- kill him. (Alucard sticks the barrel of the Jackal into Schrödinger's mouth and blows his head off.)
The Major: Fine- shoot ze messenger, if zis is vhat it comes to. Auf wiedersehen, mein Fräulein. I look forward to meeting you again across ze battlefield.

[Seras blows apart the videoscreen with her Harkonnen. The group then notice that Schrödinger's body has disappeared without a trace]

Queen Elizabeth II: Alucard- Sir Hellsing. (Integra and Alucard both face her) Destroy them. You have your orders.

Major: My friends, it has often been said that I like war. Friends, I like war. No, friends, I love war! I love holocausts. I love blitzkriegs. I love defensive lines. I love sieges, charges, I love mop-up operations, and retreats. Wars across prairies, in streets, in trenches, in grasslands, in frozen tundras, through deserts, on the sea, in the air, I love every act of war that can occur upon this earth. I love blasting the enemy to smithereens with artillery salvos that thunder across the lines of battle. My heart leaps with joy whenever a soldier is tossed high into the air and cut to pieces by well placed sniper rounds, and there is nothing like a tank operator using a Tiger 88 to destroy enemy tanks. And the feeling that comes when a soldier runs screaming from his blazing tank only to be mowed down by heavy machine gun fire, is such an exquisite feeling. Like when ranks of infantry brandish their bayonets rushing into the enemy line. It moves me deep within my heart to watch a fresh recruit stabbing over and over into the bloated chest of a long-dead enemy. The sight of deserters being strung up from a street lamp is an irresistible pleasure. And there is nothing more arousing, than the sounds made by prisoners of war dropping like flies, screaming in agony as they're mowed down by ear piercing schmeissers! When a band of pitiful resistance fighters makes their final stands with nothing but small arms, only to have their city smashed to atoms block by block by 4.8 ton bombshells, I'm in ecstasy. I love it when my forces are ravaged by a Russian armored division. It's so sad to see towns and villages that were supposed to be defended at all costs, being laid to waste, their women and children being raped, and killed. I love to be squashed under the heel of the British and American war machines. The humiliation, as my men crawl around like vermin, ducking the jagdbombers flying overhead.
Major: Gentlemen, all I ask for is war. A war so grand as to make Hell itself tremble. Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms, what is it you really want? Do you wish for further war as I do? Do you wish for a merciless, bloody war? A war whose fury is built with iron, and lightning, and fire? Do you ask for war to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge from this Earth?!"
Millennium Soldiers: "Krieg! Krieg! Krieg! Krieg, krieg, krieg!"
Major: Very well. Then krieg is what you shall have. We are a clenched fist, ready to strike down all who oppose us with our might. But, after enduring over half a century wallowing in the darkness, for us, a simple, "ordinary" war will no longer be sufficient. We need a massive war! A war beyond any other that man's history has ever known! We are but a single battalion, the remnants of a defeated army numbering less than a thousand strong. However, I believe that each of you old warriors is worth a thousand of their sickly soft children! We represent a force that could easily defeat an army of a million and one men! It is time for them to awake, the ones who sent us screaming into oblivion, and who now lie sleeping. Let's drag them out of bed by the hair, and remind them of what we are! We will remind them of what it feels like to live in fear. We will remind them of the sound our jackboots make against their throats. We will remind them, that there are more things between Heaven and Hell than are dreamt of in their philosophy.
Millennium Soldiers: It's Europe! We see the light of Europe!
Major: Our kampfgruppe of one thousand vampires is going to burn this world down to ash. Yes, my friends! Soon, Europe's charred remains will illuminate the night sky! I have brought you all back just as I promised I would. Back to our favorite battlefield. Back to our beloved war!
Millennium Soldiers: Major! Sturmbannführer! Battalion commander! Major! Sturmbannführer! Battalion commander!
Major: At last, the sea lion has crossed the ocean and is heading up the hill! Attention soldiers of the Millennium battalion, this is a message from your commander! Friends... let's bring them Hell.

Episode 8[edit]

Iscariot Helicopter Pilot: We've found our target! He's on top of the airship!
Iscariot Helicopter Gunner: (staring at the Major) What the hell is he doing? He's-a crazy; a mad ghost of war!

Alexander Anderson: Damn it! I said leave, you stupid meddling idiots!
Heinkel Wolfe: And what did you expect us to do, just pack everything up and run back to the Vatican? What sad sort of thing would that make us, because we would not be soldiers of Iscariot anymore!
Yumie Takagi: 'By the cry "Amen!" and the slaughter of the unworthy, the world slippeth back into place!' Those are the words you taught us, aren't they? Did you think we would abandon our righteousness? You are the idiot.
Alexander Anderson: You are such a fool! I just wanted someone to survive, and carry on with our work! Too many have gone to Limbo today...but since I'm charging full-speed into Hell, I might as well have some company. I guess we're going to do this together, then. Let's tell 'em who we are!
Iscariot Paladins: We are soldiers of Iscariot! We are Judas Iscariot!

(regarding the transformed Anderson)
Yumie Takagi: "Thorns...all thorns!"
Heinkel Wolfe: "Anderson! What in God's name have you done to yourself?"
Alucard: "His body is no longer that of a man's. The only way either of us may return to dust (gestures to chest) is to have it gouged out of us...the sickness in our hearts."
Heinkel Wolfe: "Father Anderson!"
Yumie Takagi: "Anderson!"
(Anderson ignores his subordinates' cries as he steps forward, crushing his glasses, and adopts a battle stance)

Episode 9[edit]

(after Alucard kills both Luke Valentine and Baskerville)
Walter: You've broken my new toy... Still! I've got you cornered! This is it, Alucard!
Alucard: Yes... it's time to put an end to this dance.

Episode 10[edit]

[As Seras and Integra fight their way through the passages of the Deus Ex Machina]

Vampire SS officer: Vhat took you so long? (grins at Seras) Strike me down, Fraulein; you do me a kindness! (Seras decapitates him)
Integra Hellsing:...They all die with a smile. They smile... because death is what they came here to obtain.
Seras Victoria: If they wanted it so damn badly, then should have staked themselves, or jumped into a fire, or maybe not become vampires at all!
The Major: (over the loudspeakers) You make it sound so simple, little girl, vould that it were! But you see, mere death means nothing to us. I blush to admit it, but we seem to have painted ourselves into a bit of a corner. For all of our successes this night, we are but relics of a bygone age. "Never again!" Zey cried, pushing us out of mind, denying us our legacy. But none of us are eager to die. None of us simply want our existence to simply stop, like a watch no one vill bother to wind up. Zat vould be pointless. If we are to die, it must be a battle that shakes the very timbers of Valhalla, and nothing less! (the Captain appears at the end of the passage, blocking Seras and Integra's way) Zat is what brought us here- the scent of a worthy fight. Ve are starving, you see, but nothing fills us, nothing slakes this appetite. Ze good people of London were but a snack! Ze world is a big plate, and a man might murder his neighbor for a multitude of reasons. Mein gott, ze potential! Zere is pleasure in a rout, but a true warrior must find a worthy foe, even if it takes him half a century. For us to die, there must be sturm und drang, like the world has never dared imagine! Otherwise, we are like ze crew of Vagner's Flying Dutchman, drifting forever. That is what you mean to us- our last chance to come ashore. I tip my hat to you Hellsing, thou Royal Order of Protestant Knights! You are vunderbar, truly! You bring us something precious; victory or death! Which one, I do not know, but it will be sublime!
Seras Victoria: (eyeing the Captain) Master Integra, you need to go on ahead.
Integra Hellsing: (surprised) Seras!
Seras Victoria: Find him- and skewer that little toad! Every word out of his mouth, is like poison- if I have to keep hearing it, I'll go mad! (Integra pauses, then smiles and nods)
Integra Hellsing: All right- but don't you die. That, I would never forgive. (pulls a cigar from her pocket)

[The Captain suddenly gestures at a sign labeled "Hauptquartier"; to their surprise, Integra and Seras realize he is giving Integra directions to find the Major]

Integra Hellsing: Hmph- such a good dog. (drops her cigar, walks down the passage until she is next to the Captain) Now, play dead. (She walks on, Seras and the Captain both take up battle stances)

[Integra finally enters the Major's HQ room in the Deus Ex Machina]

Integra: SHOW YOURSELF! (the Major's chair swivels around and he grins at her)
Major: Ahh, Wilkommen! Fraulein, I'm so glad we finally get to meet each other in ze flesh.

[Integra aims her handgun at him and empties the clip, but the shots are deflected by a wall of armored glass. She loads another clip and continues firing]

Major: I don't think that gun is going to be very helpful. Sorry- I should have warned you about ze glass.

[Integra empties her gun, throws it aside and draws her sword to stab at the glass, but the sword snaps in half. The Major walks up to face her on the other side of the wall, gloating]

Major: I feared you might not make it here in time for ze main event! What a tragedy zat would have been. You see, zis extravaganza is one night only. Luckily, I've got ze best seat in ze house, and a winsome Hellsing on my arm! (he returns to his chair)
Integra: You coward!
Major: You are in for such a treat! Enjoy!

[he presses a button on a remote, and the display shows Alucard outside as he absorbs the blood of the Letzte Battalion, the Crusaders and the dead citizens of London]

Major: You know, you only see zis sort of thing happen once a century. In fact, ze last time zis happened was back in 1898, it's been a while, ja? But zis time ze tragic hero Alucard... will utterly cease to exist when ze curtain falls!
Integra: He'll what?!

(Alucard begins to disappear)
Integra: What's this?! What's happening?! Answer me!!
Major: It's more a question of vhere. (chuckles) He has absorbed the essence of Warrent Officer Schrodinger, but as you can see, zis meal isn't quite agreeing with him, is it, mein Fraulien? By drinking Schrodinger's blood, Alucard has become the paradoxical cat. He is now shackled by infinite possibility- a Cheshire, chasing its' unknowable tail across the endless vista. As long as he is self-aware, he is everywhere and nowhere. But zat conundrum is now multiplied by the millions of lives and consciousnesses within Alucard. To wit, he is no longer capable of recognizing himself. 'What does this all mean?' you ask? Alucard is kaput, gone! Not alive, dead or even undead! He has become abstraction. He is... an imaginary number.
Integra: Alucard! don't close your eyes! Heed my voice! (Alucard continues to fade, his various eyes closing) Alucard! I'm giving you an order! (pause, tearfully) Don't leave me!
Alucard: (smiles sadly) I fear... I must disobey you. Farewell, Integra. (vanishes)
Integra: (grief-stricken) Alucard! (around them, the Deus Ex Machina's control room catches fire)

Integra Hellsing: Burn in Hell, you swine!
The Major:...I vill. But...not just yet. Sorry to disappoint you, Hellsing!
Integra Hellsing: Impossible- I saw the shell hit you! You're dead.
The Major: Zat's where you're wrong. I have never been more alive. (the smoke clears, revealing his damaged cyborg body)
Seras Victoria:...He's a machine.
The Major: Good Gracious- didn't your mother ever teach you zat it's rude to stare? Machinery aside, I am just as human now as I ever vas, Fraulein.
Integra Hellsing: (disgusted)...Look at you, Major. A clockwork monstrosity.
The Major: Deny it all you want! My humanity is not in question. I still have zat one trait zat puts us in ascendance even above ze angels- it is my vill zat drives me! Ze vampires you vere so happy to keep in your employ- without ze lifeblood of others to keep them going, they vould shamble to a halt! If it's a monster you vant, look no further than Alucard, and zis little one- playing at immortality. Don't mention me in ze same breath as zat fraud! So long as I am propelled forward by my own, unadulterated will, I am heir to something Alucard can only steal. Even if I were reduced to nothing more zan a brain in a jar- synapses firing in a sea of pure thought- I am human, just like you are! Vithin me rests a human soul- and a human's will, precious beyond all vorth. He smiles at you, in ze form of a young girl, or pulls at your heartstrings in ze guise of a weary veteran- so many faces ze monster has, and all of zem stolen! All of zem lies! I despise him. Every cell in my body called for his annihilation. So, I destroyed his kingdom and cast him down into ze dust! Fitting- zat it took a man vit ze trappings of a monster, to slay a monster vit ze trappings of a man! He was a casualty of my will. (pause) My enemy is not human. My enemy is less than a human. Since ze earliest dawning of mankind, zis is ze battlecry! It just happened to be more literal, in my case (laughs, points at Integra) Zat battlecry- zose thoughts are running through your mind right now, aren't zey? I planted ze seeds of zis var half a century ago- now, show me what has blossomed.

[Alucard returns, thirty years later. He walks over to a sleeping Integra and bends over, apparently to bite her neck, but she suddenly sits up and empties a handgun into him]

Seras Victoria: (bursts into the room with her Harkonnen) Are we under attack again, Master?! (she turns on the lights, she and Integra stare in disbelief at Alucard)
Alucard: (chuckling as his wounds heal) Such a violent welcome. What an honor.
Seras Victoria: (delighted) You're back!
Integra Hellsing: (looks away, curtly) You're a bit later than I expected, Alucard. Care to explain yourself?
Alucard: Killing oneself takes some time... and in my situation, there was a lot of self to kill. Three million, four hundred twenty-four thousand, eight hundred sixty-seven souls, within me... clouding my mind, denying me awareness. I butchered them all, until only I remained. I have returned here... but, I'm also always nowhere. It's a conundrum. The truth of it is, I am everywhere. (his eyes glow pink, like Schrodinger's)
Integra Hellsing: You've returned... and in the meantime, I have grown old and grey.
Alucard:...Do forgive me.
Integra Hellsing: (turns to face him) Were you skulking in here... to drink my blood?
Alucard: (laughs) You need to ask? I haven't eaten anything in thirty years- I'm famished. (Integra walks over to him)
Integra Hellsing: (sadly) The young woman you knew is gone. I'm... ancient.
Alucard: (gently) And I'm not? (Integra smiles, then bites her finger until it bleeds)
Integra Hellsing: You're home... my dear Count.
Alucard: Back forevermore... my Countess.

[Integra extends her arm; Alucard opens his mouth hungrily. As a drop of blood falls from her finger into Alucard's mouth, the series ends]